Ayyyy!

Ah, the Eighties. When Women were Women and Men were… Village People?

Flash back to that golden decade of convoys, cowboys, and craziness with that timeless goddess, Cher. This is technically from 1979, but let’s face it, this is as Eighties as it gets.

Rollerblades are so 20th Century; the new newness is, once again, Roller skates. They have the added advantage of weighing half a ton, so you get an even better workout than blading!

This isn’t exactly fair because, well, it’s Cher, but I think JLo has enough self-esteem to consider it a close race.

Sonny and Cher, circa 1966:

Sonny and Cher knew how to rock the bobcat vest

And Jennifer Lopez, shopping on New Year’s Eve, 2010:

Jennifer Lopez is on the prowl! And dressed as Maude, the Mother of All Cougars

No, I cannot get enough of that joke. Only four more days left for Wenceslausian wordplay, though, so make the most of it! Here we do so with a little help from our old friends Elton John, Diana Ross, Cher, and the mid-70’s.

Paging the three wise men: David Geffen, Bernie Taupin, and Berry Gordy

Footnote to Fashion:

Gay Apparel Consider It Donned. All OVAH that, sister!

Also: this is a real book:

Manolo says, everyone is talking about the nippleciousness of the 64-year-old-juvenile Cher…but what is really disturbing the Manolo is the right eye, which has begun to creep up towards the hairline…

Ayyyy! With the next face lift, Cher will be able to to see what is behind her!

And now, below the jump, if you are not squeamish, you may see the full picture about which everyone is talking, in which Cher bares her nipples for the not exactly delighted British press.

(more…)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: The Shat vs The Blond (TeenyManolo)

Miley Cyrus has a hole in her head (Websters)

Zachary Quinto’s wholesome spin on bukkake (TenGossip)

Happy Birthday, Shia (ASL)

Hurley’s a womanizer (SeriouslyOMG)

Pete freed! (UKPopSugar)

Pete Wentz’s emo cred is secure forever (JustJared)

Fergie channels Xena, Warrior Princess (INO)

Just another celebrity welfare bum (GabbyBabble)

Madonna’s miracle! (EvilBeet)

Congressman explains the appeal of veganism (DListed)

Who wants to be Reecey? (CelebuWreck)

Kelly Clarkson or Chastity Bono? (CelebritySmack)

RPattz’s abs shockingly fake (CeleBitchy)

Clooney walks! (AgentBedhead)

Kirstie Alley’s reality-distortion field (Movieline)

I really should invest the time in finding a site or two with good nonalcoholic drinks recipes if I’m going to keep up this clean living thing, shouldn’t I?

Uwe Boll will not be kept down (AgentBedhead)

Mariah Carey rocks the Grade 7 look (AmyGrindhouse)

Kiefer Sutherland is calling me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Golddigger dug herself a hole (CeleBitchy)

The Prince of Paris (CelebritySmack)

Eve is transracial (CelebuWreck)

LiRo? SamLo? LOL! (HolyMoly)

Inaho/Kate Moss/sushi; make up your own punny headline (UKPopSugar)

Michelle Obama in Time (DailyStab)

Cher! Xtina! Burlesque! What more do you need to know? (DListed)

Harriet Carter’s magical doorway to the past (IBBB)

When stars attack…fans (SeriouslyOMG)

Is there a telethon for Lambertitis? (TenGossip)

Live without regrets…except that mis-spelled tattoo (Websters)

Once you’ve made the decision to stop aging naturally, you can really get a lot more wear out of those spangly see-through bodysuits.

There’s an entire family of Mule drinks including the Moscow Mule, a hangover perhaps from the days when they were more common than Kias and performed more or less the same work. Among them, one stands alone: the Mule’s Hind Leg is to be avoided at all costs, particularly the cost of your sanity the next day.

Not that I would know anything about that.

Free Starbucks coffee for voters! (CelebuWreck)

Rihanna believes your bag should always be bigger than your dress (CelebrityFashionWatcher)

FYI no, Cher does not have cancer (CelebrityDirt)

SNL soon not to return SOMEBODY’s calls (BusyBeeBlogger)

Bruno crashes anti-gay rally (JustJared)

Buy Saddam Hussein’s yacht (Bitten&Bound)

Anonymous attacked! (AgentBedhead)

Helena Christiansen is queen of the cougars for Agent Provocateur (CeleBitchy)

Some people will do ANYTHING to get elected (CelebritySmack)

Peaches Geldof pulls a Winona Ryder (HolyMoly)

Ryan Reynolds on the New York Marathon (DailyStab)

It’s Jennifer Aniston’s fault you’re pregnant (CandyKirby)

Politics: it’s black and white (Mollygood)

Robert Downey Jr’s manparts in peril! (Defamer)

Sienna Miller now being paid to freak out (UKPopsugar)