The Vampire Lestat will return! (PerezHilton)

Diablo Cody and the Case of the Missing Million Dollar Shoes (Defamer)

Christina Aguilera is down and out and firing everyone in sight (Gawker)

Julie Newmar does NOT go commando (Jezebel)

Vanessa Paradis is Superwoman (AgentBedhead)

Christie Brinkley is terrified of cosmetic surgery (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The infamous Spaghetti Incident (CelebritySmack)

Daniel Radcliffe’s Halle Berry Oscars moment (Dlisted)

Ruper Grint, meanwhile, picks up Lily Allen (HolyMoly)

Amy Winehouse just needs to know the love of a good lotion (EvilBeet)

Brad Renfro’s memory was not invited to the Oscars (Mollygood)

Bourne is back! (ICYDK)

Cher, or Drag Cher? (Cityrag)

Jennifer Aniston puts her eggs on ice? (ASocialitesLife)

KFed’s time is money: your money (Jossip)

Anderson Cooper blogs on the Lawrence King hate crime (JustJared)

Whoopie Goldberg’s Oscar snub (Celebitchy)

Prince is old. DAMN. (Bossip)

Joan Van Ark not technically dead, but Professor Van Helsing is on standby (Gabsmash)

Gary Busey explains himself (TheBlemish)

Madonna is free! (DailyStab)

Round three hundred and eighty-two goes to Jen (CircusHour)

A shopping guide for Oscar party jewel thieves (ImNotObsessed)

Somebody’s fucking Josh Brolin (Websters)

Marion Cotillard wears Cthulhu Couture to the Oscars (GoFugYourself)

Cher on her financial situation:

“Oh, I always think I’m going to be a bag lady,” she said. “When Sonny and I were really famous in the beginning, I remember going out and buying two electric frying pans. He said, ‘What are you doing with that?’ I went, ‘Well I’m just saving one in the box in case.’”

Well it seems that day may have finally arrived, and I hope you picked up some extra bin liners during your nightly forage just in case somebody decides to trip or stand all over your easily perforated train.

Rolling Stone drives stake into Britney Spears with unholy hackiography (Defamer)

Britney’s only Goth from the waist down (DailyStab)

Pete Doherty seeks new life as Smackbob Nopants (Gawker)

or maybe the Easter Bunny? (AgentBedhead)

Top 10 reasons to miss Anna Nicole Smith (Jezebel)

Lindsay Lohan goes dark (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse will bring the funk, may bring the crack to the Grammies (TMZ)

We traded the UK Snoop Dogg for Amy (HolyMoly)

Eva Mendez more Disco than Goth, in rehab for coke (LARagMag)

Scott Weiland, Velvet Revolver front man, back in treatment (GenosWorld)

ScarJo and PeCru go pansexual for ex-sexagenarian Woody Allen (Gabsmash)

Goths Celebs of the Day: Demi and Ashton wear all-black to his 30th birthday party (HolyCandy)

Kill me now: Cher and Tom Cruise were lovers? (Dlisted)

Top 5 celebrity Goth chicks (Hi-5)

The Last Supper of Trent Reznor (LolNIN)

Another reason to drink as if you need one (WorkoutMommy)

Mystery man in black (ImNotObsessed)

Brittany Snow joins the Trenchcoat Mafia (DerekHail)

Lost Boy still lost, still blood-sucking (PerezHilton)

Dita von Teese as the Girl Next Door (SkunksBlog)

Kat von D will never tattoo another agent as long as she lives! (Mollygood)

Kirsten “Vampire Chronicles” Dunst vanishes (Celebitchy)

Madonna is immortal. Because plastic can’t die (TheMeatScale)

Sorry, no Angelina Jolie or Avril Lavigne stories today. Haven’t you heard? They’re not Goth.