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Friday Caption Contest: the Megalithic Edition!

Don’t forget to enter this week’s chillen-themed Caption Contest with Sunny Suri Cruise and her handler.

Here are some back-issue winners and their fabulous, completely imaginary prizes:

DVF is a birdbrain

DVF is a birdbrain

lali
April 7, 2011 at 12:02 am

Diane von Furstenberg models a Thanksgiving hat from her Autumn/Winter 2011 collection

Congrats and imaginary swag to lali, a first-time winner. To celebrate her mighty triumph, we virtually present the Oscar de la Renta Feather Cashmere/Silk Knit Top. Hopefully it’s her size.

Next up, we have everybody’s favorite Dorothy Parker channeler/Galactic and Hollywood princess, Carrie Fisher, looking like Ozzie Osbourne losing big at an online casino.

 

Carrie, Fisher of souls

Carrie, Fisher of souls

dr nic

April 9, 2011 at 8:37 am

Dang, no Force Lightning this time either.

Kudos and imaginary swag to dr nic! To commemorate his her momentous triumph, we hypothetically present the entirely virtual and presumably protective against imaginary forces chainmail bandana and a whack of lightsaber lessons with New York Jedi.

Finally, we have our Zeta female, Catherine Zeta-Jones, looking like she’s starring in the softcore version of Zardoz (I’d watch that, provided they didn’t pair her with the 70-something Sean Connery).

 

Catherine Zeta-Jones starred

Catherine Zeta-Jones starred

Frontier Former Editor
April 16, 2011 at 6:35 am

“To access your T-Mobile account information, press star star . . . .”

We’ll just give him a moment to collect himself. Sometimes men come unglued in the presence of true star power.

Better? Okay, to FFE, a returning champ, we hypothetically present the very Zeta-Jonesworthy weapon of mass destruction, the Flos Table Gun Table Lamp.

Friday Caption Contest: Carrie Fisher Edition

Caption Carrie in the Comments for fun and fabulous, completely imaginary prizes!

Carrie Fisher fishes for a caption

Carrie Fisher fishes for a caption

Fred Astaire will have none of your tawdry, drunken gossip links

Fred Astaire loved his shoes

Fred Astaire loved his shoes

Strangely for a man of his era, but not-so-strangely for a trained athlete, Fred strongly maintained that he had no favorite drink, so I suppose when we salute Fred we will have to do it with an elegant dancing slipper full of imaginary Champagne. He may not have known much about alcohol, but he obviously knew from shoes, and for that we honour him.

And then trudge right on to our tawdry, drunken gossip links. *hic*

The secret of Rebecca Black’s success (raincoaster)

Happy Birthday, Brando (ManoloFood)

Show of hands! (Ayyyy)

The Great Game? (Lolebrity)

in the same way diarrhea is explosive (AgentBedhead)

Mae West could tame anything (BusyBeeBlogger)

Celebrity Apprentice roundup (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Elizabeth Hurley is back, bitches! (CelebritySmack)

The Ambiguously Gay Duo IRL (CelebVIPLounge)

Maybe we should drop HIM on Benghazi? (DailyStab)

But you couldn’t pay her to listen (EarSucker)

Billy Ray bought the first one! (FitFabCeleb)

OMG it’s like stretch pants got marked down at Walmart! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Heidi Klum slimed! (HaveUHeard)

Crackers, Jack. (HollywoodHiccups)

Lindsay Lohan typecast (INeedMyFix)

It’s like if Mad Max Thunderdome had cheerleaders (MathewGuiver)

Just how Fatale is Britney? (PoorBritney)

He could slime me anytime (SwoonWorthy)

OMG fatty fat fatties! (TheSkinny)

 

Tiger Blood Cocktail Links

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Are you WINNING? Diddy sure is, and PWNING too. BOOM!

RIP OD (CelebritySmack)

REM RT (CelebrityVIPLounge)

WINNING! photoshops (CityRag)

SO FAR, Demi. So far… (DailyStab)

Adele is pro-gossip (DippedInCream)

Everybody but me has a book deal and a sex tape (EarSucker)

Three planets that size make a solar plexus system (FitFabCeleb)

Remember Lily Allen? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

One gets Africa, one gets New York? (HaveUHeard)

Aw man, don’t bling that thing! (HollywoodHiccups)

They have country music in Belgium? (INeedMyFix)

Roseanne Barr and Charlie Sheen? (MathewGuiver)

KFed/FedX Xpands (PoorBritney)

“Country Music’s newest star” (PopBytes)

TURBAN SIGHTING!!! (TheSkinny)

Bikini baby bump (TheSkinnyChic)

 

 

A Song for Spandex Links

It’s Leslie Hall. Don’t question, just hit Play.

Oh, but she didn’t make just one hip-hop album. Oh no, girls and boys: she made several albums!

Peaches marked down (guest post for CelebrityBeehive)
Maddox Jolie-Pitt has a message for youze (Lolebrity)
Crystal Renn’s a big bust (ManoloBig)
Celebrity Dad Faceoff (TeenyManolo)
Bookcase got back (ManoloHome)
Baby got ripped off (TheManolo)
Paris Hilton IS happy to see you (AmyGrindhouse)
Caftans and the Country pix (BusyBeeBlogger)
It’s ice princess vs ice princess in the smackdown of the century (CeleBitchy)
Gabriel Aubry is MINE!!! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
This used to be a fun house (CelebritySmack)
These are NOT the kind of darts I want to use on Gwyneth (CojoStyle)
But when is Kate Hudson getting a neck implant? (DailyStab)
The hardest-working pants in no-business (DListed)
Pratt wants to fist the world (EvilBeet)
Gwyneth: nothing but Goop (GabbyBabble)
Someone made a Solange purse (GoFugYourself)
Tim Gunn critiques superhero outfits (NPR)
Hugh Jackman, all wet (HaveUHeard)
LiLo is going up the river (INeedMyFix)
not-so-golden girls (IBBB)
Rihanna goes French (JustJared)
Ricky Martin vs Arizona (LitelySalted)
Blame Mister Rogers! (Movieline)
The Brady Bundchen (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Let’s Play “Who’s More Famous?” (UKPopSugar)
Britney needs a hairvention (PopBytes)
Bret Michaels update (SeriouslyOMG)
Lindsay Lohan doesn’t have a disease? (Gawker)
Russell Crowe stabs Jon Bon Jovi in the back (ASL)
Nightmare on Kellan Street (TenGossip)

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Hump Day Links: The Hoff in the Hat edition

Celebs Attend The 8th Annual TV Land Awards

Let’s give it up for the hardest-working man in no business: the virtually unemployable yet always indomitable David Hasselhoff! Yes, the look may say “ageing gangster gigolo” but it’s a look to which I’ve been partial ever since that Star Trek episode where they went back to the Twenties. The shoes! The hats! The loud, loud suits!

Captain, not only does he appear to be well groomed, he is most certainly NOT of the rodent family!

Jennifer Aniston has the hardest-working plumbing in showbusiness (Lolebrity)

Lin Yu Chun and William Shatner completely work over Total Eclipse of the Heart (raincoaster)

Hardest-working Pratt in PR (AmyGrindhouse)

Hard labour in Hollywood (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ebert’s wife is the hardest-working spouse in tv (CeleBitchy)
Want to work hard for internet glory? (CelebrityBeehive)
Jessica Simpson too lazy for basic hygiene (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The hardest-working gossipeuse on Ustream (CelebritySmack)
Work hard for immortal mayhem! (Virgin)
It’s hard work, burying your soon-to-be-ex-husband alive (CelebToast)
Scott Baio works hard at being a twit (CityRag)
Jennifer Lopez just doesn’t work hard enough at Teh Fab (CojoStyle)
The hardest-working broodmare in the reality tv stable (DailyStab)
Do you want to work for Glee? Or just plain old money? (FirstClassFashionista)
Brenda wants to struggle! (FourFour)
JSimp shows off the hardest-working Spanx in fashion (GabbyBabble)
Peaches is the hardest-working junkie Scientologist celebuspawn starfarker in Coachella (Gawker)
Jennifer Hudson is working something out (GoFugYourself)
Rihanna’s Rib Recovers from exhaustion at hospital (HaveUHeard)
American Idiots spend hard-earned dollars on tickets to Broadway shows calling them idiots; how stupid is that? (INeedMyFix)
A Britney blogger’s work is never done (PoorBritney)
After all that work, you need your rest (IBBB)
It’s hard out here for a pimp (LitelySalted)
Busey wants you to WORK, lazy grocery imps! (Manolo)
James Cameron has been working WAY too hard (Movieline)
Glee does its Madonna homework (work) (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Who’s been working hard? (UKPopSugar)
It’s cruel to put Zombie Bea Arthur to work! (PopBytes)
Secretariat has some guns! (SeriouslyOMG)
The Heat is On…Jake Gyllenhaal (TenGossip)

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Monday Mocha Links

Stars Come Out To Support Amy Adams at her Baby Shower!

Looks like SOMEBODY got a little too close to their Origami Latte this morning!

Peaches rotten, dropped (TS)

Katy Perry, Cthulhu Pornstar! (Lol)

Is school for fools? (YBF)

Axl hates bottle service (SOMG)

Situation: Buttaface (PB)

Robert Tophattinson (UKPS)

The not-so-young and restless (PITNB)

Miley sees dead people (LS)

Vancouver just got prettier (JJ)

Britney stole Harold Ramis’ old glasses (INMF)

Gerard Butler goes fishing (HUH)

Ellen Pompeo is HUUUUGE (GB)

Miss California, deadbeat (G)

LeAnn Rimes hates babies (EB)

Kim Kardashian is a pimp (DL)

Katy Perry isn’t just into girls (HM)

Dennis Hopper has always been big (DD)

Susan Boyle’s got a new crib (DS)

Shoepants? Pantshoes? (CD)

Lilo stamps out drugs! (CR)

How to stuff a wild bikini (CS)

Russell Simmons, caped crusader? (CM)

Bullock is back, bitches! (CDL)

At least they’re off the Dead Kennedy kick (CB)

Boy George has seen Gaga’s gagas (BBB)

Shakira needs help! (AG)

Lilo, how low can you go? (AIW)

Monica Belluci, you’re no Demi Moore (AB)

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Pierce Pulls Links

Premiere Of The Creative Coalition's The Greatest - After Party

Yes, yes, you’ve still got it. Now let the little girl go.

Jesse James Arrested: Shoot-out at the Long Beach Corral (TrueSlant)

Michelle “Bombshell” McGee gets her feelings hurt (Lolebrity)

Gerard Butler is all wet (TenGossip)

My Fair Lady is fair game (PopBytes)

Kicking Manchester’s ass (UKPopSugar)

Chloe Sevigny IS an ass (INeedMyFix)

The greatest cinematic achievement of all time hits theatres this weekend (Movieline)

Does God talk to bloggers? (IBBB)

Win a date with raincoaster! (raincoaster)

Spoiled Peaches (Gawker)

Jesse James’s numbers are starting to add up (HaveUHeard)

Are you there, God? It’s me, Paris (GoFugYourself)

Xtina is a cyborg! (Dlisted)

Beyonce bears babbeh? (DailyStab)

Could Lindsay design flask lucite platforms? They’d sell a million! (HolyMoly)

Hot volcanic action caught on video! (Towleroad)

Bill Murray, Bartender (TheBlemish)

Celebrity skin won’t STFU (CityRag)

George Bush’s wipeout (CelebritySmack)

Hacker=Twit (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Gwyneth Paltrow is a next-door lover (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt in real life gangster drama? (BusyBeeBlogger)

The Hipster Godmother (AgentBedhead)

Sarah Silverman can’t get into a meaty relationship (AmyGrindhouse)

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