What is this? I can’t even…

Ladies and gentlemen, “actress” Chloe Sevigny dressed as hipstervert photog Terry Richardson. You know what to do.

Chloe Richardson

Lois Aldrin rocks the bedazzled Canadian Tuxedo

Yay! Look everybody: it’s Ayyyy favorite Lois Aldrin, with her trophy husband, Buzz. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, even if the eyes are getting farther and farther apart.

Toast Lois and her boytoy with a few Leather and Lace shooters. Lois would do a tray of these entirely hands-free, you know she would.

I’d be the filling in a Steve Jobs/Jeff Goldblum sandwich (Lolebrity)

The Lord of the Kingdom of the Undead does not approve of this floozy (Ayyyy)

Roundup of news from Japan (raincoaster)

Matthew McConaughey is turning into a greyhound before our eyes (AgentBedhead)

Joan Jett is better than RedBull (BusyBeeBlogger)

Olivia Wilde thinks she can upgrade from an Italian prince (CelebDirtyLaundry)

She looks like Crispin Glover in an Edith Prickley costume (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay Lohan will stop at nothing (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Charlie Sheen, Celebrity Chef? (DailyStab)

Disney is REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel (EarSucker)

They may be immortal, but they’re still not taking any chances (FitFabCeleb)

Scary clownceleb faces (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Celebrities care! Or at least fake it plausibly! (HaveUHeard)

The latest in celebrity injustices (HollywoodHiccups)

Tony Dunzo (INeedMyFix)

Justin Timberlake has a new plus one (MathewGuiver)

Martha Stewart is a surrogramma (TheSkinny)

Yes, yes, you’ve still got it. Now let the little girl go.

Jesse James Arrested: Shoot-out at the Long Beach Corral (TrueSlant)

Michelle “Bombshell” McGee gets her feelings hurt (Lolebrity)

Gerard Butler is all wet (TenGossip)

My Fair Lady is fair game (PopBytes)

Kicking Manchester’s ass (UKPopSugar)

Chloe Sevigny IS an ass (INeedMyFix)

The greatest cinematic achievement of all time hits theatres this weekend (Movieline)

Does God talk to bloggers? (IBBB)

Win a date with raincoaster! (raincoaster)

Spoiled Peaches (Gawker)

Jesse James’s numbers are starting to add up (HaveUHeard)

Are you there, God? It’s me, Paris (GoFugYourself)

Xtina is a cyborg! (Dlisted)

Beyonce bears babbeh? (DailyStab)

Could Lindsay design flask lucite platforms? They’d sell a million! (HolyMoly)

Hot volcanic action caught on video! (Towleroad)

Bill Murray, Bartender (TheBlemish)

Celebrity skin won’t STFU (CityRag)

George Bush’s wipeout (CelebritySmack)

Hacker=Twit (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Gwyneth Paltrow is a next-door lover (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt in real life gangster drama? (BusyBeeBlogger)

The Hipster Godmother (AgentBedhead)

Sarah Silverman can’t get into a meaty relationship (AmyGrindhouse)

You think it’s easy being a style icon? You’d be bloody depressed, too, if you had to fell, skin, and stitch your own pantaloons before getting dressed each day.

Sarah Fawcett-Majors (WOWReport)

Isaac Hayes sticks it to $cientology from beyond the grave (AgentBedhead)

Allegra Versace needs a sammich! (EvilBeet)

America the very attractive in a tight t-shirt (FourFour)

Lord Karl chats with an airconditioning duct (GoFugYourself)

Lily Allen got Grey Goosed (UKPopsugar)

Beyonce is changing her name: to SYBILL (HollywoodBackwash)

Chloe Sevigny rocks the Charlie Chaplin as an Emo Carny look (ImNotObsessed)

Sarah Palin wants a son called Zamboni (Mollygood)

Michael Madsen just overtired, not insane (WizbangPop)

Carrie Underwood and Wax Carrie Underwood both look like Carrie Underwood impersonators (CelebritySmack)

Seth Rogen prefers to be cuddly (DailyStab)

Sulu strikes back at The Shat (Defamer)

Won’t you pray for the marginalized of Hollywood? (Gawker)

The Palin wardrobe through history (DailyBeast)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Coleman vs Fairbanks (TeenyManolo)

America’s Next Top Recap (IBBB)

Lindsay Lohan too Ugly for Betty (SeriouslyOMG)

Paris Hilton is a dollface (Websters)

Steve Bing, ladykiller? (CandyKirby)

Chelsy Davy comes to her senses; Prince Harry now off the market again (HolyMoly)

Tom Cruise, skanky old perv? (AgentBedhead)

Boy George vs Ginger Spice, bet on the chick to win (GabbyBabble)

Natalie Portman busts a move (IDontLikeYouInThatWay)

Zac Efron gets posies from photogs (JustJared)

Viggo Alan Poe: quoth the raven, Stallone is directing??? WTF? (TunaFlix)

Mary Kate Olsen shows off her troll hooker style (TheMeatScale)

13 going on 40: the latest Lohan (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse fired by tour manager (CrabbiesHollywood)

George Clooney is ready to ride (TMZ)

David Copperfield’s island, reputation sinking (StupidCelebritiesGossip)

A Paltrow grows in Brooklyn (but still looks Protestant) (Mollygood)

Chloe Sevigny for Chloe (DailyStab)

Lohan on the loose! Lock up your sons! (D*anasDirt)

Hard time for Lindsay (WebstersIsMyBiotch)

A surgeon’s thoughts on the Donda West case  (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Hawt Rainn Wilson and hot Dr. Pepper (Defamer)

Spice Fug (GoFugYourself)

Britney can’t drive with the Federspawn (PerezHilton)

“Have you seen Chloe?

We’re going to the staff Halloween party after my 2:30 Rat Pack tribute on the Lido Deck.”