Ayyyy!

John Mayer commemorates this day with historic haircut (CelebrityDirt)

Christina Aguilera is overcome at the emotional celebration (CandyKirby)

Asbestos is the opiate of the people…the people who go on Scientology cruises (AgentBedhead)

Madonna and Justin Timberlake entertain the masses (DailyStab)

Let them eat brioche, say Angie and Brad (ImNotObsessed)

Brazilian shoemaker poses with accessibly-priced, responsibly-manufactured footwear (DerekHail)

Britney Spears blew $61 million dollars in one year and you earn no interest on your tax refund (CeleBitchy)

Gadfly of the establishment the DC Madam dies under mysterious circumstances (Jezebel)

The Man keeps the People down yet again (DListed)

Comrade Ricky Martin launches human rights hotline (ICYDK)

Performers reenact the effect of Capitalism on the Worker. Also: hawt (CelebSlam)

People Magazine now the official newsletter of Doublethink (Websters)

The Opiate of the People just got the cover of Time (Mollygood)

SATC collective maintains party line (PopSugar)

Rehab a rehab: do I smell a new Vegas-themed commune? (Defamer)

At least someone was on hand to sound the death knell for protest marches: Million DJ March (Gawker)

Control of the means of production means Stella McCartney will keep you in pretty, lucite chains (GabbyBabble)

The overlords stick together even on AI (CelebritySmack)

Pete’s in the pokey (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse is a wigger (Yeeeeah)

Wigger, please. Benji Madden’s blackface birthday (ImNotObsessed)

Top Ten most hated people on the internet (Radar)

Stars in their eyes, parole in their futures: top 25 child stars (Defamer)

Nobody puts Swayze in the corner (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise’s Village People connection (HollywoodOffender)

Naomi Campbell is black, beautiful, bitchy, and banned (TheBlemish)

Bai Ling is Grand Fug Champion, 2008 (GoFugYourself)

War of the Worlds 2 starring John Travolta and not at all insane Tom Cruise (CelebritySmack)

Christina Aguilera’s peeled pool party profanity (GenosWorld)

Jessica Simpson finds her dream man (Websters)

The inexorable return of Corey Haim (SeriouslyOMG)

90210 2.0 (CircusHour)

I Ken Lee: a YouTube superstar is born (TheManolo)

Brian Atene: a YouTube superstar returns (YouTube)

Kate Beckinsale’s Kiefer Sutherland fantasy (DailyStab)

David Beckham has been a bad, bad boy (JustJared)

Jessica Alba discovers esoteric French cuisine: the ham and cheese sandwich (Dlisted)

RIP Gary Gygax (TeenyManolo)

JLo and Marc Anthony are so over doing it (DailyStab)

Liev Schrieber is a sexy supervillain (Derober)

Rosie O’Donnell: a portrait of the artist as a pile of junk food (AgentBedhead)

Nicole beats Xtina in the Mommystakes (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Alba is turning into JLo: Oh No! (IBBB)

Paris Hilton’s Buddhist holy man is unholy sham (GoneHollywood)

Vanessa Hudgens gets her drink, arrest on (BackseatCuddler)

Madonna and Demi Moore’s Oscar party candids (Defamer)

20 stupidest faces of Patrick Swayze, and that’s some tough competition (BWE)

Jeremy Piven parties with geeks (Gawker)

Famous writers as children (SomethingAwful)

The Project Runway guide to New York (Gridskipper)

Celebrities without necks (Celebitchy)

Pete Doherty … nah, I can’t say THAT! (Celebwarship)

Mac Guy sez Charlie’s Angel smells heavenly (ImNotObsessed)

There IS no tomorrow for Paula Abdul (ICYDK)

Mary-Kate Olsen’s face approaching Joan Rivers territory (Cityrag)

KFed is fat. Word. The word is “Fat.” (Yeeeeah)

Jamie Lee Curtis is not afraid of Jason, not afraid of Freddy Krueger, and she’s sure as HELL not afraid of a little constipation (GlitteratiGossip)

Christina Aguilera on the dangers of bouncy castles:

“We were jumping on one at a party, but someone landed on my neck and really hurt me.”

Unfortunately for that person, they had also hoped to land on something soft and bouncy.

Gary Busey attacks children, including Britney (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Jay-Z is accursed, in bed with slave traders (Gawker)

The Real Housewives of New York is unreal! (Jezebel)

It’s called the casting crouch nowadays (Defamer)

Could YOU be Jamie-Lynn Spears’s babydaddy? (Celebitchy)

Christina Aguilera’s boobs are one veiny, lopsided mess (ImNotObsessed)

Ali Lohan wants to be just like her big sister. Only without the mug shots and dry spells (JustJared)

Amy Winehouse has Estee Lauder running scared, yew betcha (Dlisted)

The blogosphere takes a scalp (DeusExMalcontent)

Secrets of Celebrity Swag (Forbes)

The twins have landed (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Owen Wilson to spend another Night at the Museum, six months at my place (MTVMoviesBlog)

Owen Wilson apparently looking up his old dealer (AllHeadlineNews)

Britney went cold turkey for four hours today (Mollygood)

If Jessica McClintock passed out on a Monet… (GoFugYourself)

Tom Cruise is the most popular freak in the circus (CircusHour)

A man who dresses like Perez Hilton should NOT be hating on the Anna Piaggi (PerezHilton)

Keira Knightly is soulless, miserable about it. So are we, actually (AgentBedhead)

Mischa Barton charged on four counts (EvilBeet)

Valerie Bertinelli has a damn good excuse: she was wasted! (CelebritySmack)

The Vampire Lestat will return! (PerezHilton)

Diablo Cody and the Case of the Missing Million Dollar Shoes (Defamer)

Christina Aguilera is down and out and firing everyone in sight (Gawker)

Julie Newmar does NOT go commando (Jezebel)

Vanessa Paradis is Superwoman (AgentBedhead)

Christie Brinkley is terrified of cosmetic surgery (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The infamous Spaghetti Incident (CelebritySmack)

Daniel Radcliffe’s Halle Berry Oscars moment (Dlisted)

Ruper Grint, meanwhile, picks up Lily Allen (HolyMoly)

Amy Winehouse just needs to know the love of a good lotion (EvilBeet)

Brad Renfro’s memory was not invited to the Oscars (Mollygood)

Bourne is back! (ICYDK)

Cher, or Drag Cher? (Cityrag)

Jennifer Aniston puts her eggs on ice? (ASocialitesLife)

KFed’s time is money: your money (Jossip)

Anderson Cooper blogs on the Lawrence King hate crime (JustJared)

Whoopie Goldberg’s Oscar snub (Celebitchy)

Prince is old. DAMN. (Bossip)

Joan Van Ark not technically dead, but Professor Van Helsing is on standby (Gabsmash)

Gary Busey explains himself (TheBlemish)

Madonna is free! (DailyStab)

Round three hundred and eighty-two goes to Jen (CircusHour)

A shopping guide for Oscar party jewel thieves (ImNotObsessed)

Somebody’s fucking Josh Brolin (Websters)

Marion Cotillard wears Cthulhu Couture to the Oscars (GoFugYourself)

Liveblogging the Oscars (Defamer)

Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Ben Affleck (Gawker)

Britney taken away by the men in white coats (TMZ)

Christina Aguilera has baby rage (Hollyscoop)

Eli Roth is a bedhead beyond belief (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan had too many double waters on the rocks (CelebritySmack)

Katie Holmes was delusional as a child (ImNotObsessed)

Directions to the Playboy Mansion (Derober)

Lessons from the Oscars (CircusHour)

Enough with the Oscars: who won the Razzies? (HolyMoly)

Worst idea for a musical ev-ar (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Gary Busey’s attempted red carpet rape of Jennifer Garner thwarted by Ryan “Macho” Seacrest (ASocialitesLife)

Pot calls kettle black (PerezHilton)

Diablo Cody won’t wear your stupid million dollar shoes! (Mollygood)

The Jolie-Pitt baby bump debuted to massive acclaim (Websters)

Falling Slowly for the song of the year (EvilBeet)

Kimora Lee Simmons’ death by a thousand quotes (Celebitchy)

Ben Affleck is so macho (Dlisted)

Hugh Jackman is uh is uh what was I saying? (Popsugar)

The Brangelina Wedding rumours: a timeline (Defamer)

But how is Jen taking it? (JustJared)

The Britney Spears wedding rumours (CelebritySmack)

Britney’s secret childhood, not-so-secret deflowering (Jezebel)

Robbie Williams won’t be checking into the Paris Hilton (AgentBedhead)

OJ Simpson’s girlfriend severely beaten: OJ to search for “the real beaters” (Celebitchy)

Max Liron Bratman gets his first magazine cover; his mother gets her first understated makeover (CelebrityBabySmack)

Courtney Love steals Christina Aguilera’s makeup, Frances Bean Cobain steals Courtney Love’s (HolyCandy)

And Rihanna was all, like, you di’int, and Jay-Z was all, like, oh yeah I DID and...(Bossip)

Uma Thurman is smoke-free, ready for spermination (ICYDK)

Win a date with Death (and Ted Nugent)! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Win a divorce for Valentine’s Day! (POTP)

British elegance: Lily Allen fists herself on her new tv show (Dlisted)

Dakota Fanning will not pull a Britney for art (EvilBeet)

Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal’s son arrested for DUI and drugs (BackseatCuddler)

Amy Winehouse tells a tale of two Blakes (CelebWarship)

Isla Fisher has definitely, maybe lost the baby weight (DailyStab)

Wendy seeks Peter Pan on the red carpet (GoFugYourself)

Katherine Heigl plays dress-up with medical personnel (ImNotObsessed)

Janice Dickenson gets a new face: Kimora Lee Simmons’! (PerezHilton)

Courney Cox has fallen and she can’t get up under the weight of those extensions (Websters)

Who wore it better, the Division Championships (SecondCityStyle)

Prayers for Britney: a Social Movement (PrayersForBritney)

I’m stuck in rehab with Pat O’Brien (StuckInRehabWithPatO’Brien)

Paris Hilton hires the handicapped: colorblind Oompa-Loompa thanks her (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse, British-mawed no more (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Rap Sheet (LiquidGeneration)

Failed murderess still taking shots at the victim 16 years later (CelebritySmack)

Rihanna in post-Grammy, pre-Afterparty car crash (Dlisted)

Princes William and Harry to bike across Africa (CelebrityRightpundit)

Frances Bean Cobain is pretty, not her parents (Celebwarship)

More than we really wanted to know about Heather Mills’s erogenous zones (Mollygood)

Gwyneth sez: Brooklyn is the new Malawi (Popsugar)

Sienna Miller got her driver’s license, needs new photo to go with her new face (ICYDK)

Owen Wilson needs another intervention to get him off Kate Hudson (CeleBitchy)

Nicholas Cage sues Peggy Sue! (DailyStab)

Katherine Heigl gets a mom-makeover (EvilBeet)

Charlotte Church is a Jedi Mistress (HolyMoly)

The Knowles sisters keep it real. Real bitchy (GoFugYourself)

Johnny Depp’s kids go to Disneyland (JustJared)

Playdate for Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie? (ImNotObsessed)

Engineering secrets of the rich and famous, starring Aretha Franklin (HolyCandy)

New Line stiffs the estate of JRR Tolkien (PerezHilton)

Jennifer Aniston is 39. But how does Angelina feel about that? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Trent Reznor now twice as pretty (raincoaster)

Britney busts loose, boots bodyguard (PerezHilton)

Kirstie Alley’s body thetans get the better of her (Websters)

Heath Ledger had ingested the entire alphabet, but it was all legal (Yeeeeah)

Delta Burke is an institution! Also in an institution (Celebitchy)

Mary-Kate Olsen is a purse hoarding hobbit (ImNotObsessed)

Sienna Miller is pretty, useless (AgentBedhead)

Adrien Grenier is veg-friendly (TheMeatScale)

Kirsten Dunst also institutionalized, not an institution (DailyStab)

Jordana Brewster is going to be a star someday… (Defamer)

Christina Aguilera doesn’t NEED your oxygen! (fourfour)

What happens in Miss Nevada stays in Miss Nevada, at least until she showers (Dlisted)

Brittany Murphy is 65, but her lips are only 3 months old (GoFugYourself)

Scientology is one big, dysfunctional family (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse may swap rehab for prison (CelebParasite)

Flight of the (Steven) Seagal (HolyMoly)

Tabloid roundup: the week in oversexed hobbits (Mollygood)

Who wants to look like a celebrity? Everyone, apparently (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld slaver over the juicy, tender souls of the innocent (CelebritiesEating)

Wacko Jacko will crash the Grammys (CelebritySmack)

Republicans and nerds put the “trade” in sex trade (Jezebel)

Support Orama! (Orama08)

Rehabilitate ‘08! (Derober)

Puppy Bowl! (WithMalice)

Uneasy Riders: Brad Pitt vs Tom Cruise (Defamer)

Canadian celebrity gossip blogging smackdown! (Gawker)

Sam Lufti is no René Angelil! (Jezebel)

Smells like…Holy Spirit! (MoonbeamMcqueen)

What’s new for Old Spice Girls (AgentBedhead)

Tom Jones insures his chestrug for seven mill (CelebritySmack)

Angelina Jolie was sperminated the old-fashioned way (Celebitchy)

Nicole Richie’s big win over Christina Aguilera (Gabsmash)

TomKat’s latest project (HolyCandy)

Halle Berry’s babydaddy is prettier than you, her (DailyStab)

John Mayer rocks the Borat nutsack bathing suit (WeLoveCelebs)

Lindsay Lohan’s loose lips (HollywoodBackwash)

Viggo’s (fashion) Promises (GoFugYourself)

Milo Ventimiglia is not amused (ImNotObsessed)

Heath Ledger, 28, RIP (Gawker)

Heath Ledger’s scarily foreshadowing interview (PerezHilton)

Heath Ledger’s final bow (Defamer)

Now that Suzanne Pleshette is gone, it’s all up to Angie Dickinson (raincoaster)

P. Doody has another name change (CelebritySmack)

Angelina Jolie is DISSED! (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Scarlett Johansson’s boobs cheer up the troops (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan wins two Razzies! (HollywoodOffender)

Christina Aguilera’s baby is one of the Chosen People (GabbyBabble)

The TomKat robot! (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Dita VonTeese offers you her secret weapon (CelebWarship)

The John Travolta Scientology video, in case you thought you’d seen them all (CeleBitchy)

Beauty Queen bitchfight (Dlisted)

Margaret Cho lets flow (HuffPo)

Mena Suvari rocks the Auntie Entity Beyond Thunderdome look (GoFugYourself)

Charlie Sheen vs Denise Richards: classfest! (HolyCandy)

Nicole Richie watched herself give birth in the mirror (ImNotObsessed)

30 Seconds to SARS (Mollygood)