The Divine Miss M rises from the dead, returns to play Vegas (disembedded)

These boobs were made for Walken (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan vs Marilyn Monroe: duelling nekkids (CelebritySmack)

Mr. Amy Winehouse OD’s in prison again (Celebitchy)

Joan Collins, home on the range (TheMeatScale)

Chez Suri: The TomKat love nest (Derober)

Heather Mills stands by her man, whether he likes it or not (Dlisted)

Aretha fails to get respect from PETA (Bossip)

Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Kirsten Dunst for being Drunkst (Yeeeeah)

Jakey gets a makeover (PopSugar)

Kathleen Turner made of stone, not romancing (HollywoodRag)

Russell Crowe cast in new Austin Powers flick? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Lily Allen, stripper chauffeuse (ImNotObsessed)

Poll: Who’s the hottest American President? (HolyCandy)

Travis Barker dates up, Paris Hilton dates down (DailyStab)

Heath Ledger: Saint or Sinner?  (Defamer)

Do women want gossip that hates women? (Jezebel)

Celebrity toplessness reaches critical levels: McConaughey alert! (Gawker)

McDreamy and McSteamy Valentines cards 4 u! (Defamer)

Twisted celebrity Valentines (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Happy Singles Awareness Day! (Jezebel)

Happy National Impotence Day! (Fleshbot, site NSFW)

Slash’s son is a chip off the old testicle (AgentBedhead)

Valentine’s Day love sayings (Quotes)

Gay modern love stories (Gawker)

Send Lane Garrison a Valentine (CelebritySmack)

What Material is the Material Girl made of? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jennifer LOVE Hewitt is a flower girl (DailyStab)

Jane Fonda talks dirty (Celebrity Cowboy)

Is Katie Holmes carrying dodecatuplets? (ASocialitesLife)

Lindsay Lohan’s low-maintenance, love-ready ‘do (HolyCandy)

Kelly Osborne, ice queen (Dlisted)

The Beautiful People just want to look like… (CityRag)

For the sake of L.O.V.E. I am posting a Rumer Willis link (JustJared)

Jamie-Lynn Spears and her babydaddy still together at month 5 (ImNotObsessed)

Kirstie Alley’s body thetans cost her the Jenny Craig gig (Popbytes)

Mr. T pities the fool who’s gone all metrosexual this Valentine’s Day (HolyMoly)

Nelly Furtado may be sperminated (PerezHilton)

Rolling Stone drives stake into Britney Spears with unholy hackiography (Defamer)

Britney’s only Goth from the waist down (DailyStab)

Pete Doherty seeks new life as Smackbob Nopants (Gawker)

or maybe the Easter Bunny? (AgentBedhead)

Top 10 reasons to miss Anna Nicole Smith (Jezebel)

Lindsay Lohan goes dark (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse will bring the funk, may bring the crack to the Grammies (TMZ)

We traded the UK Snoop Dogg for Amy (HolyMoly)

Eva Mendez more Disco than Goth, in rehab for coke (LARagMag)

Scott Weiland, Velvet Revolver front man, back in treatment (GenosWorld)

ScarJo and PeCru go pansexual for ex-sexagenarian Woody Allen (Gabsmash)

Goths Celebs of the Day: Demi and Ashton wear all-black to his 30th birthday party (HolyCandy)

Kill me now: Cher and Tom Cruise were lovers? (Dlisted)

Top 5 celebrity Goth chicks (Hi-5)

The Last Supper of Trent Reznor (LolNIN)

Another reason to drink as if you need one (WorkoutMommy)

Mystery man in black (ImNotObsessed)

Brittany Snow joins the Trenchcoat Mafia (DerekHail)

Lost Boy still lost, still blood-sucking (PerezHilton)

Dita von Teese as the Girl Next Door (SkunksBlog)

Kat von D will never tattoo another agent as long as she lives! (Mollygood)

Kirsten “Vampire Chronicles” Dunst vanishes (Celebitchy)

Madonna is immortal. Because plastic can’t die (TheMeatScale)

Sorry, no Angelina Jolie or Avril Lavigne stories today. Haven’t you heard? They’re not Goth.

Mary-Kate is renting out Heath Ledger’s apartment (WOWreport)

Tyra Banks is a mess, not so hot (Gawker)

Heidi Fleiss is a different kind of mess, also not hot (TMZ)

Val Kilmer is the patron Saint of Knight Rider (Defamer)

The Four Horsemen of Scientology (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Eva Mendes escapes from In ‘n Out rehab (EvilBeet)

Jack Klugman not dead, now married. Sorry, ladies! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Rocker Zombie Force UNITE! (Mollygood)

Eighties Zombie on the loose! (HolyCandy)

Aretha Franklin, athlete! (Dlisted)

The Celine Dion workout (GypsyMiller)

Amy Winehouse to enjoy the Grammys from the comfort of her own sofa (USMagazine)

Angelina Jolie on Baghdad, in Baghdad (ImNotObsessed)

Charlize Theron hanging with the hottest pack of trannies in prepdom (DailyStab)

Why is Britney free when Gitmo is full? (CelebritySmack)

Madonna and her Mini-Me (AgentBedhead)

Britney busts loose, boots bodyguard (PerezHilton)

Kirstie Alley’s body thetans get the better of her (Websters)

Heath Ledger had ingested the entire alphabet, but it was all legal (Yeeeeah)

Delta Burke is an institution! Also in an institution (Celebitchy)

Mary-Kate Olsen is a purse hoarding hobbit (ImNotObsessed)

Sienna Miller is pretty, useless (AgentBedhead)

Adrien Grenier is veg-friendly (TheMeatScale)

Kirsten Dunst also institutionalized, not an institution (DailyStab)

Jordana Brewster is going to be a star someday… (Defamer)

Christina Aguilera doesn’t NEED your oxygen! (fourfour)

What happens in Miss Nevada stays in Miss Nevada, at least until she showers (Dlisted)

Brittany Murphy is 65, but her lips are only 3 months old (GoFugYourself)

Scientology is one big, dysfunctional family (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse may swap rehab for prison (CelebParasite)

Flight of the (Steven) Seagal (HolyMoly)

Tabloid roundup: the week in oversexed hobbits (Mollygood)

Who wants to look like a celebrity? Everyone, apparently (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld slaver over the juicy, tender souls of the innocent (CelebritiesEating)

Wacko Jacko will crash the Grammys (CelebritySmack)

Republicans and nerds put the “trade” in sex trade (Jezebel)

Knut the Polar Bear is a fanged, clawed psychopath. O RLY? (DailyMail)

Perez Hilton forms a foundation for premature babies. Awwww. (TeenyManolo)

Simon Cowell is a LOT friendlier than we thought (EvilBeet)

Kathleen Turner is STILL big. It’s the romcoms that got small! (AgentBedhead)

Ben Affleck has still got it, but alas is sharing it with Jennifer Garner (DailyStab)

Is Angelina Jolie pregnant with twins? (X17)

Tori Spelling is an unstoppable baby-making machine (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse is in rehab. Check back every ten minutes for updates, though (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney Spears tries to pick out some new children (US)

Clay Aiken haiku (Mollygood)

Star Jones makes sense? Wha??? (HuffPo)

False gods of celebrityhood (Cityrag)

Agent99 lives! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Steve Buscemi 2.0 (Websters)

Drug dealer to the stars selling more than weed (Defamer)

Doris Lessing, blogger-h8er, Nobel Laureate, feels sorry for chick-lit stars (Gawker)

John Travolta is a klass act (CelebritySmack)

RIP Scrabulous (Gawker)

Tom Cruise doesn’t need your permission (Defamer)

to outsource raising his two older kids (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

and L Ron Hubbard doesn’t need Tom Cruise’s permission, allegedly (BricksAndStones)

Amy Winehouse is in even worse trouble than we thought (Fametastic)

And her husband just dumped her for his prison wife (EntertainmentWise)

Have a Cracky Holiday: Amy Winehouse holiday album in the works (JustJared)

Clay Aiken, the glammest leprechaun in all of Las Vegas (Dlisted)

The Quaids talk about their babies’ overdose (CeleBitchy)

Paris Hilton skunks up The Peninsula (GabbyBabble)

Britney Spears is anticipating…publicity (CelebWarship)

David Spade sperminates! (AllieIsWired)

George Clooney likes a good pranking! (TheBlemish)

Celebrity Lips: the good, the bad, the terrifying (BodyPhilosophy)

Ike Turner: Coke is the real thing! (CelebritySmack)

Katherine Heigl’s biggest fan gifts her with Nicoderm (DailyStab)

Wifestyles of the Rich and Famous: Catherine Zeta-Jones vs Clooney’s Brunette of the Day (HolyCandy)

Dita von Teese is Breaking Bad, but Looking Good (ImNotObsessed)

George Michael to tell all, IF he can remember it (PerezHilton)

John Edwards’ love child rumors (ASocialitesLife)

Jennifer Aniston shacked up, not knocked up (yet) (ImNotObsessed)

Larry Birkhead is not done bottom fishing! He’s Britney’s #1 fan! (InTouch)

Nicole Kidman’s children call Katie Holmes “Mom” (EvilBeet)

Michael J. Fox is still the perfect man (CeleBitchy)

Pete Doherty is exactly 26.2 miles from reality (AgentBedhead)

The Eighties are back! and the Landers sisters have them! (DListed)

Sienna Miller has hairy fetlocks (TheMeatScale)

If grandma’s knitted mitts are good enough for Uma Thurman, they’re good enough for you (GoFugYourself)

They’ve just named the latest Bond girl, and no, you’ve never heard of her (DailyStab)

Jamie-LynnGate roundup (HolyCandy)

Tyra Banks, Scrooge of showbiz? (JanetCharletonsHollywood)

Why Liza fell (PerezHilton)

Christina Ricci talks about anorexia (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Matt Damon’s beautiful gal (JustJared)

Does Lindsay Lohan have a girl friend with benefits? (Defamer)