God, I love Tenacious D. I love them more than words can say, which is appropriate, since they are rock band of positively post-articulate awesomenosity, dude. Their front man is the inimitable Jack Black. When god made Jack Black, he threw away the mold (no doubt thinking “what, was I drunk or something?”). And now, direct to you from New Zealand, we present Jack Black reading the weather off a teleprompter and screwing up monumentally, then going in for the clinch with the camera.

Enjoy?

Hmmm, guess who wasn’t in his school’s AV club?

Robin Williams wins the internet today.

I think I wore it better! twitter.com/robinwilliams/…

— Robin Williams (@robinwilliams) May 8, 2013

And as if simple visuals weren’t enough to snag him the victory cup in this playoff, it’s doubtful he’s ever lied about being a Size Four.

Over at the DailyDot I’ve gotten the job of supplying the Morning GIF every weekday, and many and varied are the delights of the GIFosphere. Not infrequently I find one that is intrinsically delightful, yet unsuited for the Dot through no fault of its own, and in that category is this truly faultless set of animated (extremely animated!) DanRads.

Have Kids Daniel1

Have Kids Daniel2

Have Kids Daniel3

Have Kids Daniel4

Ladies, please form an orderly line to the right.

How I love the interwebs. You could just be minding your own business, trawling the celebusphere for evidence of poor accessorizing amongst the Kardashian Klan when suddenly, you’re confronted with the world’s most compelling BEFORE picture: stark evidence that while our fascination with glamour may result in some remarkable transformations, that these do not come without pain or their share of ugliness.

On that note, let me present to you what has been described as “the funniest skit in tv history,” Mrs Brown’s Bikini Wax from RTÉ Television in Ireland.

Looks like a dead badger on flypaper.

You go right back to your room, young lady, and put on something appropriate

…and by “It” I mean dressing for her own book launch. Dressing to shop for hangover cures at 3am in Walmart? Yup, she’s got that aced, right down to the Cougar Soccer Mom capris and dishwater roots.

Let’s wash the memory of this noxious ensemble out of our brains with a Cranky Creamsicle cocktail and some gossip links.

Operation Global Media Domination: The Intellectual Situation Yay! Mai snob appeal: let me show u it! (raincoaster)

Pippa Middleton is Anglo-Canadian And, apparently, insufficiently matchy. Fixed it! (Ayyyy)

Beer Bottle Sabrage with Matt Stache Booze, boys and blades: a few of my favorite things (ManoloFood)

Ke$ha, Britney, and Paint Huffer Dude One of these things is not like the others, and when Britney looks like the sane one, you know you’re in trouble (Lolebrity)

How is the Summer of 2011 Shaping Up on TV? Not bad, actually. In related news, people still watch tv… (Crasstalk)

Carrie Bradshaw Math No matter how you add it up, it still doesn’t equal Manolos! (TheFrenemy)

Princess Beatrice’s hat has a higher net worth than you do. It is, in fact, becoming more fascinating by the minute and three of Prince Andrew’s exes have already asked it out. (AgentBedhead)

I don’t really know who this is, but I feel his pain. And he’s half-nekkid! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Lady Gaga found two suckers? That’s a sandwich I wouldn’t take a bite out of (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Linnocent will NOT be playing Carrie Bradshaw. Or Samantha either (CelebritySmack)

Annoying Taylor Swift is annoying even while annoyingly raising money for charity. How annoying. (CelebVIPLounge)

Cannes you find a plausible excuse to look at all these butts? Sure you Cannes. (CityRag)

P!nk vs Pink. I wouldn’t take that bitch on for love nor money. (DailyStab)

Divorcing a Kennedy is expensive, eh Arnie? $200,000,000 or so, it appears. (EarSucker)

Japan has some taste! It deported 50% of the World’s Most Annoying Celebrity Couple. (FitFabCeleb)

Linnocent is smokin‘. Not hot. (GirlsTalkinSmack)

David Beckham invites you to give your opinion on his shirtless picture. Why not give it to him? (HaveUHeard)

Evangeline Lilly had a boy. And somewhere, a hobbit weeps quietly (HollywoodHiccups)

Justin Timberlake vs Justin Bieber! I call this for Mozart (INeedMyFix)

Your sad, cougarish aunt has a book launch…oh wait, that’s a celebrity! (MathewGuiver)

Britney Spears has conspiracy theories? Can’t these people go back to arguing about Roswell and leave Britney ALOOOOOONE? (PoorBritney)

Nobody lights up his life anymore. Yeah, I could have taken the high road with a suicide story, but he doesn’t deserve it. (PopBytes)

Eric Decker brings the awesome to twitpics. I’ll overlook the twee hipsterism that is Animal Hats just this once. (SwoonWorthy)

Selah.

Adrien Brody's prayers were answered when he made Hump Day Hunk

There’s just something about this skeevy bastard that I like. Maybe it’s that he’s a winning rally driver. Maybe it’s that he looks so intellectual, and dresses so Pool Shark. Maybe it’s that hell, it’s been a long time and … but there, I’ve said too much. And besides, I can’t run Prince Harry every week, can I?

Let’s toast to Adrien’s dream come true with a spirited round of Pool Shark, the Drinking Game and some gossip links.

Wine A-Z; the ultimate Go Cup! A jogging bra/wine skin combo? Why the hell not, my camelbak imbues my Sauv Blanc with aromas of Gatorade as it is. (Manolofood)

Van Gogh and Orcas Unicorn Chaser. Make your hump day a little smoother with soothing pictures of swirling stars and wild whales in Downtown Vangroover. Yes, orcas belong in a gossip roundup. I’m Canadian, dammit.  (raincoaster)

Top That! Princess Beatrice’s amazing Hat of Hideousness (+10) is for sale on eBay to benefit children, if not onlookers (Ayyyy)

George Clooney chickens out. The television remake of Men Who Stare At Goats was disappointingly downscaled. (Lolebrity)

Life, Death, Violence, Barbie, and extremely mixed messages. I’m not exactly sure where the war crimes tribunal comes into it, but apparently it does, somewhere. Also: Ken is a draft dodger? (Crasstalk)

Dear God, Johnny Depp is a kinky beast. Taking a page from Chuck Berry, he made Penelope Cruz dress up as a … no, I can’t even say it. Seriously, nobody would put Salma Hayek through that. (AgentBedhead)

Is House getting evicted? Hugh Laurie has a great big, leaky mouth. There, take THAT image into your Bertie/Jeeves slash-thinking mind. (BusyBeeBlogger)

Yet another Jagger kid poses nekkid. Surely I thought we’d run out of these potato-faced wonders by now, but apparently not. Is “Club Kid” really a career choice? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

This is perhaps the most terrifying headline of all time, until you smack yourself in the head and say “IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU PERVERT” and move on. But still. (CelebritySmack)

Oh, Will Smith. It’s not the size: it’s how you use it! And using it to annoy an entire neighborhood is just Letting the Thetans Win. (CelebVIPLounge)

Bristol Palin, now surgically enhanced! But not improved: it wasn’t brain surgery, after all. (DailyStab)

Taylor Swift will out a bitch! This girl doesn’t exist off the record, and if you’re dating her, neither do you (EarSucker)

Lady Gaga is Asian? Golly, she MUST have had some serious work done; she doesn’t look it. (FitFabCeleb)

Owen Freaking Wilson and yeah, like, a bunch of other celebs in Cannes, but who gives a rat’s ass about them? Eh? OWEN WILSON! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jennifer Aniston’s steamy banana handling. Look ma, no hands! No desperation, either…that is so NOT the sound of faint weeping I hear. Nosiree Bob. (HaveUHeard)

L’innocent sentenced to live in mansion next door to coke connection. Poor thing. That’ll teach HER! (HollywoodHiccups)

Who’s the $100 million man? The one going around spreading herpes? Yeah, “That one who dated Paris Hilton” doesn’t really narrow it down any. (INeedMyFix)

Joan Rivers better watch her back: Kermit the Frog is after her job. The Red Carpet just got a little greener and a LOT cuter (PopBytes)

Adorable Prince Harry and adorable puppy being adorable. Adorbz! What are you still doing here? CLICKY CLICK CLICK! (Swoonworthy)

Caption the Gouvernator and his ex. I’m thinking something Harry Potter related. She reminds me of Emma Thompson’s character, the Divinology professor. (RightCelebrity)

Stop! In the name of ... all that is holy

The Fake and Bake is strong with this one.

Let’s all have a glass of Bolli fortified with Stoli and a good hard look at ourselves in the mirror (are we really turning into our mothers?) and a few celebrity gossip links with a Mother’s Day theme.

The great Hillary Clinton cover-up (raincoaster)

Mother’s Day food porn (ManoloFood)

Guess the celebrity and her mom (Ayyyy)

Norman Bates LOVES his mommy (Lolebrity)

Rock on: Mother’s Day ditty from Dwayne Johnson (AgentBedhead)

Sheryl Crow’s building her own Partridge Family (BusyBeeBlogger)

That’s it, Bieber! Go to your room! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Sean Penn, you listen to your mother! YOU COME BACK HERE YOUNG MAN!!! (CelebritySmack)

It’s okay, Kate, don’t be jealous. Mom always liked you best (CelebVIPLounge)

Is this woman the fiercest mom on the planet? (CityRag)

Baby Beckham is already colour-coordinated (DailyStab)

Mommy had better get out of rehab soon (EarSucker)

Uh, is this some kind of bizarre Hollywood fertility rite? (FitFabCeleb)

Celebs and their moms on Mother’s Day (HaveUHeard)

Sparklepants and the world’s most famous unwed mother pose (HollywoodHiccups)

Mom Julia Roberts wants to save millions of moms’s lives (INeedMyFix)

Xtina shows off her babyfeed silos (MathewGuiver)

Teen mom Jamie Lynn is scaring me (PoorBritney)

Saluting Sophia Loren, about 40 years late (PopBytes)

Happy mother’s day from Roseanne (SeriouslyOMG)

In certain circles George Clooney’s birthday was also a holiday (SwoonWorthy)

World’s most famous barren womb indulges in Salvation Armani (TheSkinny)

The torch is passed: Madonna’s girl-child releases a single (TheSkinnyChic)

Sorry we’re late with this. Down with a spell of food poisoning: I should never have switched from vodka to lemonade. It was obviously too much for my system (also, lemon juice goes bad? WHO KNEW?).

This will make it all better.

Prince Harry and a puppy. You're welcome.

Awwww. Now that you’ve recovered sufficiently, let’s move on to some adorable gossip links.

Deflowering virgins on television? Eh, it’s a living for Sandra Rinomato. Does she know Harvey? (Crasstalk)

Spirit Animals: how do they work? Help me choose between Courage Wolf and Sexually Oblivious Rhino as my mascot (raincoaster)

Pitcher? or catcher? The all-important “what to put the booze in” question just in time for picnic season (ManoloFood)

Nigella Lawson undercover. Girlfriend, jihadi chic is NOT how you do a topless beach. (Ayyyy)

This is why cutoffs were invented. There … wait … hmmm? … what was I saying? (Lolebrity)

Win a pair of Whooga boots! Like the FB page and enter to win one of three pairs each month (Whooga)

ScarPenn/SeanJo trouble in paradise? Uh, well duh. And somewhere, Ryan Reynolds chuckles softly. (AgentBedhead)

Why do they put the coke THERE? Playboy Bunnies are dumb, yo. (BusyBeeBlogger)

No, seriously, I thought this was Carrot Top for a second. Someone needs to give Rihanna some conditioner STAT (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kate Middleton does a discreet Michael Jackson crotch grab, paparazzi fails to notice? (CelebritySmack)

Time’s 100 Most Influential People once again leaves me off the list. I had to beg them. Discretion is everything to me (CelebVIPLounge)

We may get our wish: Snooki is slowly vanishing! Just hang in there till 2020 and she’ll disappear entirely! (DailyStab)

Anything to get laid, eh RPattz? Dreamy McSparklepants reveals his sordid social secrets (EarSucker)

Oh look, it’s old Mae West– oh wait, it’s Xtina. That lingerie must have more technology than a typical NASA launch to keep from self-destructing. That is one whole lotta surface tension (FitFabCeleb)

Honestly, Gaga, that was so ret- … uh, developmentally challenged! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Kanye Kant (run his charity anymore, that is). Kanye West doesn’t care about other people? (HaveUHeard)

So how much DOES it cost to marry a crown prince? It’s important to do the math, people. (HollywoodHiccups)

Gwen Stefani invites science to knock her up. I know any number of labcoated genii who’d be happy to oblige (INeedMyFix)

Everyone loves a man in uniform. Or a hot lesbian. Just as long as they’re doing a Britney lipdub. (MathewGuiver)

The Britney performance the network didn’t want you to see! No, seriously, they went to commercial. (PoorBritney)

James Marsden with cuddly bunnies, chicks, etc. No, seriously, why haven’t you clicked this already? (Swoonworthy)

An Olsen Twin debuts the World’s Ugliest Pants. No seriously, the other one keeps cracking up. Guess who lost the bet in the dressing room? (TheSkinny)

Dances with Scientologists. This guy has been milking that one role for nearly 40 years now (TheSkinnyChic)