What is it about the Lohan sisters – Lindsay (21) and Ali (14) – that is causing them to age before our very eyes at a frighteningly rapid rate? Is it stress, cigarette toxins, or just plain old mutant genes?  Slow down girls, life isn’t a race to reach the retirement home of your dreams!

Patrick Swayze’s dismal diagnosis (Defamer)

The 5 best faces of Patrick Swayze in Ghost (BWE)

50 gayest songs of all time (SameSame)

Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz are dancing, but who’s the fool? (AgentBedhead)

Salma Hayek prefers boys. Sorry Penny! (Dlisted)

Catherine Zeta Jones has some body image issues (GabbyBabble)

Demi Moore allegedly does not? There’s no justice! (CelebritySmack)

Conflicted Matthew McConaughey designs the very t-shirts he spurns (E!)

The Amy Winehouse soap opera continues apace (Yeeeeah)

Mary-Kate Olsen better keep her monkey paws off mah mayun! (Star)

Daniel Radcliffe faces serious death threats, gets SAS guards (Celebitchy)

Shar Jackson sticks up for FedEx (Bossip)

The Anna Nicole Smith movie: words fail (JustJared)

Julia Roberts and Ozzy Osbourne? (Cityrag)

Smells like…Daddy’s concert! (CelebNewsWire)

Best comedy of the last 30 years is…a joke! (HolyMoly)

Lily Allen is hospitalized for depression (EvilBeet)

Ben Stiller is pumped, Robert Downey Jr is black. Huh? (DailyStab)

Jessica Alba discovers esoteric French cuisine: the ham and cheese sandwich (Dlisted)

RIP Gary Gygax (TeenyManolo)

JLo and Marc Anthony are so over doing it (DailyStab)

Liev Schrieber is a sexy supervillain (Derober)

Rosie O’Donnell: a portrait of the artist as a pile of junk food (AgentBedhead)

Nicole beats Xtina in the Mommystakes (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Alba is turning into JLo: Oh No! (IBBB)

Paris Hilton’s Buddhist holy man is unholy sham (GoneHollywood)

Vanessa Hudgens gets her drink, arrest on (BackseatCuddler)

Madonna and Demi Moore’s Oscar party candids (Defamer)

20 stupidest faces of Patrick Swayze, and that’s some tough competition (BWE)

Jeremy Piven parties with geeks (Gawker)

Famous writers as children (SomethingAwful)

The Project Runway guide to New York (Gridskipper)

Celebrities without necks (Celebitchy)

Pete Doherty … nah, I can’t say THAT! (Celebwarship)

Mac Guy sez Charlie’s Angel smells heavenly (ImNotObsessed)

There IS no tomorrow for Paula Abdul (ICYDK)

Mary-Kate Olsen’s face approaching Joan Rivers territory (Cityrag)

KFed is fat. Word. The word is “Fat.” (Yeeeeah)

Jamie Lee Curtis is not afraid of Jason, not afraid of Freddy Krueger, and she’s sure as HELL not afraid of a little constipation (GlitteratiGossip)

Ryan Seacrest’s shameful, secret passion for Simon Cowell (AgentBedhead)

Johnny Depp, The Hoff, and the Demon Barber Chair of Fleet Street (Celebitchy)

RIP blues guitarist Jeff Healey (EW)

Marion Cotillard says she was misquoted (Dlisted)

Accidents and babydaddy uncertainty are all in the family: the Spears family (Celebslam)

Angelina Jolie cannot be unsexed (Cityrag)

Scarlett Johansson auctions herself off (ImNotObsessed)

George Clooney doesn’t need no stinking swag bag (Gabsmash)

Sienna Miller loves coke (Ninjadude)

Olsen Twins’s book leaked! (236)

Kate Moss demoted (Popsugar)

Oprah is such a giver (IBBB)

Elle MacPherson shows off her lingerie line (CelebritySmack)

Prince Harry is a cunning linguist (CircusHour)

Sandra Bernhard supports a losing cause (AwfulPlasticSurgery)

Jamie-Lynn is expecting a boy, massive publicity (CelebrityBabyScoop)

The Vampire Lestat will return! (PerezHilton)

Diablo Cody and the Case of the Missing Million Dollar Shoes (Defamer)

Christina Aguilera is down and out and firing everyone in sight (Gawker)

Julie Newmar does NOT go commando (Jezebel)

Vanessa Paradis is Superwoman (AgentBedhead)

Christie Brinkley is terrified of cosmetic surgery (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The infamous Spaghetti Incident (CelebritySmack)

Daniel Radcliffe’s Halle Berry Oscars moment (Dlisted)

Ruper Grint, meanwhile, picks up Lily Allen (HolyMoly)

Amy Winehouse just needs to know the love of a good lotion (EvilBeet)

Brad Renfro’s memory was not invited to the Oscars (Mollygood)

Bourne is back! (ICYDK)

Cher, or Drag Cher? (Cityrag)

Jennifer Aniston puts her eggs on ice? (ASocialitesLife)

KFed’s time is money: your money (Jossip)

Anderson Cooper blogs on the Lawrence King hate crime (JustJared)

Whoopie Goldberg’s Oscar snub (Celebitchy)

Prince is old. DAMN. (Bossip)

Joan Van Ark not technically dead, but Professor Van Helsing is on standby (Gabsmash)

Gary Busey explains himself (TheBlemish)

Madonna is free! (DailyStab)

Round three hundred and eighty-two goes to Jen (CircusHour)

A shopping guide for Oscar party jewel thieves (ImNotObsessed)

Somebody’s fucking Josh Brolin (Websters)

Marion Cotillard wears Cthulhu Couture to the Oscars (GoFugYourself)

Are YOU stalking Anderson Cooper? How to tell (Gawker)

This Week in Tabloids (Jezebel)

50 films that changed the way men dress (MensVogue)

7 that, thankfully, did not (Defamer)

Steve-O vs KFed; the throwdown (AgentBedhead)

Sharon Osbourne vs Heather Mills (CelebritySmack)

The Celebrity-Industrial Complex hasn’t finished with John Lennon yet (GabbyBabble)

Who wore it best: Katie or Tom? (PrettyOnTheOutside)

JLo is in labour, yo (Celebwarship)

Paula Abdul debuts robot voice in new video (AllieIsWired)

ScarJo and the 10 lamest tattoos in the world (Yeeeeah)

Does Madonna shave or wax her chest hair? (DoodleWhore)

What DID Perez say? (WOWReport)

Elle Macpherson is a wildcat (Gabsmash)

Elizabeth Hurley is a slave-driver (Celebitchy)

Amy Winehouse’s husband pimps her pictures to support his prison overdoses (HolyMoly)

Hayden Panettiere’s Candies (JustJared)

Ex-con approves of nekkid Lindsay Lohan (DailyStab)

Celebrity Drugs and Alcohol magazine (CircusHour)

Cindy Crawford in Mexico (ImNotObsessed)

Is Nicole Kidman risking her baby? (FitCeleb)

Colin Farrell cleans up nicely (Popsugar)

Jessica Simpson hates fat people (IDLYITW)

The Divine Miss M rises from the dead, returns to play Vegas (disembedded)

These boobs were made for Walken (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan vs Marilyn Monroe: duelling nekkids (CelebritySmack)

Mr. Amy Winehouse OD’s in prison again (Celebitchy)

Joan Collins, home on the range (TheMeatScale)

Chez Suri: The TomKat love nest (Derober)

Heather Mills stands by her man, whether he likes it or not (Dlisted)

Aretha fails to get respect from PETA (Bossip)

Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Kirsten Dunst for being Drunkst (Yeeeeah)

Jakey gets a makeover (PopSugar)

Kathleen Turner made of stone, not romancing (HollywoodRag)

Russell Crowe cast in new Austin Powers flick? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Lily Allen, stripper chauffeuse (ImNotObsessed)

Poll: Who’s the hottest American President? (HolyCandy)

Travis Barker dates up, Paris Hilton dates down (DailyStab)

Heath Ledger: Saint or Sinner?  (Defamer)

Do women want gossip that hates women? (Jezebel)

Celebrity toplessness reaches critical levels: McConaughey alert! (Gawker)

That would be “Nottie” (AgentBedhead)

Yoko Ono lays the smackdown on a Lennon-grabber (Celebitchy)

Actually, we don’t like Lindsay Lohan most of the time (Yeeeeah)

The New York Celebrity Death Map (Gridskipper)

Bai Ling bailed (Defamer)

Hayden Christensen isn’t gay, he’s just emo (Gawker)

Scarlett Johansson is a Blind Melon fan. Natalie Portman, not so much (GoFugYourself)

Amy Winehouse covers her tits for once (CelebritySmack)

Ewan McGregor is the new Chris Crocker (GabbyBabble)

The Olsen Twins are a couple of bags (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Johnny Knoxville’s close call (GoneHollywood)

Nick Lachey shills blinged-out Hot Wheels (DailyStab)

Hilary Duff’s duff choice (HolyCandy)

Kate Moss, supermodel, crimefighter (HolyMoly)

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard spend Valentine’s Day together (ImNotObsessed)

Billy Baldwin skips out on a lunch tab (Mollygood)

I am cougar: hear me roar (Cityrag)

Tom Cruise forces Katie Holmes to lose an “I” (ASocialitesLife)

Indy Fever begins! (EvilBeet)

Lily Allen is a 16-Hour Party Person (PerezHilton)

Boy Wonder no more: Chris O’Donnell is Man Wonderbread (Websters)