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Hump Day Hunk: Adrien Brody

Adrien Brody's prayers were answered when he made Hump Day Hunk

Adrien Brody's prayers were answered when he made Hump Day Hunk

There’s just something about this skeevy bastard that I like. Maybe it’s that he’s a winning rally driver. Maybe it’s that he looks so intellectual, and dresses so Pool Shark. Maybe it’s that hell, it’s been a long time and … but there, I’ve said too much. And besides, I can’t run Prince Harry every week, can I?

Let’s toast to Adrien’s dream come true with a spirited round of Pool Shark, the Drinking Game and some gossip links.

Wine A-Z; the ultimate Go Cup! A jogging bra/wine skin combo? Why the hell not, my camelbak imbues my Sauv Blanc with aromas of Gatorade as it is. (Manolofood)

Van Gogh and Orcas Unicorn Chaser. Make your hump day a little smoother with soothing pictures of swirling stars and wild whales in Downtown Vangroover. Yes, orcas belong in a gossip roundup. I’m Canadian, dammit.  (raincoaster)

Top That! Princess Beatrice’s amazing Hat of Hideousness (+10) is for sale on eBay to benefit children, if not onlookers (Ayyyy)

George Clooney chickens out. The television remake of Men Who Stare At Goats was disappointingly downscaled. (Lolebrity)

Life, Death, Violence, Barbie, and extremely mixed messages. I’m not exactly sure where the war crimes tribunal comes into it, but apparently it does, somewhere. Also: Ken is a draft dodger? (Crasstalk)

Dear God, Johnny Depp is a kinky beast. Taking a page from Chuck Berry, he made Penelope Cruz dress up as a … no, I can’t even say it. Seriously, nobody would put Salma Hayek through that. (AgentBedhead)

Is House getting evicted? Hugh Laurie has a great big, leaky mouth. There, take THAT image into your Bertie/Jeeves slash-thinking mind. (BusyBeeBlogger)

Yet another Jagger kid poses nekkid. Surely I thought we’d run out of these potato-faced wonders by now, but apparently not. Is “Club Kid” really a career choice? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

This is perhaps the most terrifying headline of all time, until you smack yourself in the head and say “IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU PERVERT” and move on. But still. (CelebritySmack)

Oh, Will Smith. It’s not the size: it’s how you use it! And using it to annoy an entire neighborhood is just Letting the Thetans Win. (CelebVIPLounge)

Bristol Palin, now surgically enhanced! But not improved: it wasn’t brain surgery, after all. (DailyStab)

Taylor Swift will out a bitch! This girl doesn’t exist off the record, and if you’re dating her, neither do you (EarSucker)

Lady Gaga is Asian? Golly, she MUST have had some serious work done; she doesn’t look it. (FitFabCeleb)

Owen Freaking Wilson and yeah, like, a bunch of other celebs in Cannes, but who gives a rat’s ass about them? Eh? OWEN WILSON! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jennifer Aniston’s steamy banana handling. Look ma, no hands! No desperation, either…that is so NOT the sound of faint weeping I hear. Nosiree Bob. (HaveUHeard)

L’innocent sentenced to live in mansion next door to coke connection. Poor thing. That’ll teach HER! (HollywoodHiccups)

Who’s the $100 million man? The one going around spreading herpes? Yeah, “That one who dated Paris Hilton” doesn’t really narrow it down any. (INeedMyFix)

Joan Rivers better watch her back: Kermit the Frog is after her job. The Red Carpet just got a little greener and a LOT cuter (PopBytes)

Adorable Prince Harry and adorable puppy being adorable. Adorbz! What are you still doing here? CLICKY CLICK CLICK! (Swoonworthy)

Caption the Gouvernator and his ex. I’m thinking something Harry Potter related. She reminds me of Emma Thompson’s character, the Divinology professor. (RightCelebrity)

 

Stop! In the name of good taste!

Stop! In the name of ... all that is holy

Stop! In the name of ... all that is holy

The Fake and Bake is strong with this one.

Let’s all have a glass of Bolli fortified with Stoli and a good hard look at ourselves in the mirror (are we really turning into our mothers?) and a few celebrity gossip links with a Mother’s Day theme.

The great Hillary Clinton cover-up (raincoaster)

Mother’s Day food porn (ManoloFood)

Guess the celebrity and her mom (Ayyyy)

Norman Bates LOVES his mommy (Lolebrity)

Rock on: Mother’s Day ditty from Dwayne Johnson (AgentBedhead)

Sheryl Crow’s building her own Partridge Family (BusyBeeBlogger)

That’s it, Bieber! Go to your room! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Sean Penn, you listen to your mother! YOU COME BACK HERE YOUNG MAN!!! (CelebritySmack)

It’s okay, Kate, don’t be jealous. Mom always liked you best (CelebVIPLounge)

Is this woman the fiercest mom on the planet? (CityRag)

Baby Beckham is already colour-coordinated (DailyStab)

Mommy had better get out of rehab soon (EarSucker)

Uh, is this some kind of bizarre Hollywood fertility rite? (FitFabCeleb)

Celebs and their moms on Mother’s Day (HaveUHeard)

Sparklepants and the world’s most famous unwed mother pose (HollywoodHiccups)

Mom Julia Roberts wants to save millions of moms’s lives (INeedMyFix)

Xtina shows off her babyfeed silos (MathewGuiver)

Teen mom Jamie Lynn is scaring me (PoorBritney)

Saluting Sophia Loren, about 40 years late (PopBytes)

Happy mother’s day from Roseanne (SeriouslyOMG)

In certain circles George Clooney’s birthday was also a holiday (SwoonWorthy)

World’s most famous barren womb indulges in Salvation Armani (TheSkinny)

The torch is passed: Madonna’s girl-child releases a single (TheSkinnyChic)

 

The Bad Fairy

Truly hath the poet and wise man said that no royal wedding, christening, or restraining order hearing is complete without a Bad Fairy. Given the charmed lives led by heir to the British throne and his intended bride, and the fact that his Great-Aunt Margaret is dead, there is no particularly obvious candidate for the office. We in the Manolosphere would like to present our own official candidate for this office:

Tara “I’m a drug addict, not a pedophile” Palmer-Tomkinson.

Co-starring with Mickey Rourke in The Boxer?

Co-starring with Mickey Rourke in The Boxer?

Cocaine is a helluva drug, people, and with an $800 dollar a day habit it doesn’t matter how many nose jobs you throw at it; you’re essentially throwing good money after bad cartilage. Tara, the woman once rumoured to have taken Prince William’s virginity, is invited to the wedding, but wants to get her nose done first. At this point, however, it becomes a Michael Jackson situation: there needs to be something there to work on in the first place.

Let’s toast Tara’s heart’s desire with your choice of a Mad Fairy cocktail or a Donkey’s Nob (made with Coke, of course).

And some gossip links:

Rebecca Black is SO JEALOUS of this woman (raincoaster)

Hugh Jass has nothing on this guy (Lolebrity)

Karl Lagerfeld, now *I* want to kill you (Ayyyy)

Vodka: is there anything it can’t do? (Manolofood)

The Anti-Gwyneth makes a mean Monte Cristo (AgentBedhead)

I’d cut off her head for that hat (BusyBeeBlogger)

There was an Octomom who lived in a shoe(box)... (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Did anyone see Perez Hilton or Michael Lohan at the scene of the crime? (CelebritySmack)

Princess Margaret is dead, so who will be the bad fairy? (CelebVIPLounge)

Kim Kardashian, Turkey, these things write themselves (DailyStab)

Courtney Cox is no Friend! (EarSucker)

Rebecca Blacklash! (FitFabCeleb)

PETA will get her! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Who harshes on Robin Sweetest Man In Showbiz Williams and lives???? (HaveUHeard)

Planet Earth takes Lady Gaga DOWN! (HollywoodHiccups)

Tinkerbell’s new rival (INeedMyFix)

Fix! Fix! The fix is in at People! (MathewGuiver)

Old Britney vs New Britney (PoorBritney)

 

Friday Caption Contest: Carrie Fisher Edition

Caption Carrie in the Comments for fun and fabulous, completely imaginary prizes!

Carrie Fisher fishes for a caption

Carrie Fisher fishes for a caption

Arsenic and Old Leather and Lace

Lois Aldrin rocks the bedazzled Canadian Tuxedo

Lois Aldrin rocks the bedazzled Canadian Tuxedo

Yay! Look everybody: it’s Ayyyy favorite Lois Aldrin, with her trophy husband, Buzz. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, even if the eyes are getting farther and farther apart.

Toast Lois and her boytoy with a few Leather and Lace shooters. Lois would do a tray of these entirely hands-free, you know she would.

I’d be the filling in a Steve Jobs/Jeff Goldblum sandwich (Lolebrity)

The Lord of the Kingdom of the Undead does not approve of this floozy (Ayyyy)

Roundup of news from Japan (raincoaster)

Matthew McConaughey is turning into a greyhound before our eyes (AgentBedhead)

Joan Jett is better than RedBull (BusyBeeBlogger)

Olivia Wilde thinks she can upgrade from an Italian prince (CelebDirtyLaundry)

She looks like Crispin Glover in an Edith Prickley costume (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay Lohan will stop at nothing (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Charlie Sheen, Celebrity Chef? (DailyStab)

Disney is REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel (EarSucker)

They may be immortal, but they’re still not taking any chances (FitFabCeleb)

Scary clownceleb faces (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Celebrities care! Or at least fake it plausibly! (HaveUHeard)

The latest in celebrity injustices (HollywoodHiccups)

Tony Dunzo (INeedMyFix)

Justin Timberlake has a new plus one (MathewGuiver)

Martha Stewart is a surrogramma (TheSkinny)

 

 

Tiger Blood Cocktail Links

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Are you WINNING? Diddy sure is, and PWNING too. BOOM!

RIP OD (CelebritySmack)

REM RT (CelebrityVIPLounge)

WINNING! photoshops (CityRag)

SO FAR, Demi. So far… (DailyStab)

Adele is pro-gossip (DippedInCream)

Everybody but me has a book deal and a sex tape (EarSucker)

Three planets that size make a solar plexus system (FitFabCeleb)

Remember Lily Allen? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

One gets Africa, one gets New York? (HaveUHeard)

Aw man, don’t bling that thing! (HollywoodHiccups)

They have country music in Belgium? (INeedMyFix)

Roseanne Barr and Charlie Sheen? (MathewGuiver)

KFed/FedX Xpands (PoorBritney)

“Country Music’s newest star” (PopBytes)

TURBAN SIGHTING!!! (TheSkinny)

Bikini baby bump (TheSkinnyChic)

 

 

Hump Day Hunk: Viggo Mortensen

That's not hot sauce, ladies

That's not hot sauce, ladies

His protestations to the contrary, we have conclusive proof that Viggo Mortensen is a Red Wings fan.

And that’s just too gross to explain, even for me.

Wash your mind’s eye out with a Muff Diver shooter (no hands, please!) and a few gossip links:

Zachary Quinto has a message for young people (Lolebrity)

Who won the fashion wars? (Ayyyy)

The St Valentine’s Day Massacre/Roundup (raincoaster)

The most perfect food in the world, in 926 words (ManoloFood)

Charlie Sheen pulls an Edith Piaf (AgentBedhead)

You know, I’d pay good money to watch her in the UFC ring (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tila Tequila has gone Amish on us (CelebDirtyLaundry)

In fairness, I’d snub Avril Lavigne too (CelebritySmack)

Wait till Shia LaBeouf hears about this! (CelebVIPLounge)

I don’t blame him: EVERYONE hates Daleks (CityRag)

Your straight boyfriend will care about this story (DailyStab)

Jessica Simpson is as spontaneous as a NASA rocket launch (Earsucker)

Anne Hathaway wears support hose! (FitFabCeleb)

Celebrity fashion week (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Gosh, Emma Watson, lay off the ‘roids! (GossipTeen)

Lance Armstrong has had more comebacks than Cher (HaveUHeard)

A bunch of Yanks at the Brit Awards, why? (INeedMyFix)

Britney’s leaking! (PoorBritney)

Courtney Love perfects the “Dexedrine-addicted, glamorous auntie” look (PopBytes)

Who invited HER? (TheSkinny)

Sexy Links!

Congrats to the cute couple

Congrats to the cute couple

Awww, isn’t that cute? The Duchess of Alba and her boytoy Alfonso Díez are making it legal. Living proof, if any were needed, that an aggressive nose job that results in you breathing out of two large pores in the middle of your face is never a wasted expense, if it allows one to attract men known to society paper readers everywhere as “and Unnamed Friend”.

In honour of the lovely couple, let’s toast them with a classic Champagne cocktail fortified with a little Spanish brandy, and read some sexy gossip links:

inside raincoaster (raincoaster)

Ryan Reynolds has a sexy fra…what was I saying? (Ayyyy)

Kate Spade’s sexy movie (ManoloFood)

Fred and George Weasley KNOW they’ve got it (Lolebrity)

Sir Elton has some words for our generation’s biggest a$$ (AgentBedhead)

Chris Isaak’s steamy new video (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tila Tequila’s sex tape means we’ll never be rid of her (CelebDirtyLaundry)

WHAT is Gaga doing to herself in bed? (CelebritySmack)

ScarJo doesn’t let cobwebs grow on her ladybits (CelebVIPLounge)

VD Stars! (CityRag)

OMG Tila Tequila and Jennifer Aniston appear in sketchy video together (DailyStab)

Michelle Trachtenberg loves her body and tells you ALL about it (FitFabCeleb)

They get wet (GirlsTalkinSmack)

J Hud talks about her new body (HaveUHeard)

Anderson Cooper is NOT into beatings! (INeedMyFix)

Britney’s got yogabutt! (PoorBritney)

What’s Lady Gaga’s sex name? (PopBytes)

Forget the body: what has Nicole Richie done to her face? (TheSkinny)

Chuck Berry on line one… (SeriouslyOMG)

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