I don’t care if it made you famous, pick that up and put it back where it belongs. And put on some damn pants while you’re at it; I’m sure there’s an industrial-gauge denim manufacturer who can carve you a pair of supportive jeans.

Paris Hilton’s smug mug (Lolebrity)
Feel! My! Pain! (raincoaster)
Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Kiefer vs Idris (TeenyManolo)
What disheveled, used-up Hell is this? (AgentBedhead)
LiLo guilty of crimes against fashion! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Was that “gum” or “dumb,” Paris? (CeleBitchy)
Sentences I never thought I would write: Kelly Osbourne looks fabulous (CelebFashionWatcher)
Back to the SuperSquats, honey (CelebDirtyLaundry)
For THIS a Muppet had to die? (CelebritySmack)
All-Time Emmy Dresstastrophies (CojoStyle)
Their drug use nose no bounds (CityRag)
Cougar Power! (DailyStab)
Breakup breakdowns? (LaineyGossip)
Rita Wilson’s shoes match that dress in Gone with the Wind…you know the one (DListed)
Anna Paquin wore Elvish armour to the Emmys (MoeJackson)
That’s just how she rolls (EvilBeet)
Dancing with the … these people??? (GabbyBabble)
Sexy Spies! (HaveUHeard)
I swear to god this is the gayest thing I have ever seen (INeedMyFix)
Michael Jackson is the king of iTunes? (PerezHilton)
Courtney Cox has gotten HUGE! (SeriouslyOMG)
Welcome to America, Mister Beckham (ASL)

Yes, Prince Andrew, Duke of York, ex-husband of Fergie, the former Randy Andy, uncle of the two reigning Royal Hunks. These two shots are living proof that the minute they discover golf they begin to go to seed. (side note: feathers are totally in this year)

James Dean has a surprise for Roddy McDowell (Lolebrity)

Barack Obama’s terrorist connections! (raincoaster)

This is beyond(ce) good taste (AgentBedhead)

KFat is back (AmyGrindhouse)

Lindsay Lohan’s got a face for radio (BusyBeeBlogger)

Elizabeth Hurley is full of … hot water? (CeleBitchy)

Happy Birthday, Ginger Nice (CelebrityFashionWatcher)

Mariah is mum (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Best Lilo pun of the week (CityRag)

Bonono (CojoStyle)

Courtney Loves looking smart (GoFugYourself)

also loves her talcum powder! (PerezHilton)

Betty White kicking ass and taking names (HaveUHeard)

Gerard Butler’s bust (INeedMyFix)

Urine time! (IBBB)

Ronaldo is dating Damien from The Omen? (JustJared)

Daniel Radcliffe’s Out Outtakes (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

I’ve held off giving this man his own Hump Day linkage, on the justifiable grounds that anyone dating Peaches Geldof must going through a terribly dark period of his life and deserves a little space, but then I thought, what the hell, maybe a little mild sexual objectification would cheer him up? And a reader sent me this, described at the only bearable 15 seconds of his appearance on Leno:

By the way, our honorary, virtual cocktail for today is the Pink Hound, which is a pink version of the classic Greyhound, ie vodka with pink grapefruit juice and ice, served in a tall glass. My current diet version consists of a tall glass, ice, and pink grapefruit juice diluted with half water. FML.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

The Cosby Family: the resemblance is strong with these ones (Lolebrity)
The hideous, unspeakable truth about purse dogs! (raincoaster)
I can’t pick a side in this bitchfight (AgentBedhead)
Nope, those are not Sandra Bullock’s thighs fraternizing with the enemy (AllieIsWired)
Beckham’s back (BusyBeeBlogger)
Who knew Teri Hatcher was a Klingon? (CeleBitchy)
Paris Hilton’s hairy situation (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Rush Limbaugh’s big fat fourth wedding (CelebritySmack)
Eye spy some bad plastic surgery (CityRag)
Hey Rod Stewart! How’s it hanging? (CojoStyle)
Kim Kardashian, Kougar (DailyStab)
DRad is the perfect man (Gawker)
Eat, Pray, Love Javier Bardem (HaveUHeard)
The world’s worst marriage proposal? (IBBB)
Simon Cowell’s shadow puppet army vs Roger Ebert (PerezHilton)
Uh-oh. Britney goes Gaga! (PoorBritney)
Twitter is toying with Jimmy Kimmel (SeriouslyOMG)

I really, really didn’t want to link to Gawker again, but then they ran this:

And, well, what could I do? This is a couple of cougars-dressed-as-lamb Madonna Wannabes for the launch of Madonna’s new clothing line today at … whatever: some store I can’t get to before it’s sold out of the damn stuff but it’s okay, I STILL HAVE MINE!

If it seems insane to you that young girls ever wanted to dress like that outside of laudanum-enhanced fever dreams, let me remind you:

• back then, clothing was street art. It may sometimes have been bad art, but it was still art.
• today, young girls dress like this.
• also, it was fun. How fun? THIS fun:

Seriously, those are fierce! I guess after stilettos, slingshots were next in the list of Top Ten Deadly Weapons That Make Cool Shoes?

And now, to the gossip roundup for the day:

Betty White’s might makes right! (Lolebrity)
Bad News for Dick Grayson (raincoaster)
Mirror, mirror, on my foot (Shoeblogs)
Giselle, you’re no Christy Turlington (TeenyManolo)
Monday and rainbows have been cancelled (ManoloBig)
Captions! In! Spaaaaaaace! (ManoloBrides)
Dr Atkins would have a heart attack (ManoloFood)
Dick Dale’s crib looks just like this (ManoloHome)
Nicole Kidman speaks for 5heads 4 Peece (AgentBedhead)
What kind of discount on rehab time will Lindsay get? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Katy Perry KNOWS she doesn’t make any sense (CeleBitchy)
Did Chelsea Clinton get chopped for her wedding? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Now we know where Lady Gaga keeps her creativity (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)
More Hoff than you can handle (CelebritySmack)
Six STDs of Separation (CityRag)
Is there an archaeologist in da club? (CojoStyle)
JSimp found a Yalie (DailyStab)
Coming soon: the collected text messages of Ali Lohan (DListed)
Hey waitaminit: the company that turned down MY book said yes to Bieber??? (GabbyBabble)
Oh, don’t sweat it honey (GoFugYourself)
The Bachelorette finale (HaveUHeard)
Pamela Anderson welcomes the pitter-patter of little paws (INeedMyFix)
Cloris Leachman vs Betty White in Battle of the Cougars! (SeriouslyOMG)

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why some people thought the Trout Pout was a good idea. If you’re thinking of telling your surgeon to do this, reflect for a moment, realize you are not Brigitte Bardot, and move on.

Inception Spoiler! (Lolebrity)
Feets Speaks! (raincoaster)
Courting scandal (Shoeblogs)
Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Christian Bale vs Liam Neeson (TeenyManolo)
Happy Birthday, baby! (ManoloBig)
Welcome to Diabeteez, NC (ManoloFood)
Book ‘em! (ManoloHome)
Using your head (ManoloBrides)
Tila Tequila, Dre, and some Juggalos walk into a bar… (AgentBedhead)
Cameron Diaz is a cow-renter (AmyGrindhouse)
Aaron Eckhart, my imaginary boyfriend, defends LA (BusyBeeBlogger)
Awww, Eli Roth took his little girl to Comic-Con! (CeleBitchy)
Apparition spotted in Brooklyn (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Bret Michaels is a noted herbologist (CelebritySmack)
Stallone vs Stallone (CityRag)
Don’t Hassel the King? (CojoStyle)
We can dream, can’t we? (DListed)
Say it isn’t so, Kelly Bundy! (EvilBeet)
Is it too much to ask that he’ll play the corpse? (GabbyBabble)
Project Runway giveaway (HaveUHeard)
And in return, Arizona is boycotting alt-rock (INeedMyFix)
Jennifer Garner and Russell Brand barebacking (JustJared)
Eva Mendes, chicken hawk (MovieLine)
Tiffany and Debbie Gibson in the catfight of the year (SeriouslyOMG)

Whoa, they aren’t messing around anymore! I’d like to know who down at Headquarters okayed that hiring decision.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

What Would Neil Patrick Harris Do? (Lolebrity)
World’s cutest octopus (raincoaster)
These boots were made for stalking (Shoeblogs)
Why dress well? (ManoloBig)
This is a pervy poultry fancier’s dream come true (TeenyManolo)
Stacked! (ManoloHome)
New Dork Times (ManoloBrides)
Bill Murray previews Amy Winehouse’s retirement plan (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan’s lesbian prison chixploitation script writes itself (BestWeekEver)
Jennifer Aniston raises a stink in London (BricksAndStones)
I’d do that all the time if I were a Lohan (BusyBeeBlogger)
Whoopi brought her friend Harvey on the View (CeleBitchy)
A heaping hunk of himbos (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Ben Affleck’s Batcave (CelebrityMound)
Katy Perry gives a generation of fanboys diabetes (CelebritySmack)
Foxy Brown performs her version of “New Moon” (Crunk+Disorderly)
I could make a tart joke but I’ll just say “bun in the oven” (DailyStab)
Twit o’ the Day: LindsayInJail (Twitter)
Is this the long-awaited Hilton sister porno? (DanasDirt)
Some people will do ANYTHING to be like their favorite star (EvilBeet)
Forget Zardoz: Hail ZDROK! (FourFour)
Beauty and the Geeks (GabbyBabble)
STOP! In the name of fug! (GoFugYourself)
Kim Kardashian ->Victoria Beckham? (HollywoodBackwash)
Hey LOTR nerds! It’s BloomsDay! (HollywoodRag)
The Big Babeh Bummer (INeedMyFix)
Leo lays it out (HaveUHeard)
The strangest strap-on I have ever seen (IBBB)
16-year-old learns to dress herself (JustJared)
Situation Normal…rest of them AFU (MaterialBitch)
Britney Spears is team LAY OFF ME (PerezHilton)
Natalie Portman’s swan song (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Katie Price is so not G-A-Y (UKPopSugar)
We’ve lost her (PopBytes)
V for…vajayjay? (SeriouslyOMG)

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I THINK it’s just a trick of the light, although nobody would rule out him pandering to his ferociously loyal fan pack of Floridian popcorn-hairs. You’d have the blues too, if someone just hit you in the face with a pair of granny panties!