Ayyyy!

Is Buzz Aldrin the guy who punched that journalist for saying the moon landing was a hoax? I kinda think it was. That’s a lot of anger for a dude whose name is an onomatopoeia, but I guess that’s what you get for going through life being Neil Armstrong’s superterrestrial wingman. I get it. I also like his Grandpa Munster suit.

Anyway, because I don’t want to be the first blogger to get smacked up by a guy with a moon crater named after him, I will merely post this picture of Buzz Aldrin and his lovely, totally appropriately dressed wife Lois who is not in ANY WAY terrifying me with the evil grin and the illusion netting and the shadow that PLEASE GOD is just the draping of fabric on her thigh.

Congratulations Mariah, I don’t know too much about your new husband but may he bring you more bliss than a rainbow-soaked field of dolphins being held aloft by butterflies ever will!

In Touch has exclusively learned that Nick Cannon worked with Jacob & Co. to design the $2.5 million ring he gave to bride Mariah Carey. The store’s rep confirms that Mariah’s new 17-carat bauble was crafted from platinum and features a square emerald-cut, fancy light-pink diamond as the center stone. It’s surrounded by 58 intense pink diamonds and two half-moon diamonds on each side.

Mariah reportedly eloped with new boyfriend, Nick, today. The 38-year-old “Touch My Body” singer married Nick, who’s 11 years her junior, during a small, “very impulsive” wedding ceremony, according to latina.com. The couple met on the set of Mariah’s latest video and tied the knot on an undisclosed island in front of a few close family and friends, including rapper Da Brat. Mariah was previously married to former Sony Music Entertainment executive Tommy Mottola in the ’90s, and Nick ended his engagement to Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks last year. Reps for the stars did not return calls for comment.

Now for the important question on everyone’s lips:  Yes the diamond boulder sounds nice, but what was the dress like?!!? Unfortunately photos have yet to surface at this point, so in the meantime we can only imagine that she kept it short and sweet, just like everything else about the ceremony.

The Good Soldier: Link challenge accepted (AgentBedhead)

NHL/Hollywood doppelgangers (Defamer)

Hey, big spender! TomKat blows $100,000 on Suri’s birthday party (GabbyBabble)

Smelling a trend: Julia Roberts is “naturally fragrant” (Ecorazzi)

Kelly Clarkson is a naturist (TheBlemish)

Paris Hilton doesn’t stay at the Moscow Hilton, got banned from Moscow Hyatt (TheRadReport)

Spears Family a living example of laissez-faire divinity (WendyWayrad)

A waiting world salivates: OJ Simpson vs Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice! (AgentBedhead)

Harriet Carter and the penis leaker? (IBBB)

Laurie Anderson finally makes an honest man of Lou Reed (CelebWarship)

Miley Cyrus, literatus? (People)

Will Ferrell still willing to work with children (DailyStab)

The Revenge of Grace Jones: hot male celebs who look like lesbians (CityRag)

That’s so Orlando Brown: star goes missing (BittenAndBound)

Also missing: Lake Bell’s neck (WebstersIsMyBitch)

MarkeyMarkMarkIII (ImNotObsessed)

Mariah Carey not a breeder: call from Alicia Keys on line #1? (CelebritySmack)

Elijah Wood in: Sex and the Spaghetti (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse is British youth’s top heroin heroine (NewMusicExpress)

Kumar goes to U Penn without Harold! (Celebitchy)

Rachel McAdams is a Genius Barfly (JustJared)

Michelle Williams is haunted by the ghost of Heath Ledger? (Mollygood)

American Idol, kiss, KISS (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Tila Tequila has a series and Paris Hilton doesn’t: justice? (Dlisted)

Meet Your Master: New Nine Inch Nails single free for download tonight (TheRadReport)

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

Every day, every one, is exactly the same to Karl Lagerfeld (Gawker)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

The line begins to blur: Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare  (Metaquotes)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jessica Simpson’s ringfinger/finger ringer? (IBBB)

Guns ‘n Roses’ terrible (eternal) lie (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Connor Cruise doesn’t bite the hand that feeds (JustJared)

Head has, like, a hole: The Hoff has eye surgery (HolyMoly)

Oh no, beautiful people experiencing romantic troubles! This time apparently, it’s all come about because of Scarlett’s refusal to propagate her perfect genes:

SCARLETT Johansson and Ryan Reynolds’s relationship is reportedly on the rocks.

The 23-year-old star - who has been dating the Definitely, Maybe actor for a year - feels she is too young to settle down and wants to concentrate on her career.
A source said: “Scarlett and Ryan have hit a rough patch after he dared to broach the subject of marriage and kids. Scarlett is younger and has no desire for a husband or family just yet.”

It was recently reported Scarlett had moved into Ryan’s Los Angeles home even though her mother didn’t approve.

However, friends say she is just using his home as a base while she travels the world working on movies.

One said: “Scarlett hasn’t moved in full-time. She has just moved in so when she stays over she has some belongings there. She is very much focused on her career and is filming three movies back-to-back this year.”

But maybe we shouldn’t be laying the blame on Scarlett’s doorstep so readily. After all, she’s probably seen how Ryan gets when he’s completely famished.

Amy Winehouse’s home haunted by demons. But moving’s not going to help, dear (Celebitchy)

A demon speaks! (CelebritySmack)

We need a silver bullet for this one (GabbyBabble)

Even Amy’s trash needs bodyguards (Celebslam)

Sir Paul McCartney feels Mariah Carey’s hot breath on the back of his neck (Dlisted)

Madonna, Bono caught in downdraft as Jay-Z passes them (Radar)

If this guy is straight, he’s got the best job in the whole world (TheBastardly)

Robin Williams is dating a blonde less than half his age (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Madonna sleeps with electronic doodads! (Mollygood)

Lindsay checks her stash (Yeeeeah)

Team Sutherland UNITE! (AgentBedhead)

Kiefer’s mystery fashionista (JustJared)

Shakira is a team playa (Defamer)

Dita von Teese has a shameful past as porn actress, Eighties hair wearer (PopOnThePop)

TMZ hits a new low for the gossip industry (Gawker)

Billy Joel rolls with a nearly-indistinguishable posse of daughter and wife (CircusHour)

Yeah, I’d rather die than live knowing I had sex with this guy, too (TheRadReport)

Keanu Reeves still alive, still hot (DailyStab)

Robert Redford still alive, still hot (Websters)

Jimmy Kimmel moves on from Ben Affleck (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Jenna Bush O-Face (Webster’s)

20 most expensive celebrity divorces (CustomizedGirl)

Amy Winehouse is not exactly “clean, green power” (Yeeeeah)

Brad Pitt is not black enough! (PopOnThePop)

We have a Scientologist DOWN! Repeat: we have a Scientologist DOWN! (TheBlemish)

Former child star begins the long slide into bankruptcy, boozing, and B&E’s (AgentBedhead)

It’s La Pequeña’s world. We just live in it (Dlisted)

George Clooney keeps a lid on it (JustJared)

JC Chasez does not Chace Crawford (Mollygood)

Gold digger headed straight for the center of the Earth (DailyStab)

Win a date with Barack Obama! (Stereohyped)

Someone needs to tell Demi Moore it’s just a metaphor (ImNotObsessed)

Lucy Liu wants to be a WASP fashionista popsicle zombie (ICYDK)

Top Model walks? (Defamer)

Most historically inaccurate films (YahooMovies)

Robin Williams soon to be EX-Mrs.Doubtfire (ExtraTV)

Artificial Sweetener Valley High (Gawker)

Tom Cruise and John Travolta abducted by aliens! (CircusHour)

At American Idol, every moment is happy hour (GoFugYourself)

Japan goes insane for baseball-playing koala (WithMalice)

Martha Stewarts booze all-stars (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper recovering from cancer surgery (Gawker)

Scandal in the Heath Ledger estate (DailyStab)

Twenty-five most whipped men in the world (Style.com)

The exploitation of Daniel Radcliffe’s bum! Daniel Radcliffe’s Bum! (AgentBedhead)

You can never un-see this, so click at own risk (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend gave her a ring. And not on the phone (Celebitchy)

Madonna still wearing hers, surprisingly (ImNotObsessed)

Cha-cha not the only thing going down on Dancing with the Stars (CelebritySmack)

When bad makeup happens to good C-Listers (DerekHail)

Colin Farrell celebrates his third Sober St Pat’s (ICYDK)

Jen/Owen/Kate/fake triangle fake drama (popbytes)

Shia LaBeouf is on the lam! (CelebNewsWire)

Things white people like: Dinner Parties! (ThingsWhitePeopleLike)

Jenna Jameson to star in Zombie Strippers? Documentary, perhaps? (CircusHour)

The pulling power of celebrity: someone still wants Carrot Top (Craigslist)

Amy Winehouse really could use that infamous red bra right about now (NSFW!!!) (POTP)

Is this the most disappointingly misleading headline ever? (Cityrag)

Halle Berry covers her baby’s bases. Planning a move to Gaza? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Steve Jobs = Cthulhu (Raincoaster)

From the rumour mill comes word (and plenty of schadenfreude) that the union of tv personality Star Jones and Al Reynolds has come undone:

Nearly three and half years after they swapped “I dos” at their corporate-sponsored wedding, Star Jones and Al Reynolds are calling it quits. The National Enquirer reports the legal diva sent Al his walking papers a month ago.

A rep for Jones says the report is false, but the Enquirer goes on to say, “They hadn’t been seeing eye to eye for months and had already spent a great deal of time apart,” a friend of the couple told the Enquirer. “Finally, Star decided it was over. She told Al at the end of January that he had 30 days to get his act together or ‘get out.’”…

The Enquirer spoke to another insider who confirmed the breakup and revealed Star’s intention to make it permanent. “Star is planning to divorce Al.” As for reason behind the split, the source added, “I think Star felt Al had spent their marriage riding her success while she did all the heavy lifting. She resented it. Deep down, Star is a very old-fashioned woman who believes a man should support her emotionally, physically and financially. She now believes Al failed her.”

I must admit that this split did not hit me as hard as say, the sudden disintegration of Eddie Murphy’s “symbolic” marriage.  Despite reading about their intoxicatingly sexual connection, I’ve always had the feeling that this couple were mismatched in more ways than one.

Heath Ledger leaves Matilda out of his will (Defamer)

Tilda Swinton hates Harry Potter (Gawker)

Happy Birthday, Emma Watson (Derober)

Leonard Cohen is a beautiful loser (AgentBedhead)

1 Clooney, 2 girls, and 1 cup (Celebitchy)

A letter to the mad bomber of Times Square (IBBB)

Anne Heche to scare the horses (GabbyBabble)

Crazy Britney Spears has the craziest stalker. It’s kind of perfect (Yeeeeah)

Big Gay Al is free! Star Jones prepares to coug at a singles bar near you (Cityrag)

Celine Dion is Cousin Itt! (CelebritySmack)

Governor Spitzer refuses to privatize his sex life, shares it with downtrodden call girls (Dlisted)

Pierrot clown claims someone was stealing Kurt Cobain’s money (CircusHour)

America’s Next Top Models are America’s Current Slobbiest Tenants (CelebWarship)

Angelina’s baby bump is in mourning (JustJared)

Cocktail waitress gives up job to marry George Clooney (IDLYITW)

Matthew McConaughey wants to name his son after beer (HollywoodRag)

Jamie-Lynn’s baby bump is bountiful (US)

Lindsay Lohan’s next gig? (TeenyManolo)

Top seven Suri Cruise Conspiracy Theories (BritboyLA)

Britney’s about to meet my mother (TMZ)

Natalie Portman wants to give it away (Jezebel)

Joe Francis is about to skip bail (PerezHilton)

If at first you don’t succeed, you marry Tom Cruise (Mollygood)

Should wives of scandalous men stand by them? (CitizenSugar)

Cindy Crawford notches another kill (HollywoodTuna NSFW!)

Five fugliest celebabe magnets (Defamer)

I’d put Javier Bardem in that list. Am I alone? (Websters)

Amy Winehouse is shopping from that list (Celebitchy)

Gerard Butler plays rough with Jodie Foster (AgentBedhead)

Anonymous to Scientology: oh, it’s still on, bitches (Enturbulation)

Why is Sharon Stone wearing a maternity dress? (TheMeatScale)

The Lohan clan finally sours Popsugar’s sweetness (PopSugar)

Nicole Kidman lifts up her shirt. Did you ever think you’d read that? (Celebwarship)

Bai Ling cops one (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

The Pivert strikes again! (TheBlemish)

Girls Gone Wild porniste Joe Francis is going away for a looooong time (EvilBeet)

Vanity? Fair. Originality? Not so much (Mollygood)

Patrick Swayze smoked three packs a day? (PerezHilton)

Whoopi Goldberg says she owes the Oscar to Patrick Swayze (ImNotObsessed)

How about “No Entry in Rear?” (GoFugYourself)

Gene Simmons lectures Britney Spears (Celebritysmack)

Kelly Rowland does not understand the alphabet (CircusHour)

Some teenager you’ve never heard of declares she’s a virgin: no, it’s not closing time at TGIFriday’s, it’s a slow news day in Gossipland (DailyStab)

Patrick Swayze’s dismal diagnosis (Defamer)

The 5 best faces of Patrick Swayze in Ghost (BWE)

50 gayest songs of all time (SameSame)

Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz are dancing, but who’s the fool? (AgentBedhead)

Salma Hayek prefers boys. Sorry Penny! (Dlisted)

Catherine Zeta Jones has some body image issues (GabbyBabble)

Demi Moore allegedly does not? There’s no justice! (CelebritySmack)

Conflicted Matthew McConaughey designs the very t-shirts he spurns (E!)

The Amy Winehouse soap opera continues apace (Yeeeeah)

Mary-Kate Olsen better keep her monkey paws off mah mayun! (Star)

Daniel Radcliffe faces serious death threats, gets SAS guards (Celebitchy)

Shar Jackson sticks up for FedEx (Bossip)

The Anna Nicole Smith movie: words fail (JustJared)

Julia Roberts and Ozzy Osbourne? (Cityrag)

Smells like…Daddy’s concert! (CelebNewsWire)

Best comedy of the last 30 years is…a joke! (HolyMoly)

Lily Allen is hospitalized for depression (EvilBeet)

Ben Stiller is pumped, Robert Downey Jr is black. Huh? (DailyStab)