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Who Wore It Better: Celine Dion vs Angelina Jolie
One of these things is not like the other
Celine demonstrates the authentic, little-known Quebecois-Canadian Tuxedo technique, here incorrectly applied to an American Tuxedo. Vote below:
And now, let’s have a dashing Tuxedo Cocktail and a few stiff gossip links:
Paul Rudd, birthday boy (raincoaster)
Lindsay Lohan’s staple food (ManoloFood)
Carrie Fisher captures your captions! (Ayyyy)
Angelina not so Jolie (Lolebrity)
Beastie Boys have got to fight! for the right! to remake material from 20 years ago (AgentBedhead)
John Legend is my imaginary boyfriend even if he does love Adele and golf (BusyBeeBlogger)
Kate and William are bringing my invite in person (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Nicki Minaj is trying to muscle in on Carrie’s caption game (CelebritySmack)
Mandy Moore, the extreme closeup is NOT your friend (CelebVIPLounge)
Oregon: Greatest state or GREATEST STATE? (CityRag)
Keanu Reeves has big plans for your sex life (DailyStab)
Hugh Hefner takes a load off my mind (EarSucker)
Nicky Hilton appears to be chilly (FitFabCeleb)
Solange Knowles in: Who Invited HER? (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Pia J’adore (HaveUHeard)
Helen’s Magical Bosom (HollywoodHiccups)
Katherine Heigl is about to piss off the Knitting Lobby (INeedMyFix)
If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at who he gives it to (MathewGuiver)
Adele vs Britney (PoorBritney)
The Bride of Wildenstein lives! (PopBytes)
Hottest Male Athletes for your aesthetic appreciation (SwoonWorthy)
Kate Moss uses her mouth for something (TheSkinny)
Justin Bieber, keepin’ it teal (TheSkinnyChic)
Semantic Style
alexa chung is in no sense turned out
She must be studying yoga intensely;, it’s really rare to see anyone as completely “centered” as fashion diva Alexa Chung.
On that note, let’s toast todays perfectly centered gossip links with a perfectly symmetrical Cross-Eyed Skull Cocktail.
Animal Hats of the Rich and Famous (raincoaster)
Oh! Livia! (Ayyyy)
The Things I Do for You People! (ManoloFood)
Darth Vader, social media master of disaster (Lolebrity)
Is this part of an LRon approved diet? (AgentBedhead)
One less candidate for Celebrity Rehab (BusyBeeBlogger)
Playgirl, RPattz, and you already clicked this didn’t you? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
No, Kat, “WeHo” isn’t a descriptor. (CelebritySmack)
Ben Affleck might have a career after all (CelebrityVIPLounge)
Some traumas you never overcome (CityRag)
Kelly Clarkson assumes holding pattern (DailyStab)
Playgirl wants to bag a Silver Fox (EarSucker)
Grizzlies don’t whine! (FitFabCeleb)
Does pigeontoe cause crosseye, Alexa? (GirlsTalkinSmack)
JUSTIN! NOT IN PUBLIC!!! (HaveUHeard)
Rihanna untapped! (HollywoodHiccups)
Stern ‘n Sexy in Rolling Stone (INeedMyFix)
The “ugly bridesmaid dress” effect, with cheerleaders! (MathewGuiver)
Blogger busts Brit-Brit cherry (PoorBritney)
The family that rehabs together… (PopBytes)
Ellen Pompeo’s bizarre nipple situation (TheSkinny)
Wrap it or suck it, Ryan (TheSkinnyChic)
Arsenic and Old Leather and Lace
Lois Aldrin rocks the bedazzled Canadian Tuxedo
Yay! Look everybody: it’s Ayyyy favorite Lois Aldrin, with her trophy husband, Buzz. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, even if the eyes are getting farther and farther apart.
Toast Lois and her boytoy with a few Leather and Lace shooters. Lois would do a tray of these entirely hands-free, you know she would.
I’d be the filling in a Steve Jobs/Jeff Goldblum sandwich (Lolebrity)
The Lord of the Kingdom of the Undead does not approve of this floozy (Ayyyy)
Roundup of news from Japan (raincoaster)
Matthew McConaughey is turning into a greyhound before our eyes (AgentBedhead)
Joan Jett is better than RedBull (BusyBeeBlogger)
Olivia Wilde thinks she can upgrade from an Italian prince (CelebDirtyLaundry)
She looks like Crispin Glover in an Edith Prickley costume (CelebritySmack)
Lindsay Lohan will stop at nothing (CelebrityVIPLounge)
Charlie Sheen, Celebrity Chef? (DailyStab)
Disney is REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel (EarSucker)
They may be immortal, but they’re still not taking any chances (FitFabCeleb)
Scary clownceleb faces (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Celebrities care! Or at least fake it plausibly! (HaveUHeard)
The latest in celebrity injustices (HollywoodHiccups)
Tony Dunzo (INeedMyFix)
Justin Timberlake has a new plus one (MathewGuiver)
Martha Stewart is a surrogramma (TheSkinny)
Hump Day Hunk: Anarchy Edition: Julian Assange
What can I say? It’s Anarchy day.
See? A law-abiding seatbelt wearer
Also, I have a bit of a thing for plausible, real-world Bond villains. Why don’t you try to talk some sense into me over a couple of Vesper Martinis?
The Booze Reaper (Manolofood)
V for Vogue! (Ayyyy)
Dr Drew’s got 99 problems (Lolebrity)
James Bond in drag (raincoaster)
The latest has-been to pull a Joaquin Phoenix (AgentBedhead)
Hunk dumps troll (BusyBeeBlogger)
Thetans Strike Back! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
OMG a celebrity who’s clean? (CelebrityVIPLounge)
Mariah Carey’s night of mommyglamour (CelebritySmack)
But will she be naked or neurotically sweary? Enquiring minds want to know (DailyStab)
Appearing on FunnyOrDie is not “Winning” (EarSucker)
Robert Pattinson run off the road (FitFabCeleb)
Arwen vs Kanye (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Latest Awful Celebrity Couple (HaveUHeard)
Putting the “hipster” in “Vampire” (HollywoodHiccups)
I guess I’m not getting that job then (INeedMyFix)
Brad, those shades are the Pitts (MathewGuiver)
Britney vs Bullies (PoorBritney)
Theft tapes are the new sex tapes (TheSkinnyChic)
Tiger Blood Cocktail Links
Diddy? Oh yes he DID!
Are you WINNING? Diddy sure is, and PWNING too. BOOM!
RIP OD (CelebritySmack)
REM RT (CelebrityVIPLounge)
WINNING! photoshops (CityRag)
SO FAR, Demi. So far… (DailyStab)
Adele is pro-gossip (DippedInCream)
Everybody but me has a book deal and a sex tape (EarSucker)
Three planets that size make a solar plexus system (FitFabCeleb)
Remember Lily Allen? (GirlsTalkinSmack)
One gets Africa, one gets New York? (HaveUHeard)
Aw man, don’t bling that thing! (HollywoodHiccups)
They have country music in Belgium? (INeedMyFix)
Roseanne Barr and Charlie Sheen? (MathewGuiver)
KFed/FedX Xpands (PoorBritney)
“Country Music’s newest star” (PopBytes)
TURBAN SIGHTING!!! (TheSkinny)
Bikini baby bump (TheSkinnyChic)
No, wait, don’t tell me
They forced themselves to get epically stoned in Home Ec class
Her name is Dorit?
For extra credit, compare and contrast.
