Ayyyy!

The Hoff hassled to the tune of $25,000 per month Hasselmony (USAToday)

Vince Vaughn is the Flabby Flasher of Griffith Park (CelebSlam)

Akon guilty of criminal assault on the truth with intent to blow smoke up your ass (AgentBedhead)

Hollywood selling out (no, that’s not a tautology) (Derober)

The jailbird diaries of Pete Doherty (HolyMoly)

Britney’s Total Fitness? Somewhere between couch potato and Basset Hound (TheBlemish)

America’s Next Top Flight Attendant? (IBBB)

Gossip Wars: attack of the necroporn pimps! (Defamer)

Who is this “Dalai Lama” of whom you speak? (Gawker)

Scientology vs the Little Guy, round N+1 (XenuTV)

Naomi Campbell shuts barn door, gazes wistfully after horse (CelebritySmack)

Get M-K O’s look! Then, presumably, get much-needed corrective lenses (CircusHour)

Ashlee Simpson just isn’t worth it (DListed)

Cameron Diaz issues statement about the death of her father (CeleBitchy)

Johnny Depp will never work with Renee Zellweger again as long as he lives (DailyStab)

Blake, Incarcerated, Forgotten (TheSun)

Scarface (GabbyBabble)

Putin’s poontang  (BittenAndBound)

Victoria Beckham’s Pink Taco is 34? (JustJared)

The Hoff knows the mighty power of an 8 1/2 by 11 (Defamer)

Kimberly Stewart wears possibly the ugliest shoes the universe has ever seen (TheRadReport)

Katie needs a raise! (BittenAndBound)

Lindsay Lohan will NOT assume the missionary position (Yeeeeah)

David Beckham says his prayers (TheBlemish)

Jennifer Aniston’s Miss Havisham decorating scheme (POTP)

A little bit country, a little bit hip-hop, a LOT batshiat insane (ImNotObsessed)

Kelly Osborne, unmasked! (LARagMag)

Gentlemen, start your engines: Emma Watson is legal (Derober)

Tom Cruise will do anything for Becks, even endure soccer (DailyStab)

Mary-Kate Olsen celebrates New Year’s in April. Also, apparently, Halloween (JustJared)

Britney’s comeback plan (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Pete Doherty maintains personal hygiene in prison  (AgentBedhead)

Brangelina is a contraceptive (CeleBitchy)

Shirley Manson is a grown-up (CelebritySmack)

Tilda Swinton just as strange as imagined (CircusHour)

Liveblogging Sex with Sue (CandyKirby)

Gwyneth Paltrow is an alien (GoFugYourself)

RIP PawPaw (Gawker)

Pete’s in the pokey (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse is a wigger (Yeeeeah)

Wigger, please. Benji Madden’s blackface birthday (ImNotObsessed)

Top Ten most hated people on the internet (Radar)

Stars in their eyes, parole in their futures: top 25 child stars (Defamer)

Nobody puts Swayze in the corner (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise’s Village People connection (HollywoodOffender)

Naomi Campbell is black, beautiful, bitchy, and banned (TheBlemish)

Bai Ling is Grand Fug Champion, 2008 (GoFugYourself)

War of the Worlds 2 starring John Travolta and not at all insane Tom Cruise (CelebritySmack)

Christina Aguilera’s peeled pool party profanity (GenosWorld)

Jessica Simpson finds her dream man (Websters)

The inexorable return of Corey Haim (SeriouslyOMG)

90210 2.0 (CircusHour)

I Ken Lee: a YouTube superstar is born (TheManolo)

Brian Atene: a YouTube superstar returns (YouTube)

Kate Beckinsale’s Kiefer Sutherland fantasy (DailyStab)

David Beckham has been a bad, bad boy (JustJared)

I lost a bet! (TheBlemish)

Seal (angrily) seeks bukkit (GabbyBabble)

Who wore it best: Nicky Hilton or your grandma’s parlour? (CircusHour)

Oprah’s image in a million little pieces (Defamer)

Boondock Saints resurrected (AgentBedhead)

Survivor Micronesia recap–Help fight Ostenoperosis (RealityTVTalk)

South Park stops blaming Canada, starts blaming Britney instead (CelebritySmack)

Meet Kirstin Davis in person (GoneHollywood)

Liev Schreiber half nekkid! (JustJared)

Johnny Depp, shorn! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Demon Barber of Wilshire Blvd also attacks David Beckham (ASocialiteLife)

Scariest Celebrity Faces (Cityrag)

America’s Next Top Bitchfight (I’mBringingBloggingBack)

Winona Ryder can’t even afford to shoplift from Rodeo Drive anymore! (Celebitchy)

Shia LaBoeuf pleads not guilty to charge of being smokin’ hot (Popsugar)

Hannah Montana is killing babies! (Ecorazzi)

Kate Moss dances on Jim Morrison’s grave (HollywoodRag)

Charlize Theron’s zygotes are ready for action (ImNotObsessed)

The Mariah Carey Purity Quiz (PollsBoutique)

Suicide chez Mel Gibson (DailyStab)

Orlando Bloom is extreme (Fitceleb)

George Clooney’s manhood-enhancing cosmetic surgery (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The Butterscotch Stallion cannot outrun the consequences of his hotness (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse possessed by demons! (AgentBedhead)

The many faces of Tracey Ullman (Popbytes)

A day in the life of batshiat Britney (Celebitchy)

Nicole Kidman is not nocturnal, nor is she possessed of leathery wings? (WWTDD)

She is, however, visibly different from 20th Century Nicole Kidman (TressedOutCelebs)

Kanye’s girfriend decides he’s still too annoying to marry (Bossip)

Charlie Sheen to appear in his underwear? (ICYDK)

Amy Winehouse is Amy Winehouse’s Dad’s fault (HollywoodRag)

James Gandolfini hospitalized (CelebritySmack)

John Mayer is a pillhead (AllieIsWired)

Celebrity sex dolls (Radar)

Top ten fake celebrity blogs (Gawker)

Posh and Becks are leaving us because we just don’t love them enough. Kidding! (Mollygood)

George Clooney in Darfur (Popsugar)

One we could live without (DailyStab)

Has Sheryl Crow gone Scientologist? (PerezHilton)

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden buy a NYC condo (ImNotObsessed)

Iggy Pop knows you want him (GoFugYourself)

Best Chest Dressed: the nominees (Defamer)

Last year’s party monsters: this year’s sofa-bound popcorn munchers (Gawker)

Kate Moss will give the Proletariat the shirt off her back (AgentBedhead)

Mmmmmmmm, Johnny Depppppp….prit-tay! (Celebitchy)

Moobs! Mooooooooooobs! (Cityrag)

Amy Winehouse is no commando (Yeeeeah)

Angelina Jolie fainted again (Gabsmash)

Joan Rivers will draw blood (GlitteratiGossip)

Jennifer Lopez is the hardest-working mama in showbiz (CircusHour)

Dr. McDreamy is Versace Man! (PopSugar)

Sex and the City and the Poster and the Trailer (CelebritySmack)

Heath Ledger’s final image (HollywoodBackwash)

George Clooney is a thin-lipped Jelly Belly (DailyStab)

Britney Spears is the $22million dollar woman (HolyMoly)

Paris Hilton airs out the arm pubes (LARagMag)

Aaron Carter jailed! (WeLoveCelebs)

Natalie Portman wants to get nekkid (IDLYITW)

GEORGE CLOONEY IS WORLD’S MOST ADORABLE ADULT HUMAN (Mollygood)

Jenna Fischer’s paparazzi frenzy (JustJared)

Tom Cruise is shrinking! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Tom Cruise is subdued at the Saggies (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise’s Wehrmacht ID (FrontierEditor)

John Travolta checks out the competition (Defamer)

Did you know: Without Scientology, you’re dead! (Mollygood)

Teh LOLcats h8 Scientology (raincoaster)

Amy Winehouse’s widower-to-be can hardly wait! (CelebritySmack)

Worst-dressed at the SAGGIES (Yeeeeah)

Pete Doherty loves teh kittehs (Dlisted)

Justin Timberlake is bringing the Ewok back (DerekHail)

Beckham’s boyzilian (Towelroad)

Perennially Possibly Pregnant Angie rocks the muumuu (TheBlemish)

Certifiably Insane Bjork rocks the Marushka Doll in Vegas look (BestWeekEver)

Debra Messing rocks like an Egyptian (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is hard-partying, baby-making (CelebWarship)

Kiefer! Kiefer! Kiefer! Donald! Donald! Donald! (Celebitchy)

Paris Hilton goes to a lesbian club, leaves with Brittney Gastineau (EvilBeet)

Kate Beckinsale’s pussy was on fire (HolyCandy)

Hayden Panettiere saves the whales! (ImNotObsessed)

Mischa Barton brings a Yeti back from Sundance (DailyStab)

New Kids On The starting Block? Or Not? (PerezHilton)

Your gossip blog unicorn chaser: St. George the Divine (GoFugYourself)

Woody Allen kills himbos’ careers stone dead! (AgentBedhead)

Angelina Jolie makes up with Jon Voight (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise, failed babydaddy (ContactMusic)

Natalie Portman is the vegan Louboutin! (CelebritySmack)

Britney’s New Year’s miracle! (Dlisted)

Johnny Depp is richer than a pirate (DailyStab)

Harry Potter and the Bar Mitzvah of Secrecy (Defamer)

Lindsay Lohan’s Champagne wishes become Champagne reality (TMZ)

Late night tv goes mano-a-mano-a-mano-a-Jimmy Kimmel (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Smells like … Becks! (EvilBeet)

Lindsay Lohan, platinum panhandler (Mollygood)

Get into Gary Coleman’s pants! (ICYDK)

Mena Suvari debuts a bowl cut (ImNotObsessed)

Carrie Underwood bows to the power of sequins (GoFugYourself)

Reese Witherspoon demonstrates impeccable taste again (HolyCandy)

Kiefer Sutherland 2.0? (PerezHilton)

Hunk Jackman and his kids at the park (TheMeatScale)

Blogger posts from beyond the grave! (Gawker)

Free the Bud movement achieves victory! (WOWReport)

Kate Moss’s New Years Doherty drama! (ShowbizSpy)

Dane Cook, Marathon Man! (WendyWayrad)

Britney Spears dumped again! (GabbyBabble)

Jamie-Lynn Spears almost loses her talking point! (Popcrunch)

The Spears Family’s gift to parenting! (Radar)

Lindsay Lohan loves the moobs! (TheMeatScale)

Kabuki Spice and David Baldham! (ASocialitesLife)

Katherine Heigl’s wedding photos! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Kate Moss is big in Japan! (PopSugar)

Beyonce beats Kanye East, West, North and South! (PerezHilton)

Public donations of the rich and famous! (Mollygood)

Beauty queen mugshot makes all of us feel a little better about ourselves! (Dlisted)

Jessica Simpson is making a country comeback! (ImNotObsessed)

Kim Kardashian puts the ass in klass! (HolyCandy)

Katie Holmes and Christina Aguilera will be working moms soon! (DailyStab)

Lily Allen’s spermination turned her into Audrey Hepburn! (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse has a prison date this Friday! (CelebritySmack)

Although not from farmer stock, Victoria Beckham knows enough about agricultural equipment and heavy machinery to describe her husband’s more salient qualities:

Victoria Beckham has claimed that her husband didn’t have his manhood digitally enhanced for a recent underwear ad campaign.The Spice Girl insists that the bulge in the Emporio Armani advert is genuine and that his equipment is similar to a “tractor exhaust pipe”.

She is quoted as saying: “I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion. He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!”

And speaking of bodily protrusions, it looks like David isn’t the only one in the marriage with a natural bulge either.

50 most powerful celebrity babies (Defamer)

Don’t hassel the Hoff: he’s back in rehab! (CeleBitchy)

Prince Harry, prince of hearts (or certain organs, anyway) (Jezebel)

Adrian Grenier, volunteer, plus one (Websters)

No Wii for Paula Abdul! (Yeeeeah)

Katie Holmes shares Tom Cruise’s turn-ons. Travolta unavailable for comment? (Fox)

Toni Collette, still pregnant, sporting Spanish moss disguise (TheMeatScale)

Samantha Ronson makes Perez Hilton look good (PrettyBoring)

Jessica Simpson is big in Texas. Wow, so it’s true! (ASocialitesLife)

Jennifer Aniston uses hankie! (HollywoodRag)

ICANHAZINAPPROPRIATELOLZ? (BestWeekEver)

They tried to make her go to rehab and she said “Soon, soon, soon.” (Mollygood)

Bai Ling gets her picture taken with Santa (DListed)

The Beckham family rocks the Cobain family look (PopSugar)

Victoria shows off the new funbags (HollywoodTuna)

Graffiti holy grail found in NYC (CityRag)

Winona Ryder sex tape shocker (raincoaster)

VH1 makes ‘em, breaks ‘em. NEXT! (CelebritySmack)

Tori Amos tosses fit, cellphone chatters, mid-song (YouTube)

You stay classy, David Gest (HolyCandy)

You stay classy, Hugh Grant! (ImNotObsessed)

Britney’s sick. Big surprise there. (US)

Rosie O’Donnell, American Gladiator? (AgentBedhead) (does this deserve the Athletes tag?)

Hugh Grant’s harem of hookers (OrderOrder)

James Frey steals Yoko Ono’s lunchbox (Gawker)

Paris Hilton tends to Oompa-Loompa injured in chaw riot (Defamer)

The Hoff attempts to save Rumer Willis (TheMeatScale)

The problem with Pete Doherty’s crotch (AgentBedhead)

Janice Dickinson thinks Tyra Banks is a fattie (BricksAndStones)

Scott Baio is married. Let the mourning begin! (CeleBitchy)

Arnold Schwarzenegger can’t get his kids to dress up for church either (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Michael Jackson, brought to you by Photoshop! (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Pete Doherty turns down drugs, gets beaten up by dealer (HolyMoly)

Put some pants on, girl! (CelebritySmack)

The Spice Girls fail to sell out. Who can believe it? (WWTDD)

Shutters close on Lindsay Lohan (Yeeeeah)

Will Smith is no legend in China (DailyStab)

The hallowed tradition of the Britney Frappuccino Run might be in danger (TOB)

Britney’s secret YouTube addiction (HolyCandy)

David Beckham’s underwear ad: now I know what I want for Christmas! (BittenAndBound)

Hunky Santa (LettersFromTheSoul)

Cindy Crawford sticks up for Jennifer Love Hewitt’s butt (TVCrunch)

Will Smith gets his Hollywood star (GabbyBabble)

Amy Winehouse fails to get into prison (Dlisted)

KFed’s got a sweet ride (EvilBeet)

David Beckham makes house calls! (ImNotObsessed)