Ayyyy!

Ah, after all these years, what has not already been said about the protean talents of hottie and character actor Colin Farrell? Remember the time LiLo gave him her phone number in the gym? And he asked her how old she was? And she said seventeen? And he handed the card back and said call me in a year? and she did? And the rest is (medical) history?

He didn’t look like this back then:

Yes, it’s Colin “hottest fry cook in the chip wagon” Farrell, the pride of Dublin. Actually, given how drastically Lindsay’s gone downhill in the last year, he’s probably out of her league now, however much he might try to tone down teh sex-ay.

And believe me, he’s trying.

So Colin, what do you think of Bruges? (NSFW language, unless you work as a blogger, in which case at least be sure the people in the cafe can’t hear this)

Sure, blondes have more fun, but does she LOOK like a girl who likes to have fun? (AgentBedhead)

There IS justice in the world (AmyGrindhouse)

Kendra Wilkinson a FAR better actress than anyone suspected (BusyBeeBlogger)

If nomenclature and PR couldn’t keep these guys together, what hope IS there? (CelebritySmack)

Topless hunks in headless story (PopSugar)

Vampires: they’re JUST like us! (Lainey)

Van spawns MINI-Van (DListed)

Buh-BYE, Ty-Ty! (DailyStab)

PETA’s pet peeves (CeleBitchy)

MUST-see tv (Gawker)

Brit is BROWN! (EvilBeet)

Lindsay’s found her CALLING (HolyCandy)

Rapist sues over label; still fine with DOUCHE tho (LitelySalted)

Homeless couple spotted with ADORABLE children (GabbyBabble)

MALFOY in MIAMI! (INO)

Charlie Sheen’s Christmas CARDED (JustJared)

The AVATAR Holiday Special! (Movieline)

Mariah CARRY! (SeriouslyOMG)

Beckham’s BACK! (PopBytes)

Looks like someone isn’t afraid of catching pneumonia in these wintry conditions. Do you think it has anything to do with having a non-human respiratory system?

Today there was a big, scary yellow thing in the sky. Someone said it was something they’d had in Alberta as a child, but I’d never seen it before in Vancouver. Someone else said it emitted harmful radiation and we should all take cover. I took her advice, took off, took cover, and took solace in a fine merlot from a friend. What are you taking?

The latest trend in Wall Street downsizing (Jossip)

Run DMC this way to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Hudson goes back to work (AmyGrindhouse)

Amy Winehouse limbers up for a long day of getting drunk (CeleBitchy)

MacBecks, the opera (HolyMoly)

A day without Bobby Trendy is like… (CelebritySmack)

BAFTA nominations announced (UKPopSugar)

Have YOU been infected by Paris Hilton? (DailyStab)

Paula Abdul’s bondage bodice (DanasDirt)

RIP Ricardo Montalban (Defamer)

Kelly Rutherford’s divorce gets dark (GabbyBabble)

Victoria Beckham in someone else’s underwear (EvilBeet)

Morgan Freeman wants to know if you have a problem with it? (CandyKirby)

Harriet Carter Beauty Wednesday (IBBB)

Sienna Miller apparently on the Courtney Love diet (JustJared)

Before They Were Famous: Simon Cowell (SeriouslyOMG)

Oprah loves Kate’s Golden Globes (ASL)

Cam vs Drew? (Websters)

Probably the most obscure link challenge ever, barring the one CelebritySmack did entirely in pictures. Couldn’t touch that one! Our theme: the Cthulhu Mythos literary works of the late Howard Phillips Lovecraft, y’all!

Cthluhupalooza is coming! Hang on to your sanity! (Cthulhupalooza)

Jennifer Aniston’s uterus to remain in mint condition (CelebWarship)

Blogging the unmentionable John Malkovich (AgentBedhead)

Jewel puts the “try” in Country Music (CeleBitchy)

IT’S INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY, BITCHES! (Capslockday)

Acolyte robes for your Junior Star Chamber member (Pregotastic)

When the Great Old Ones fight, your vintage sitcoms suffer (Defamer)

Dear Gary Busey, it’s “freebasing” not “debasing” (DailyStab)

Hollywood stars are swimming in mortality soup (CelebritySmack)

Karl Lagerfeld sells his soul (FakeKarl)

Katie Holmes wears the Fangs of Xenu (DListed)

Paris Hilton buys a used den of iniquity (HollywoodRag)

Sarah Jessica Parker Dexter Ward has a portrait in her attic that’s getting younger and sexier (IDLYITW)

The Ancient One speaks! (EvilBeet)

The Statement of Harriet Carter (IBBB)

The very batrachian Beckham can catch flies up to 15 feet away! (JustJared)

Karl still Roves. Where are the villagers with pitchforks? (Radar)

Snakes on a Dame! (CandyKirby)

The Necronomicon of celebrity makeovers (OhNoTheyDidnt)

Grace Jones is from another planet, where they don’t have physics or gravity (OMGBlog) (NentirelySFW)

Presidential debate drinking games (Buzzfeed)

Katy Perry is the hardest-working fake lesbian in show business (AgentBedhead)

Bruno storms Fashion Week Milan! (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse, Berkeley Square Ball buster! (CeleBitchy)

Blaaaaaaaaake, Incarcerated in his mom’s basement (HolyMoly)

Chuck Norris thinks John McCain will die soon (DailyStab)

Sarah Palin “displays her leadership” in the swimsuit competition (Defamer)

Iggy Pop in Crocs (DListed)

John McCain has a time machine! (Gawker)

The Four Amigos of Anorexia (CandyKirby)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (IBBB)

Christina Aguilera’s lipstick rocks the vote, nearly melts the camera lenses (EvilBeet)

Karl schools the teenage fashionistas (FakeKarl)

Pussycat Dolls putting the “tart” in tartan (GoFugYourself)

Britney’s new look is a Lulu (Websters)

Colbert and Stewart and Michelle and Barack (BWE)

Rob Lowe slays the birds (SeriouslyOMG)

Beckhams in boots (PopSugar)

Are Tinsley and Topper toast? (Radar)

Oprah puts Tom Cruise’s foot in her mouth (AgentBedhead)

Air Sex CSI? (CandyKirby)

The secret shame of Michael Phelps (DListed)

Phoebie Price wins one! (CeleBitchy)

Shanna Moakler speaks out about the plane crash (CelebritySmack)

Meet the LizardMan! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The award for best pop video of all time goes to… (DailyStab)

Richest Congressmen (Jossip)

Does Simon Cowell make you randy, baby? (ImNotObsessed)

Top five Emmy quotes (PopSugar)

Gwyneth Paltrow cooks all her own food, employs macrobiotic chef presumably just to keep him off welfare (JustJared)

Josh Groban: laughingstock or genius? (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper’s secret drag show cabaret shame (Gawker)

ZOMG Perez Hilton has a ghostwriter??? (EvilBeet)

The Jamie Lynn Spears porn investigation is NOT what you think (CelebrityBabyScoop)

VOTE CLORIS!!!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

Jeremy Piven bites the hand that feeds (GabbyBabble)

The David Beckham Beefcake Calendar for 2009! (PopBytes)

Bundle the wee ones off to school and relax with a Back to School Martini and some wholesome gossip links.

Steve Jobs is IMMORTAL! (Lolebrity)

The femullet is BACK! (JustJared)

Naomi Campbell is ovulating: everybody PANIC! (BlackCelebrityKids)

Boy’s gone FIRED! (Websters)

David Beckham is MASSIVE! (CeleBitchy)

Has Sarah Palin been PEELED? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Sarah Palin is 100% PLASTIC! (UsMagazine)

Pete Wentz plays Russian Roulette and guess what? We ALL LOSE! (CelebritySmack)

Get into Michael Jackson’s PANTS! (DailyStab)

Megan McCain wants to go to IRAQ! (Mollygood)

Scientology gets SCHOOLED! (AgentBedhead)

Dakota Fanning is BACK! (Defamer)

Sleep with a MORMON! (Gawker)

It’s a Jessica Simpson OMEN! (DListed)

The Banksy World Tour hits Birmingham’s KKK! (Raincoaster)

Lindsay Lohan is REAL! (EvilBeet)

It’s Hugh Grant’s birthday: PARTY! (UKPopsugar)

What’s this I hear about a four-day weekend? Outrageous rumours!

Steve Jobs sez: OBITUATE DIFFERENT! (Lolebrity)

The weirdest Japfro you’ll ever see! (CelebuWreck)

Face it: Michael Jackson is 50 (PopEater)

Pamela Anderson is Botox-free (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Caligula’s horse speaks! (DailyMail)

Tricia Yearwood has instant karma (CelebrityDirt)

When Canadians Attack! Jessica Simpson! (Websters)

The Mandala of Madge’s vadge (CityRag)

Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey sitting in a tree… (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Ewan McGregor vs Gavin Rossdale (TeenyManolo)

The Hillary kerfuffle (disembedded)

Obama’s acceptance speech (FoodPlusPolitics)

Jesus appears on an insect! (Membracid)

David Beckham is afraid of turning into Homer Simpson (CeleBitchy)

The 12-step recovery plan for David Duchovny (BestWeekEver)

Aaron Sorkin will Friend you (Valleywag)

The Collected Facebook Status Updates of Aaron Sorkin (Vulture)

Madonna goes Howard Hughes on us (SeriouslyOMG)

Singer’s uncle off to Sing-Sing (ICYDK)

I will NOT use the headline “Sarah Palin tapped by McCain”!!! (CitizenSugar)

Lindsay Lohan takes a shot at the gold medal (HolyMoly)

Carrie Underwood might have to settle for silver (DailyStab)

Jeremy Piven can’t keep a civil tongue in his head (ImNotObsessed)

No, he really can’t: the collected rants of Jeremy Piven (Defamer)

Blind Item Roundup! (Gawker)

Solange Knowles bans the Big B (CelebritySmack)

The Broony Bromance (CandyKirby)