Shia LaBruised recovers from cougar attack (Defamer)

Golden Girl, you are not so Golden (BusyBee)

The first rule of Aloe Vera Club is… (AgentBedhead)

The Hoff is an EMPEROR! (CeleBitchy)

Kelly Osbourne has a black eye (CelebritySmack)

Your Daily Kiefer (DailyStab)(Sigh)

Tequila: Lost, but not forgotten (Defamer)

How can we be lovers if we can’t be Nicolette Sheridan Friends (DListed)

Britney spends time with her tots (GabbyBabble)

Top 10 Beauties (CandyKirby)

Ben Affleck is outward bound (PopSugar)

The political also-ran catfight. What the hell: there isn’t anything else on. (CNN)

Been that kind of day. Gossip blog linkination, take me away!

(low standards, I know, I know)

Princess Beatrice duz not has British Teeth! (Lolebrity)

Henry Rollins thinks you’re a twit! (AgentBedhead)

Save the Cheerleader’s Undergotchies! (DailyStab)

Drink beer to become as smart as Jessica Simpson (CelebritySmack)

Get your hands on Matthew McConaughey’s Hook ‘Em Horns (SeriouslyOMG)

Mini Me, Maxi Media (CelebuWreck)

Matt Damon re-dads (CeleBitchy)

Be Nicole Richie’s slave! (BricksAndStones)

Now we know where Cher gets her wigs (IBBB)

Enter HoffSpace! (TheBlemish)

Ricky Martin: Livin La Vida Breeder? (CandyKirby)

This could be the greatest British comedy show ever (UKPopsugar)

Angie Harmon expecting (ImNotObsessed)

The Michael Phelps/Amanda Beard drinking game (ItsCandyTV)

The Legend of Spaghetti Cat (Mollygood)

Harry Potter had “a lot of fun” with Lavender Brown (JustJared)

The love triangle that ate the internet (Radar)

Liveblogging Project Runway (Gawker)

The Periodic Table of Awesoments (TheDapperstache)

Will this performance save Tom Cruise’s careeer? (Defamer)

David Hasselhoff stars in It Came from the D-List! (Lolebrity)

Zac Efron in Three’s Company (MikeyMars)

Matt Damon and Brad Pitt in Celebrity Dad Faceoff (TeenyManolo)

Gossip Blogger in My So-Called Life (raincoaster)

The Young and the Wasted: The Gawker 20 (Gawker)

The Spice Girls star in The (Gilded) Birdcage (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Garner in The Family Way (CelebritySmack)

Method Man in The Man Who Fell to Earth (POTP)

Nicole Kidman in Heaven (CelebWarship)

Salma Hayek makes a triumphant return in The Single Life (DailyStab)

Corey vs Corey (Defamer)

Michael Lohan Jr in Continent (CandyKirby)

Revenge of the Unfairly Slandered Tomatoes! (IBBB)

Britney and KFed in Agreement (ImNotObsessed)

The Dark Knight in Box Office Boffo! (JustJared)

Flavor Flav in Articulate (Mollygood)

Kelly Osbourne in Stripes (UKPopsugar)

Ashanti in Chintz (Crunk&Disorderly)

Matthew McConaughey in Better Late Than Never (CeleBitchy)

Blaaaaaaaaake in Carcerated! (DListed)

Hoo hyerd Amy Winehouse 4 “babbysittur?” (Lolebrity)

Matt Damon = “Ned Flanders?” Must be seen to be believed! (Websters)

Britney looks, behaves, “almost” like a normal person (ASL)

“It’s SIR Salman to you biotches now!” (WizbangPop)

“Teh gheys” are hot for Frodo (Radar)

Is Colin Farrell Minnie Driver’s “babydaddy?” (CeleBitchy)

Justin Timberlake neglects hygene “down below” (UKPopsugar)

Sean Avery learns why they call it a “promotion” (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Brooke Hogan’s butt is “an old car” (CelebritySmack)

File under “no surprise:” Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen kids are in therapy (ImNotObsessed)

Solange looks “interesting” don’t you think? (CandyKirby)

“The Hoff” is hurting! (DailyStab)

“Mulder and Scully” smack down the lone remaining G&R fan (AgentBedhead)

“Rumble” in Malibu II! (Defamer)

Sherri Sheppard is a “big” fan of Chippendales (Crunk+Disorderly)

Drew Lachey is a “Patsy” (JustJared)

Buy-buy, Guy and Alliteration Challenge! (CelebritySmack)

Vader parader (Lolebrity)

David Hasselhoff is the King of the Internets! (AgentBedhead)

Colin Farrell could use some mash with that banger (Derober)

Corey HaimFeldman not feltup by MJ (CeleBitchy)

Boris Becker breeds with Barbara (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Locklear locked up (SeriouslyOMG)

Phoebie Price’s puckered posterior (DListed)

Ben has Boston on the brain, Hawaii in his heart (PopSugar)

World’s worst winner (Mollygood)

Efron fragrant sez friend (ImNotObsessed)

Nixon nixes bigger boobs (POTP)

Brendan balding (Websters)

Alicia Silverstone’s fart-free fidos (AllieIsWired)

Sienna Miller forced to sport falsies (GabbyBabble)

Snoop Dogg goes after country (DailyStab)

Jack Bauer for twenty-two hours (Defamer)

Four more 4/4′s! (FourFour)

What, Watts? (CandyKirby)

Heidi, ho (IBBB)

Bundchen brings back Brazil (JustJared)

Paris Hilton and The Pope star in: The Odd Couple (AgentBedhead)(link challenger)

Steve Guttenberg ar not haz-bean! (Lolebrity)

Marcrida Patterson in When Underwear Attacks! (CelebritySmack)

Taco Bell presents 50 Cent in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (DailyStab)

Desperate Craigslister in Bringing Up Baby (CandyKirby)

Eddie Murphy in Daddy Daycare! Oh, he already was? (ImNotObsessed)

Will Smith in…WHAT????? (SeriouslyOMG)

Amy Winehouse in The Hospital (Mollygood)

Meg Ryan in The Time Machine (IBBB)

My Fair Fugly (GoFugYourself)

Jamie-Lynn Spears in Labour Pains! (Websters)

Jamie-Lynn’s babydaddy in Pun Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (PerezHilton)

David Beckham in The Illusionist (Yeeeeah)

The five unsexiest movies about sex (Spout)

Charlotte Church in The Club (CelebWarship)

Piers Morgan in Gold Diggers of 2008 (CeleBitchy)

Britney Spears(?) and David Hasselhoff in Bosom Buddies (GenosWorld)

Miley Cyrus is Electra Woman for the 21st Century! (Celebuwreck)

Speaking of “parent issues:” Michael Jackson Comeback Threat Alert Red (CelebSlam)

Gwyneth Paltrow is only ever Gwyneth Paltrow, even when it costs other people a fortune (CeleBitchy)

Gwyneth Paltrow pulls a Miley Cyrus, twenty years later (NOTW)

Amy Poehler will be a good Baby Mama (Derober)

Why Miley Cyrus’ overexposure is all Annie Leibovitz’s fault (Gawker)

TR Knight brings GLAAD tidings politicians don’t want to hear (E!)

Celebrity beverages. Must be of legal age or, presumably, on an Annie Leibovitz shoot (Jossip)

Annie Leibovitz is sorry we all misunderstood the naked fifteen-year-old “art” (WendyWayrad)

Battle of the B-Movie Directors (AgentBedhead)

Miley Cyrus just wants to make you happy (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Kirk Douglas defends the olds (Defamer)

John Travolta sez: looking like a porn star is not just for kids anymore! (Yeeeeah)

In sexually-exploited-former-child-star news: Britney sane enough to reprise HIMYM role (Dlisted)

Slash’s kids keep their clothes and their attitude ON, baby! (SeriouslyOMG)

Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are so money, yet lack cabfare? (PopSugar)

Beyonce and Jay-Z have good old-fashioned values (HolyMoly)

Meanwhile, 15-year-old with longest odds actually turning out classy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Miley Cyrus is a budding Annie Leibovitz herself (CelebritySmack)

Pamela Anderson works hard for PETA, does not know what you mean by “cognitive dissonance” (PopBytes)

Is the Hoff old enough to be dating EVE HERSELF??? (ImNotObsessed)

Meet Your Master: New Nine Inch Nails single free for download tonight (TheRadReport)

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

Every day, every one, is exactly the same to Karl Lagerfeld (Gawker)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

The line begins to blur: Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare  (Metaquotes)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jessica Simpson’s ringfinger/finger ringer? (IBBB)

Guns ‘n Roses’ terrible (eternal) lie (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Connor Cruise doesn’t bite the hand that feeds (JustJared)

Head has, like, a hole: The Hoff has eye surgery (HolyMoly)