Funny, I wouldn’t have called her a dog, but I guess her new boyfriend is a furry. Wash that picture out of your mind with a couple of tall Salty Dog cocktails and enjoy your gossip links.

Happy Halloween from 1928 (raincoaster)
This Bear Jew takes no prisoners (Lolebrity)
How to dispose of the body (ManoloFood)
US now exporting celebrity wingnuts (CelebrityBeehive)
Crocman stalks Hollywood! (Ayyyy)
Shirley Manson recycles Garbage (AgentBedhead)
Jason Statham is unsafe at any speed (BusyBeeBlogger)
Katy Perry has a bad case of Russell Brand (CeleBitchy)
If these two crazy kids can’t make it, then who can? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Cougar keeps her dog on leash for now (CelebritySmack)
Horrifying celebrity Halloween costumes (CojoStyle)
So that’s ONE blind item solved (DailyStab)
Beyonce returns from Sweden (EvilBeet)
The scent of revenge! (GabbyBabble)
Katy and Russell get even more bull (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Demi Moore tortures a child (GoFugYourself)
Kim Kardashian’s Halloween costume is definitely not a Treat (HaveUHeard)
Rihanna dresses up for Halloween (INeedMyFix)
Leo DiCaprio is going to be a serial killer (JustJared)
She has FANS? (PerezHilton)
The greatest musical triumph since Springtime for Hitler (PoorBritney)
Kristy McNichol is ageless (SeriouslyOMG)

What do you think? Can even the mighty powers of John Hamm make chinos and a plaid shirt dapper? I’m unconvinced. I think one or two Dirty Martinis would help me make up my mind, or at least blur my vision sufficiently to get over the Suburban Dad-ness of the ensemble.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link? Links for sale…lovely links for sale…

Emma Watson’s (filthy) dirty laundry (Lolebrity)
Dino and Diogenes (raincoaster)
Bieber in the gutter! (SeriouslyOMG)
Paris Hilton no longer a Wynner (RadarOnline)
Great news! We may soon fob Katy Perry off on the UK full-time! (UKPopSugar)
Even great news: More Bill & Ted! (PerezHilton)
The Justice League vs City Hall (Movieline)
White Collar Battery! (INeedMyFix)
Happy Birthday, Cameron Diaz! (HaveUHeard)
Seriously the worst Emmy outfit (GoFugYourself)
Demi Moore does Snoop Dogg (GabbyBabble)
Rihanna gets waxed (DailyStab)
Spicy is a Calendar Girl (CelebritySmack)
I’ll buy the first two, but not the third, Mister Lowe (CeleBitchy)
Get your hands on Stephen Moyer’s sock! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Kate Hudson is not slutty! She’s “open.” (BusyBeeBlogger)
Let’s all hate rich people! (AmyGrindhouse)
What next, Lil Kim’s Calvados? (AgentBedhead)

Thanks to a malfunction at Picapp, I’m not sure exactly who these people are, but given the news about Wayne Newton’s financial troubles (see farther down this post) I can only assume they’re some sort of Wayniac fund-raising team, perhaps busking on the street for pennies and francs to pay off creditors. All that fabulousness doesn’t come cheap!

Bums in Seats: the dollar value of celebrity bottoms (True/Slant)

The United States of Jay-Z (Lolebrity)

The Return of Reznor (AgentBedhead)

Diane Krueger has a past (LitelySalted)

Lady Gaga dares you to cross the line (AmyGrindhouse)

Hold the phone! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Nic Cage needs more than a tax shelter (CelebritySmack)

Dr Who homeless? (HolyMoly)

Betty White won’t do the casting couch (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Hot men: all you can eat! (CeleBitchy)

Nude jogging: doesn’t that hurt? (CrazyDays&Nights)

All About Eve 2.0 Nicole vs Selena (EvilBeet)

Sean Penn is such a charmer (GabbyBabble)

Bumpits hit the red carpet (GoFugYourself)

Demi Moore is immortal (INeedMyFix)

Jennifer Aniston is a total pro (IBBB)

Rihanna has found her perfect man (JustJared)

Jon Stewart gets lucky on Chatroulette (Movieline)

Johnny Depp? Or Keanu Reeves? (AccidentalSexiness)

Rootin’ Tootin’ Wayne Newton needs you, Wayniacs! (PerezHilton)

Green Lantern 3D (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Kate Moss vs Sienna Miller (UKPopSugar)

Charlie Sheen is rejected (RadarOnline)

Mickey Rourke overshare! (SeriouslyOMG)

Who the heck is Nikki Yanofsky? (TenGossip)

Overshare roundup (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

At last we learn the backstory to the shot herd ’round the world. Oh Snoop, we’ve all been there.

Claire Danes knows how to work a trenchcoat (Lolebrity)

Celebrities! They’re not like us! They can walk in these shoes! (CelebToast)

The best 404 message online (AgentBedhead)

Om Nom Nom WHA???? (AllieIsWired)

Brittany Murphy, Casey Johnson, Basic Health Rules laid to rest (AmyGrindhouse)

Demon in sheep’s clothing (BWE)

Anne Hathaway flips the bird (BricksAndStones)

Alexis for Alexis! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ooh La Little Girl Lingerie? (LaughingStork)

Kate, I think you dropped something (HolyMoly)

Sandra Bullock will cut a bitch (LitelySalted)

Forget Mischa Barton, try Carole Channing! (LaineyGossip)

Kristen Stewart in court for prostitution (TMZ)

Ralph Lauren snubs in public! (CelebrityMound)

Ellen for President? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Tom Brady’s 2-month-old can run??? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Oooh, ACDC MUST DIE!!!! (CeleBitchy)

Jay-Qui? (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Possibly the most terrifying headline I’ve ever read (CelebritySmack)

Kanye survives horrifying ordeal (CelebSlam)

Bublé‘s bongo bowl (CityRag)

Dennis Quaid’s farmer’s tan (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The Real BabyMamas of Atlanta (Crunk+Disorderly)

Brangelina lives! (DailyStab)

Paris has gone to the dogs (DanasDirt)

Nicknames of the literati (Gawker)

The return of PuppyBowl (DListed)

Betty White is terrifying (EvilBeet)

Small Wonder it was cancelled (FourFour)

Janet Jackson is a Janet Jackson impersonator (GabbyBabble)

Best Dressed/Worst Dressed at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)

Snooki’s makeover (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Qween no longer on Scene (INeedMyFix)

How Hugh Jackman rolls (HaveUHeard)

World’s most expensive benchwarmers (HollywoodBackwash)

Flack pointedly does NOT deny Paris Hilton is dumb (HollywoodRag)

Sniff Beyonce for $50 (HollywoodTuna)

KFat achieves self-awareness (ImNotObsessed)

Leif Garrett busted NOT A FLASHBACK TO 1975 (Janet CharltonsHollywood)

Virgins versus Texting! (JustJared)

PETA vs Avatar (Movieline)

Jessica Biel definitely not Jewish (FitCeleb)

Frances Bean taking singing lessons (PerezHilton)

Stock Anderson Cooper Adorable Story (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Russell Brand shoots, scores (UKPopSugar)

Jamaican Bobsled Team not so cool (WizBangPop)

Orlando Bloom is all wet (PopBytes)

Kelly Clarkson in flamewar (RadarOnline)

Re-Enchanted (SeriouslyOMG)

Tila says the butler didn’t do it (ASocialiteLife)

Conan O’Brien’s Valentine to Britney (SquareEyes)

Saffy, darling, are you slumming in this movie? (TenGossip)

John Mayer needs to take off the Wayfarers (TheBosh)

Mischa Barton wins Best Supporting Hose (TheSkinny)

ASHTON: Come on Demi, fix your hair, you’re looking like an absolute mess. I really wish you’d put a bit more effort into your appearance sometimes.

If you ask me, eggnog is the perfect breakfast food. You’ve got your eggs, your protein, your dairy, your fat, your… nog. And it’s even better with a shot of something in it, whether that be espresso or rum or all of the above, which reminds me of the time a woman at Starbucks asked me to make her a “tall, non-fat, non-dairy, no-egg eggnog latte.” To which I sensibly replied, “I’m sorry, we don’t have those, because God didn’t mean for them to exist.”

Not long after that I was given the opportunity to embark on a glamorous and rewarding career as a blogger!

The End of the World is Nigh! (AgentBedhead)

Britney hits the road (CelebWarship)

Britney can’t contain herself! (Yeeeeah)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck hates brown people, Catholics, Episcopalians, hippies, and internationally recognized thinkers (CeleBitchy)

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s daughter comes out (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

KFed’s shocking reality (CelebritySmack)

The imaginary must-read! (CityRag)

Matthew Broderick arrested??? (HolyMoly)

Anne Heche is working on replacing what she lost (DailyStab)

The role Jack Black was born to play! (AmyGrindhouse)

Priscilla Presley and David Archueleta in the May/December version of Twilight (DListed)

Nicole Kidman can work wonders with Christmas wrapping paper (EvilBeet)

Ben Affleck in: Celebrity Danger Dad! (HollywoodOffender)

Save NeNe! (CandyKirby)

That annual tradition: The 12 Days of Harriet Carter Christmas! (IBBB)

London goes dark for Twilight (UKPopSugar)

Grammy nominations are in! (PopBytes)

Jimmy Kimmel kills an old lady (SeriouslyOMG)

Here are the answers to Monday’s puzzle corner:
1. Christina Aguilera
2. Britney Spears
3. Jessica Alba
4. Halle Berry
5. Rebecca Romijn
6. Eva Herzigova
7. Elizabeth Hasselback
8. Monica Bellucci
9. Jenna Elfman
10. Marcia Cross

Congratulations to mini_pixie for a perfect score, closely followed by tellgrange! We release our colourful balloons enmasse in praise of your proficiency in pregnant celebrities. As your reward you may shed your clothes and participate in a suitably provocative Vanity Fair cover piece.

All famous actresses who are much gossiped about, but one of us has been cloned from a different Hollywood laboratory. Can you tell which one, dear readers?