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Dude looks like…another dude!

Steven Tyler's had a career change

Steven Tyler’s had a career change

We here at Ayyyy.com would like to congratulate showbiz legend Steven Tyler on his latest gig, playing stand up gigs along the Vegas strip in the character of now-fallen fashion icon John Galliano.

John Galliano defies you to finish that sentence

Hello. My Name is John Galliano. You keeled my career. Prepare to die!

Oh, Coco!

Karl Lagerfeld reportedly thinks that Coco Chanel would not have liked him. “I never bumped into Coco Chanel. It was better that way, she would have hated me,” he said to a rapt audience of students, none of whom were born when he took over designing for the House of Chanel. The changes he’s put in place to modernize the company and keep the designs fresh would have appalled and infuriated the irascible prot0-feminist founder. He added, “Some people say elegance is dead. They’re wrong. It has a new face.”

Miranda Kerr for Chanel

Miranda Kerr for Chanel

Dear Uncle Karl: That ain’t it.

PS, the face is up here!

Net Zero

Jlaw Dior net zero

Jlaw Dior net zero

It must be confessed, and that by me, that I have not been following the Hunger Games: not read the books, not seen the movies. And yet I am somewhat surprised to see the delightful and talented Jennifer Lawrence here at the premiere of the sequel, wearing what appears to be an Esther Williams swimming costume sheathed in a cover-up made of designer screen door netting. Is there a part of this movie where she dives deep and does duel with fearsome Grindylows to win for the greater glory of Griffindor?

Okay, no, wait. Don’t tell me. I’m liking this. Once I can figure out how to work in an 80′s era Patrick Duffy, I’m good with this. Don’t burst my bubble!

Mister Lawrence for Miss Dior

Jennifer Lawrence is just thrilled to be here

Jennifer Lawrence is just thrilled to be here

And here we have the lovely and talented Jennifer Lawrence, appearing for Miss Dior the fragrance, which is delicate, classic, young, and probably the scent your grandmother wore the night she lost her virginity (if she wasn’t the “Charlie” class). The House of Dior is one of the greatest design houses and is currently having a wonderful year both in terms of design and in terms of PR, having hung on to the beautiful and fragrant Natalie Portman and now snagged the hottest young woman in Hollywood to represent their most youth-appropriate fragrance.

So it is a mystery to me why they’ve done her up like a very expensive and sweaty butch barfly at last call, but they have. What is more heinous still is having the brass to release this photo in the US with a crappy crop job just to cut out the cigarette. If you’re going to go to such lengths to make something acceptable to the American market, do not simultaneously lower the quality by an order of magnitude, because we can, like, tell. It’s condescending, and it’s not as if it can’t be done well: the French version of Emma Watson’s Tresor Midnight Rose commercial had a cigarette in it; the American did not, but you don’t miss it and there is no visible hole where it was. If we’re going to have censorship in the name of bodily purity, let it at least be done well. At seventy bucks a bottle, it’s not like they can’t afford to pay someone competent.

Miss Dior

Madame Tussaud’s Finest Hour

MoneGASP! Royal Family.

MoneGASP! Royal Family.

Designer Karl Lagerfeld stares grimly at the latest exhibition in the House of Wax. Sure, he recognizes Princess Caroline and her brother, along with his corpse bride. And who doesn’t know Natalia Vodyanova, even in that ghastly lipstick? Alas, M. Arnault there looks more like a youthful Griffin Dunne, while unfortunately, none of the attendants was able to enlighten Uncle Karl as to the reason the Stockard Channing figurine on the far left was included in the display.

Happy Birthday to Moi: Here’s my present to you

Hump days are always hard, even when they’re your birthday. I’m celebrating what they call a Milestone (in lieu of saying, “Wow, did you know Edison?”) and feeling a little vintage myself, particularly in rainy weather. For that reason, we’re going All-Vintage this week at Ayyyy, and today we have a truly special post. No ragged, spouse-swapping, morning-after celebrities on this blog! Here’s something to give your eyes and spirit a little lift, coming to you direct from Valentina and the year 1930.

Valentina Dress from OMG that Dress

Valentina Dress from OMG that Dress

I’m not normally all about the sleek for myself, but this is elegance itself. It would look equally good on Carole Lombard and Jean Harlow. This is a dress that lets the woman (and the body) do the talking.

If you prefer something more ornamented, not to worry. We’ve got you covered: in Galliano! The Little Fashion Troll was recently interviewed in Vanity Fair and his mea culpa was actually moving and profound. Clearly it’s in his best business interests to apologize, but it seems to me that he has had an epiphany, an opportunity to examine himself in a way that few men ever do, and that he has not shied away from it but come out a better person. Time will tell if he will be welcomed back, but Anna is a fan, and what Anna wants, Anna gets.

tl;dr, here’s Stella Tennant looking the most feminine she ever did in her life, in Galliano for Christian Dior Haute Couture 2005.

Stella Tennant in Galliano for Christian Dior Haute Couture

Stella Tennant in Galliano for Christian Dior Haute Couture

Slam Punk

So apparently the Met is throwing punk parties nowadays; well, I guess someone had to, what with CBGBs closed and the Mudd Club closed and Max’s Kansas City closed and…everything closed, and half the people dead. So they threw a party called “PUNK: Chaos to Couture,” invited the Living Dead, the Social Skeletons, and the mummified dowagers and their walkers to a gala and…

Sienna Miller was the best-dressed woman there?

Sienna Miller at the Met Gala

Sienna Miller at the Met Gala

I know, I know, I’m losing my edge: first Katy Perry, now Sienna Miller. Both women I love to loathe, and both hit it out of the park in terms of the right fashion at the right time and place. It’s not easy to do glam punk, but Miller does it here with a jacket and headpiece worth more than Jonny Rotten ever spent on heroin in his entire life. But she still doesn’t look like she’s in costume; she looks like she could wear that with ripped jeans in a squat and be as relaxed and at home as Gwyneth Paltrow pretends to be when surrounded by food.

But that’s costume, gala punk. The Little Fashion Troll, he is the real thing.

Galliano is gloriously insane

Galliano is gloriously insane

And can someone tell me why, out of that entire fringey shorts over the camo shorts with the Pucci scarf with the prepster vest with the Derelicte jacket I am focused entirely on the feet and wondering where (and why) he ever got camel-toed British military socks? Do the Japanese do a lot of deer stalking in the Highlands or something? If they do, trust John Galliano to sneak up and snag their look when they’re not looking.

Rihanna’s classic look

Rihanna's high fashion

Rihanna’s high fashion

Ladies and gentlemen, there’s a reason Rihanna’s debut clothing line has been heralded as “High Fashion.” Let’s look at the respected designer as she is deep into the creative process.

 

Rihanna's creative process

Rihanna’s creative process

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