I was going to make fun of this woman for dressing like a lesbionic Martian flapper, but then I looked at the fine print and realized HOLY SHIT THAT’S VERUSCHKA and she is entitled to dress any way she likes.

And now, to the technology-themed link roundup.

I’ll have you know that Jackie Chan has never seen that troll farm in his life! (Lolebrity)

Is it time to upgrade to a new Mom? (TeenyManolo)

A scientifically-enhanced Madonna choking a chicken (Shoeblogs)

YouTube needs to take the Cure (Manolobig)

Modern superfoods not so super if you ask me (Manolofood)

Weddings go Back to the Future (ManoloBride)

Everything New is Old again (ManoloHome)

A return to classics at Louis Vuitton (BusyBeeBlogger)

Dakota Fanning travels forward in time (CeleBitchy)

Elton John was on hold for 43 years (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kim Kardashian, new and improved (DailyStab)

Modern medicine + Twitter = EW! (EvilBeet)

Kick Ass 2.0 (GabbyBabble)

Alien Couture Blazer of the Future (HaveUHeard)

Canadians are fashion-forward (INeedMyFix)

Internet to blogger, internet to blogger… (IBBB)

Boy George has been using that I Hate Megan Fox app (SeriouslyOMG)

Prince shuts down his website, probably issued press release via carrier pigeon (Bossip)

Trent Reznor is the Anti-Prince (AgentBedhead)

The science of Ozzy Osbourne (AllieIsWired)

Lilo’s twitter account needs an upgrade from “Horribly Tacky” (AmyGrindhouse)

America, at this precise moment in time (BestWeekEver)

Reznor 2.0 on the way (BricksAndStones)

Rachel Dratch 2.0 on the way (CelebrityBabyScoop)

The future of Old Dude tv (CelebrityBeehive)

Hate Megan Fox? There’s an app for that (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Don Johnson is a New Math genius! (CelebrityMound)

Mel Gibson vs technology (CelebritySmack)

Re-engineering the Calendar Girl (CelebVIPLounge)

Practical science for Lindsay Lohan (CelebSlam)

What, there are people who still use these? (CityRag)

Some icons are worth preserving (CrazyDays&Nights)

Thanks to modern science, we know what a catsuit made of Skittles looks like (Crunk&Disorderly)

Colin Farrell looks into the future (DListed)

Blogger vs Viacom (FourFour)

War of the Nerds (Gawker)

Alien Couture of the Future (GoFugYourself)

Cameron Diaz encounters Alien Growth Ray (HollywoodBackwash)

Amy Winehouse’s home-made cigarette carrier (HollywoodRag)

Scarjo channels Bardot (HollywoodTuna)

The Dion Spawn has been scanned (ImNotObsessed)

Tori Spelling has the very latest thing in wheels (JanetCharlton)

Ziyi Zhang transforms into sport star! (JustJared)

Fun with photos (of billionaires and their supermodels) (LaineyGossip)

The internet drives some people crazy (MaterialBitch)

If he could turn back time (MovieLine)

Vintage Bieber. No, that is not a typo (PerezHilton)

Test tube babydaddy Ronaldo (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Amy Winehouse returns to the past as she steps into the future (UKPopSugar)

New priestly crime not the same as the old priestly crime (WizbangPop)

Blogger of the moment, in the mo (PopBytes)

Medical science to solve mystery kidnapping (RadarOnline)

Cedric Diggory is a trending topic? (ASL)

It’s like America’s Funniest Home Videos, courtesy of YouTube (SquareEyes)

Download Sheryl Too Thin and Too Tan Crow (TenGossip)

Cameron Diaz uses ancient sexual technique (TheBosh)

Kate Moss’s better living through chemistry (TheSkinny)

All of YouTube vs Xtina (WorldofWonder)

Twitpics of the Rich and Famous (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

via X Y Z

Looking for a trendy bag on a budget? No need to comb eBay for the now-legally-restricted Jelly Kelly (as I learned from tragic experience, that translucent plastic they’re made of sucks up dirt and will NOT let it go, so they don’t last even if they are totally waterproof). Now you can get your green on and go cheap chic at the same time with these charming, witty, probably illegal 100% canvas Birkin-printed bags. Sadly likely to go off the market soon because Hermes is NOT down with the “right to satire” statutes, and guaranteed NOT to be waterproof, so even in the realm of knockoffs, inferior to the immortal Kelly bag.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Hermes Australia Says Birkin Bag Waiting List Was A Hoax (huffingtonpost.com)
• Breaking: Hermes Australia Admits Birkin Bag Waiting List Never Existed (shefinds.com)
• Want it Wednesday: Victoria Beckham’s Crocodile Birkin (purseblog.com)
• Leah and Bliss: Birkin-Inspiried Art Piece? (purseblog.com)
• The Look for Less: Browns’ homage to Birkin (theglobeandmail.com)

Don’t forget to enter our current contest featuring the always-risible Paris Hilton.

This was one of our fiercest battles yet, but at last we have a winner:

Neil Patrick Harris

Max Says:
June 19th, 2010 at 2:55 am

“Your turn to find the soap Babe.”

It was a tough call between that and Jenny’s fountain joke, but the possibilities Max’s line brings to mind are pleasant indeed to dwell upon, are they not? So, yeah, the perv factor is what clinched it.

To first-time winner Max, whose quiz results say she is a High Heeled Boot and who pines for these buckled booties but had to send them back and besides, they were Jessica Simpson, we hypothetically present the imaginary trophy of these devastatingly sexy, high-heeled, buckled boots from my favorite demented Italian designer, Giuseppe Zanotti:

And if you’re wondering why NPH contest = shoe prize, you haven’t seen this:

Today’s trendoid is not complete without a green machine. Which of these designer contraptions will wheel away with your heart?

The economical $3500 Hermes:

bicycle hermes

Or what about the veddy, veddy posh $17,000 Chanel (at that price it should come with a decorative manservant to pedal)

bicycle chanel

Or, if geek-flavoured laziness is your thing, how about a nice Chanel Segway?

Chanel Segway

Don’t forget the accessories: a stylish helmet and bike clips!

bike helmets I'd actually wear

Chanel bikecuffs

Hey Lindsay, are you thinking what I’m thinking?

As you can see, new mom and former Most Beautiful Model in the Whole Entire World Giselle Bundchen is delighted to present Jessica Lengyel of Colcci, designer of the only outfit in history to bring her down to “mere cute mortal attractiveness” level. Congratulations, that is true contrarian fashion genius.

I dunno about this new accessory line from Pierre Cardin the master of perfume licensing and the go-go boot. I think he’s definitely lost touch with the world of accessories, don’t you?

Fergie, Duchess of Plonk! (TrueSlant)

Did you say “caged FEET?” (TheManolo)

Gary Coleman: the jive is strong with this one (Lolebrity)

Ashton overshares (AgentBedhead)

George Clooney’s in town: lock up your brunette strippers! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Kristen, honey, it’s only a couple of pictures (CeleBitchy)

Dustup in the Desert! (CelebrityBeehive)

NASCAR loser (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Lindsay enjoys the taste of clean living with Victoria Hervey and SamRo (CelebritySmack)

Canuckistan rising! (DailyStab)

Gaga gaga? (EvilBeet)

Megan Fox auditions for Victoria’s Secret…at LAX (HaveUHeard)

Pink didn’t marry him for his brains, you know (INeedMyFix)

Don’t worry, Madonna will adopt him (IBBB)

Animals at the zoo (UKPopSugar)

So she’s wearing underwear you can see through her dress, that hideous orange-red lipstick I already blogged about, and Uggs. Trying to look on the bright side: thank GOD she is wearing underwear.

Lock this man up immediately! (Lolebrity)

Red Shoes Diary? (TheManolo)

Fake Furniture? (ManoloHome)

Womb with a view (to controversy) (ManoloBig)

Should In-Laws be outlawed? (ManoloBrides)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Antonio Banderas vs Stephen Moyer (TeenyManolo)

Hitler would have LOVED the Bieb! (AgentBedhead)

We’ll never know what Willis was talking about now (AmyGrindhouse)

Kristen Davis abandons Manolo! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Sandra Bullock has superpowers (CeleBitchy)

Britney time travels to 1972 (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Cynthia Nixon has three lemons, and one’s not in her bodice (CojoStyle)

The Serbian Justin Bieber (DListed)

Girl, this isn’t a move UP (GabbyBabble)

Tom Cruise, nobody wants your risky business anymore (HaveUHeard)

Cloris Leachman for safe sex, doggy-style (INeedMyFix)

Related articles by Zemanta

• 4 reviews of Britney Spears Wearing No Underwear (rateitall.com)
• Tom Cruise Recreates Risky Business Underwear Scene — With a Les Grossman Twist! (justjared.buzznet.com)

And defy the fashion history of the last three years.

Normally, I’d say the Gladiator look is completely finito (and not a moment too soon), but for some reason I just can’t place I’m rather inclined to let this particular iteration go. No, wait; I’ve reconsidered. It must all come off right! now!

Hail our Capitalist Tool overlords! (TrueSlant)

Jay-Z is NOT amused (Lolebrity)

EVERYBODY POLKA!!! (TheManolo)

It runs in the family (TeenyManolo)

That does NOT say “cojones” (ManoloHome)

Balls! (ManoloBrides)

How. To. Wear. Shoes. (ManoloBig)

Hail our porn vampire overlords! (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan has a cunning plan… (AmyGrindhouse)

Sex and the City and the supporting cast (BusyBeeBlogger)

They sent them back to the volcano (CeleBitchy)

Fergie, Ghetto Duchess (CelebrityBeehive)

Nicole Kidman’s new shirt stuffers (CelebCosmeticSurgery)

Paula Abdul can’t count? Imagine! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

25 Cent (CelebritySmack)

Liza with a line! (DailyStab)

So THAT’s why Sonoma is popular for weekends away (DListed)

Hail our big-butted overlords! (Gawker)

Hail our Adderall-crazed overlord! (HaveUHeard)

Ol’ Googly Eyes and his Moll from Outer Space at a premiere (INeedMyFix)

Lindsay Lohan in Night Court! (IBBB)

Wait, someone put WRITERS on camera??? (MovieLine)

Jake Gyllenhaal whips out his big sword for the cameras (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

ZOMG Ginny is taller than Harry! (UKPopSugar)