Tom of Finland clothing

We’ve been neglecting you. We’re sorry; the Easter Lindt hangover went on far too long this year (that’s what happens when you combine premium chocolate with allergy meds and wash them down with Jack Daniels WHO KNEW???). Here, to make up for it, are a bevy of brawnies from the Tom of Finland clothing line‘s fall/winter 1998 show, inspired by the (in)famous and iconic gay illustrator. What’s surprising to me is how good these clothes are; not jokey (except Mister Hot Pants and Earflap Hat) and essentially classics cut with an eye to enhancing a sexy silhouette.

Enjoy.

Hermes Giant Pants

Haute Couture is not always deconstructed georgette ballgowns or starched and origami’d canvas batwings. Sometimes it’s Giant Pants.

This image of a frankly fabulous Hermes wool jumpsuit comes to us from the well-named Giant Pants of the Thirties blog, which features, you guessed it, Giant Pants of the Thirties. For those of us with a PBS-nurtured fondness for Oxford Bags or Beach Pajamas, this is a visual feast not to be skipped. Who wants anorexic pants when they can have voluptuousness in twill, moleskin or corduroy?

Stella McCartney

Mudhooks
February 26, 2012 at 3:12 am

Specially designed for Kim Kardashian…

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Mudhooks! To her we hypothetically present the avian-themed imaginary
Riki Rosetta Anastasia Small Satchel in White Ostrich Leather to honour this design turkey.

We have found our perfect spirit animal. He is sleek. He is chic. He is petit. And he is probably worth about $150 a pelt to the Europeans.

ribbon seal

Despite being a He rather than a She, this arctic ribbon seal that showed up, somehow, a mile upriver from the Pacific near Seattle must nonetheless be acknowledged to embody the same light-hearted yet rigorous line as the creations of fabled Sixties icon André Courrèges. We will let him keep his coat, even as we admire it, for lo, we’ve always felt we were of insufficient angularity to carry off the stark contrasts of black and white, much though we may admire them.

We shall call him André!

Courreges

Instead of this:

Snow matter

Buy this:

Yes. A $190, completely empty snow globe from Maison Martin Margiela. It perfectly represents our time: the emperor got dressed and put his hood up.

You can tell she's a Canadian model because she's smiling

I keep telling people that Canadians are the most passive-aggressive people in the world (why else do you think we’re so polite? To set up the zings better) and nobody believes me. Maybe after reading this tale of tears, treachery, and trickery at Vancouver Fashion Week, you’ll take my word for it.

Noël’s inexperience with financial administration resulted in an embarrassingly public scandal—on October 2 of 2009, credit card fraud allegations shut down BC Fashion Week mid-runway show, under the supervision of RCMP officers…[literally, they busted up the show and took to the runway. No word on whether or not they "sashayed"]

Perhaps chief among the practical problems is the way Vancouver Fashion Week presents itself as a recognized “global platform for designers, buyers, media representatives, and sponsors,” but its early November dates position it too late in the season for the aforementioned all-important fashion buyers. Add to this the fact that the self-described “global platform” is frequently derided as having “high school” production values, including the fact that last year, aspiring models were “hired” via Craigslist. “I was paid $700 [in total] to model in their first year,” says one London-based catwalker familiar with the Vancouver scene, “and I think that was the last year they paid anyone.”

No wonder we’re the third worst-dressed city in the world.

Vanessa Hudgens Slips Up

Oh Vanessa. Yes, your movie career tanked pretty fast, but has it really come to this? Are those real slippers, or one dark night did you just cut down an old pair of Uggs in a self-hating, Avril Lavigne-blaring frenzy? At least you have some pride: you’re a $975 Alexander Wang bag lady (retail).

Oh, SNAP!

Emma Watson is thrilled to debut Burberry Prorsum’s new Matrix dress, with the flying harness already built in! Should take the toil right out of those tedious thestral-riding scenes.