Bill Gates on Manhunt? (raincoaster)

Mr Bean goes to the Spanish Parliament (Guardian)

Iran. Iran so far away (Gawker)

Guido 2.0 (Lolebrity)

Eli Roth hacked and attacked by 200 Mexicans (Twitter)

Remix Trent Reznor (AgentBedhead)

Ellen Photoshops her way into the AI lineup (AmyGrindhouse)

RPattz and KStew ambushed! (AllieIsWired)

Lilo is robbed! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Rihanna’s outfit slashed! (INeedMyFix)

Pete and Ashlee hack the paps (CelebritySmack)

Redmond O’Neal busted again (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Mariah Carey’s jewels cased (HolyCandy)

OctoDoc takes the rap (CeleBitchy)

Angel stops cougar attack (DListed)

Celebrities caught in action (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Mischa Barton turns hooker (DailyStab)

The LA Coroner is mystified (EvilBeet)

Sean Penn is a stooge (GabbyBabble)

Madonna takes the rap (INO)

Halle Berry hacked! (JustJared)

Gay blades Jim Carrey and Ewan MacGregor come out (Movieline)

JSimp’s hairy sitch (PopSugar)

More deets on the Bear Jew Werewolf Shark attack (TenGossip)

Joan Rivers is a threat to national security (LitelySalted)

It’s true what Glinda says: so purty you almost forget he’s a bit of a douchenozzle.

Rob Zombie’s Where the Wild Things Are (AgentBedhead)

Corey Feldman’s back on the market, ladies! (AmyGrindhouse)

James Franco must not be a REAL Italian (BusyBeeBlogger)

Back to the Eurasian Orphan Emporium for Tomkat (CeleBitchy)

World’s worst toupee? (CelebritySmack)

Gordon Ramsay experiences pain, a generation of sous chefs yell, “TELL me about it!” (DailyStab)

Gore Vidal destroys a potentially lucrative career as a childcare professional (Gawker)

Pete Wentz is a marked man (EvilBeet)

Jimmy Kimmel, claws out (GabbyBabble)

Rosielina? J’Odonnell? (INO)

Twihards about to blow their stack if RPattz is a free agent (UKPopSugar)

Hamthrax in Hollywood (Movieline)

Craig Ferguson joins the Navy (SeriouslyOMG)

But IS this, in fact, IT? (ASL)

Here are the answers to Monday’s puzzle corner:
1. Sam Mendes/Kate Winslet
2. Frances McDormand/Joel Coen
3. Helen Mirren/Taylor Hackford
4. Tim Burton/Helena Bonham Carter
5. Robert Rodriguez/Rose McGowan
6. Kate Beckinsale/Len Wiseman
7. Julianne Moore/Bart Freundlich
8. Spike Jonze/Michelle Williams
9. Rachel Weisz/Darren Aronofsky
10. Leslie Mann/Judd Apatow

Congratulations to the superteam of minky, Patricia, dessessopsid, SusanG and leene for a combined total of 9 out of 10! As your reward you may imagine yourself being Marg Helgenberger surrendering to the libidinous jaws of Emmy co-presenter Quentin Tarantino.

I really should invest the time in finding a site or two with good nonalcoholic drinks recipes if I’m going to keep up this clean living thing, shouldn’t I?

Uwe Boll will not be kept down (AgentBedhead)

Mariah Carey rocks the Grade 7 look (AmyGrindhouse)

Kiefer Sutherland is calling me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Golddigger dug herself a hole (CeleBitchy)

The Prince of Paris (CelebritySmack)

Eve is transracial (CelebuWreck)

LiRo? SamLo? LOL! (HolyMoly)

Inaho/Kate Moss/sushi; make up your own punny headline (UKPopSugar)

Michelle Obama in Time (DailyStab)

Cher! Xtina! Burlesque! What more do you need to know? (DListed)

Harriet Carter’s magical doorway to the past (IBBB)

When stars attack…fans (SeriouslyOMG)

Is there a telethon for Lambertitis? (TenGossip)

Live without regrets…except that mis-spelled tattoo (Websters)

I’m on what I call the Diva Diet: I don’t eat fattening food or drink alcohol unless someone else pays for it. That way, it has no calories! And most particularly, a Sapphire Collins has even fewer, because every fool knows bubbles are calorie-free!

Link Challenge: Booze!

Megan Fox was sotally tober when she said that (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse boozed (AmyGrindhouse)

Brooke Shields defends the Paladin of Pisco, her Saviour of Sake, her Kamikaze Knight (BusyBeeBlogger)

Octomom isn’t drunk, just crazy (CeleBitchy)

Has Meghan McCain gotten into Mom’s pillbox? (NYDN)

Boy George’s sobering good looks (CelebritySmack)

Lady Gaga, straight up (BST)

STOP THE PRESSES VICTORIA BECKHAM IN FLATS (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Emmy Rossum pulled over, apparently just in time (CelebuWreck)

This video is psychoactive (Crunk+Disorderly)

LiLo to sober up? (DailyStab)

Ho, Ho, Ho, somebody got into the leftover eggnog (Gawker)

Is that a mickey in your pocket or are you just Come On, Get Happy to see me? (DListed)

Bennifer 2.0 on the rocks? (EvilBeet)

George Clooney is a tall drink of … where was I? (INO)

A sobering thought for Brooke Hogan (IBBB)

Dear Miss California, have a cocktail and calm down (JustJared)

Confucius sez just because there is vodka in the Green Room, doesn’t mean you have to drink it (PerezHilton)

Tarantino transvestites, tipples (FAB)

Medical emergency: blogger needs cocktail STAT! (Websters)

Is anyone sober on Twitter? (SeriouslyOMG)

Adam Lambert’s fans are drunk on his love (TenGossip)

Shitney Beers is the fiercest hillbilly trannie! (OMG)

I’ll get healthy if it kills me! Have I said that before? What do you expect, I’m utterly stoned on flu medicine! In any case, that great theory about spinach, that you can put it in anything because it doesn’t have any flavour? Is a myth. My mouth has an aftertaste known only to raw vegan extremists and pedigreed racehorses.

Skittles Vodka: just shoot it (BWE)

Hugh can do it (AgentBedhead)

Miley? Can sue it! (AmyGrindhouse)

He knew it! (AprilWinchell)

Beth Ditto just nudes it (CelebWarship)

Mickey Rourke talks sh*t (CelebritySmack)

Jane Krakowski’s cans can’t (CelebuWreck)

Barrymore on Grant? (CandyKirby)

Britney on Trent? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica splits her pants (CeleBitchy)

Courtney Love, heirophant (GoFugYourself)

All hail Tina Fey (EvilBeet)

A new job for Aubrey O’Day (DailyStab)

Peck or Sidney Poitier? (TeenyManolo)

Celebrate the Harriet Carter way (IBBB)

Heidi Klum’s got tubby, eh? (DListed)

Someone’ll get it from Michael Bay (Defamer)

Gwyneth will get it from Oprah Winfrey (Defamer as well, this was too good to skip)

Announcing James Roday (SeriouslyOMG)

Lily Allen’s overexposed tittay (Websters)

Blogs invaded by Jordan’s Peter Andre (UKPopSugar)

Ivana Trump goes on holiday (HolyMoly)

and this concludes our rhyming-on-flu-meds experiment for this evening.

How does it go? It’s the rusty nail that gets the free refill? Well it SHOULD go that way, dammit!

Gossip blogger blogs about being interviewed about gossip blogging on blog (EvilBeet)

Malkovich? Malkovich. Malkovich! is on teh internets (AgentBedhead)

Bono ar in ur latte, savin da werld (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ahnold will not terminate marriage equality (CelebrityDirt)

Cougartown! (GenosWorld)

I, Guy Richie, vow to love, honour, and obey these 36 line items in the marriage contract… (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Diddy is a daddy, and a hella good cook! (CelebWarship)

The Madonna List (TheRadReport)

Gwen Stefani bucks trend, releases baby pix for free! (PopBytes)

Kevin Smith is the scourge of plumbing fixtures everywhere (CeleBitchy)

Janet Jackson on tour, now with 30% less obscenity (CelebritySmack)

The Trollson Twins clean up well as Vargas Girls (DailyStab)

Russell Band inspires unlikely labour activism at the Beeb (HolyMoly)

Cloris has her own reality show! My prayers have been answered! (Defamer)

Mariah Carey’s Halloween style crumbles (Websters)

Don’t you HATE it when someone shows up in the same dress as you? (DListed)

Bloody Hell! Endometriosis is catching??? (GabbyBabble)

Katherine Heigl is playing games with us (CandyKirby)

The View from the bottom of the barrel (IBBB)

Nicolette Sheridan goes down on her handlers (SeriouslyOMG)

Roger Ebert’s Rules of Order (Gawker)

Halp! Iz Mary-Kate Olsen! (Lolebrity)

Peaches gets her apricot kicked by NYC (AgentBedhead)

Ali Lohan’s Why HELLO There Kitty costume (Yeeeeah)

Hudson family murder suspect has long criminal history (CelebritySmack)

Julianne Hough suffers through Attack of the Ladyparts! (DailyStab)

Hollywood Zombie Boobies! (Defamer)

Deep Throat goes down for the last time (CandyKirby)

The Hills in black and white (IBBB)

Simon Cowell has a heart? (CelebrityDirt)

The Trollsen protest (Mollygood)

Is that a euphemism for “lesbian?” (PopSugar)

Now, I KNOW this has to be a euphemism, but for what??? (Websters)

Julia Roberts, however, is NOT about the euphemisms (SeriouslyOMG)

Donate to the Blogger’s Challenge (EvilBeet)

Hilary Duff has no respect for her elders (DListed)

Dita von Teese has the best Halloween costume! (CeleBitchy)