Eva Green

It’s always so cute when little girls play dress-up, but somebody needs to tell Eva here that Mommy’s Slutty Friend’s makeup doesn’t go with Daddy’s Downlow Friend trousers.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya…that is, if ya are an Anglophilic Sherlock Holmes fan who just can’t get enough of your literate and literary pin-up boy. Here he is, keepin’ it real in the Inner City.

Moriarty, by the way, is also real, or so we hear.

Behold the “glories” of Romanian model and poor liar Ioana Spangenberg, who claims she eats three big meals a day. I remember when Marie Osmond was boasting of a “natural” twenty inch waist” too; those were the days she was eating one apple a day and throwing it up, and she’s not five six. Nor, frankly, are many models who don’t work on fetish sites. Do your best/worst to the Human Skeleton in the comments, and points will be lost for obviousness for anyone who posts “eat a sammich.”

SAMMICH, girl. Dayum! Your elbow shouldn't be the widest part of your arm

Jean Dujardin has a point to make

Why Jean, that’s quite a good point you make. What’s more, it reminds me of something…

Welcome to Hump Day, y’all!

From my new favoritest blog, the horrifying and delightful Celebrity Closeups. Do what you do best in the captions:

Vanessa Paradis up close and extremely personal

How I love the interwebs. You could just be minding your own business, trawling the celebusphere for evidence of poor accessorizing amongst the Kardashian Klan when suddenly, you’re confronted with the world’s most compelling BEFORE picture: stark evidence that while our fascination with glamour may result in some remarkable transformations, that these do not come without pain or their share of ugliness.

On that note, let me present to you what has been described as “the funniest skit in tv history,” Mrs Brown’s Bikini Wax from RTÉ Television in Ireland.

Looks like a dead badger on flypaper.

what a tit

Sure. It makes total sense to me. She’s the wife of an executive at Rovio, which produces app juggernaut Angry Birds, and she just wanted to fly the flag for her husband’s company. Makes total sense.

But why is she wearing the pasty on the outside?

As you’ve probably heard, the Royal Couple was recently up here in Canuckistan, and as is traditional, we demonstrated for them all the colourful local customs like street hockey, kayaking, the use of the Oxford Comma, and the preparation and consumption of Kraft Dinner.

And, of course, the Canadian Bullfights.

Bullfights Canadian Style

Let nobody say we’re unfriendly! That silly paparazzo didn’t have a clue how to play this game. Fortunately, the Royals had indeed read their cheat sheet and knew just how to divert the bull’s attention.

Yoohoo, Moose! How about them Canucks, eh?

Also: Unreported fact about their visit to Yellowknife: Prince William took three shots at the net in street hockey. The goalie was pretty good, and snagged the first two balls, but the third ball ricocheted off the frame of the net and hit a photographer in the … sports equipment.

Your intrepid reporter was there.