Archive - Eva Longoria RSS Feed

Eva Longoria is no TEN

Eva Longoria gets 4 from the French Judge

Eva Longoria gets 4 from the French Judge

Convinced she could stick the landing, Eva Longoria instead did a faceplant instead of a triple at GMA. Her fans claim the contest was fixed, but it’s a cinch that anyone with that kind of figure was skating on thin ice with this look.

Speaking of ice, let’s drop some into a tumbler and enjoy a Triple Lutz cocktail while perusing some links that probably should be put on ice before they swell.

Stupid Girl is sick in the head (raincoaster)

This has medicinal value (ManoloFood)

That’s a very strange growth (Ayyyy)

Beaker needs a tiger blood infusion (Lolebrity)

Canadian cancer faker free? (Gawker)

Giselle gets an unsatisfactory scan (AgentBedhead)

Bringing the Bird back from Beyond (BusyBeeBlogger)

RescussiAnnie has some competition from Charlie Sheen (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Baby On Board! (CelebritySmack)

She’s not wearing her blue gown, doctor! (CelebVIPLounge)

Which is why they call the front row Gynecology Row (DailyStab)

If she thinks she’s A-list, she needs her head examined (EarSucker)

Who needs a mammogram when you have THIS shirt? (FitFabCeleb)

I don’t care what he says, he still looks like a junkie (GirlsTalkinSmack)

100 days of sobriety? (HaveUHeard)

RIP (HollywoodHiccups)

The uterus that ATE a Promising Career! (INeedMyFix)

Rihanna’s PET scan results are internet-ready (MathewGuiver)

Britney’s body rumours put to rest? (PoorBritney)

Ferraris are like hemorrhoids (PopBytes)

Let’s give Paul Rudd his birthday wish to cure cancer (Swoonworthy)

She’s only five pounds away from being Mister Bones hanging in the corner of the lab (TheSkinny)

Making it easy for the nurse practitioner’s examination (TheSkinnyChic)

 

This Stinks!

Sex Pistols perfumeYes, this exists.

The Sex Pistols have released a new fragrance.

Resisting tradition, fighting conformity and disregarding aromatic conventions it leaves a fresh, restless bite of lemon, sharpened and intensified by a defiant black pepper. Electrified by aldehydes, the fragrance exudes pure energy, pared down and pumped up by leather, shot through with heliotrope and brought back down to earth by a raunchy patchouli.

As well as a strong scent, the bottle also makes a bold impression, with its iconic graphic inspired by the front cover of the single ‘God Save the Queen’ released in 1977.

Kill me now.

Who John Cusack is NOT dating (raincoaster)
Saturday Caption Contest: Royalty in 3D! (Ayyyy)
Anarchy in the UK! (Manolofood)
The derivation of Anna Wintour (Lolebrity)
Tom Cruise, size queen (AgentBedhead)
DArquette in Miami (BusyBeeBlogger)
The Situation is…desperate (CeleBitchy)
How many divorces can you get at one time? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Heidi Klum gave the paps the slip (CojoStyle)
The Greatest Musical Event of Our Time occurred (DailyStab)
Canada stops for Cookie Time (DListed)
Katy Perry dressed up as a toilet roll cover for the AMA’s (HaveUHeard)
Justin Bieber’s Usher innuendo (INeedMyFix)
The Britney Debate rages on (PoorBritney)
Brendan Fraser’s special effects (SeriouslyOMG)

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Student Exchange: Hogwarts Heartthrobs

That’s a very respectable showing from Tom Felton, once again stealing the show from his arch-rival, Daniel “Nice Guy” Radcliffe. But does anyone else think he’s been watching a bit too much early Keanu Reeves? Booyah, Dude-Man! Let’s order a pitcher of Bud Light (and pour it into the window planter when nobody is looking) to toast these new speakers of American: The Freedom Language.

Old McDonald had a problem… (raincoaster)
Draco Malfoy cleans up good (Ayyyy)
The Andy Warhol New York City Diet (ManoloFood)
Joan Crawford’s dating tips (Lolebrity)
Il fait suffrir pour etre belle (ManoloBeauty)
Spoons are a girl’s best friend? (CraftyManolo)
A clever bale-out for the recession (GreenManolo)
When Dina Lohan has to tell you how to behave, you KNOW you’re in trouble (AgentBedhead)
Kellan Lutz has Madonna arms! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Even St. Angelina can’t save Bosnia (CeleBitchy)
Tony Danza heckles a priest at a funeral (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Canuckistan corners teh sex-ay (DailyStab)
Chupa schtupped (DListed)
Beyonce is bad! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Eva Longoria Foursome (HaveUHeard)
You don’t have to be crazy to hate Bristol Palin (INeedMyFix)
Harry Potter finds his dead parents alive! (SeriouslyOMG)

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Carey Mulligan in:

Hollywoods elite and powerful arrive to the premiere of 'Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps' at the Ziegfeld Theatre in New York City, NY on September 20, 2010. Among the arrivals were one of the most successful investors in the world, Warren Buffett and esteemed actor Michael Douglas whom is currently battling stage 4 throat cancer attended to support his fellow co-stars. Pictured Here: Carey Mulligan  Fame Pictures, Inc

…her new movie, “Money Never Sleeps In Its Clothes The Night Before a Big Premiere.” Looks like the poor girl could use a drink, and so could we, since we have to look at that. I suggest a hearty and nutritious Pick Me Up Cocktail, to pry those heavy eyelids open.

Hipster Potter and the Philosophers, Stoned (raincoaster)
Friday Caption Contest: Cravat Edition (Ayyyy)
Ozzy and Slash: pocket queens (Lolebrity)
The Gruesome Twosome are no more (CelebrityBeehive)
Kate Moss is just dicking with Pete Doherty now (AgentBedhead)
Alicia Keys popped! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Pink gets on the horn (CelebDirtyLaundry)
We’ll have no Beyonceing here! (CelebritySmack)
Eva Longoria Parker poses next to a Paula Abdul impersonator (DailyStab)
Kim Kardashian’s butt armor needs a blacksmith ASAP (GabbyBabble)
NPH officially world’s coolest dad (HaveUHeard)
Katy Perry is no Julie Newmar (INeedMyFix)
What happens in Vegas stays…on PerezHilton (PerezHilton)
St Britney (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
10 best-dressed authors (Flavorwire)

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Friday Caption Contest Results: Hermes Edition

Our image of last week was apparently so terrifying that only an intrepid brace of commenters dared to risk snarking it. Congratulations to the winner of this historic and heated  coiffure to coiffure battle:

PARIS - MARCH 10: Models walk the runway at the end of the Hermes Ready to Wear show as part of the Paris Womenswear Fashion Week Fall/Winter 2011 at Halle Freyssinet on March 10, 2010 in Paris, France. (Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images)

Jennie Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 1:58 am

The family Hermes uses the Star Gate to bring ancestors forward in time to battle the evil Fashion Troll…

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Jennie, whose reference to our favorite Fashion Troll cinched the win for her. Her prize for such captivating captioning? What else but a beautiful, virtual Hermes Birkin, stolen straight from the lap of Euro superstar Jane Birkin. Here she is at the Jean Paul Gaulthier show being distracted by the twinkling lights coming from inside Anna Piaggi’s head while I sneak up on her from the other side:

Celebs at Jean-Paul Gaultier Fall-Winter 2010/2011 Ready-to-Wear fashion show in Paris


Here’s a better look, this time at Eva Longoria’s navy version: Ooooh, pretty!

Eva Longoria heads home from her Beso restaurant carrying a mid-blue Hermes Birkin bag

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Eva Longoria, good luck charm

Right between the eyes

What do you mean those Desperate Housewives don’t get along with each other? Nonsense! See, they even spit on each other for good luck!

Decision time: Eva Longoria vs Victoria Beckham

We have too much fabric between us

Because if you’re going to trip over and fall flat on your face, would you rather do it in an elegant pantsuit or evening gown?

Bacon Bourbon and Ham Sushi Links

Blake Lively loves dogs! (lolebrity)

Gary Coleman is white trash? (Defamer)

Dakota Fanning, however, is not (AgentBedhead)

Eva Longoria Parker shills candy (DailyStab)

Bottom feeding on the LA dating scene (CelebritySmack)

Heather Mills is the earthly vessel of the divine principle of Schadenfreude (CeleBitchy)

Torontonian schools whiny busker/Oasis frontman attacked (HolyMoly)

We can’t believe it either, Jessica (PopSugar)

Jennifer Aniston is unbelievably thrilled to see you (ImNotObsessed)

France lays the smackdown on grifting for Xenu (Mollygood)

Smells like tween spirit! (BWE)

Britney Spears cleans up real good at the VMAs (EvilBeet)

This woman’s got her head screwed on wrong (IBBB)

Katy Perry’s stylist goes into production of silk purses (GoFugYourself)

Quote of the day: Katy Perry is nothing but Diablo Cody with an actual stripper’s body, instead of a former stripper’s body (FourFour)

Matt Damon vs Ben Affleck face off! (SeriouslyOMG)

Girls Gone Wild: Disney fake lesbian edition (Websters)

The real father of Bristol Palin’s baby (Radar)

Don’t you have to be a diva to throw a diva fit? (DListed)

Page 1 of 3123»