Three times out of three, it helps to have a full-length mirror available at home. In any event, this is a useful way of exhibiting various stages of frostbite to the legs.

Well, if this doesn’t get me fired, nothing will.

Ashlee Simpson tries to rent out Bronx (CelebWarship)

RIP Bettie Page (BusyBeeBlogger)

Usher ushers in another son (BlackCelebrityKids)

The palace takes protective measures against Paris Hilton (TheBlemish)

Viggo relives WWII (HolyMoly)

At last: proof Lily Allen wears underwear (SeriouslyOMG)

Clay Aiken is a lucky, lucky man (POTP)

Ho, ho, ho, George Clooney (AgentBedhead)

Merry Christmas, y’all! (AmyGrindhouse)

Desperate fabric shortage in Russia! (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

The REAL reason Hollywood is going on strike! (CelebuWreck)

Paris Hilton claims she’s proof blondes aren’t dumb (CeleBitchy)

Jerry Springer, however, shows unexpected signs of intelligence (CelebritySmack)

Demi Lovato needs a better PR (EvilBeet)

Karl’s Kristmas Karols (FakeKarl)

The Golden Globes nominations (CandyKirby)

These are the greatest church jokes? (IBBB)

Who’s your favorite British man? (UKPopSugar)

Did you know that bulls are colour blind and only attack because of the flapping motion of the cloth?  This means that when Julia Ormond gets bored she can unfurl her apron with a flourish and provoke her co-star into making a spectacular charge.  Can you not already sense its suspicion at her excess layer of fabric?

I can’t for the life of me decide which trash bin makes the better accessory – can you?

No piercing, no clip-ons, no fuss! Just hang them off the back of your head and you’ll hardly feel that they’re there!

Putin sez: You CAN see Alaska from here! (Lolebrity)

Alaskans say: You CAN see Russia from here! (Radar)

Kurt Cobain’s ashes up in smoke? (AgentBedhead)

Barbies of the rich and famous (SeriouslyOMG)

Oprah’s mom is a deadbeat (CeleBitchy)

TJ Hooker’s police blotter (CelebritySmack)

Megan Fox has gender identification issues (DailyStab)

Melissa Etheridge is going to make an honest woman of Tammy Lynn Michaels (DListed)

Simon Pegg vs Ricky Jervais is the new Paris vs Lindsay (Defamer)

Celebrity moose knuckles (CityRag)

Sarah Palin blows a wicked flute (Gawker)

THIS time Jennifer Aniston is taking no chances (Websters)

Leo DiCaprio wants kids (ASL)

The new look from Paris: carny! (CandyKirby)

Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr are the new Watson and Holmes? (UKPopsugar)

Oprah puts Tom Cruise’s foot in her mouth (AgentBedhead)

Air Sex CSI? (CandyKirby)

The secret shame of Michael Phelps (DListed)

Phoebie Price wins one! (CeleBitchy)

Shanna Moakler speaks out about the plane crash (CelebritySmack)

Meet the LizardMan! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The award for best pop video of all time goes to… (DailyStab)

Richest Congressmen (Jossip)

Does Simon Cowell make you randy, baby? (ImNotObsessed)

Top five Emmy quotes (PopSugar)

Gwyneth Paltrow cooks all her own food, employs macrobiotic chef presumably just to keep him off welfare (JustJared)

Josh Groban: laughingstock or genius? (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper’s secret drag show cabaret shame (Gawker)

ZOMG Perez Hilton has a ghostwriter??? (EvilBeet)

The Jamie Lynn Spears porn investigation is NOT what you think (CelebrityBabyScoop)

VOTE CLORIS!!!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

Jeremy Piven bites the hand that feeds (GabbyBabble)

The David Beckham Beefcake Calendar for 2009! (PopBytes)

nb: No disrespect to the lemon curd is meant. I’m sure it’s just really, really friendly.

Zombie Kate Hudson wants brainssssss (Lolebrity)

Metallica hates music downloaders, loves trophy wives (AgentBedhead)

No, Megan Fox, that’s not why people think you’re trashy (DailyStab)

Like father, like son: Ryan and Redmond O’Neal busted for meth (CelebritySmack)

Like father, like son: The Brolins have Bromance (Defamer)

Anne Hathaway is a cruel, cruel woman (CandyKirby)

Anonymous gets Sarah Palin’s email deleted (Gawker)

Stayin’ Alive gets the zombie treatment from Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly (HolyMoly)

Harriet Carter is a fan of Wyld Stallyns! (IBBB)

Britney’s backslidin’ y’all (Websters)

Kate Hudson in London does that “when in Rome thing” (Popbytes)

Top Ten Signs Your Dress is Too Slutty (Yeeeeah)

Yes, it’s okay to hate Gwyneth Paltrow again (PopSugar)

Rosario Dawson shows off her pressed hams (DailyMail)

Meet Sarah Palin’s witch doctor (Mollygood)

Hugh Hefner is a friend with REAL benefits (CeleBitchy)