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Friday Caption Contest Results: Christmas Spike Edition

Santa’s just added one witty commenter to his Naughty List; that’s what I call a credential!

Spike is sad he missed out on that part in Bridget Jones's Diary

Spike is sad he missed out on that part in Bridget Jones's Diary

Natalie Anne Lanoville
November 26, 2011 at 10:18 pm
Shut down at the Buffy Christmas Party, Spike regrets the consulting fee he paid Derek Zoolander.

That’s two wins now for Natalie! And what has Santa Spike got in his sack for her this time? What could be better than a collection of Mark Roberts ’12 Days of Christmas’ Fairies?

Ashley Greene: Breaking Waistband

Ashley Greene at the Breaking Waistband premiere

Ashley Greene at the Breaking Waistband premiere

Nice try, Ashley! Good work at the Canadian Breaking Dawn premiere, pandering to Canuckistani patriotism with the obligatory red outfit on the red carpet (presumably the white is your refreshingly un-orange self). But even though Canada isn’t Paris, it was still a bad idea to try to repurpose Aunt Suzie’s maternity separates as a red carpet gown without so much as a judicious safety-pinning.

What a waist!

What a waist!

Michelle Williams Lights Up Our Lives

Michelle Williams lights up our lives in Oscar de la Renta

Michelle Williams lights up our lives in Oscar de la Renta

Oh honey, no. I don’t care how much fun you’re having (and when you think of fun-loving starlets, doesn’t your mind automatically go first to Michelle Williams?) the lampshade goes on your head!

Did Oscar de la Renta do this one too?

It doesn’t turn us on.

Cut it Short

Amanda Seyfried cut short

Amanda Seyfried cut short

Isn`t Amanda Seyfried just adorable? She can`t wait to start her first day of school at the Mena Suvari Academy for Starlets Who Never Quite Reached Their Full Potential. Or the bathroom on time.

Net Loss

Kate Bosworth Blinding Burberry

Kate Bosworth Blinding Burberry

Pity the lovely (yet somewhat gnarled) Kate Bosworth, seen here trying to get as far away as possible from her party frock. No matter how much Burberry paid her to get into that monstrosity, it couldn’t have been easy to appear in public this way. It’s as the designer got incredibly high on acid and created to commemorate a gruesome, drawn-out butterfly death scene from Pink Floyd:’s The Wall.

They wouldn’t do this to Emma Watson, would they Kate?

Courtney Loves Canadian Thanksgiving

courtney loves it

courtney loves it

To tell you the truth, I kind of love it, too. It’s like she was on her way to a drag queen’s funeral, realized it just wasn’t fabulous enough, and stapled some wild turkeys and Shih Tzus around the hips. For Courtney Love, this is an improvement.

Friday Caption Contest: Capote!

Do your best/worst with our precious little literatus here. Isn’t he just adorbz? He was so cute before the bloat and the gin blossoms got him, but then, weren’t we all?

He's a little twee for me. It's Tru.

He's a little twee for me. It's Tru.

Escándalo en Vancouver Fashion Week!

VFW

You can tell she's a Canadian model because she's smiling

I keep telling people that Canadians are the most passive-aggressive people in the world (why else do you think we’re so polite? To set up the zings better) and nobody believes me. Maybe after reading this tale of tears, treachery, and trickery at Vancouver Fashion Week, you’ll take my word for it.

Noël’s inexperience with financial administration resulted in an embarrassingly public scandal—on October 2 of 2009, credit card fraud allegations shut down BC Fashion Week mid-runway show, under the supervision of RCMP officers…[literally, they busted up the show and took to the runway. No word on whether or not they “sashayed”]

Perhaps chief among the practical problems is the way Vancouver Fashion Week presents itself as a recognized “global platform for designers, buyers, media representatives, and sponsors,” but its early November dates position it too late in the season for the aforementioned all-important fashion buyers. Add to this the fact that the self-described “global platform” is frequently derided as having “high school” production values, including the fact that last year, aspiring models were “hired” via Craigslist. “I was paid $700 [in total] to model in their first year,” says one London-based catwalker familiar with the Vancouver scene, “and I think that was the last year they paid anyone.”

No wonder we’re the third worst-dressed city in the world.

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