Sure, it’s tempting to follow Sarah Jessica Parker’s horticultural ways but you better stop and think about what you’re getting yourself into. Can you handle the undergrowth? If your pruning skills aren’t up to scratch, it could take days to hack yourself out of there.
No doubt about it, plaid is set to rule the arid steppes of Boratland once again! Only question is: how much (or little) crotch space works for you?
Well, wouldn’t you be bursting into a fit of giggles too if there was a constant tickling sensation around your neck and shoulders? And if someone turned up to the premiere of a movie called “Blindness” dressed like this?
Which of the above appeals to your innate sense of style more? From this simple test alone, we can determine whether you forge new paths in fashion trends or are content to be one of the herd!
Indiana Jones and the Fortress of Suckitude? (AgentBedhead)
Cindy Crawford and the Potion of Immortality (IBBB)
Ashley Olsen: “Small world, isn’t it?” Elizabeth Hurley: “Too small for the two of us” (CelebritySmack)
That woman is old enough to be your granddaughter, George Clooney! (DListed)
This is how we say goodbye in Hollywood (Defamer)
Throw me the American Idol pedo, I’ll throw you the whip (GabbyBabble)
Don’t call him Junior! RyRey and ScarJo may breed (DailyStab)
Don’t call Ryan Seacrest Junior either! Although he probably likes it when you do that (CandyKirby)
Hollywood snakes. Why’d it have to be Hollywood snakes? (Mollygood)
Tori Spelling looking rough: It’s not the years, it’s the mileage (ImNotObsessed)
Pubic lice. Why’d it have to be pubic lice? (raincoaster)
Nina Garcia sez: You can’t do this to me! I’m an American! (PerezHilton)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of LaBeoufcake (JustJared)
So once again, law enforcement, what was briefly yours is now ours. Welcome back, Wino (CeleBitchy)
Obama is allowing you to tag along. So why don’t you give your mouth a rest? Okay, doll? (Gawker)
Charity benefits can be tricky things. There’s always a quandary over what’s going to get those wealthy industrialists to notice you more. Do you showcase your boobs by strapping them down in the same manner as the Lilliputians did to Gulliver? Or is it better to hike your skirt up around the armpits and go with the legs instead? Choose wrongly and you could end up going home with one of those underperforming hedge fund managers instead *shudder*.
Boy, that must have been quite an intense haircut Lori Petty booked herself in for. She’s even kept the hair salon smock as a memento of the profound experience. Wouldn’t be surprised to find a giant pair of shears and megawatt hairdryer hiding somewhere in there as well.
Ever woken up with a dodgy eye infection that casts nasty aspersions, in all its festering glory, about where your hands have been? Just reach for that pocket highlighter and go from sickly to sexy in no time!
Remember all those times your mother told you to put on a fresh pair of underwear before leaving the house? With Mother’s Day just around the corner why not make her proud and show the world how well brought up you are!
Q: I am a very busy woman. In between singing, dancing, choreographing and preparing for my upcoming world tour, I don’t have a lot of time for shoe shopping (unlike Mariah Carey). Because of this, I never seem to have the right shoes to go with my outfits. What should I do?
A: Ideally you could abduct The Manolo and bind him to a life of luxurious servitude as your personal shoe stylist. But as a backup plan, you should also invest in a pantsuit of generous length so that nobody notices the incongruity of your footwear.
John Mayer commemorates this day with historic haircut (CelebrityDirt)
Christina Aguilera is overcome at the emotional celebration (CandyKirby)
Asbestos is the opiate of the people…the people who go on Scientology cruises (AgentBedhead)
Madonna and Justin Timberlake entertain the masses (DailyStab)
Let them eat brioche, say Angie and Brad (ImNotObsessed)
Brazilian shoemaker poses with accessibly-priced, responsibly-manufactured footwear (DerekHail)
Britney Spears blew $61 million dollars in one year and you earn no interest on your tax refund (CeleBitchy)
Gadfly of the establishment the DC Madam dies under mysterious circumstances (Jezebel)
The Man keeps the People down yet again (DListed)
Comrade Ricky Martin launches human rights hotline (ICYDK)
Performers reenact the effect of Capitalism on the Worker. Also: hawt (CelebSlam)
People Magazine now the official newsletter of Doublethink (Websters)
The Opiate of the People just got the cover of Time (Mollygood)
SATC collective maintains party line (PopSugar)
Rehab a rehab: do I smell a new Vegas-themed commune? (Defamer)
At least someone was on hand to sound the death knell for protest marches: Million DJ March (Gawker)
Control of the means of production means Stella McCartney will keep you in pretty, lucite chains (GabbyBabble)
The overlords stick together even on AI (CelebritySmack)
If it has sequins, then it must be ok to wear outside the house (even if it’s pretty much just an oversized sweatshirt)!
But how then does one explain the foot bandaging? The result of taking an ill-advised stroll over hot coals or broken glass, do you think?
