Yes, let us all pause and take a moment to give thanks for public figures who know how to dress and behave in public. Unlike most of the others on this blog.

Sharon Stone’s friend Eileen Mitzman proves that crazy celebrities really DO have a meaningful function in society: to make the rest of us look sooooo much smarter and more chic by comparison.

I was about to snark on this when I realized it’s actually the PERFECT remedy to a bad hair/face day. Although not so great for cocktails, unless you’ve got a very long straw.

Well, now that you mention it, it does make your ass look fat.

Has she gone Ray Charles on us, or is that vodka in there?

That’s the only thing I can think of to explain the combination of dark glasses and this top, which I’m pretty sure is from the Garanimals Husky Girl Fall/Winter ’74 Collection.

UPDATE: The Petites version of that selfsame collection made it to the red carpet yesterday, courtesy of Kristen “Colorblind” “Now Stop F-ing Asking Me If We’re Dating” Stewart.

Those have to be the world’s most corrosive pitstains.

Who knew she even played poker?

This is what happens in a Recession, dear readers: laid-off librarians trying too hard to become the next “Schiaparelli of Recycling.”

Anjelica Huston and Charlotte Rampling may not be consuming tobacco at the moment, but they certainly know how to smoulder; add Catherine Deneuve to this duo and you’d have a three-alarm fire.

And yes, I have been reading old Walter Monheit columns, why do you ask?

Spanish Singer Pasion Vega grins with joy as she demonstrates the great advantage of a wrapped, Grecian bodice: when it’s time to dance, you can just tuck your Judith Leiber in beside your implants and boogie worry-free.

Look, Mademoiselle! No hands!