Ayyyy!

At last we learn the backstory to the shot herd ’round the world. Oh Snoop, we’ve all been there.

Claire Danes knows how to work a trenchcoat (Lolebrity)

Celebrities! They’re not like us! They can walk in these shoes! (CelebToast)

The best 404 message online (AgentBedhead)

Om Nom Nom WHA???? (AllieIsWired)

Brittany Murphy, Casey Johnson, Basic Health Rules laid to rest (AmyGrindhouse)

Demon in sheep’s clothing (BWE)

Anne Hathaway flips the bird (BricksAndStones)

Alexis for Alexis! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ooh La Little Girl Lingerie? (LaughingStork)

Kate, I think you dropped something (HolyMoly)

Sandra Bullock will cut a bitch (LitelySalted)

Forget Mischa Barton, try Carole Channing! (LaineyGossip)

Kristen Stewart in court for prostitution (TMZ)

Ralph Lauren snubs in public! (CelebrityMound)

Ellen for President? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Tom Brady’s 2-month-old can run??? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Oooh, ACDC MUST DIE!!!! (CeleBitchy)

Jay-Qui? (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Possibly the most terrifying headline I’ve ever read (CelebritySmack)

Kanye survives horrifying ordeal (CelebSlam)

Bublé’s bongo bowl (CityRag)

Dennis Quaid’s farmer’s tan (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The Real BabyMamas of Atlanta (Crunk+Disorderly)

Brangelina lives! (DailyStab)

Paris has gone to the dogs (DanasDirt)

Nicknames of the literati (Gawker)

The return of PuppyBowl (DListed)

Betty White is terrifying (EvilBeet)

Small Wonder it was cancelled (FourFour)

Janet Jackson is a Janet Jackson impersonator (GabbyBabble)

Best Dressed/Worst Dressed at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)

Snooki’s makeover (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Qween no longer on Scene (INeedMyFix)

How Hugh Jackman rolls (HaveUHeard)

World’s most expensive benchwarmers (HollywoodBackwash)

Flack pointedly does NOT deny Paris Hilton is dumb (HollywoodRag)

Sniff Beyonce for $50 (HollywoodTuna)

KFat achieves self-awareness (ImNotObsessed)

Leif Garrett busted NOT A FLASHBACK TO 1975 (Janet CharltonsHollywood)

Virgins versus Texting! (JustJared)

PETA vs Avatar (Movieline)

Jessica Biel definitely not Jewish (FitCeleb)

Frances Bean taking singing lessons (PerezHilton)

Stock Anderson Cooper Adorable Story (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Russell Brand shoots, scores (UKPopSugar)

Jamaican Bobsled Team not so cool (WizBangPop)

Orlando Bloom is all wet (PopBytes)

Kelly Clarkson in flamewar (RadarOnline)

Re-Enchanted (SeriouslyOMG)

Tila says the butler didn’t do it (ASocialiteLife)

Conan O’Brien’s Valentine to Britney (SquareEyes)

Saffy, darling, are you slumming in this movie? (TenGossip)

John Mayer needs to take off the Wayfarers (TheBosh)

Mischa Barton wins Best Supporting Hose (TheSkinny)

The link to this recipe doesn’t exist, because I haven’t written it out yet, but just make Irish Coffee with maple syrup instead of sugar, and double the amount. While you’re at it, double the amount of whisky, too. It won’t all fit in the mug with the other ingredients, so you’d better put that extra shot in a small glass and maybe just sip it while you mix up the Canuck Coffee. Just a suggestion.

Gezundheit, Pete! (AgentBedhead)

Lily, you can’t smoke and snort at the same time (HolyMoly)

Michael, your career is bong gone (AmyGrindhouse)

Run,  Katie, run! (Websters)

Hey KFed, don’t let your kids run off to join the Circus (ASL)

If you think about it, Madge, that’s incest (Yeeeeah)

Could someone call Christian Bale’s mom to pick him up from the principal’s office? (DListed)

Chrissy, you’re no Terminator (Defamer)

Jen, honey, we’re just not that into bell bottoms (JustJared)

Chelsy, don’t let that one get away (UKPopSugar)

Morrissey, I’d have assumed you’d be at least a 78! (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindz, what comes between you and your Calvins (IBBB)

Gaga, you’re gaga (GabbyBabble)

Dakota Fanning, you go right back into your room and put your pants on (EvilBeet)

Hey, sportsfans, is that what you call a First Down? (CandyKirby)

Denzel, you need to leave some room for my boy Viggo (DailyStab)

It’s not loaded, Jenny (CelebuWreck)

Twitty Milk? The first Social Mediatard of the 21st Century is born (CelebWarship)

Never fire till you can see the whites of their eyes, but of course you can see hers from the Columbian border (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay, they were just trying to be consistent with the labelling of passengers (CeleBitchy)

When you’ve got That Flu, That Flu That Everyone Has Right Now, and you need to get some blogging done, there’s only one thing you can do: mainline the caffeine.

David Bowie, mastermind of evil! (AgentBedhead)

Travolta blackmailed? (AmyGrindhouse)

White people wanted (BWE)

Amy Winehouse sings (CelebWarship)

Tom Cruise unmasks Anonymous (CeleBitchy)

KFat is insulated for winter (GlamBabyBumps)

Katy Perry has good news for girls (CelebritySmack)

The Razzie nomnomnoms are in (DailyStab)

Liveblogging the Oscar noms (Defamer)

Diane Sawyer, drunkard? (Gawker)

Clooney returns to the small screen (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld, astronaut (FakeKarl)

Lily Allen, champion of drunk buys (GabbyBabble)

Ryan Seacrest > Obama (CandyKirby)

Brad Pitt, flasher! (JustJared)

Kiefer takes London (UKPopSugar)

Joaquin Phoenix, perfectionist (HolyMoly)

Sigourney Beaver (Websters)

Amy Winehouse, heroine (Yeeeeah)

Gonna get all Anglophone an shizz up in here! Earl Grey tea and Lavender Scones are my homies.

[does this count as multiculturalism?]

One less Stooge (AgentBedhead)

Tom and Gisele: otherwise engaged? (AmyGrindhouse)

In other slow news day news… (BestWeekEver)

Proof people are prettier at pre-parties (BricksAndStones)

What ever happened to your ex-boyfriends? (BusyBeeBlogger)

K-Fed’s deadbeat luv (CelebWarship)

Colin Farrell is back, bitches! (CeleBitchy)

Jeremy Piven too hot for Broadway? (CelebrityMound)

Kate Hudson picks her next victim (CelebritySmack)

And the spare (JustJared)

Robert Pattinson’s oral fixation (CandyKirby)

Lindsay Lohan’s social media maven! (IBBB)

Grace Jones and Rick James show awards hosts how it’s done (Crunk&Disorderly)

The boozy, lingering aftertaste of the Golden Globes (Defamer)

Obama offshores entertainment for the Inauguration (EvilBeet)

It’s Grace Jones’s world, we just live in it (DListed)

Blaaaaaake, Parooooooooled, trades up (GabbyBabble)

Puma Lily Allen can’t change her spots (UKPopSugar)

Lily’s Cougarman released into the wild (HolyMoly)

Behold Sting, destroyer of dreams (GoFugYourself)

Hollywood incest at its best (Websters)

Donate your used cellphones and cameras to a good cause (FearlessCity)

ScarJo’s snot ’spensive! (AgentBedhead)

Kate Beckinsale picks up the mantle of Eartha Kitt (AmyGrindhouse)

KFed sure can pick ‘em! (CelebWarship)

The 12 Blogs of the Lohan Family (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Santa brought Prince William a beard for Christmas (CeleBitchy)

Winehouse in St.Lucia, not in rehab (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Simpson has hope! (DailyStab)

The Flack Awards (Defamer)

Blogs are dead! (DListed)

War of the Bootsies! (EvilBeet)

Lance Armstrong to be babydaddy (CandyKirby)

Orlando Bloom is a biker for God (JustJared)

Late Christmas present (UKPopSugar)

and another pressie (SeriouslyOMG)

One more reason to hate Paris Hilton (Websters)

The Renaissance of Georgette Mosbacher (WOWReport)

To be quite frank, Glogg is horrible to the point of turning your mouth into a place old spiders go to die and really aught to be the name of a Scandinavian troll of questionable hygene instead of a mildly intoxicating mulled wine drink, but having tasted Glogg the beverage I have to say that I can’t rule out it simply being the distilled legpit perspiration of said troll. I mean, have you put that stuff in your mouth? WHY OH GOD WHY???

Where was I?

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Clark Gable vs Cary Grant (TeenyManolo)

Diddybreath; that just can’t be good! (AgentBedhead)

Poor Miley Cyrus gets hand-me-downs for her birthday (AmyGrindhouse)

America’s favorite felon is great company when she gets a few belts in her (CeleBitchy)

Jennifer Aniston ties one on (Websters)

The Battle of Christmas (AprilWinchell)

Tara Reid Promises to rehab this time for sure (TMZ)

The Devil Wears SeanJohn? (ASL)

The past tense of Reality Star is… (WOWReport)

Disney goes to the Porn Emporium (SeriouslyOMG)

Daniel Craig, 40, rocks the 65-year-old Scottish mackerel fisherman look (JustJared)

Lost Olsen Triplet found! (IBBB)

Brian Grazer donates to the needy (CandyKirby)

Hugh Jackman hosts the Oscars (DListed)

KFed is back, ladies! (GabbyBabble)

At least TWO teenage boys are sick of Hugh Hefner’s lothario routine (Defamer)

John Mayer enjoys Don Rickles’ technique of tension and release (CelebritySmack)

If you ask me, eggnog is the perfect breakfast food. You’ve got your eggs, your protein, your dairy, your fat, your… nog. And it’s even better with a shot of something in it, whether that be espresso or rum or all of the above, which reminds me of the time a woman at Starbucks asked me to make her a “tall, non-fat, non-dairy, no-egg eggnog latte.” To which I sensibly replied, “I’m sorry, we don’t have those, because God didn’t mean for them to exist.”

Not long after that I was given the opportunity to embark on a glamorous and rewarding career as a blogger!

The End of the World is Nigh! (AgentBedhead)

Britney hits the road (CelebWarship)

Britney can’t contain herself! (Yeeeeah)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck hates brown people, Catholics, Episcopalians, hippies, and internationally recognized thinkers (CeleBitchy)

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s daughter comes out (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

KFed’s shocking reality (CelebritySmack)

The imaginary must-read! (CityRag)

Matthew Broderick arrested??? (HolyMoly)

Anne Heche is working on replacing what she lost (DailyStab)

The role Jack Black was born to play! (AmyGrindhouse)

Priscilla Presley and David Archueleta in the May/December version of Twilight (DListed)

Nicole Kidman can work wonders with Christmas wrapping paper (EvilBeet)

Ben Affleck in: Celebrity Danger Dad! (HollywoodOffender)

Save NeNe! (CandyKirby)

That annual tradition: The 12 Days of Harriet Carter Christmas! (IBBB)

London goes dark for Twilight (UKPopSugar)

Grammy nominations are in! (PopBytes)

Jimmy Kimmel kills an old lady (SeriouslyOMG)

It was THAT kind of day.

Charo needz ur luv (Lolebrity)

The Bride of Wildenstein walks among us! (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay Lohan can’t walk, but she sure can throw a punch! (IBBB)

Mariah’s doggy don’t (DListed)

George Takei’s wedding picture (Websters)

It’s the Beverly Hills Chihuahua premiere, bitch (BWE)

Blaaaaaaake, Incarcerated, turns down freedom (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt will haXXor ur az, n00b! (Reuters)

It’s Brangelina’s world. We just blog in it (DailyStab)

Will Smith still down with Xenu (HuffPo)

Even Sienna Miller’s fans hate her (AgentBedhead)

Amy Poehler leaving SNL (CelebritySmack)

Tilda Swinton’s homelife remarkably deprived (HolyMoly)

Crusty, upper-clawss Brit Madonna may perhaps not be a Republican (Defamer)

The Sarah Palin baby name generator! (PolitTskTskTsk)

Madonna sez: how was what? (CandyKirby)

Kevin Federline celebrates his sons’ birthdays in style. In absentia (Mollygood)

Is Britney taking candy from strangers? (JustJared)

Kief is the Chief (UKPopSugar)