To be quite frank, Glogg is horrible to the point of turning your mouth into a place old spiders go to die and really aught to be the name of a Scandinavian troll of questionable hygene instead of a mildly intoxicating mulled wine drink, but having tasted Glogg the beverage I have to say that I can’t rule out it simply being the distilled legpit perspiration of said troll. I mean, have you put that stuff in your mouth? WHY OH GOD WHY???

Where was I?

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Clark Gable vs Cary Grant (TeenyManolo)

Diddybreath; that just can’t be good! (AgentBedhead)

Poor Miley Cyrus gets hand-me-downs for her birthday (AmyGrindhouse)

America’s favorite felon is great company when she gets a few belts in her (CeleBitchy)

Jennifer Aniston ties one on (Websters)

The Battle of Christmas (AprilWinchell)

Tara Reid Promises to rehab this time for sure (TMZ)

The Devil Wears SeanJohn? (ASL)

The past tense of Reality Star is… (WOWReport)

Disney goes to the Porn Emporium (SeriouslyOMG)

Daniel Craig, 40, rocks the 65-year-old Scottish mackerel fisherman look (JustJared)

Lost Olsen Triplet found! (IBBB)

Brian Grazer donates to the needy (CandyKirby)

Hugh Jackman hosts the Oscars (DListed)

KFed is back, ladies! (GabbyBabble)

At least TWO teenage boys are sick of Hugh Hefner’s lothario routine (Defamer)

John Mayer enjoys Don Rickles’ technique of tension and release (CelebritySmack)

If you ask me, eggnog is the perfect breakfast food. You’ve got your eggs, your protein, your dairy, your fat, your… nog. And it’s even better with a shot of something in it, whether that be espresso or rum or all of the above, which reminds me of the time a woman at Starbucks asked me to make her a “tall, non-fat, non-dairy, no-egg eggnog latte.” To which I sensibly replied, “I’m sorry, we don’t have those, because God didn’t mean for them to exist.”

Not long after that I was given the opportunity to embark on a glamorous and rewarding career as a blogger!

The End of the World is Nigh! (AgentBedhead)

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Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s daughter comes out (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

KFed’s shocking reality (CelebritySmack)

The imaginary must-read! (CityRag)

Matthew Broderick arrested??? (HolyMoly)

Anne Heche is working on replacing what she lost (DailyStab)

The role Jack Black was born to play! (AmyGrindhouse)

Priscilla Presley and David Archueleta in the May/December version of Twilight (DListed)

Nicole Kidman can work wonders with Christmas wrapping paper (EvilBeet)

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Save NeNe! (CandyKirby)

That annual tradition: The 12 Days of Harriet Carter Christmas! (IBBB)

London goes dark for Twilight (UKPopSugar)

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It was THAT kind of day.

Charo needz ur luv (Lolebrity)

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Lindsay Lohan can’t walk, but she sure can throw a punch! (IBBB)

Mariah’s doggy don’t (DListed)

George Takei’s wedding picture (Websters)

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Crusty, upper-clawss Brit Madonna may perhaps not be a Republican (Defamer)

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Madonna sez: how was what? (CandyKirby)

Kevin Federline celebrates his sons’ birthdays in style. In absentia (Mollygood)

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Kief is the Chief (UKPopSugar)

David Hasselhoff stars in It Came from the D-List! (Lolebrity)

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Gossip Blogger in My So-Called Life (raincoaster)

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Corey vs Corey (Defamer)

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Britney and KFed in Agreement (ImNotObsessed)

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Flavor Flav in Articulate (Mollygood)

Kelly Osbourne in Stripes (UKPopsugar)

Ashanti in Chintz (Crunk&Disorderly)

Matthew McConaughey in Better Late Than Never (CeleBitchy)

Blaaaaaaaaake in Carcerated! (DListed)

Amy Winehouse sez da hyer da hair, da clowser too gawd (Lolebrity)

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Agyness Deyn Punk’d (CelebWarship)

Model/Actress/Whatevers climb the greasy pole for Kid Rock (AgentBedhead)

Chevy Chase misplaces bouquet garni de BC (Defamer)

Perez Hilton, the opera (Gawker)

Pete and Ashlee went to the doctor (DailyStab)

Gavin Rossdale turns his back on his musical roots forever. And the ska punks will never speak to him again (ImNotObsessed)

R Kelly not guilty (CelebritySmack)

Who rocked the beaver better? (CandyKirby)

George Clooney’s Italian villa has interesting…manscaping? (TheBastardly)

Sean Connery suffers golfing injury, breaks foot, shatters my James Bond illusions (DListed)

10 reasons not to watch Will Smith’s new movie (Derober)

Perez Hilton, Britney Spears, and KFed are all in Vegas this weekend (PerezHilton)

The Blogosphere dissected (Mollygood)

The Shat chooses rug over beard (CeleBitchy)

Erykah Badu gives Bjork a run for her money (Crunk&Disorderly)

Britney Spears has dim inisht car pass city (Lolebrity)

The first Triple Crown win in thirty years? (TheAspiringHorseplayer)

Lindsay Lohan has more lives than a house full of cats (AgentBedhead)

Vin Diesel is a daddy! (DailyStab)

Evander Holyfield nearly loses ear, may lose house as well (CelebritySmack)

KFed will not be bought! Cheaply! (ImNotObsessed)

Click here and watch your ovaries expload: Prince Harry holding a baby! (DListed)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Viggo Mortensen vs Jon Bon Jovi (TeenyManolo)

Willy Nelson is a nut; Jessica Simpson is a speed demon (Defamer)

Lynda Carter reports finding a dead woman in the Potomac (CeleBitchy)

Christina Aguilera misuses the American flag (Yeeeeah)

Jennifer Lopez defects to Moscow, twins nowhere in sight (PopSugar)

Kate Beckinsale is uni-talented (Websters)

They grow up so fast…when their mother is Kate Beckinsale, that is (Mollygood)

Jude Law will have none of your “match the shoes to the outfit” Naziism! (JustJared)

“Do ya feel lucky, Spike Lee? Well, do ya?” (CandyKirby)

Billionaire Nerd is secret sex, drug fiend (PerezHilton)

The first rule of Metallica is, you don’t talk about Metallica (Idolator)

Sulu picks a stardate, sets a course for lurve! (SeriouslyOMG)

Gina Gershon will have you know she has standards! (GenosWorld)

George Clooney’s castoffs fall to Earth in Las Vegas (CandyKirby)

Giant genie caught in Naomi Campbell’s gravitational field (CelebuWreck)

What planet is Amy Winehouse on? (POTP)

On what planet is KFed the best dad? (OK)

Hot 100 lists according to lesbians, gays, lad mags, and rags read only at the hairdresser’s (Buzzfeed)

Spaciest celebrity excuses (Gawker)

Jason Beghe is one brave Thetan (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise eats Thetans for breakfast (lolebrity)

Kirsti Alley’s body Thetans apparently breeding like rabbits (Yeeeeah)

The stratosphere’s the limit for Brangelina baby pic prices (DailyStab)

Alien Janet Jackson surprises Flat Earther Sherri Shepherd (AllieIsWired)

Tatum O’Neal’s excuses are out of this world (CelebritySmack)

Gwyneth Paltrow doing her bit to repopulate the Earth (ImNotObsessed)

Selma Blair rejects cyborg parts (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Space coordinates of Heaven brought to you by Ashley Tisdale and a deodorant (JustJared)

Captain Kirk wants YOU! And your friend over there… (Defamer)

Blind-or-maybe-just-nearsighted Item: Jason Lewis’s stinky ex (AgentBedhead)

Christina Ricci cat iz disapprovin (Lolebrity)

George Clooney is a free man! (CelebritySmack)

Woody Harrelson, recreational hunger striker (HolyMoly)

David Banda now officially belongs to Madonna (DListed)

Kim Cattrall is ready for a SATC rematch sequel! (ImNotObsessed)

Bale’s tale of batshiat batsuit costume claustrophobia (DailyStab)

Rachel Ray, terrorist (HollywoodBackwash)

Dad of the Year KFed loses one of the brood at Disneyland (HollyWire)

Mariah Carey pitches…I always thought she was more of a catcher? (CandyKirby)

Gary Dourdan admits guilt (POTP)

Celebrity tattoo horror show (Defamer)

Not just pretzels: President Bush’s history of substance abuse? (Gawker)

Ashlee (Simpson-)Wentz is sperminated (EvilBeet)

Jessica Biel is still prettier than you (Websters)

Amy Winehouse’s babysitter fired for crack, her lyrics being studied at Cambridge. You know. The usual (UKPopSugar)

Is Kate Hudson dating for revenge? (CeleBitchy)