Ayyyy!

Ginny Weasley aughtta lay the Cruciatus Curse on her stylist (GoFugYourself)

The return of Posh and Becks (DailyStab)

$400,000 for cosmetic work and none leftover to do her roots (SeriouslyOMGWTF?)

Mug Shots of the Rich and Infamous, the Slideshow! (Turtlebutt)

Bernhard Willhelm designs not exactly flying off the shelves (The Guardian)

Johnny Rotten vs Sting: An Oldies Grudge Match! (AgentBedhead)

Howard Stern sues Rita Cosby for $60 million (Defamer)

Britney’s new, unimproved life (CelebritySmack!)

Britney is no Garbo, Chris Crocker (Dlisted)

Britney doesn’t have her kids, but she’ll always have a sex tape rumour (HolyCandy)

Eva Longoria’s Paris Hilton sex tape spoof (I’mNotObsessed)

Good news for Amy Winehouse! Her husband abandoned her (PopOnThePop)

H.O. claiming bloom off George Clooney’s rose (HollywoodOffender)

Lindsay Lohan goes pumpkin-picking with a commando (CelebDirtyLaundry)

AshKutch/DeMoore take in a game (LaineyGossip)

Eva Longoria’s dirty home movies? (DailyStab)

Right Now, Van Halen still rocks (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise’s enemies spontaneously repent, off selves (CeleBitchy)

Spice Girls sell out (CelebritySmack)

Britney doesn’t need a babysitter anymore, y’all! (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney’s scofflaw ways that lost her kids (GabbyBabble)

But she’ll always have the Just Britney art show (WOWReport)

Keith Urban’s motorcycle wipeout (ICYDN)

Mary-Kate thinks she’s God, possibly inhaled (NYDN)

It’s Take Your Shiloh to Work Day for Brangelina (AllieIsWired)

Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom together again for the first time (HolyCandy)

The (d)evolution of Carrot Top (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ben- blames -Nifer for failure (HollywoodOffender)

Pamela Anderson engaged to Paris’ pornographer  (Yeeeah)

Katie Holmes “acts,” forgets to move facial muscles (LaineyGossip)

David Letterman welcomes Paris Hilton, wipes floor with her (Defamer)

So the rumor that someone has put a hit out on Kevin Federline seems to be untrue, and I for one am glad.

While I am not a huge supporter of the man who most likely smells like a potent combination of stale tube socks and astroglide, I cannot help but think that murder isn’t really the way to go on this one.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a drunken, panty-less vendetta as much as the next girl, but K-Fed has given us so much –and we don’t just mean that weird rash shaped like Hugh Laurie’s head from that time we used the unisex after him at the airport…no, he’s made me believe in America again.

I mean, where but the good ole Yoonited States can a stoat-faced backup dancer whose only talent is put in grave peril every time he gets enough quarters to ride the K-Mart bouncy horse, grow up to marry America’s favorite lip-synching, python-dancing, pop-and-locking fake virgin?

So I say to Kevin “Possum Toof” Federline: you may be as simple as you are unclean, but you’re what makes this country great. Quaff deeply, sir. Quaff deeply for America.

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James are puck bunnies (Daily Stab)

Britney: fired, barred, ejected, dangerous, subpoena’d, custodyless, and still stuck with Federline (Agent Bedhead)

Sugababes vs James Blunt, pot vs kettle (Celebrity Smack)

Mary-Louise Parker adopts a baby (We Love Celebs)

Sally Field’s bleep is the quote o’ the day (GabbyBabble)

Barry Manilow vs Elizabeth Hasselbeck (Gone Hollywood)

David Beckham joins the Men in Black (Holy Candy)

Lindsay Lohan’s street style (Cityrag)

Keira Knightly is HUUUUUUGE! (I’m Not Obsessed)

Tori Amos serenades Britney Spears (LA Rag Mag)

Angelina Jolie trips out at Disneyland (Pop on the Pop)

Chloe Sevigny’s rehab-themed photoshoot for Harper’s Bazaar (Hollywood Backwash)

Paula Abdul and her metrosexual man (HolyMoly)

Jennifer Garner is the superfantastic! (Popsugar)

Ozzie and Sharon’s new crib (WizbangPop)

Shia Le Buff (WOW Report)

O.J. has a girlfriend? (Glossip)

Sharon Stone does Dior (Players, Haters, and Imitators)

Chris Crocker-themed Myspace graphics (MyMyspace)

Manolo says, aside from the intellect, the talent, the wit, the style, the cosmopolitanism, and the immense cultural impact of Capote, they are practically identical!