Ayyyy!

In the spirit of Celebrity Dad Faceoff and The Monday Hotness, and with an acknowledging fist-bump to the literary meme going around the Manolosphere, we present Hump Day Links. Uh, no reason I chose that title.

And for, uh, no particular reason other than – ah – my proper esteem for public intellectuals, today I present:

The Men of Vanity Fair

Michael Lewis

William Langewiesche

Sebastian Junger

Uhhh, what was I saying? Right, public intellectuals and literacy and all like that there. Yeah, Dorothy Parker is my homegirl.

I don’t know about you, but I could use a refreshing Cold Shower after that! Now, to the hunk hump links!

Cool nekkid vamps (AgentBedhead)

Guess the hottie (AmyGrindhouse)

Soon to be the biggest-selling gift item ever (BricksAndStones)

Dexter, killer dad (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tots for t*ts (LaughingStork)

RPattz just needs the love of a good six-pack (CeleBitchy)

Clooney, Crawford, and choppers (AccidentalSexiness)

Tom Brady’s sports sisters (CelebritySmack)

Gerard Butler forecasts hot and humid! (TenGossip)

Simon Cowell takes another victim (DailyStab)

Sherlocked Up Holmes (Gawker)

Peter Andre loses 140lbs (GabbyBabble)

Douglas Family Values (EvilBeet)

Gerard Butler has something to tell you (DListed)

Justin Timberlake hits the Open Road (INO)

Leo, topless (JustJared)

The man who invented Himbos (Movieline)

Heath Ledger’s King Rat (UKPopSugar)

Jack Nicholson, party animal (SeriouslyOMG)

It’s a MAN, BABY! (HolyMoly)

Ryan Reynolds, topless (Websters)

Oh, and uh, Graydon Carter, of course:

I’m on what I call the Diva Diet: I don’t eat fattening food or drink alcohol unless someone else pays for it. That way, it has no calories! And most particularly, a Sapphire Collins has even fewer, because every fool knows bubbles are calorie-free!

Link Challenge: Booze!

Megan Fox was sotally tober when she said that (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse boozed (AmyGrindhouse)

Brooke Shields defends the Paladin of Pisco, her Saviour of Sake, her Kamikaze Knight (BusyBeeBlogger)

Octomom isn’t drunk, just crazy (CeleBitchy)

Has Meghan McCain gotten into Mom’s pillbox? (NYDN)

Boy George’s sobering good looks (CelebritySmack)

Lady Gaga, straight up (BST)

STOP THE PRESSES VICTORIA BECKHAM IN FLATS (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Emmy Rossum pulled over, apparently just in time (CelebuWreck)

This video is psychoactive (Crunk+Disorderly)

LiLo to sober up? (DailyStab)

Ho, Ho, Ho, somebody got into the leftover eggnog (Gawker)

Is that a mickey in your pocket or are you just Come On, Get Happy to see me? (DListed)

Bennifer 2.0 on the rocks? (EvilBeet)

George Clooney is a tall drink of … where was I? (INO)

A sobering thought for Brooke Hogan (IBBB)

Dear Miss California, have a cocktail and calm down (JustJared)

Confucius sez just because there is vodka in the Green Room, doesn’t mean you have to drink it (PerezHilton)

Tarantino transvestites, tipples (FAB)

Medical emergency: blogger needs cocktail STAT! (Websters)

Is anyone sober on Twitter? (SeriouslyOMG)

Adam Lambert’s fans are drunk on his love (TenGossip)

Shitney Beers is the fiercest hillbilly trannie! (OMG)

Working till dawn and need a little pick-me-up? You could do worse than a Tequila Sunrise. Or maybe you couldn’t?

Tequila is really like a choose-your-own-adventure novel except everyone has the same ending:

Emotionally distraught-> drinking in large quantities sounds like a good idea -> you are so not getting back together with this person so stop trying -> puke.

You’re barely legal -> cheap shots at the bar provided by strangers -> dancing on said bar -> puke.

Where was I? For some reason really fuzzy this morning…

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Burton vs McQueen (TeenyManolo)

Paris Hilton, Global Village Idiot (Websters)

Gamer on! (TenGossip)

Affleck amok! (ASL)

Channing Tatum Fighting! (JustJared)

A minute Mike Myers moment (SeriouslyOMG)

Kate Winslet vs the Daily Mail (INO)

Holy cow (WizbangPop)

Kate Moss needs help finding a man (UKPopSugar)

Jack Black’s on-set orgy (GetLippy)

Rihanna, pixillated (HolyMoly)

Karl Lagerfeld on Twitter (FakeKarl)

anal bleaching is the new Kazakhstan? (Movieline)

Megan Fox is, like, smart (EvilBeet)

Intern George’s Fug cocktail (GoFugYourself)

Free Chocolate (DailyStab)

Stark Trek trailer (AgentBedhead)

The Oprah riots, dissected (AmyGrindhouse)

Katy Perry is on fiyah! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Porn star or network anchor quiz (Gawker)

When you’ve got That Flu, That Flu That Everyone Has Right Now, and you need to get some blogging done, there’s only one thing you can do: mainline the caffeine.

David Bowie, mastermind of evil! (AgentBedhead)

Travolta blackmailed? (AmyGrindhouse)

White people wanted (BWE)

Amy Winehouse sings (CelebWarship)

Tom Cruise unmasks Anonymous (CeleBitchy)

KFat is insulated for winter (GlamBabyBumps)

Katy Perry has good news for girls (CelebritySmack)

The Razzie nomnomnoms are in (DailyStab)

Liveblogging the Oscar noms (Defamer)

Diane Sawyer, drunkard? (Gawker)

Clooney returns to the small screen (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld, astronaut (FakeKarl)

Lily Allen, champion of drunk buys (GabbyBabble)

Ryan Seacrest > Obama (CandyKirby)

Brad Pitt, flasher! (JustJared)

Kiefer takes London (UKPopSugar)

Joaquin Phoenix, perfectionist (HolyMoly)

Sigourney Beaver (Websters)

Amy Winehouse, heroine (Yeeeeah)

Well, if this doesn’t get me fired, nothing will.

Ashlee Simpson tries to rent out Bronx (CelebWarship)

RIP Bettie Page (BusyBeeBlogger)

Usher ushers in another son (BlackCelebrityKids)

The palace takes protective measures against Paris Hilton (TheBlemish)

Viggo relives WWII (HolyMoly)

At last: proof Lily Allen wears underwear (SeriouslyOMG)

Clay Aiken is a lucky, lucky man (POTP)

Ho, ho, ho, George Clooney (AgentBedhead)

Merry Christmas, y’all! (AmyGrindhouse)

Desperate fabric shortage in Russia! (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

The REAL reason Hollywood is going on strike! (CelebuWreck)

Paris Hilton claims she’s proof blondes aren’t dumb (CeleBitchy)

Jerry Springer, however, shows unexpected signs of intelligence (CelebritySmack)

Demi Lovato needs a better PR (EvilBeet)

Karl’s Kristmas Karols (FakeKarl)

The Golden Globes nominations (CandyKirby)

These are the greatest church jokes? (IBBB)

Who’s your favorite British man? (UKPopSugar)

Because if you can’t afford a fireplace the next best thing is a pot of smoky Russian Caravan and a book of ghost stories on a cold night. Or Trent Reznor. Trent Reznor is good on a cold night…or so I’ve heard!

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Clark Gable vs Jimmy Stewart (TeenyManolo)

ScarJo rocks the Mother Of The Bride look (Websters)

Amy Winehouse is back to the salt mines (SocialiteLife)

Boy George really DID want to hurt him (CeleBitchy)

Search for the real killers interrupted for next 33 years (SeriouslyOMG)

Justice for Cate Blanchett (PopBytes)

Anna Wintour still destroying the dreams of America’s best and brightest (WizBangPop)

George Clooney, Socialite for Africa (UKPopSugar)

Queen Oprah crowned (PerezHilton)

Nicole Kidman is stuck on Sunday (ImNotObsessed)

Full House refilled (IBBB)

Clay Aiken does not <3 Kathy Griffin (CandyKirby)

Jamie Lynn Spears’s doctor sucks (GabbyBabble)

The reports of the death of the gossip blogosphere have been greatly exaggerated (EvilBeet)

Yet another reason to hate Katherine Heigl (Defamer)

Bettie Page had a heart attack! (CelebritySmack)

Pete=Pete?!?!?!?! (AgentBedhead)

Well, what else are you going to drink on Thanksgiving? Those Shirley Temples Aunt Flossie mixes are way too strong!

Mariah Carey is thankful Ellen doesn’t ask too many questions (Websters)

Axl Rose, however, is ungrateful (SeriouslyOMG)

Be thankful this guy isn’t following you down a dark alley (UKPopsugar)

Be glad your name isn’t something as dumb as Bronx Mowgli (Mollygood)

Josh Duhamel gives thanks for polar bears (JustJared)

I am grateful for entertaining double entendres (JustJaredJr)

Zac Braff is thankful for his newfound freedom (ImNotObsessed)

Millions of men grateful for Natalie Portman’s failure to understand (CandyKirby)

Be thankful this dude is not your dad! (People)

Happy Thanksgivingmass (IBBB)

Celebs share their Thanksgiving turkeys with us! (Defamer)

What celebs are grateful for (ONTD)

I’m grateful I’m not these people’s Thanksgiving dinner guest (DailyStab)

Rejoice! They finally found a use for Barney! (CelebritySmack)

Be grateful you didn’t have Sarah Larson’s terrible burdens (CeleBitchy)

And be grateful you’re not Rachel Johnson, winner of the most prestigious award in literature (maybe, maybe not) (AgentBedhead)

Because what with Daylight Savings Time, even your morning coffee is drunk in the dark!

Kelly Osbourne robs the cradle (CelebWarship)

Eminem’s acorn didn’t fall far from the tree (CelebrityDirt)

Jennifer Aniston is Jennifer Aniston’s biggest fan (Websters)

Ashlee and Pete welcome the newest member of the Gawdawful Celebrity Baby Name Club (UKPopSugar)

Joe the Plumber has a book deal (MollyGood)

Cedric Diggory appears to be turning into Pete Doherty (JustJared)

America’s Next Top Recapper (IBBB)

Top 10 celebrity porn names (CandyKirby)

Moulin Rouge meets 80’s hair metal (GoFugYourself)

Rihanna to guest on Stargate any day now? (DListed)

Adrien Brody has a creepy stalker…who interviewed him for The Advocate (Defamer)

Sexiest Men Alive, now with scratch-n-sniff goodness! (Gawker)

The Divorce of the Century has been granted! (DailyStab)

Hugh Jackman overshares (CelebritySmack)

Hinterland’s Who’s Who: The Douchebag (CityRag)

Winona was high when she reached ground level (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Salon’s Sexiest Men Alive for Thinkers (CeleBitchy)

George Clooney supports Movember (AgentBedhead)