Ayyyy!

The Ozzfather: Survivor Micronesia recap (RealityTV)

Margaret Cho is a tour guide in the Tunnel of Love (AgentBedhead)

Quentin Crisps (FrontierFormerEditor)

Pete Doherty stole Paula Abdul’s gloves (Dlisted)

Anonymous vs Scientology, round n+1: Operation Reconnect (1stepbeond)

Cult Friction, Scientology decoded (RadarOnline)

Jerry Seinfeld flips out (Derober)

Lindsay Lohan loses a zero, finds the role of a lifetime (CelebritySmack)

Justin Timberlake was a little bit country when he was only a little bit, himself (AllieIsWired)

Angelina Jolie before she had Brad and rhinoplasty (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Naomi Campbell behaves Naomi Campbellianly again (CelebWarship)

New pic of JLo’s twins: r not so cute akshuly (TeenyManolo)

Larry Campbell behaves Larry Campbellianly at Little League (Bumpshack)

OK what? Suri Cruise returns to Earth; celebrity mags, not so much (OK)

Anne Hathaway’s boytoy arrested for blowing through others’ cash like it was…blow? (WendyWayrad)

Baby wants her back back: entire Beckham family stuffs their jeans (TheRadReport)

Steve Jobs takes on the Big Apple (Wired)

Celebrity moose knuckle (Cityrag)

Happy birthday, Britney! (CircusHour)

Happy birthday, Jamie-Lynn (CelebrityBabyScoop)

George Clooney’s not-so-secret bromance (Celebitchy)

Claudia Schiffer hits the slopes with Mini-Her (JustJared)

Tomorrow NKOTB on Today! (DailyStab)

Whee! Isn’t it fun when George comes out to play, twirling you around until you’re giddy with delight, letting you run your fingers through his hair and then suddenly - in the space of a little gasp of joy - whisking you into his arms until you are so so happily lost in his deep embrace! 

That is until the party-animal girlfriend shows up making you feel uneasy, so you resolve to completely ignore that brazen hussy while thinking up a multitude of catty oneliners like “Pleased to meet you, oh is that the scent of eau de skank in the air?” 

It’s all in the mouseovers, baby! The genesis of the Great Gossip Linkoff here.

Supprtd! (Defamer)

Suckaz! (Valleywag)

Accurst! (Gawker)

Dichotomous! (AgentBedhead)

Saviour! (Celebitchy)

Accident! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Soap-On-A-Rope! (CelebritySmack)

Faceplant! (DListed)

Pooh! (Cityrag)

Duddy! (TheBlemish)

JagermICEter! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Greek! (ICYDK)

Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhno! (Queerty)

Drive! (Popsugar)

Majestic? (GoFugYourself)

Cloooooooooooney! (CircusHour)

Miserification! (Yeeeeah)

Infected! (Mollygood)

Single! (DailyStab)

Caffeinated! (JustJared)

NKOTB!!!!!!! (ImNotObsessed)

Heath Ledger Joker hype no joke (Defamer)

The Spitzer Scandal explained by a toddler (Gawker)

Scientology gets what it deserves: Pete Doherty (AgentBedhead)

Madonna knows her limits (GabbyBabble)

Jennifer Aniston’s publicist strikes again (DListed)

Lohan to murder a Manson movie (CelebritySmack)

Katie Holmes rolls like Lily Munster (Popsugar)

George Clooney’s girlfriend is a model of propriety at all times. KIDDING! (DailyStab)

Britney Spears no longer full of it (Yeeeeah)

Poison drummer poisonous, rapey (CelebWarship)

The Grande Dames of stage and screen make an appearance (EvilBeet)

One Year Ago Today: FedEx and Britney edition (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Oprah helps a girlfriend out (CircusHour)

Chris Crocker finds a new career as a Big Bird impersonator (Mollygood)

Britney to be saved by Lourdes? (Us)

JLo strangles babies? (Jossip)

Wichita, Kansas is not ready for Bruno (PerezHilton)

When you’re a tv star, there’s always someone around to say the bag was his, officer (TheSmokingGun)

Jenna Bush O-Face (Webster’s)

20 most expensive celebrity divorces (CustomizedGirl)

Amy Winehouse is not exactly “clean, green power” (Yeeeeah)

Brad Pitt is not black enough! (PopOnThePop)

We have a Scientologist DOWN! Repeat: we have a Scientologist DOWN! (TheBlemish)

Former child star begins the long slide into bankruptcy, boozing, and B&E’s (AgentBedhead)

It’s La Pequeña’s world. We just live in it (Dlisted)

George Clooney keeps a lid on it (JustJared)

JC Chasez does not Chace Crawford (Mollygood)

Gold digger headed straight for the center of the Earth (DailyStab)

Win a date with Barack Obama! (Stereohyped)

Someone needs to tell Demi Moore it’s just a metaphor (ImNotObsessed)

Lucy Liu wants to be a WASP fashionista popsicle zombie (ICYDK)

Top Model walks? (Defamer)

Most historically inaccurate films (YahooMovies)

Robin Williams soon to be EX-Mrs.Doubtfire (ExtraTV)

Artificial Sweetener Valley High (Gawker)

Tom Cruise and John Travolta abducted by aliens! (CircusHour)

At American Idol, every moment is happy hour (GoFugYourself)

Manolo says, profile in profiles.

The Butterscotch Stallion cannot outrun the consequences of his hotness (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse possessed by demons! (AgentBedhead)

The many faces of Tracey Ullman (Popbytes)

A day in the life of batshiat Britney (Celebitchy)

Nicole Kidman is not nocturnal, nor is she possessed of leathery wings? (WWTDD)

She is, however, visibly different from 20th Century Nicole Kidman (TressedOutCelebs)

Kanye’s girfriend decides he’s still too annoying to marry (Bossip)

Charlie Sheen to appear in his underwear? (ICYDK)

Amy Winehouse is Amy Winehouse’s Dad’s fault (HollywoodRag)

James Gandolfini hospitalized (CelebritySmack)

John Mayer is a pillhead (AllieIsWired)

Celebrity sex dolls (Radar)

Top ten fake celebrity blogs (Gawker)

Posh and Becks are leaving us because we just don’t love them enough. Kidding! (Mollygood)

George Clooney in Darfur (Popsugar)

One we could live without (DailyStab)

Has Sheryl Crow gone Scientologist? (PerezHilton)

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden buy a NYC condo (ImNotObsessed)

Iggy Pop knows you want him (GoFugYourself)

George Clooney, straight up (AgentBedhead)

Mary Ann FTW! (Celebritysmack)

Owen Wilson discovers he’s not Jesus (Defamer)

Discovers he may be dating Jennifer Aniston (Star)

Maybe Ginger Spice is Jesus? (Dlisted)

How to annoy Mariah Carey (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jodie Foster just can’t catch a break (Celebitchy)

Madonna is afraid of you (ImNotObsessed)

Lindsay Lohan is a do-it-yourselfer (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Betty White kicks ass (Cityrag)

Iggy Pop will not be stopped (Mollygood)

Eddie Van Halen is back in rehab (PerezHilton)

Bigfoot invades LA (CircusHour)

Jodie Foster and her sons (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Britney Spears hates her life (PopOnThePop)

Julianne Moore spits on Spitzer (JustJared)

Cindy Crawford’s child is beautiful beyond the lot of mortals (Celebslam)

Your latest “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to marry” rumour (HollywoodRag)

Heath Ledger leaves Matilda out of his will (Defamer)

Tilda Swinton hates Harry Potter (Gawker)

Happy Birthday, Emma Watson (Derober)

Leonard Cohen is a beautiful loser (AgentBedhead)

1 Clooney, 2 girls, and 1 cup (Celebitchy)

A letter to the mad bomber of Times Square (IBBB)

Anne Heche to scare the horses (GabbyBabble)

Crazy Britney Spears has the craziest stalker. It’s kind of perfect (Yeeeeah)

Big Gay Al is free! Star Jones prepares to coug at a singles bar near you (Cityrag)

Celine Dion is Cousin Itt! (CelebritySmack)

Governor Spitzer refuses to privatize his sex life, shares it with downtrodden call girls (Dlisted)

Pierrot clown claims someone was stealing Kurt Cobain’s money (CircusHour)

America’s Next Top Models are America’s Current Slobbiest Tenants (CelebWarship)

Angelina’s baby bump is in mourning (JustJared)

Cocktail waitress gives up job to marry George Clooney (IDLYITW)

Matthew McConaughey wants to name his son after beer (HollywoodRag)

Jamie-Lynn’s baby bump is bountiful (US)

Lindsay Lohan’s next gig? (TeenyManolo)

Top seven Suri Cruise Conspiracy Theories (BritboyLA)

Britney’s about to meet my mother (TMZ)

Natalie Portman wants to give it away (Jezebel)

Joe Francis is about to skip bail (PerezHilton)

If at first you don’t succeed, you marry Tom Cruise (Mollygood)

Should wives of scandalous men stand by them? (CitizenSugar)

Cindy Crawford notches another kill (HollywoodTuna NSFW!)

This just in from Alert Reader Harridan P. of someplacenotinTexas, America.

It seems that our beloved snugglemuffin, George Clooney “admitted” to having a rather delicate cosmetic procedure peformed on his funky bunch that’s “the new thing in Hollywood.” While I have long maintained that a man should feel free to train the dancing bears any way he wants, one cannot but wonder if perhaps this situation might have called for something a little less…drastic.

Ryan Seacrest’s shameful, secret passion for Simon Cowell (AgentBedhead)

Johnny Depp, The Hoff, and the Demon Barber Chair of Fleet Street (Celebitchy)

RIP blues guitarist Jeff Healey (EW)

Marion Cotillard says she was misquoted (Dlisted)

Accidents and babydaddy uncertainty are all in the family: the Spears family (Celebslam)

Angelina Jolie cannot be unsexed (Cityrag)

Scarlett Johansson auctions herself off (ImNotObsessed)

George Clooney doesn’t need no stinking swag bag (Gabsmash)

Sienna Miller loves coke (Ninjadude)

Olsen Twins’s book leaked! (236)

Kate Moss demoted (Popsugar)

Oprah is such a giver (IBBB)

Elle MacPherson shows off her lingerie line (CelebritySmack)

Prince Harry is a cunning linguist (CircusHour)

Sandra Bernhard supports a losing cause (AwfulPlasticSurgery)

Jamie-Lynn is expecting a boy, massive publicity (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Gary Busey attacks children, including Britney (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Jay-Z is accursed, in bed with slave traders (Gawker)

The Real Housewives of New York is unreal! (Jezebel)

It’s called the casting crouch nowadays (Defamer)

Could YOU be Jamie-Lynn Spears’s babydaddy? (Celebitchy)

Christina Aguilera’s boobs are one veiny, lopsided mess (ImNotObsessed)

Ali Lohan wants to be just like her big sister. Only without the mug shots and dry spells (JustJared)

Amy Winehouse has Estee Lauder running scared, yew betcha (Dlisted)

The blogosphere takes a scalp (DeusExMalcontent)

Secrets of Celebrity Swag (Forbes)

The twins have landed (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Owen Wilson to spend another Night at the Museum, six months at my place (MTVMoviesBlog)

Owen Wilson apparently looking up his old dealer (AllHeadlineNews)

Britney went cold turkey for four hours today (Mollygood)

If Jessica McClintock passed out on a Monet… (GoFugYourself)

Tom Cruise is the most popular freak in the circus (CircusHour)

A man who dresses like Perez Hilton should NOT be hating on the Anna Piaggi (PerezHilton)

Keira Knightly is soulless, miserable about it. So are we, actually (AgentBedhead)

Mischa Barton charged on four counts (EvilBeet)

Valerie Bertinelli has a damn good excuse: she was wasted! (CelebritySmack)