Ayyyy!

What’s this I hear about a four-day weekend? Outrageous rumours!

Steve Jobs sez: OBITUATE DIFFERENT! (Lolebrity)

The weirdest Japfro you’ll ever see! (CelebuWreck)

Face it: Michael Jackson is 50 (PopEater)

Pamela Anderson is Botox-free (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Caligula’s horse speaks! (DailyMail)

Tricia Yearwood has instant karma (CelebrityDirt)

When Canadians Attack! Jessica Simpson! (Websters)

The Mandala of Madge’s vadge (CityRag)

Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey sitting in a tree… (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Ewan McGregor vs Gavin Rossdale (TeenyManolo)

The Hillary kerfuffle (disembedded)

Obama’s acceptance speech (FoodPlusPolitics)

Jesus appears on an insect! (Membracid)

David Beckham is afraid of turning into Homer Simpson (CeleBitchy)

The 12-step recovery plan for David Duchovny (BestWeekEver)

Aaron Sorkin will Friend you (Valleywag)

The Collected Facebook Status Updates of Aaron Sorkin (Vulture)

Madonna goes Howard Hughes on us (SeriouslyOMG)

Singer’s uncle off to Sing-Sing (ICYDK)

I will NOT use the headline “Sarah Palin tapped by McCain”!!! (CitizenSugar)

Lindsay Lohan takes a shot at the gold medal (HolyMoly)

Carrie Underwood might have to settle for silver (DailyStab)

Jeremy Piven can’t keep a civil tongue in his head (ImNotObsessed)

No, he really can’t: the collected rants of Jeremy Piven (Defamer)

Blind Item Roundup! (Gawker)

Solange Knowles bans the Big B (CelebritySmack)

The Broony Bromance (CandyKirby)

Big local earthquake. I didn’t notice a thing. Story of my life, really.

Russell Crowe makes his move (Lolebrity)

Jim McConaughey takes the Errol Flynn way out (AgentBedhead)

OJ gets his ass kicked (CelebritySmack)

Duff parents (CandyKirby)

SamRo to dish on LiLo yo! (DailyStab)

Cougarfights of 90210 (Defamer)

What Michael Jackson would look like as a man (Gawker)

Horses sweat. Humans perspire. JLo glows (DListed)

Cracking down on Canucks (EvilBeet)

Pigs DO fly! (IBBB)

Tara Reid is not entirely human (GoFugYourself)

Ellen and Portia’s wedding included cavity searches! (JustJared)

Axl and Kelly together forever? (Mollygood)

Your George and Brad unicorn chaser (Websters)

Venice Film Festival: pretty people being professionally pretty (UKPopsugar)

Kate Moss comes to the realization that models are supposed to be thin! (Jossip)

Hey George I know you’re a ladykiller extraordinaire, but you might want to reconsider making a grab for that particular piece of ass.  Did you see the way she cut through all those Narnians like a knife through butter?

Prince Harry sez: *^&$ primogeniture! (Lolebrity)

Daniel Radcliffe farts PURE LIGHT (AgentBedhead)

Strokes? (BusyBeeBlog)

Britney Spears is so over men (CelebrityDirt)

Sienna Miller’s neighbors support truth in advertising (CelebritySmack)

Hunk @ Large! Tom Arnold is single again! (BittenAndBound)

Behold the power of the Pivert! (CandyKirby)

Celebrity sperm that succeeds! (IBBB)

The Stefani/Rossdale Popstar Eugenics Program presents Gen 2.0! (ImNotObsessed)

Shia Shirtless (JustJared)

This girl has a great future being “professionally friendly” to geeks (GoFugYourself)

Verne Troyer, chick magnet: just call him Mister Tripod! (Websters)

Jack Osbourne goes to prison! (SeriouslyOMG)

David Blaine to be hanged! (Mollygood)

Obama’s is bigger than McCain’s? (Radar)

This is old, but dayum Princes William and Harry are teh hawt! (UKPopsugar)

Lucky lady rear-ended by George Clooney (Defamer)

Brits in America (Gawker)

Just out of curiosity, what IS the Italian for “We’re not worthy!“

Miley Cyrus and her long-lost twin (Lolebrity)

Peter Coyote takes on George Clooney (AgentBedhead)

The John McCain terrorist fist bump (WOW)

10 sexiest humans alive (Pajiba)

Christian Bale arrested for Oedipal assault (Websters)

RIP Estelle Getty (CelebritySmack)

Cindy and Greg Brady do lunch, charity work (SeriouslyOMG)

A man, his wife, and their surgeon (Radar)

Kate Moss is off the market again (UKPopsugar)

Hollywood’s rich list (PerezHilton)

John Edwards triangle trapeziod (NationalEnquirer)

Shia Laboeuf on the run (JustJared)

From the Department of Bad Ideas: Wino to work with addicts (Mollygood)

Jennifer Aniston really shouldn’t be commenting on newspaper sites (ImNotObsessed)

Play the Britney Spears White Trash game (IBBB)

Natalie Portman in Bollywood Blockbuster! (CandyKirby)

A cougar can’t change her spots (GoFugYourself)

Big surprise: Miley Cyrus to film nude scenes (DailyStab)

The Mad Socialite of YouTube is evicted (CelebritySmack)

Top Five Valley Girls (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse sez da hyer da hair, da clowser too gawd (Lolebrity)

Grey’s Anatomy insider carves up Katherine Heigl (SeriouslyOMG)

Liberace reincarnated! (GabbyBabble)

Agyness Deyn Punk’d (CelebWarship)

Model/Actress/Whatevers climb the greasy pole for Kid Rock (AgentBedhead)

Chevy Chase misplaces bouquet garni de BC (Defamer)

Perez Hilton, the opera (Gawker)

Pete and Ashlee went to the doctor (DailyStab)

Gavin Rossdale turns his back on his musical roots forever. And the ska punks will never speak to him again (ImNotObsessed)

R Kelly not guilty (CelebritySmack)

Who rocked the beaver better? (CandyKirby)

George Clooney’s Italian villa has interesting…manscaping? (TheBastardly)

Sean Connery suffers golfing injury, breaks foot, shatters my James Bond illusions (DListed)

10 reasons not to watch Will Smith’s new movie (Derober)

Perez Hilton, Britney Spears, and KFed are all in Vegas this weekend (PerezHilton)

The Blogosphere dissected (Mollygood)

The Shat chooses rug over beard (CeleBitchy)

Erykah Badu gives Bjork a run for her money (Crunk&Disorderly)

Kiefer Sutherland, engaged(?) is eager to demonstrate his kwyut diggnitty (lolebrity)

Katherine Heigl bites the hand that feeds (Defamer)

Obama’s firing! Obama’s hiring! (Gawker)

Blaaaaaaaake Incaaaaaaaaarcerated takes out a hit on Pete Doherty (AgentBedhead)

Daniel Craig gives Quantum of Solace the finger, or part of it (SeriouslyOMG)

Why do insects hate America? (CandyKirby)

George Clooney hates fake boobs (CelebritySmack)

Mark Wahlberg and everyone in England hates David Beckham (POTP)

Michael Madsen’s wife beat him up (Mollygood)

Cameron Diaz pitches a fit over a tee (CeleBitchy)

Jolie vs Aniston, coming soon to a theatre near you (DListed)

Alanis Morissette will make you weep for her, dammit! (Websters)

Cat vs Cake Box (CityRag)

Catalogue of the Damned (IBBB)

Clare Danes distains the paparazzi (ImNotObsessed)

Kate Hudson’s son is hatefully handsy (DailyStab)

Lindsay Lohan in Pains (DanasDirt)

Cheeta has been Cheeted! (PerezHilton)

Chris Martin vs Brad Pitt (JustJared)