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Friday Caption Contest Results: Richard Simmons is the new Esther Williams Edition

It’s time to just jump in the deep end and start announcing the winners of our Caption Contests. We’ve got a few to catch up on, so we’ll lead off with our Purple Princeling, the ever-elegant Richard Simmons.

Richard Simmons in the swim

Richard Simmons in the swim

G-dog
October 14, 2013 at 9:36 pm  #

A clear case of spandex poisoning.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to first-time entrant, first-time winner G-dog! And to our talented and lucky winner we will virtually award this magnificent, and completely hypothetical swag:

a super-swanky Spa-N-A-Box Portable Hot Tub! Because you just never know when you might need to get hot and wet with someone you just met in the parking lot at Zumba, right Richard?

Spa n a box

Friday Caption Contest: Richard Simmons is the new Esther Williams Edition

You know what to do; do it in the comments for fun, completely imaginary prizes. And yes, I’ll catch up on our past winners by Tuesday, so there’s still time to enter the old ones!

Richard Simmons in the swim

Richard Simmons in the swim

Someday My Prince Will Come

Prince Andrew Uniformly Attractive

Prince Andrew Uniformly Attractive

Prince Andrew in a sweater could make me sweat

Prince Andrew in a sweater could make me sweat

Prince Andrew fly me to the moon

Prince Andrew fly me to the moon

Alas, by the time he finally shows up, he’ll be thirty years past his best-before date.

 

Prince Andrew today *SOBS*

Prince Andrew today *SOBS*

Although the part about being held at gunpoint as an intruder would be par for the course for my boyfriends, if not usually at their mothers’ houses. Oh, Randy Andy, ou sont les hunks d’antan?

Whatever Happened to: Wonder Twins?

Remember them?

not so wonder twins

not so wonder twins

Yes the two least useful superheroes in history are back, and Ayyyy’s got them! We’re truly excited to see what ol’ “shape of useless rock/form of an emo cloud” are up to lately. We wish them huge success for their new venture, and we really DO think Jayna looks better as a blonde.

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Friday Caption Contest:Dance Party Edition

You know what to do. Do it in the comments for fabulous, completely imaginary prizes.

Britney Lana Matthew

Britney Lana Matthew

Friday Caption Contest: Winona No No

Since our last caption contest apparently intimidated you all into silence, we thought this might work better: a possibly over-Botoxed and apparently alarmed Winona Ryder. Tell us in the captions just what it is that is terrifying this It Girl of 1994.

Winona No No

Winona No No

The last thing the gynecologist sees

Madonna No No

Madonna No No

And right then is when Jeremy Irons knew he should never have agreed to the remake of Dead Ringers.

Happy Birthday, Suzi Quatro!

Suzi Quatro

Suzi Quatro

Happy birthday, you icon of the black leather catsuit and the femullet.

I’ll try not to hold it against you how old you make me feel now you’re turning 62. Please God you’re not wandering a Floridian Walmart somewhere, in search of practical outfits.

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