So just have some raspberry wine and pretend to enjoy it.

Hey, drinking makes you lose weight! (CandyKirby)

Madonna dresses down for Halloween (CelebritySmack)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Aniston living la vida rerun (CelebritySmack)

Un-Leded Zeppelin (GabbyBabble)

Sarah Silverman rolled Mary Tyler Moore for her outfit (EvilBeet)

Generation Xer is the sexiest man in the world! (DailyStab)

All the hot men are “of a certain age” (UKPopSugar)

Baby Boomer turning from sexiest man in the world to most surprised-looking woman? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ringo Starr is bigger than Jesus? (CeleBitchy)

Xtina unleashes Pucci power! (DListed)

Cloris Leachman shows off the moves she learned from Shirley Temple (Defamer)

Jon Bon Jovi once again relevant (IBBB)

The Sarah is a huge fan of self-made millionaire The Ivana (Mollygood)

Twiggy is just naturally thin (Websters)

Jesse McCartney goes Greek (CelebrityDirt)

Isabella Rossellini’s porn quiz (AgentBedhead)

Larry Flynt is behind the Sarah Palin porn movie (CandyKirby)

Would YOU wear Usher’s lingerie? (DailyStab)

Nikki Blonsky commits vagina violence (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Alba in bondage (HolyMoly)

A history of celebrity sex tapes (Bild)

How the Anne Hathaway buttsecks rumour took over the Internet (Defamer)

Hot nuts! (DListed)

Harriet Carter has something for every activity (IBBB)

Thanks to Brangelina, Britney and TomKat, it’s the end of the world as we know it (MollyGood)

Shannon Doherty does NOT approve this sex tape (Websters)

Dirt wins! Mr Clean is dead! (TheBlemish)

Presidential debate drinking games (Buzzfeed)

Katy Perry is the hardest-working fake lesbian in show business (AgentBedhead)

Bruno storms Fashion Week Milan! (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse, Berkeley Square Ball buster! (CeleBitchy)

Blaaaaaaaaake, Incarcerated in his mom’s basement (HolyMoly)

Chuck Norris thinks John McCain will die soon (DailyStab)

Sarah Palin “displays her leadership” in the swimsuit competition (Defamer)

Iggy Pop in Crocs (DListed)

John McCain has a time machine! (Gawker)

The Four Amigos of Anorexia (CandyKirby)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (IBBB)

Christina Aguilera’s lipstick rocks the vote, nearly melts the camera lenses (EvilBeet)

Karl schools the teenage fashionistas (FakeKarl)

Pussycat Dolls putting the “tart” in tartan (GoFugYourself)

Britney’s new look is a Lulu (Websters)

Colbert and Stewart and Michelle and Barack (BWE)

Rob Lowe slays the birds (SeriouslyOMG)

Beckhams in boots (PopSugar)

Are Tinsley and Topper toast? (Radar)

Katie Holmes, blogger! (CelebrityDirt)

Kid Rock is the Schlitz! (CelebuWreck)

No, seriously. David Letterman for President! (GabbyBabble)

Martha Stewart, size queen! (Lolebrity)

Amy Winehouse makes Guinness Book for largest dry cleaning bill (AgentBedhead)

Who’s a bad boy? Patrick Dempsey is! (CelebritySmack)

James Bond gagged! (MikeyMars)

Shack up chez Britney! (HolyMoly)

Captain Jack is back! (DailyStab)

Dog and Bride of Dog: deep-fried beauty, fake and bake fabulous! (CandyKirby)

Clay Aiken’s track record of heterosity! (FourFour)

Ed McMahon, rapper! (Crunk&Disorderly)

Carrot Top is a natural beauty! (IBBB)

Who is Rosh Hashanah? (Defamer)

Orlando Bloom in leather! (JustJared)

Metaphor gets literal on the strangest night of political television in history! (SeriouslyOMG)

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People premieres! (UKPopSugar)

Angelina Jolie is a doll! (ImNotObsessed)

David Blaine blames everything except the Large Hadron Collider for his failure (Mollygood)

Oprah puts Tom Cruise’s foot in her mouth (AgentBedhead)

Air Sex CSI? (CandyKirby)

The secret shame of Michael Phelps (DListed)

Phoebie Price wins one! (CeleBitchy)

Shanna Moakler speaks out about the plane crash (CelebritySmack)

Meet the LizardMan! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The award for best pop video of all time goes to… (DailyStab)

Richest Congressmen (Jossip)

Does Simon Cowell make you randy, baby? (ImNotObsessed)

Top five Emmy quotes (PopSugar)

Gwyneth Paltrow cooks all her own food, employs macrobiotic chef presumably just to keep him off welfare (JustJared)

Josh Groban: laughingstock or genius? (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper’s secret drag show cabaret shame (Gawker)

ZOMG Perez Hilton has a ghostwriter??? (EvilBeet)

The Jamie Lynn Spears porn investigation is NOT what you think (CelebrityBabyScoop)

VOTE CLORIS!!!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

Jeremy Piven bites the hand that feeds (GabbyBabble)

The David Beckham Beefcake Calendar for 2009! (PopBytes)

nb: No disrespect to the lemon curd is meant. I’m sure it’s just really, really friendly.

Zombie Kate Hudson wants brainssssss (Lolebrity)

Metallica hates music downloaders, loves trophy wives (AgentBedhead)

No, Megan Fox, that’s not why people think you’re trashy (DailyStab)

Like father, like son: Ryan and Redmond O’Neal busted for meth (CelebritySmack)

Like father, like son: The Brolins have Bromance (Defamer)

Anne Hathaway is a cruel, cruel woman (CandyKirby)

Anonymous gets Sarah Palin’s email deleted (Gawker)

Stayin’ Alive gets the zombie treatment from Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly (HolyMoly)

Harriet Carter is a fan of Wyld Stallyns! (IBBB)

Britney’s backslidin’ y’all (Websters)

Kate Hudson in London does that “when in Rome thing” (Popbytes)

Top Ten Signs Your Dress is Too Slutty (Yeeeeah)

Yes, it’s okay to hate Gwyneth Paltrow again (PopSugar)

Rosario Dawson shows off her pressed hams (DailyMail)

Meet Sarah Palin’s witch doctor (Mollygood)

Hugh Hefner is a friend with REAL benefits (CeleBitchy)

It was THAT kind of day.

Charo needz ur luv (Lolebrity)

The Bride of Wildenstein walks among us! (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay Lohan can’t walk, but she sure can throw a punch! (IBBB)

Mariah’s doggy don’t (DListed)

George Takei’s wedding picture (Websters)

It’s the Beverly Hills Chihuahua premiere, bitch (BWE)

Blaaaaaaake, Incarcerated, turns down freedom (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt will haXXor ur az, n00b! (Reuters)

It’s Brangelina’s world. We just blog in it (DailyStab)

Will Smith still down with Xenu (HuffPo)

Even Sienna Miller’s fans hate her (AgentBedhead)

Amy Poehler leaving SNL (CelebritySmack)

Tilda Swinton’s homelife remarkably deprived (HolyMoly)

Crusty, upper-clawss Brit Madonna may perhaps not be a Republican (Defamer)

The Sarah Palin baby name generator! (PolitTskTskTsk)

Madonna sez: how was what? (CandyKirby)

Kevin Federline celebrates his sons’ birthdays in style. In absentia (Mollygood)

Is Britney taking candy from strangers? (JustJared)

Kief is the Chief (UKPopSugar)

Blake Lively loves dogs! (lolebrity)

Gary Coleman is white trash? (Defamer)

Dakota Fanning, however, is not (AgentBedhead)

Eva Longoria Parker shills candy (DailyStab)

Bottom feeding on the LA dating scene (CelebritySmack)

Heather Mills is the earthly vessel of the divine principle of Schadenfreude (CeleBitchy)

Torontonian schools whiny busker/Oasis frontman attacked (HolyMoly)

We can’t believe it either, Jessica (PopSugar)

Jennifer Aniston is unbelievably thrilled to see you (ImNotObsessed)

France lays the smackdown on grifting for Xenu (Mollygood)

Smells like tween spirit! (BWE)

Britney Spears cleans up real good at the VMAs (EvilBeet)

This woman’s got her head screwed on wrong (IBBB)

Katy Perry’s stylist goes into production of silk purses (GoFugYourself)

Quote of the day: Katy Perry is nothing but Diablo Cody with an actual stripper’s body, instead of a former stripper’s body (FourFour)

Matt Damon vs Ben Affleck face off! (SeriouslyOMG)

Girls Gone Wild: Disney fake lesbian edition (Websters)

The real father of Bristol Palin’s baby (Radar)

Don’t you have to be a diva to throw a diva fit? (DListed)