Ayyyy!

Today’s token hunk of he-mandom is something of a dark horse in the stakes of studliness; indeed and perhaps unjustly, our man of the day is a perpetual second-fiddle to a classic Himbo, although he’s an accomplished photographer, writer, actor and artist in his own right. Why, he’s even recorded a song that’s had 1.4 million views on YouTube! Click past the jump to take a trip in the Wayback Machine and see our Hump Day Hunk in the unforgettable raiment of his glory days:

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I bet the jail rolled out a red carpet, too. Wet with the blood of the innocents

via: cvxn:worstfuckingideas:whydoihaveablog:

Oh Lindsay, leave it to you to have a perp walk attended by a glitter-tossing entourage. Or, wait, maybe this was that crazy Brazilian religious nut who would shake her head and throw off drifts of solid gold dandruff. And then you’d be prison lovers, and then you’d be released and forget her but remember the name of her good coke contact. That would be so you.

Lindsay Lohan: what a mug! (Lolebrity)
Nicole Dobernig haz a flamewar! (raincoaster)
Lin Yu Chun cheated by plastic doll! (Shoeblogs)
Ransom note art (ManoloHome)
Truck that, chef! (ManoloFood)
Ask Auntie Plumcake (ManoloBig)
A lil drinkie-poo? (TeenyManolo)
I’m at a loss for a compost metaphor here (ManoloBrides)
A hem! (ManoloMen)
Elvis, now with 75% more Awesome (AgentBedhead)
Brad Pitt’s moneyballs (BusyBeeBlogger)
Taste the Gaga! (CeleBitchy)
Glamour model goes too far down the alphabet (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Happy Restraining Order Day! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
There’s something about Zac (CojoStyle)
Inflation on the Jersey Shore (HaveUHeard)
Wino is regressing to fetal (INeedMyFix)
The Brostitute (Movieline)
Guess the guns (PopBytes)
Phoebie Cates is still 18 (SeriouslyOMG)

I THINK it’s just a trick of the light, although nobody would rule out him pandering to his ferociously loyal fan pack of Floridian popcorn-hairs. You’d have the blues too, if someone just hit you in the face with a pair of granny panties!

I was going to make fun of this woman for dressing like a lesbionic Martian flapper, but then I looked at the fine print and realized HOLY SHIT THAT’S VERUSCHKA and she is entitled to dress any way she likes.

And now, to the technology-themed link roundup.

I’ll have you know that Jackie Chan has never seen that troll farm in his life! (Lolebrity)

Is it time to upgrade to a new Mom? (TeenyManolo)

A scientifically-enhanced Madonna choking a chicken (Shoeblogs)

YouTube needs to take the Cure (Manolobig)

Modern superfoods not so super if you ask me (Manolofood)

Weddings go Back to the Future (ManoloBride)

Everything New is Old again (ManoloHome)

A return to classics at Louis Vuitton (BusyBeeBlogger)

Dakota Fanning travels forward in time (CeleBitchy)

Elton John was on hold for 43 years (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kim Kardashian, new and improved (DailyStab)

Modern medicine + Twitter = EW! (EvilBeet)

Kick Ass 2.0 (GabbyBabble)

Alien Couture Blazer of the Future (HaveUHeard)

Canadians are fashion-forward (INeedMyFix)

Internet to blogger, internet to blogger… (IBBB)

Boy George has been using that I Hate Megan Fox app (SeriouslyOMG)

Prince shuts down his website, probably issued press release via carrier pigeon (Bossip)

Trent Reznor is the Anti-Prince (AgentBedhead)

The science of Ozzy Osbourne (AllieIsWired)

Lilo’s twitter account needs an upgrade from “Horribly Tacky” (AmyGrindhouse)

America, at this precise moment in time (BestWeekEver)

Reznor 2.0 on the way (BricksAndStones)

Rachel Dratch 2.0 on the way (CelebrityBabyScoop)

The future of Old Dude tv (CelebrityBeehive)

Hate Megan Fox? There’s an app for that (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Don Johnson is a New Math genius! (CelebrityMound)

Mel Gibson vs technology (CelebritySmack)

Re-engineering the Calendar Girl (CelebVIPLounge)

Practical science for Lindsay Lohan (CelebSlam)

What, there are people who still use these? (CityRag)

Some icons are worth preserving (CrazyDays&Nights)

Thanks to modern science, we know what a catsuit made of Skittles looks like (Crunk&Disorderly)

Colin Farrell looks into the future (DListed)

Blogger vs Viacom (FourFour)

War of the Nerds (Gawker)

Alien Couture of the Future (GoFugYourself)

Cameron Diaz encounters Alien Growth Ray (HollywoodBackwash)

Amy Winehouse’s home-made cigarette carrier (HollywoodRag)

Scarjo channels Bardot (HollywoodTuna)

The Dion Spawn has been scanned (ImNotObsessed)

Tori Spelling has the very latest thing in wheels (JanetCharlton)

Ziyi Zhang transforms into sport star! (JustJared)

Fun with photos (of billionaires and their supermodels) (LaineyGossip)

The internet drives some people crazy (MaterialBitch)

If he could turn back time (MovieLine)

Vintage Bieber. No, that is not a typo (PerezHilton)

Test tube babydaddy Ronaldo (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Amy Winehouse returns to the past as she steps into the future (UKPopSugar)

New priestly crime not the same as the old priestly crime (WizbangPop)

Blogger of the moment, in the mo (PopBytes)

Medical science to solve mystery kidnapping (RadarOnline)

Cedric Diggory is a trending topic? (ASL)

It’s like America’s Funniest Home Videos, courtesy of YouTube (SquareEyes)

Download Sheryl Too Thin and Too Tan Crow (TenGossip)

Cameron Diaz uses ancient sexual technique (TheBosh)

Kate Moss’s better living through chemistry (TheSkinny)

All of YouTube vs Xtina (WorldofWonder)

Twitpics of the Rich and Famous (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

Just in case you’ve ever wondered what our ancestors saw in high-waisted pants, here’s Tom Jones to clarify, in eye-ripping orange.

and now, your gossip link roundup:

Why do they love Michael Jackson so much? (TrueSlant)

Celine and Cher stare into the past and the future (Lolebrity)

Secret Love (TheManolo)

Love animals? (ManoloHome)

Who loves School Food? (ManoloFood)

Love to hate this type (ManoloBrides)

Leg-loving men (ManoloMen)

Which celebrity dad do you love best? (TeenyManolo)

Love the model, hate the artist? (ManoloBig)

Pigs in love (raincoaster)

Shirley loves Kristen (AgentBedhead)

Whitney Port’s new look: Love it or Leave it? (AmyGrindhouse)

Love floats? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Worst Guy in the World finds Love (CeleBitchy)

Everybody loves Susan Boyle (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

We all love to watch Paris go down (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Give your heavy metal patriotism some love (CelebritySmack)

Granny will love this (CojoStyle)

Gerard Butler speaks out about his secret love (DailyStab)

Don’t you love a good Lilo fight? (DListed)

Amy Winehouse, slave to love (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld’s advice on love’s little side-effects (FakeKarl)

Betty White loves LeBron and Cleveland (GabbyBabble)

Britney LOVES her coffee (GoFugYourself)

Rihanna shows the Look of Love (HaveUHeard)

Somebody’s in love with Matt Damon (INeedMyFix)

Mel Gibson loves four letter words (IBBB)

Men love Marisa Miller (JustJared)

Sending our love to Back to the Future: Happy 25th! (Movieline)

Love among the Vampires (UKPopSugar)

Everybody loves Liza! (PopBytes)

Nobody loves Stephen Fry’s new look (SeriouslyOMG)

Related articles by Zemanta

• Tom Jones: Chicken Thief (manolith.com)

I dunno about this new accessory line from Pierre Cardin the master of perfume licensing and the go-go boot. I think he’s definitely lost touch with the world of accessories, don’t you?

Fergie, Duchess of Plonk! (TrueSlant)

Did you say “caged FEET?” (TheManolo)

Gary Coleman: the jive is strong with this one (Lolebrity)

Ashton overshares (AgentBedhead)

George Clooney’s in town: lock up your brunette strippers! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Kristen, honey, it’s only a couple of pictures (CeleBitchy)

Dustup in the Desert! (CelebrityBeehive)

NASCAR loser (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Lindsay enjoys the taste of clean living with Victoria Hervey and SamRo (CelebritySmack)

Canuckistan rising! (DailyStab)

Gaga gaga? (EvilBeet)

Megan Fox auditions for Victoria’s Secret…at LAX (HaveUHeard)

Pink didn’t marry him for his brains, you know (INeedMyFix)

Don’t worry, Madonna will adopt him (IBBB)

Animals at the zoo (UKPopSugar)

So she’s wearing underwear you can see through her dress, that hideous orange-red lipstick I already blogged about, and Uggs. Trying to look on the bright side: thank GOD she is wearing underwear.

Lock this man up immediately! (Lolebrity)

Red Shoes Diary? (TheManolo)

Fake Furniture? (ManoloHome)

Womb with a view (to controversy) (ManoloBig)

Should In-Laws be outlawed? (ManoloBrides)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Antonio Banderas vs Stephen Moyer (TeenyManolo)

Hitler would have LOVED the Bieb! (AgentBedhead)

We’ll never know what Willis was talking about now (AmyGrindhouse)

Kristen Davis abandons Manolo! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Sandra Bullock has superpowers (CeleBitchy)

Britney time travels to 1972 (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Cynthia Nixon has three lemons, and one’s not in her bodice (CojoStyle)

The Serbian Justin Bieber (DListed)

Girl, this isn’t a move UP (GabbyBabble)

Tom Cruise, nobody wants your risky business anymore (HaveUHeard)

Cloris Leachman for safe sex, doggy-style (INeedMyFix)

Related articles by Zemanta

• 4 reviews of Britney Spears Wearing No Underwear (rateitall.com)
• Tom Cruise Recreates Risky Business Underwear Scene — With a Les Grossman Twist! (justjared.buzznet.com)

And defy the fashion history of the last three years.

Normally, I’d say the Gladiator look is completely finito (and not a moment too soon), but for some reason I just can’t place I’m rather inclined to let this particular iteration go. No, wait; I’ve reconsidered. It must all come off right! now!

Hail our Capitalist Tool overlords! (TrueSlant)

Jay-Z is NOT amused (Lolebrity)

EVERYBODY POLKA!!! (TheManolo)

It runs in the family (TeenyManolo)

That does NOT say “cojones” (ManoloHome)

Balls! (ManoloBrides)

How. To. Wear. Shoes. (ManoloBig)

Hail our porn vampire overlords! (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan has a cunning plan… (AmyGrindhouse)

Sex and the City and the supporting cast (BusyBeeBlogger)

They sent them back to the volcano (CeleBitchy)

Fergie, Ghetto Duchess (CelebrityBeehive)

Nicole Kidman’s new shirt stuffers (CelebCosmeticSurgery)

Paula Abdul can’t count? Imagine! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

25 Cent (CelebritySmack)

Liza with a line! (DailyStab)

So THAT’s why Sonoma is popular for weekends away (DListed)

Hail our big-butted overlords! (Gawker)

Hail our Adderall-crazed overlord! (HaveUHeard)

Ol’ Googly Eyes and his Moll from Outer Space at a premiere (INeedMyFix)

Lindsay Lohan in Night Court! (IBBB)

Wait, someone put WRITERS on camera??? (MovieLine)

Jake Gyllenhaal whips out his big sword for the cameras (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

ZOMG Ginny is taller than Harry! (UKPopSugar)