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Friday Caption Contest Results: Richard Simmons is the new Esther Williams Edition

It’s time to just jump in the deep end and start announcing the winners of our Caption Contests. We’ve got a few to catch up on, so we’ll lead off with our Purple Princeling, the ever-elegant Richard Simmons.

Richard Simmons in the swim

Richard Simmons in the swim

G-dog
October 14, 2013 at 9:36 pm  #

A clear case of spandex poisoning.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to first-time entrant, first-time winner G-dog! And to our talented and lucky winner we will virtually award this magnificent, and completely hypothetical swag:

a super-swanky Spa-N-A-Box Portable Hot Tub! Because you just never know when you might need to get hot and wet with someone you just met in the parking lot at Zumba, right Richard?

Spa n a box

Friday Caption Contest: Richard Simmons is the new Esther Williams Edition

You know what to do; do it in the comments for fun, completely imaginary prizes. And yes, I’ll catch up on our past winners by Tuesday, so there’s still time to enter the old ones!

Richard Simmons in the swim

Richard Simmons in the swim

Bradley of Arabia

Bradley of Arabia

Bradley of Arabia

Actually, I’m not sure this IS a T.E. Lawrence reference. Now that I look again and notice the aviators, I’m wondering if it’s not a clever visual referencing of the star turns of both Ralph Fiennes and Kristin Scott Thomas as the doomed lovers in The English Patient.

The English Patient

Croc On!

Croc Fetish Visor

Croc Fetish Visor

All I have to say about this is that it is real, and it is $566.

hat tip/visor tip to Demicouture

Prince H

Prince Heidi Ho

Prince Heidi Ho

HRH Prince Harry of Great Britain. Harry, short for Heidi, apparently. Dare we hope Heidi Ho?

Hat’s All: Philip Treacy

Philip Treacy Chinoiserie

Philip Treacy Chinoiserie

Philip Treacy is to hats what his oft-biz-partner (you have to specify nowadays) Alexander McQueen was to dresses: a supreme genius and a complete loonbat. Fabulous.

Here is his latest show from London Fashion Week. Dibs on the crazy multi-coloured feathered thingy with the iridescent train. Yes, a hat with a train: how could I resist? Although the large double wheel of pheasant feathers is also attractive, but probably only because the way the model is walking the front row of plumes is bouncing left when the back row is bouncing right. I’d have to buy her, and get her to wear it all the time, and what would be the fun in that? Actually, if he could make a leash that matched…hmmm.

Anyway, here’s your video. Sorry most of the captions for the Friday Caption Contest got caught by the spam filter over the weekend. I will have it taken out back and shot, I assure you. Prize presentation just as soon as I’m caught up on sleep!

Watch while you enjoy thumbing through a coffee table book of his best. Actually, they are sort of hats that were always waiting to be in coffee table books, don’t you think?

Friday Caption Contest Results: Nirvana and RuPaul Edition

We’re slowly catching up on our imaginary-prize-giving for the Caption Contests. Come back with us to an earlier time. A simpler time. A significantly less fabulous time: the Nineties!

Nirvana and RuPaul

Nirvana and RuPaul

igirl99
April 2, 2012 at 1:05 am #

They were, without question, the worst Supremes cover band of all time.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to igirl99, a second-time winner, if my memory does not fail me. For her victory, we shall award her a case of black smudge stick eye liner from Stila and the very plaid, very 90′s Eugenia Kim black and beige ‘Sammy’ trooper hat from Bluefly.

Eugenia Kim black and beige plaid wool 'Sammy' trooper hat

Smells like…VICTORY!

Happy Cougar’s Day

Helen Mirren and Judi Dench take over the WORLD

Helen Mirren and Judi Dench take over the WORLD

It’s their world. We just live in it. Sure, sure, only one of them has reproduced, but just think how much greater the world would be if we all had a little of that DNA.

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