Ayyyy!

I really should invest the time in finding a site or two with good nonalcoholic drinks recipes if I’m going to keep up this clean living thing, shouldn’t I?

Uwe Boll will not be kept down (AgentBedhead)

Mariah Carey rocks the Grade 7 look (AmyGrindhouse)

Kiefer Sutherland is calling me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Golddigger dug herself a hole (CeleBitchy)

The Prince of Paris (CelebritySmack)

Eve is transracial (CelebuWreck)

LiRo? SamLo? LOL! (HolyMoly)

Inaho/Kate Moss/sushi; make up your own punny headline (UKPopSugar)

Michelle Obama in Time (DailyStab)

Cher! Xtina! Burlesque! What more do you need to know? (DListed)

Harriet Carter’s magical doorway to the past (IBBB)

When stars attack…fans (SeriouslyOMG)

Is there a telethon for Lambertitis? (TenGossip)

Live without regrets…except that mis-spelled tattoo (Websters)

No, I’m not drinking it. I’m just promoting it for a good cause. One must enter into the spirit of things, as it were!

Dora, the Gender Stereotype Explorer (AgentBedhead)

Chris Brown does not understand the meaning of “misdemeanor” (AmyGrindhouse)

Hayden Pannettiere doesn’t know what she does for a living (CandyKirby)

Britney Spears’s uterus makes a break for it (CelebWarship)

Forgive me, Xenu, for I have sinned (CeleBitchy)

Give me your tired, your poor, but not your Amy Winehouse (AllieIsWired)

Donald Trump talks sense? (CelebritySmack)

The LA Kings are truly desperate (CelebuWreck)

Drew Barrymore’s new job: Kate Moss impersonator (DListed)

Jimmy Kimmel is not f*cking Sarah Silverman (EvilBeet)

Matt Damon, centurion (GabbyBabble)

Reese Witherspoon deliberately upstages costar (JustJared)

The Princes of Hearts at large (UKPopSugar)

Betty White is Always Prepared (SeriouslyOMG)

as if Travis Barker doesn’t have enough problems (Websters)

The best Peaches Geldof beatdown you’ll read all damn day (HolyMoly)

Remember what Jessica Rabbit said. “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way!”

Fergie Ferg, Queen of Etiquette (Websters)

Never look a gift Tyra in the mouth (SeriouslyOMG)

Hayden Panettiere illegal, ejected! (ASL)

Jimmy Carter robbed! (WizbangPop)

Kate Moss’s day into evening look (UKPopSugar)

Ryan Seacrest low-fives (JustJared)

Britney and Justin’s awkward moment (ImNotObsessed)

Whitney Port’s bikini malfunction (IBBB)

A toast to Brad Pitt! (CandyKirby)

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner know Latin! (GabbyBabble)

Lil’ Kim attempts to upstage bereaved family (EvilBeet)

Wedding planning gone wrong (DListed)

Glenn gets too Close (HolyMoly)

Ann Coulter, 47, we salute you (Defamer)

For this, I went to Harvard? (CelebritySmack)

Pete Doherty’s career needs a shot in the arm  (AgentBedhead)

Britney Spears’s four letter lyrics (AmyGrindhouse)

How very shiny and futuristic! The fashion of the future is already here, which means that the fashion of today is..somewhere else? Does this not make you want to cryogenically freeze yourself until such time when things improve, probably in the next millennium?

Been that kind of day. Gossip blog linkination, take me away!

(low standards, I know, I know)

Princess Beatrice duz not has British Teeth! (Lolebrity)

Henry Rollins thinks you’re a twit! (AgentBedhead)

Save the Cheerleader’s Undergotchies! (DailyStab)

Drink beer to become as smart as Jessica Simpson (CelebritySmack)

Get your hands on Matthew McConaughey’s Hook ‘Em Horns (SeriouslyOMG)

Mini Me, Maxi Media (CelebuWreck)

Matt Damon re-dads (CeleBitchy)

Be Nicole Richie’s slave! (BricksAndStones)

Now we know where Cher gets her wigs (IBBB)

Enter HoffSpace! (TheBlemish)

Ricky Martin: Livin La Vida Breeder? (CandyKirby)

This could be the greatest British comedy show ever (UKPopsugar)

Angie Harmon expecting (ImNotObsessed)

The Michael Phelps/Amanda Beard drinking game (ItsCandyTV)

The Legend of Spaghetti Cat (Mollygood)

Harry Potter had “a lot of fun” with Lavender Brown (JustJared)

The love triangle that ate the internet (Radar)

Liveblogging Project Runway (Gawker)

The Periodic Table of Awesoments (TheDapperstache)

Will this performance save Tom Cruise’s careeer? (Defamer)

Ex-Mayor of London begins new, more literal-minded career (Lolebrity)

Kiefer needs soap on a rope! (AgentBedhead)

The Family Panettiere pulls a Spears (CeleBitchy)

Britney finally gets some support (CelebritySmack)

Anne Hathaway nose what she’s doing (DailyStab)

The Royal Ronsons (EvilBeet)

A shirtless, long-haired Jake GyllenwhatwasIsaying? (JustJared)

The greatest movie trailer in the entirety of recorded human history (Defamer)

Hollywood is CURSED! (Gawker)

Angelyne is ageless! (DListed)

The real queens of child beauty pageants (FourFour)

Kelly Osbourne, cradle-robber! (DanasDirt)

Oasis frontman requires intervention for assoholism (GabbyBabble)

Things we didn’t need to see: Tara Reid’s stomach on Lil’ Kim’s body (POTP)

Seth Green, sex machine (SeriouslyOMG)

Bono sans shades!!! The end of the universe approaches! (CandyKirby)

Forget the Montauk Monster: it’s the Montag Monster! (IBBB)

Britney’s VMAs Mulligans (PopSugar)

Protest? That’s retarded! (Websters)

New Dark Knight movie has some surprises (Lolebrity)

Bad Boob(s) launches bad blog (SuperFantasticPlastic)

Guy Richie and Pete Doherty sitting in a tree… (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise, racketeer? (CeleBitchy)

Operation Shitstorm vs Co$ (Enturbation)

Where there’s smoke…there’s an Alicia Keys concert? (CelebritySmack)

McAdams love Gosling 2.0 (DailyStab)

The ghost of Kurt Cobain attempts to tackle an Olsen Twin (CandyKirby)

Katie Holmes does 1990 (DListed)

Jennifer Aniston is purse-sized (IBBB)

America loves New York City! (ImNotObsessed)

Save the cheerleader! from her parking ticket! (JustJared)

Steve Guttenberg unsure if he’s human (Mollygood)

Fake Karl Lagerfeld actually Actual Karl Lagerfeld (FakeKarlLagerfeld)

I don’t know about you, but I want to believe in Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny (UKPopsugar)

Samantha Ronson will do ANYTHING to catch Lindsay’s attention (Websters)

Classic Canadian Cinema (SuperPunch)

James Woods, your earthquake comic relief (Defamer)

Brad Pitt is hen pec-ed (Lolebrity)

Lauren Conrad screws the pooch (CelebritySmack)

TMI from QT (AgentBedhead)

Like a virgin?: topless model and Myspace celebrity Miley Cyrus (DailyStab)

SJP’s mole is MIA (Defamer)

New Jersey’s Confederate Christian manluv (FourFour)

Nelly Furtado’s gorillas attack rapper (GabbyBabble)

Black Canary Barbie not a hit with fundies (DListed)

Barenaked Ladies man is an animal! (CeleBitchy)

Housebreaking ANTM (EvilBeet)

Andy Dick is one (EOnline)

Helen Mirren, 62 and flawless (CandyKirby)

Helen Mirren, not so bad forty years ago either (raincoaster)

Hayden howls (ImNotObsessed)

Bindi Irwin’s relentless plan for world domination (IBBB)

This Bat has flown (DeadlineHollywood)

Banksy says Pooh! (Radar)

PETA has gone too doggone far! (Mollygood)