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Jasmine Tea and Puppies Links

Been that kind of day. Gossip blog linkination, take me away!

(low standards, I know, I know)

Princess Beatrice duz not has British Teeth! (Lolebrity)

Henry Rollins thinks you’re a twit! (AgentBedhead)

Save the Cheerleader’s Undergotchies! (DailyStab)

Drink beer to become as smart as Jessica Simpson (CelebritySmack)

Get your hands on Matthew McConaughey’s Hook ‘Em Horns (SeriouslyOMG)

Mini Me, Maxi Media (CelebuWreck)

Matt Damon re-dads (CeleBitchy)

Be Nicole Richie’s slave! (BricksAndStones)

Now we know where Cher gets her wigs (IBBB)

Enter HoffSpace! (TheBlemish)

Ricky Martin: Livin La Vida Breeder? (CandyKirby)

This could be the greatest British comedy show ever (UKPopsugar)

Angie Harmon expecting (ImNotObsessed)

The Michael Phelps/Amanda Beard drinking game (ItsCandyTV)

The Legend of Spaghetti Cat (Mollygood)

Harry Potter had “a lot of fun” with Lavender Brown (JustJared)

The love triangle that ate the internet (Radar)

Liveblogging Project Runway (Gawker)

The Periodic Table of Awesoments (TheDapperstache)

Will this performance save Tom Cruise’s careeer? (Defamer)

Hammock and Sangria Links

Ex-Mayor of London begins new, more literal-minded career (Lolebrity)

Kiefer needs soap on a rope! (AgentBedhead)

The Family Panettiere pulls a Spears (CeleBitchy)

Britney finally gets some support (CelebritySmack)

Anne Hathaway nose what she’s doing (DailyStab)

The Royal Ronsons (EvilBeet)

A shirtless, long-haired Jake GyllenwhatwasIsaying? (JustJared)

The greatest movie trailer in the entirety of recorded human history (Defamer)

Hollywood is CURSED! (Gawker)

Angelyne is ageless! (DListed)

The real queens of child beauty pageants (FourFour)

Kelly Osbourne, cradle-robber! (DanasDirt)

Oasis frontman requires intervention for assoholism (GabbyBabble)

Things we didn’t need to see: Tara Reid’s stomach on Lil’ Kim’s body (POTP)

Seth Green, sex machine (SeriouslyOMG)

Bono sans shades!!! The end of the universe approaches! (CandyKirby)

Forget the Montauk Monster: it’s the Montag Monster! (IBBB)

Britney’s VMAs Mulligans (PopSugar)

Protest? That’s retarded! (Websters)

Linkslide!

New Dark Knight movie has some surprises (Lolebrity)

Bad Boob(s) launches bad blog (SuperFantasticPlastic)

Guy Richie and Pete Doherty sitting in a tree… (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise, racketeer? (CeleBitchy)

Operation Shitstorm vs Co$ (Enturbation)

Where there’s smoke…there’s an Alicia Keys concert? (CelebritySmack)

McAdams love Gosling 2.0 (DailyStab)

The ghost of Kurt Cobain attempts to tackle an Olsen Twin (CandyKirby)

Katie Holmes does 1990 (DListed)

Jennifer Aniston is purse-sized (IBBB)

America loves New York City! (ImNotObsessed)

Save the cheerleader! from her parking ticket! (JustJared)

Steve Guttenberg unsure if he’s human (Mollygood)

Fake Karl Lagerfeld actually Actual Karl Lagerfeld (FakeKarlLagerfeld)

I don’t know about you, but I want to believe in Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny (UKPopsugar)

Samantha Ronson will do ANYTHING to catch Lindsay’s attention (Websters)

Classic Canadian Cinema (SuperPunch)

James Woods, your earthquake comic relief (Defamer)

Garanimal Links

Brad Pitt is hen pec-ed (Lolebrity)

Lauren Conrad screws the pooch (CelebritySmack)

TMI from QT (AgentBedhead)

Like a virgin?: topless model and Myspace celebrity Miley Cyrus (DailyStab)

SJP’s mole is MIA (Defamer)

New Jersey’s Confederate Christian manluv (FourFour)

Nelly Furtado’s gorillas attack rapper (GabbyBabble)

Black Canary Barbie not a hit with fundies (DListed)

Barenaked Ladies man is an animal! (CeleBitchy)

Housebreaking ANTM (EvilBeet)

Andy Dick is one (EOnline)

Helen Mirren, 62 and flawless (CandyKirby)

Helen Mirren, not so bad forty years ago either (raincoaster)

Hayden howls (ImNotObsessed)

Bindi Irwin’s relentless plan for world domination (IBBB)

This Bat has flown (DeadlineHollywood)

Banksy says Pooh! (Radar)

PETA has gone too doggone far! (Mollygood)

Mother’s Day Hangover Links

Angelina’s family goes Goth for Mother’s Day (BlackCelebrityKids)

Jack White, rock god, superhero (AgentBedhead)

Suri Cruise and Brooklyn Beckham sitting in a tree… (Defamer)

Hip Hop outings: not exactly a trip to Radio City Music Hall (Gawker)

Ben- does not blame -nifer any longer (SeriouslyOMG)

Anna Wintour in couture Cthulhu (POTO)

Madonna is a diva? PERISH THE THOUGHT! (DailyStab)

Busted! Slutty prom dress brings arrest from the (fashion) police (CelebritySmack)

Happy Mother’s Day to two of Hollywood’s finest (CandyKirby)

Hayden Panettiere happy to play for the other team (ImNotObsessed)

Wino of the Woods (DListed)

Kiefer cuffed! (JustJared)

Jenna Bush’s wedding photos (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt’s new body art (SplashNews)

Retouch My Body: the video! (PerezHilton)

Winehouse walks the streets (Mollygood)

A link a day

Perhaps the single greatest concentration of awesomeness in the entire celebrity gossip blogosphere (TaylorMayde)

What IS Dick Cheney looking at? The possibilities revealed (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Karl Lagerfeld’s coke dealer photographed! (Towleroad)

For your next necrophiliac Goth stag party: the Marilyn Monroe postmortem sex tape (Websters)

Pete Doherty adapting well to the bottom bunk (AgentBedhead)

But his ego needs a separate bed (CelebWarship)

Kate Moss dressed for a white wedding (TheRadReport)

Amy Winehouse with child (DListed)

Mariah’s diet secrets have nothing to do with lipo, coke, or diet Redbull. Honest to blog (HollywoodBackwash)

James Blunt is easily hurt (ICYDK)

The Hoff is hawt! (SeriouslyOMG)

Grandma got run over by Timbaland (DerekHail)

Britney Spears to show Chris Crocker how it’s done (TastefulCelebs)

The $90 million per year Chickenhawk strikes again! (CircusHour)

Did a jealous Woz put the hit on Adnan Ghalib? (CeleBitchy)

Jessica Alba visited by the Titty Fairy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Britney gives ME whiplash, too (CelebritySmack)

JLo lost preggo weight, yo. You may now recommence hating her (JustJared)

Save the cheerleader (from the paparazzi) (GabbyBabble)

Hillary Clinton can’t even get a boilermaker right (DailyStab)

Renee Zellweger and the Curse of Bridget Jones (DailyMail)

I Know My Kid’s a Star lets everyone know your mom is a trainwreck (IBBB)

Recession makes Botox unaffordable? Twice the worry lines! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Silver Fox Smackdown: Miss Manners vs Anna Wintour (Gawker)

SATC spoilers. Uh, SPOILER ALERT! (Defamer)

Brand New Links

Drew Barrymore heckles for charity (WendyWayrad)

Naomi Campbell’s body fluids are felonious (CelebWarship)

Woody Harrelson is built, bald, and bare (Defamer)

Luciano Pavarotti pulled an Ashlee Simpson (Gawker)

What are the Presidential candidates like in bed? (TheStranger)

William and Harry react to the verdict in the Princess Diana inquest (PerezHilton)

Botox: it’s all about a jarring lack of self-awareness (CircusHour)

Demi Moore’s bloodsucking leeches (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Victoria Beckham attempting takeover of “Baby Spice” role (Mollygood)

Britney’s partner in fashion crime to be Christian Audigier (Styleguide)

The Britney-FedEx breakup starts a trend (ImNotObsessed)

Kate Moss weighs 98 pounds soaking wet: the proof! (ICYDK)

Like shooting fish in a barrel: Rob Lowe blackmailed! (HuffPo)

Kylie Minogue speaks out about breast cancer (CeleBitchy)

Whitney Houston’s boobs and Dionne Warwick’s face at Muhammad Ali’s Fight Night (Bossip)

Tom Ford is Gay James Bond (DListed)

Britney hitches her star to the comeback tour bus (CelebSlam)

Sharon Stone’s basic instinct is to keep her knees together, thankfully (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Hayden Panettiere terrifies a small child (WWTDD)

Jessica Alba wore black to her baby shower (DailyStab)

Ashlee Simpson vs Mariah Carey (Yeeeeah)

Vlad loves Georgie (KnowledgeIsPower)

Tony loves Georgie (raincoaster)

Stop Uwe Boll, save the world! (AgentBedhead)

V for Valtrex attends wedding (CelebritySmack)

A Pronounced Link

Are YOU stalking Anderson Cooper? How to tell (Gawker)

This Week in Tabloids (Jezebel)

50 films that changed the way men dress (MensVogue)

7 that, thankfully, did not (Defamer)

Steve-O vs KFed; the throwdown (AgentBedhead)

Sharon Osbourne vs Heather Mills (CelebritySmack)

The Celebrity-Industrial Complex hasn’t finished with John Lennon yet (GabbyBabble)

Who wore it best: Katie or Tom? (PrettyOnTheOutside)

JLo is in labour, yo (Celebwarship)

Paula Abdul debuts robot voice in new video (AllieIsWired)

ScarJo and the 10 lamest tattoos in the world (Yeeeeah)

Does Madonna shave or wax her chest hair? (DoodleWhore)

What DID Perez say? (WOWReport)

Elle Macpherson is a wildcat (Gabsmash)

Elizabeth Hurley is a slave-driver (Celebitchy)

Amy Winehouse’s husband pimps her pictures to support his prison overdoses (HolyMoly)

Hayden Panettiere’s Candies (JustJared)

Ex-con approves of nekkid Lindsay Lohan (DailyStab)

Celebrity Drugs and Alcohol magazine (CircusHour)

Cindy Crawford in Mexico (ImNotObsessed)

Is Nicole Kidman risking her baby? (FitCeleb)

Colin Farrell cleans up nicely (Popsugar)

Jessica Simpson hates fat people (IDLYITW)

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