Ayyyy!

Britney busts loose, boots bodyguard (PerezHilton)

Kirstie Alley’s body thetans get the better of her (Websters)

Heath Ledger had ingested the entire alphabet, but it was all legal (Yeeeeah)

Delta Burke is an institution! Also in an institution (Celebitchy)

Mary-Kate Olsen is a purse hoarding hobbit (ImNotObsessed)

Sienna Miller is pretty, useless (AgentBedhead)

Adrien Grenier is veg-friendly (TheMeatScale)

Kirsten Dunst also institutionalized, not an institution (DailyStab)

Jordana Brewster is going to be a star someday… (Defamer)

Christina Aguilera doesn’t NEED your oxygen! (fourfour)

What happens in Miss Nevada stays in Miss Nevada, at least until she showers (Dlisted)

Brittany Murphy is 65, but her lips are only 3 months old (GoFugYourself)

Scientology is one big, dysfunctional family (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse may swap rehab for prison (CelebParasite)

Flight of the (Steven) Seagal (HolyMoly)

Tabloid roundup: the week in oversexed hobbits (Mollygood)

Who wants to look like a celebrity? Everyone, apparently (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld slaver over the juicy, tender souls of the innocent (CelebritiesEating)

Wacko Jacko will crash the Grammys (CelebritySmack)

Republicans and nerds put the “trade” in sex trade (Jezebel)

Bad, bad gossip bloggers (Jezebel)

Paris Hilton stars in the debut of Celebutard Comics! (Defamer)

Bill O’Reilly’s producer attacks homeless vets (Gawker)

Isabella Rossellini’s transgendered insectoid porn movies (AgentBedhead)

Eva Mendes is off to rehab (DailyStab)

Kirstie Alley’s body Thetans get the better of her (HolyCandy)

Sarah Silverman is trading up…to Matt Damon! (GabbyBabble)

Michelle Williams issues official statement (ABCNews)

Is Lindsay Lohan shilling deodorant now? (ImNotObsessed)

Lingerie Bowl cancelled! (DerekHail)

Nicole Kidman shows off the baby bump pea (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Tyra Banks = Gloria Steinem? (Mollygood)

Malcolm in the Middle is dating a Cylon (Websters)

Mississippi to starve fat people (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan at traffic school (ICYDK)

Britney Spears is GD, probably SP as well (Yeeeeah)

Natalee Holloway update (Dissfunktional)

Amy Winehouse downgraded from rehab to hospital (PerezHilton)

Britney Spears’ GurneyGate 2.0 : the timeline (Defamer)

GurneyGate 2.0: The starfuckers speak! (CelebritySmack)

GurneyGate 2.0 was a plot? (ASocialitesLife)

Britney Spears is NOT full of it (CelebWarship)

Justin Chambers is keeping Britney company on the psych ward (TMZ)

Ryan Secrest is a Victoria’s Secret angel (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity day jobs (Cityrag)

Katie Holmes rebels! (Celebitchy)

Xenu strikes back; Scientology centers evacuated (Dlisted)

Jessica Simpson has a well-padded torso (DailyStab)

Speaking of which: quiz: who’s your celebrity boob twin? (raincoaster)

Elijah Wood: hot or not? (POTP)

Rachel Bilson IS the Eighties (GoFugYourself)

Jake Gyllenhaal was stayin’ alive (NinjaDude)

Billy Bush lays the smackdown on Mary Hart over exploitative Heath Ledger video (HolyCandy)

George Clooney is serious, perfect (Popsugar)

Teri Hatcher is a bag carrier (ImNotObsessed)

Behind the masks: Michael Jackson’s children have faces. White faces (Mollygood)

JK Rowling and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat (TheMeatScale)

Pete Doherty at no risk of babydaddyhood (PerezHilton)

Shia LaBoeufcake is horny! (Towleroad)

Clay Aiken is saving himself…forever! (Defamer)

Julie Newmar is Cougarwoman! (Copyranter)

Speaking of Catwoman, Sean Young’s drunken tirade earns her a one-way ticket to rehab (Dlisted)

Craig, Daniel Craig, defends new Bond flick (AgentBedhead)

Ricci, Christina Ricci is groped by an ape (CelebritySmack)

The economics of Amy Winehouse (Derober)

Thank you, Jesus! It’s Viggo Mortensen! (TheMeatScale)

Britney Spears blah blah crazy blah blah paparazzi blah… (IDLYITW)

Ali Larter and the Chocolate Suite of Diet Doom (DailyStab)

Spice and Nice (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Gwen Stefani: baby on board! (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Lindsay Lohan is on and off the wagon like a pioneer with a weak bladder (CeleBitchy)

Eva Longoria uses dead people to hook up with George Clooney? (People)

Con artist poses as Heath Ledger’s dad (NYP)

Sandra Oh, explained (GoFugYourself)

Adrian Grenier’s nuts! (HolyCandy)

Nicole Richie is tiny again, caffeinated again (ImNotObsessed)

Presenting: Britney Spears in Alfred Hitchcock’s The Paparazzi (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Yes, Uma Thurman is, in fact, perfect (Egotastic)

Miley Ray Cyrus is legal in at least ONE way now (Mollygood)

Verne “Mini Me” Troyer ambushed by accusatory paparazzo (PerezHilton)

Crispin “Rat Catching” Glover’s ex takes to YouTube for some teary vengence (Gawker)

Drew “He’s My Best Friend” Barrymore is fully Mac Guy compatible (WebstersIsMyBitch)

YOU don’t know how to cure constipation! Tom Cruise DOES! (Youtube)

And Adam Sandler knows Tom Cruise…or at least is willing to blurb on his behalf (EvilBeet)

The Tom Cruise Scientology video you haven’t seen! (YouTube)(for now!)

Quiz: Who’s your TV boyfriend? (CelluloidBlonde)

Attention bloggers: Adopt A Writer! (AdoptAWriter)

Brit-onomics: how Britney Spears feeds multitudes (Defamer)

How not to be Heath Ledger (Gawker)

Britney is sick “in a good way,” feeling philosophical (TMZ)

Rambo vs the Governator (AgentBedhead)

Kate Moss looks like her mother (DailyStab)

George Clooney goes after Britney with a baseball bat (AllieIsWired)

Ashley Olsen always looks like you’re about to hit her with a stick (ImNotObsessed)

The Hannah Montana terrorist has been arrested (TrashyCeleb)

Jennifer Love Hewitt tells you 10 things you don’t know about women (POTP)

Dolly Parton’s plastic surgery roundup (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Stephen Colbert gets the Mount Rushmore treatment (CelebritySmack)

Anderson Cooper puts his foot down on the Heath Ledger mania (HolyCandy)

Was Katie Holmes pregnant before meeting Tom Cruise? (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Britney gave Drew Barrymore a run for her money (NinjaDude)

McDreamy in uniform, sigh… (PerezHilton)

Pamela Anderson is a vegetarian dish past its freshness date (Copyranter)

Knut the Polar Bear is a fanged, clawed psychopath. O RLY? (DailyMail)

Perez Hilton forms a foundation for premature babies. Awwww. (TeenyManolo)

Simon Cowell is a LOT friendlier than we thought (EvilBeet)

Kathleen Turner is STILL big. It’s the romcoms that got small! (AgentBedhead)

Ben Affleck has still got it, but alas is sharing it with Jennifer Garner (DailyStab)

Is Angelina Jolie pregnant with twins? (X17)

Tori Spelling is an unstoppable baby-making machine (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse is in rehab. Check back every ten minutes for updates, though (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney Spears tries to pick out some new children (US)

Clay Aiken haiku (Mollygood)

Star Jones makes sense? Wha??? (HuffPo)

False gods of celebrityhood (Cityrag)

Agent99 lives! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Steve Buscemi 2.0 (Websters)

Drug dealer to the stars selling more than weed (Defamer)

Doris Lessing, blogger-h8er, Nobel Laureate, feels sorry for chick-lit stars (Gawker)

John Travolta is a klass act (CelebritySmack)

Lily Allen is a party girl again (PerezHilton)

Pete Doherty ate my lovechild (AgentBedhead)

Heath Ledger autopsy inconclusive (CelebritySmack)

Viggo Mortensen won’t cross a picket line for an Oscar (CelebWarship)

Lenny Kravitz is saving himself for marriage (GenosWorld)

Jude Law is smiling because…? (AllieIsWired)

Owen Wilson buys a bong (Dlisted)

Naomi Campbell is the Abominable Snow Bitch (Bossip)

Best Buy pimps out the late Heath Ledger (BWE)

Nicole Kidman, placenta hijacker! (Defamer)

Myspace Tom wants to do more than friend you! (HolyCandy)

Miley Cyrus debuts emo look (DailyStab)

Bill Clinton and Gina Gershon? (Gawker)

Britney is banned from the Grammys (Mollygood)

Scientology is marked for death (ImNotObsessed)

Bindi Irwin says Ayyyy! (Websters)

NYC is Disneyland? (CityRag)

Heath Ledger, 28, RIP (Gawker)

Heath Ledger’s scarily foreshadowing interview (PerezHilton)

Heath Ledger’s final bow (Defamer)

Now that Suzanne Pleshette is gone, it’s all up to Angie Dickinson (raincoaster)

P. Doody has another name change (CelebritySmack)

Angelina Jolie is DISSED! (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Scarlett Johansson’s boobs cheer up the troops (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan wins two Razzies! (HollywoodOffender)

Christina Aguilera’s baby is one of the Chosen People (GabbyBabble)

The TomKat robot! (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Dita VonTeese offers you her secret weapon (CelebWarship)

The John Travolta Scientology video, in case you thought you’d seen them all (CeleBitchy)

Beauty Queen bitchfight (Dlisted)

Margaret Cho lets flow (HuffPo)

Mena Suvari rocks the Auntie Entity Beyond Thunderdome look (GoFugYourself)

Charlie Sheen vs Denise Richards: classfest! (HolyCandy)

Nicole Richie watched herself give birth in the mirror (ImNotObsessed)

30 Seconds to SARS (Mollygood)

Duelling celebrity babies (AgentBedhead)

Celine Dion gets freaky with it (DailyStab)

Ellen BigFatPlateOfNothingDiet Pompeo is wed (ImNotObsessed)

Buy Britney’s Starbucks leftovers! (CelebSlam)

Keira Knightly is Sienna Miller’s best (only) fan (HolyMoly)

Angelina Jolie’s baby return policy? (Popsugar)

Shocker! Jennifer Aniston is a sore loser (Popbytes)

Rihanna is an Oreo (CelebritySmack)

Jason Patric steals not just Julia Roberts, but anything else he can get his hands on (CelebNewsWire)

Matt Damon kicks Ben Affleck’s ass yet again (CelebrityCowboy)

Another Osmond in rehab! Oh, those wacky Mormons (ETOnline)

Heath Ledger another victim of the Kate Hudson hotness-sapping superpower (DListed)

A day in the life of Winehouse: ambulance at dawn, concert at dusk (PerezHilton)

Brangelina is island shopping (OK)

Brandon Davis is a toxic substance (NYP)

Manolo says, it appears that the untalented and unpleasant maneater, Kate Hudson, is continuing to gnaw her way through the all-you-can-destroy buffet of Hollywood man flesh. Next course: the sartorially challenged and child-like Heath Ledger.

FORGET Dax Shephard; Kate Hudson has moved on to an actual movie star. Hudson, having dumped funnyman Shephard, was linked to Dane Cook, but Thursday night she only had eyes for Heath Ledger. Spies at Beatrice Inn said they spent their evening at the trendy watering hole “kissing and making out.” A rep for Hudson said, “This is absolutely untrue. They ran into each other and chatted briefly, but that was the extent of it.” But our spy insists on the liplock.

Liplock tonight. Next week it’ll be Heath Ledger, all alone and blubbering like the teeny baby in the frozen foods section at Ralphs.

PRINCE HARRY IS SINGLE AGAIN!!!!! (USMagazine) (ed note: don’t we have a bigger font for this?)

The first rule of writing about Tom Cruise is: you don’t write about Tom Cruise. Oh crap! (CeleBizzy)

MI6 announces the new Bond Girl. Pretty, sexy, completely unknown as per usual (MI6News)

Tats for Cash: the LeBron James/Nike deal (TheClothezline)

Workin’ it old-skool: the 1977 JC Penney catalog (15-minute lunch)

Angelina is a perfectionist who can’t get anything right (WebstersIsMyBitch)

But Brad Pitt’s got her back(side) (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Saint Bob adopts other people’s children, changes their names. Where’d he get that idea? (AgentBedhead)

24: the unaired pilot! (CollegeHumor)

Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton breed! (CelebritySmack)

Courtney Thorne-Smith also sperminated, but prettier, nicer and younger (CelebrityBabyScoop)

How to make yourself look hot: be photographed between two Amy Winehouse impersonators (Bastardly)

Heather Mills is a one-legged bitch and illegal wiretapper (Dlisted)

RIP Donda West; prayers for Kanye (Gabsmash)

How Father Time stole Teri Hatcher (BringingBloggingBack)

Amy Winehouse’s enabler arrested. This is why heroin addicts are never secret agents. (Yeeeeah)

Kate Hudson gives up on Owen, picks Heath Ledger as substitute blond (CelebWarship)

Jennifer Garner’s prick (ASocialite’sLife)

Justin Timberlake makes sure his is still there (HolyCandy)

Reese Witherspoon’s son has career aspirations just like yours! (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney Spears style alert: Defcon 1! (TheMeatScale)

The latest OJ Simpson trial starts (IDLYITW)

Halle Berry’s boobs at BAFTAs (Egotastic)

Liz Taylor may be past her sell-by date (Mollygood)

Vaughniston is ON? (DailyStab)

Ashlee Simpson’s 80’s Party pix (HolyCandy)

McDreamy pictures (GabbyBabble)

Ricky Martin, straight arrow (AgentBedhead)

Heather Mills won’t take Paul McCartney’s money…unless…(InCaseYouDidn’tKnow)

Lindsay Lohan’s huge box (BringingBloggingBack)

Ann Coulter, 46, says Jews need fixing (CelebritySmack)

Josh and Rihanna: it’s on! (PopSugar)

Orlando Bloom’s crackup, statement (X17)

Janice Dickinson gets knifed up…again (Starpulse)

Nun amok! (Defamer)

Heath Ledger and Matilda in hoodies (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Gwyneth Paltrow’s formal hotpants (I’mNotObsessed)

Maddox quits school (DListed)

Katie Holmes trains for the New York Marathon? (JustJared)