Actually, although my initial impulse was to mock the He-Man and Masters of the Universe Hipster versions, I have to say, the entire series makes far more sense if you just assume everyone is bisexual, including Battlecat.
Say hello to your new favorite blog: HalloweenOrWilliamsburg!
“You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
What? No, I’m not ‘supposed to be Morpheus.’ I’m trying to sell you ecstasy.”
Just when you thought making fun of hipsters was dead, it springs back to life like the unstoppable killer in a slasher flick, only with less interpersonal engagement. Hours of fun for the whole family, starting with your family right here at the Manolosphere. We’ve scoured the far reaches of that week-old blog to bring you the finest in Caption Contest entertainment, so sharpen your claws and get to work in the comments:
The Royal Wedding entrance like none other. My shameful past as a Prince Andrew fangirl with full-on subscriptions to Majesty AND The Royals comes out as I say the Princess Ann and Camilla lookalikes are really startlingly good, but the emo cynic within me comes out when I note that even the fake Prince Harry has way more fun than the fake Prince William, who has way more fun than either of the real ones.
Now, let’s toast these glorious ersatzii with (what else?) a Buck’s Fizz and some common gossip links.
Tee Many Martoonis (ManoloFood)
Spa No Go? Oh. (raincoaster)
Is this how the Spears family started? (Lolebrity)
Tom Cruise sees red (AgentBedhead)
And it turns out he’s not even related to Viggo! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Evan Rachel Wood lives up to his name (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Vanessa Hudgens in tampon chain fashion tragedy (CelebritySmack)
And then Trump asked for its birth certificate (CelebVIPLounge)
Joey Ramone lives on. On white trash (CityRag)
NPH has double trouble (DailyStab)
Oh, Aniston, it’s SO mutual (EarSucker)
Mike Tyson is serious about this yoga thing, too (FitFabCeleb)
Elizabeth Hurley will never age. STOP IT ALREADY, BITCH! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
JSimp wigs out (HollywoodHiccups)
Shack up with Glee! (INeedMyFix)
Royal Wedding rehearsal shocker! (MathewGuiver)
Nicki Minaj drops the dildo for Britney (PoorBritney)
Fergie drops the “D-List Bomb” on the TSA (PopBytes)
Let’s have a show of hands: Which world-famous architect is also a closet hipster?
She does have better taste in shoes, though.
What can I say? It’s Anarchy day.
Also, I have a bit of a thing for plausible, real-world Bond villains. Why don’t you try to talk some sense into me over a couple of Vesper Martinis?
The Booze Reaper (Manolofood)
V for Vogue! (Ayyyy)
Dr Drew’s got 99 problems (Lolebrity)
James Bond in drag (raincoaster)
The latest has-been to pull a Joaquin Phoenix (AgentBedhead)
Hunk dumps troll (BusyBeeBlogger)
Thetans Strike Back! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
OMG a celebrity who’s clean? (CelebrityVIPLounge)
Mariah Carey’s night of mommyglamour (CelebritySmack)
Appearing on FunnyOrDie is not “Winning” (EarSucker)
Robert Pattinson run off the road (FitFabCeleb)
Arwen vs Kanye (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Latest Awful Celebrity Couple (HaveUHeard)
Putting the “hipster” in “Vampire” (HollywoodHiccups)
I guess I’m not getting that job then (INeedMyFix)
Brad, those shades are the Pitts (MathewGuiver)
Britney vs Bullies (PoorBritney)
Theft tapes are the new sex tapes (TheSkinnyChic)
Awww. Jeff Bridges in person is even more adorable than The Big Lebowski, as I have had occasion to note. Now you may note it yourself, as we watch him crash The Little Lebowski, the Lebowskibilia shop.
And your trashy, low-rent gossip links for today:
Ten carats of PAIN! (Ayyyy)
Betty White Power! (Lolebrity)
Tales of the Cocktail (ManoloFood)
Everybody’s pregnant except me (BusyBeeBlogger)
Say hello to the Butterscotch Colt (CelebDirtyLaundry)
We call that a No-Hawk where I come from (CelebritySmack)
Charo is ageless: it’s official (CityRag)
Usher usher’d offstage (DailyStab)
No, it’s not the PICTURES that got small (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Win Kiefer Sutherland? I’m in! (INeedMyFix)
Sandra Bullock is Quote of the Day (FitFabCeleb)