Say hello to your new favorite blog: HalloweenOrWilliamsburg!

Morpheus of Williamsburg

“You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

What? No, I’m not ‘supposed to be Morpheus.’ I’m trying to sell you ecstasy.”

Just when you thought making fun of hipsters was dead, it springs back to life like the unstoppable killer in a slasher flick, only with less interpersonal engagement. Hours of fun for the whole family, starting with your family right here at the Manolosphere. We’ve scoured the far reaches of that week-old blog to bring you the finest in Caption Contest entertainment, so sharpen your claws and get to work in the comments:

I can see clearly now...that I look like an idiot

The Royal Wedding entrance like none other. My shameful past as a Prince Andrew fangirl with full-on subscriptions to Majesty AND The Royals comes out as I say the Princess Ann and Camilla lookalikes are really startlingly good, but the emo cynic within me comes out when I note that even the fake Prince Harry has way more fun than the fake Prince William, who has way more fun than either of the real ones.

Now, let’s toast these glorious ersatzii with (what else?) a Buck’s Fizz and some common gossip links.

Tee Many Martoonis (ManoloFood)

Spa No Go? Oh. (raincoaster)

Marilyn Monroe conquers the world! (Ayyyy)

Is this how the Spears family started? (Lolebrity)

Tom Cruise sees red (AgentBedhead)

And it turns out he’s not even related to Viggo! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Evan Rachel Wood lives up to his name (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Vanessa Hudgens in tampon chain fashion tragedy (CelebritySmack)

And then Trump asked for its birth certificate (CelebVIPLounge)

Joey Ramone lives on. On white trash (CityRag)

NPH has double trouble (DailyStab)

How many celebutards does it take to dance on the head of a mushroom? (DippedInCream)

Oh, Aniston, it’s SO mutual (EarSucker)

Mike Tyson is serious about this yoga thing, too (FitFabCeleb)

Elizabeth Hurley will never age. STOP IT ALREADY, BITCH! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Let me get this straight…If you sleep under Miley Cyrus’ armpits, you will never have nightmares? (HaveUHeard)

JSimp wigs out (HollywoodHiccups)

Shack up with Glee! (INeedMyFix)

Royal Wedding rehearsal shocker! (MathewGuiver)

Nicki Minaj drops the dildo for Britney (PoorBritney)

Fergie drops the “D-List Bomb” on the TSA (PopBytes)

Huh? Seriously? Kirstie Alley was onstage at the same time? (Swoonworthy)

Miley Cyrus appears to have a shin cellulite problem??? (TheSkinny)

 

You've got to hand it to her

Let’s have a show of hands: Which world-famous architect is also a closet hipster?

She does have better taste in shoes, though.

Zaha Hadid Melissa Shoe

What can I say? It’s Anarchy day.

See? A law-abiding seatbelt wearer

Also, I have a bit of a thing for plausible, real-world Bond villains. Why don’t you try to talk some sense into me over a couple of Vesper Martinis?

The Booze Reaper (Manolofood)

V for Vogue! (Ayyyy)

Dr Drew’s got 99 problems (Lolebrity)

James Bond in drag (raincoaster)

The latest has-been to pull a Joaquin Phoenix (AgentBedhead)

Hunk dumps troll (BusyBeeBlogger)

Thetans Strike Back! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

OMG a celebrity who’s clean? (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Mariah Carey’s night of mommyglamour (CelebritySmack)

But will she be naked or neurotically sweary? Enquiring minds want to know (DailyStab)

Appearing on FunnyOrDie is not “Winning” (EarSucker)

Robert Pattinson run off the road (FitFabCeleb)

Arwen vs Kanye (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Latest Awful Celebrity Couple (HaveUHeard)

Putting the “hipster” in “Vampire” (HollywoodHiccups)

I guess I’m not getting that job then (INeedMyFix)

Brad, those shades are the Pitts (MathewGuiver)

Britney vs Bullies (PoorBritney)

Theft tapes are the new sex tapes (TheSkinnyChic)

Awww. Jeff Bridges in person is even more adorable than The Big Lebowski, as I have had occasion to note. Now you may note it yourself, as we watch him crash The Little Lebowski, the Lebowskibilia shop.

And your trashy, low-rent gossip links for today:

On the decline of civility in intra-office memos in the United Kingdom (raincoaster)

Ten carats of PAIN! (Ayyyy)

Betty White Power! (Lolebrity)

Tales of the Cocktail (ManoloFood)

Pete Doherty clean and sober. In related news, temperatures in Hell reached record lows today (AgentBedhead)

Everybody’s pregnant except me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Viiiiiiiiggo! (CeleBitchy)

Say hello to the Butterscotch Colt (CelebDirtyLaundry)

We call that a No-Hawk where I come from (CelebritySmack)

Charo is ageless: it’s official (CityRag)

Usher usher’d offstage (DailyStab)

No, it’s not the PICTURES that got small (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Win Kiefer Sutherland? I’m in! (INeedMyFix)

Sandra Bullock is Quote of the Day (FitFabCeleb)

The Cure for 2010

Let’s say buh-bye to a true salvia-tinged bottom-feeder of a year and raise a glass of something fabulous to our shiny new calenderical overlord, 2011.

Here's the new crap, same as the old crap

Evenings at the Three Broomsticks will never be the same once these are standard issue.

Definitely better than letting teenagers choose what they want to wear. Nobody wants to see this.

Yes, it’s time for another edition of Homeless or Hipster; this time, starring the Cyrus Family! That peekaboo bra is a nice touch on a ten-year-old, very Jessi Slaughter. This should end well, depending on the quality of the parole officers they end up with eventually.