Is that a knockwurst in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I guess that would be “knockwurst” then.

She’s about to tell a “knock knock” joke.

And never seems to age a day!

Happy 49th Birthday to the suavalicious Hugh Grant,
who doesn’t look a day over…49?

Skittles Vodka: just shoot it (BWE)

Hugh can do it (AgentBedhead)

Miley? Can sue it! (AmyGrindhouse)

He knew it! (AprilWinchell)

Beth Ditto just nudes it (CelebWarship)

Mickey Rourke talks sh*t (CelebritySmack)

Jane Krakowski’s cans can’t (CelebuWreck)

Barrymore on Grant? (CandyKirby)

Britney on Trent? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica splits her pants (CeleBitchy)

Courtney Love, heirophant (GoFugYourself)

All hail Tina Fey (EvilBeet)

A new job for Aubrey O’Day (DailyStab)

Peck or Sidney Poitier? (TeenyManolo)

Celebrate the Harriet Carter way (IBBB)

Heidi Klum’s got tubby, eh? (DListed)

Someone’ll get it from Michael Bay (Defamer)

Gwyneth will get it from Oprah Winfrey (Defamer as well, this was too good to skip)

Announcing James Roday (SeriouslyOMG)

Lily Allen’s overexposed tittay (Websters)

Blogs invaded by Jordan’s Peter Andre (UKPopSugar)

Ivana Trump goes on holiday (HolyMoly)

and this concludes our rhyming-on-flu-meds experiment for this evening.

The lights are on but nobody’s home at the Playboy Mansion (BusyBeeBlogger)

Lindsay and Sam are mole people (CelebWarship)

Hugh Grant is working his way down the romcom co-star list (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Marilyn Manson doesn’t even try anymore (AgentBedhead)

Celebrities who don’t need masks to terrify (CelebritySmack)

Does Kate Hudson have a new victim? (DailyStab)

Heidi Klum is a goddess! (DListed)

They don’t make Bond girls like they used to (Defamer)

Punchline of the day (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld was in costume yesterday too (FakeKarl)

HalloWEENs (FourFour)

Colin Farrell is a bad boy (GabbyBabble)

For Juliette Lewis, every day is Halloween (GoFugYourself)

The gargoyles 0f NYC (CityRag)

The gargoyles of the A List (Worth1000)

Kate Moss without makeup (IDLYITW)

An interview with Satan (HolyCandy)

Grover works the red carpet (IBBB)

Let them eat cupcakes then! (CandyKirby)

THIS is reality tv? Polo??? (Mollygood)

Katherine Heigl goes green? (PopSugar)

What a dog that Jennifer Garner is (SeriouslyOMG)

Finally! Jamie Lynn has a job! (Websters)

Steve Jobs is IMMORTAL! (Lolebrity)

The femullet is BACK! (JustJared)

Naomi Campbell is ovulating: everybody PANIC! (BlackCelebrityKids)

Boy’s gone FIRED! (Websters)

David Beckham is MASSIVE! (CeleBitchy)

Has Sarah Palin been PEELED? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Sarah Palin is 100% PLASTIC! (UsMagazine)

Pete Wentz plays Russian Roulette and guess what? We ALL LOSE! (CelebritySmack)

Get into Michael Jackson’s PANTS! (DailyStab)

Megan McCain wants to go to IRAQ! (Mollygood)

Scientology gets SCHOOLED! (AgentBedhead)

Dakota Fanning is BACK! (Defamer)

Sleep with a MORMON! (Gawker)

It’s a Jessica Simpson OMEN! (DListed)

The Banksy World Tour hits Birmingham’s KKK! (Raincoaster)

Lindsay Lohan is REAL! (EvilBeet)

It’s Hugh Grant’s birthday: PARTY! (UKPopsugar)

Don’t hassel the Hoff: he’s back in rehab! (CeleBitchy)

Prince Harry, prince of hearts (or certain organs, anyway) (Jezebel)

Adrian Grenier, volunteer, plus one (Websters)

No Wii for Paula Abdul! (Yeeeeah)

Katie Holmes shares Tom Cruise’s turn-ons. Travolta unavailable for comment? (Fox)

Toni Collette, still pregnant, sporting Spanish moss disguise (TheMeatScale)

Samantha Ronson makes Perez Hilton look good (PrettyBoring)

Jessica Simpson is big in Texas. Wow, so it’s true! (ASocialitesLife)

Jennifer Aniston uses hankie! (HollywoodRag)

ICANHAZINAPPROPRIATELOLZ? (BestWeekEver)

They tried to make her go to rehab and she said “Soon, soon, soon.” (Mollygood)

Bai Ling gets her picture taken with Santa (DListed)

The Beckham family rocks the Cobain family look (PopSugar)

Victoria shows off the new funbags (HollywoodTuna)

Graffiti holy grail found in NYC (CityRag)

Winona Ryder sex tape shocker (raincoaster)

VH1 makes ‘em, breaks ‘em. NEXT! (CelebritySmack)

Tori Amos tosses fit, cellphone chatters, mid-song (YouTube)

You stay classy, David Gest (HolyCandy)

You stay classy, Hugh Grant! (ImNotObsessed)

Britney’s sick. Big surprise there. (US)

Rosie O’Donnell, American Gladiator? (AgentBedhead) (does this deserve the Athletes tag?)

James Frey steals Yoko Ono’s lunchbox (Gawker)

Paris Hilton tends to Oompa-Loompa injured in chaw riot (Defamer)

The Hoff attempts to save Rumer Willis (TheMeatScale)

The problem with Pete Doherty’s crotch (AgentBedhead)

Janice Dickinson thinks Tyra Banks is a fattie (BricksAndStones)

Scott Baio is married. Let the mourning begin! (CeleBitchy)

Arnold Schwarzenegger can’t get his kids to dress up for church either (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Michael Jackson, brought to you by Photoshop! (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Pete Doherty turns down drugs, gets beaten up by dealer (HolyMoly)

Put some pants on, girl! (CelebritySmack)

The Spice Girls fail to sell out. Who can believe it? (WWTDD)

Shutters close on Lindsay Lohan (Yeeeeah)

Will Smith is no legend in China (DailyStab)

The hallowed tradition of the Britney Frappuccino Run might be in danger (TOB)

Britney’s secret YouTube addiction (HolyCandy)

David Beckham’s underwear ad: now I know what I want for Christmas! (BittenAndBound)

Hunky Santa (LettersFromTheSoul)

Cindy Crawford sticks up for Jennifer Love Hewitt’s butt (TVCrunch)

Will Smith gets his Hollywood star (GabbyBabble)

Amy Winehouse fails to get into prison (Dlisted)

KFed’s got a sweet ride (EvilBeet)

David Beckham makes house calls! (ImNotObsessed)

Claridge’s hates Courtney Love (CeleBitchy)

Keith Richards may not be as immortal as previously thought (Divine)

Owen Wilson’s MySpace interview (Defamer)

Jeri Ryan is pregnant, pretty, political (EvilBeet)

Trick or Treat or TomKat (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Violet Affleck and Jennifer Garner ticklefight in Central Park (I’mNotObsessed)

Teri Hatcher is a Halloween Queen (InCaseYouDidn’tKnow)

Orlando Bloom wearing prison stripes but not going to prison (PopSugar)

Harry Potter, the Half-Blood Prince, and Dumbledore’s “beard protector” (JustJared)

Fox anchor or Pornstar? Take the quiz (BestWeekEver)

Fun with Amy Winehouse! (CelebritySmack)

William! Shatner! Not! In! New! Trek! (Jossip)

Please let it be Prince Harry (Dlisted)

Angelina Jolie needs a telethon of her own! (Dana’s Dirt)

Jerry Seinfeld, fashion critic; Renee Zellweger, straight man (GoFugYourself)

Jessica Alba has a clone! (HollywoodOffender)

Paris Hilton’s foreign pornshop rampage (HolyCandy)

Shaquille O’Neil, deadbeat? (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

‘Nother Naomi Campbell freakout (DerekHail)

Ryan Gosling is the new Winona Ryder? (WendyWayrad)

Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley together again (DailyMail)

Project Runway judging hopeful Hugh John Mungo Grant loves those seamy details.