Ayyyy!

Because what with Daylight Savings Time, even your morning coffee is drunk in the dark!

Kelly Osbourne robs the cradle (CelebWarship)

Eminem’s acorn didn’t fall far from the tree (CelebrityDirt)

Jennifer Aniston is Jennifer Aniston’s biggest fan (Websters)

Ashlee and Pete welcome the newest member of the Gawdawful Celebrity Baby Name Club (UKPopSugar)

Joe the Plumber has a book deal (MollyGood)

Cedric Diggory appears to be turning into Pete Doherty (JustJared)

America’s Next Top Recapper (IBBB)

Top 10 celebrity porn names (CandyKirby)

Moulin Rouge meets 80’s hair metal (GoFugYourself)

Rihanna to guest on Stargate any day now? (DListed)

Adrien Brody has a creepy stalker…who interviewed him for The Advocate (Defamer)

Sexiest Men Alive, now with scratch-n-sniff goodness! (Gawker)

The Divorce of the Century has been granted! (DailyStab)

Hugh Jackman overshares (CelebritySmack)

Hinterland’s Who’s Who: The Douchebag (CityRag)

Winona was high when she reached ground level (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Salon’s Sexiest Men Alive for Thinkers (CeleBitchy)

George Clooney supports Movember (AgentBedhead)

Oh, they may have frou-frou names, but don’t let that fool you. Like many a stiletto-clad damsel, they have a kick like a mule’s hind leg.

In memory of Marjorie (FourFour)

You don’t have to be famous yet to hate your fans (AgentBedhead)

Canada dodges a bullet… a bullet named Baldwin (CeleBitchy)

Naaaaasty Celebrity PDA’s (PopEater)

Jennifer Garner needs your help! (DListed)

Brad Pitt, also, needs your help (Defamer)

All things considered, this year’s Sexiest Man Alive could be worse (CelebritySmack)

100 movie spoilers in 5 minutes (CityRag)

Jean-Claude vanDamme has a way with metaphor (CandyKirby)

Britney is running around on Ken Paves (CelebWarship)

Joan Collins at least knows her snow (SeriouslyOMG)

Johnny Depp does his Helena Bonham Carter impression (DailyStab)

Nicole 1, Paris 0 (PopSugar)

Real Lessons from the Real Housewives (IBBB)

At least SOME of Katy Perry is real (Websters)

Katherine Heigl LOVES dogs! (Lolebrity)

Britney picks the scariest Halloween costume of all! (PopTard)

Celebrity trading cards: paper-thin, good-looking pieces with a short shelf life (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse is a style icon to supermodels everywhere (CelebritySmack)

Wino is back on the ward (People)

My imaginary boyfriend will play the caterpillar in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland (DListed)

Cabbage Patch politicians (PopEater)

Paris Hilton nervous about being shot into space (CeleBitchy)

Mary-Kate Olsen sperminated? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

ScarJo is about six and a half years early for the seven year itch (DailyStab)

Celebrity doctors need love too. They just prefer to find it on Craigslist (Defamer)

Rent a blogger! (Gawker)

Diddy diddles the planet (HolyCandy)

Bono’s youth outreach (CandyKirby)

Paging Andy Warhol (IBBB)

Tom Cruise manhandles Matt Lauer (Mollygood)

Root for Naomi Watts (ImNotObsessed)

Hugh Jackman and Catherine Zeta-Jones in the rock musical Cleopatra (UKPopsugar)

The Curse of DWTS! (SeriouslyOMG)

Amy Poehler popped (Websters)

I’m not so sure about Tourism Australia’s latest idea to tie in Baz Luhrmann’s film Australia with the new slogan ”See the Movie, See the Country” (in which case you won’t need to actually visit it after all).  Surely it would be more effective if they just used the universal appeal of Hugh Jackman and added a few words like so:

Colin Farrell has banger, needs mash (Lolebrity)

Russell Simmons’ child support just got a little pricier (BlackCelebrityKids)

The quiet, dignified world of competitive athletics gets a new hero (AgentBedhead)

Six Hollywood secrets (Derober)

The Stars of 1993 (CelebritySmack)

Uma off the market (People)

Lilo’s secret sister (DailyStab)

Nicole Richie to write a cookbook (OK)

Sarah Larson (remember her?) stiffs staff (CeleBitchy)

Mini-Me’s sex tape partner is mad (WWTDD)

Hugh Jackman is…hmmmm…wha?…was I saying something? (CityRag)

Celebrity Ego Chart Fun! (EvilBeet)

Matthew McConaughey shouldn’t rely on the kindness of strangers (PopSugar)

Charlize Theron fears the blogs! (ImNotObsessed)

Dmitiri the phone-stalker stalked! (DListed)

The Mary-Kate/Spencer feud (Defamer)

Paris Hilton’s lost twin found! (CandyKirby)

Emile Hirsch rocks the Rimbaud look (JustJared)

Hawt or Nawt: Young John McCain (Raincoaster)

For all his dislike of institutionalised education, Wolverine seems to have actually learnt something at Professor X’s Mutant Academy.  At the moment his levitation skills are limited to children under the age of 8 but this trick should still come in handy should Magneto decide to attack with an army of disgruntled kiddies who’ve been plucked from the most tedious birthday party ever.

Liveblogging the Oscars (Defamer)

Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Ben Affleck (Gawker)

Britney taken away by the men in white coats (TMZ)

Christina Aguilera has baby rage (Hollyscoop)

Eli Roth is a bedhead beyond belief (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan had too many double waters on the rocks (CelebritySmack)

Katie Holmes was delusional as a child (ImNotObsessed)

Directions to the Playboy Mansion (Derober)

Lessons from the Oscars (CircusHour)

Enough with the Oscars: who won the Razzies? (HolyMoly)

Worst idea for a musical ev-ar (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Gary Busey’s attempted red carpet rape of Jennifer Garner thwarted by Ryan “Macho” Seacrest (ASocialitesLife)

Pot calls kettle black (PerezHilton)

Diablo Cody won’t wear your stupid million dollar shoes! (Mollygood)

The Jolie-Pitt baby bump debuted to massive acclaim (Websters)

Falling Slowly for the song of the year (EvilBeet)

Kimora Lee Simmons’ death by a thousand quotes (Celebitchy)

Ben Affleck is so macho (Dlisted)

Hugh Jackman is uh is uh what was I saying? (Popsugar)

Happy Australia Day to our readers from the land of Down Under!

Let’s raise our schooners together and toast this fair nation that is girt by sea, this sunburnt country that has spawned some of the best and brightest talent in Hollywood. And now, I shall call upon the exhilarating Hugh Jackman to take us away with his vibrant maracas and tight shiny pants.

Woody Allen kills himbos’ careers stone dead! (AgentBedhead)

Angelina Jolie makes up with Jon Voight (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise, failed babydaddy (ContactMusic)

Natalie Portman is the vegan Louboutin! (CelebritySmack)

Britney’s New Year’s miracle! (Dlisted)

Johnny Depp is richer than a pirate (DailyStab)

Harry Potter and the Bar Mitzvah of Secrecy (Defamer)

Lindsay Lohan’s Champagne wishes become Champagne reality (TMZ)

Late night tv goes mano-a-mano-a-mano-a-Jimmy Kimmel (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Smells like … Becks! (EvilBeet)

Lindsay Lohan, platinum panhandler (Mollygood)

Get into Gary Coleman’s pants! (ICYDK)

Mena Suvari debuts a bowl cut (ImNotObsessed)

Carrie Underwood bows to the power of sequins (GoFugYourself)

Reese Witherspoon demonstrates impeccable taste again (HolyCandy)

Kiefer Sutherland 2.0? (PerezHilton)

Hunk Jackman and his kids at the park (TheMeatScale)