An hour ago I never knew this man existed, and now here I am, posting his videos on this celebrity fashion blog. And he’s not even a British celebrity (the other major source for People of Whom I Have Never Heard).
He’s Malibu Hamish “The Illusion.” Surfer. Skateboarder. Dude. Possibly the dudiest dude of all time, dude.
Enjoy the second-hand high you get from watching this video of how to give yourself a totally bitchin’ bowl cut, man. Just click Play and let it happen: 84,000 people have already watched this, so the guilt load is shared widely.
Rock on, dude. Malibu Ken isn’t in it.
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, “Who could have done this? We have no enemies.”
As they say on Tumblr, GPOY.
Phyllis Diller is my spirit animal, and now that she’s gone to meet her maker (he’s SCARED and he’s getting out the good cocktail glasses) the world is a duller place. It is even a less stylish place.
Gaga, Keshia, and Nicki Minaj are just going to have to find someone else to rip off.
There is no neck, however heinous, that cannot be improved upon by an enormous collar of plastic beads.
When in doubt, add eyelashes. And rhinestones, in case the eyelashes feel conspicuous.
I don’t know what the question was, but the answer was obviously “VOLUME!”
You can hardly blame them for putting a price on her head. At least, parts of it.
How I wish I could have found a recording of her singing The Rose, but as a consolation prize here she is singing her theme song, “(I can’t get no) Satisfaction). Yes, really.
Happy Hoff Day everyone! Just celebrate very circumspectly; we don’t want to imagine what would happen to this dogpile if they got excited!
P.S. In August, The Hoff, will be appearing at the Leicester Square Theatre, in what’s being billed as an intimate and hilarious evening a one-man celebration of all things Hasselhoff (which means the Manolo has undoubtedly booked his London tour through Celebrity Planet.)