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Samuel L. Jackson’s Hollywood

It’s like anyone else’s Hollywood, except swearier!

But hey, who doesn’t love Meryl?

Marvelous Marcello

Marcello Mastroianni

Marcello Mastroianni

High-waisted, tight pants are exactly why nobody ever uses the phrase “hidden charms” to describe this man.

You’re welcome.

Malibu Hamish the Illusion: Bitchin’ Bowlcut!

An hour ago I never knew this man existed, and now here I am, posting his videos on this celebrity fashion blog. And he’s not even a British celebrity (the other major source for People of Whom I Have Never Heard).

He’s Malibu Hamish “The Illusion.” Surfer. Skateboarder. Dude. Possibly the dudiest dude of all time, dude.

Enjoy the second-hand high you get from watching this video of how to give yourself a totally bitchin’ bowl cut, man. Just click Play and let it happen: 84,000 people have already watched this, so the guilt load is shared widely.

Rock on, dude. Malibu Ken isn’t in it.

RIP Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, “Who could have done this? We have no enemies.”

Phyllis Diller

As they say on Tumblr, GPOY.

Phyllis Diller is my spirit animal, and now that she’s gone to meet her maker (he’s SCARED and he’s getting out the good cocktail glasses) the world is a duller place. It is even a less stylish place.

Gaga, Keshia, and Nicki Minaj are just going to have to find someone else to rip off.

Phyllis Diller tiptoes through the tulips

Phyllis Diller tiptoes through the tulips

There is no neck, however heinous, that cannot be improved upon by an enormous collar of plastic beads.

Phyllis Diller before and after

Phyllis Diller before and after

When in doubt, add eyelashes. And rhinestones, in case the eyelashes feel conspicuous.

Phyllis Diller's hair raising situation

Phyllis Diller’s hair raising situation

I don’t know what the question was, but the answer was obviously “VOLUME!”

Phyllis Diller vs Hairdressers

Phyllis Diller vs Hairdressers

You can hardly blame them for putting a price on her head. At least, parts of it.

Phyllis Diller was an American Rose

Phyllis Diller was an American Rose

How I wish I could have found a recording of her singing The Rose, but as a consolation prize here she is singing her theme song, “(I can’t get no) Satisfaction). Yes, really.

Marilyn Gets Schooled

Marilyn goes to school

Marilyn goes to school

I bet she never had to wait long for a ride.

Liz Taylor, Vice vs Virtue

Liz Taylor

Liz Taylor

Not the first to say it, but by god the most plausible!

Happy Hoff Day!

Don't hassle the Hoff. Not when he's in that position

Don’t hassle the Hoff. Not when he’s in that position

Happy Hoff Day everyone! Just celebrate very circumspectly; we don’t want to imagine what would happen to this dogpile if they got excited!

P.S. In August, The Hoff, will be appearing at the Leicester Square Theatre, in what’s being billed as an intimate and hilarious evening a one-man celebration of all things Hasselhoff (which means the Manolo has undoubtedly booked his London tour through Celebrity Planet.)

True Form

Clara Bow Knows

Clara Bow Knows

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how a lady accessorizes to read the Racing Form.

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