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Icon Inès

We’re back! Labour Day is over and it’s time to get back to labouring, including at the dazzling penthouse lair of the Manolosphere. Today we’re going to discuss something similarly stunning: Model/Designer/Muse/Force of Nature Inès de la Fressange.

Who else looks like that in jeans?

Who else looks like that in jeans?

Sure, it’s easy to look that good in “this old thing” when you have genes like hers, but we can all use a little Parisian style in our lives, even if we don’t come from Paris (Inès comes from St. Tropez, which must be where she got that remarkable accent; either that or she spent WAY too much time listening to Kaiser Karl in the 80’s, but didn’t we all?). She never took her job too seriously, and was always refreshingly blunt and unpretentions in interviews. I do remember that she insisted her dog was a much better model than she was, and the photo certainly proved Jim had potential: also, since she successfully talked Vanity Fair into photographing him, she could write off his dog food.

Ines de la Fressange and Jim

Ines de la Fressange and Jim: WORK IT, LABRADOR!

Here are her essentials for visiting LA (a contract with Loreal doesn’t hurt either):

She’s mostly retired from modeling now, which is only fair to the younger girls of 40-something, and is directrice of Roger Vivier, which is why she’s generally photographed wearing the famous flats first made popular by Catherine Deneuve in Belle de Jour.

Now Inès has given in to her didactic side (she never just modeled; she usually narrated as well ,and very entertainingly) and written (or at least dictated, in appropriately sexy voice) a book, Parisian Chic, and while the sole bookseller here in Upper MuskOx does not carry it, I am highly inclined to order this puppy, for style can always use a refresher and it is satisfying unto one’s very soul to go through a book by a living avatar of chic and go, “I knew that. I knew that, too. Yup, that one as well…” and so on. I don’t know about you, but after the kind of summer I’ve been having, this looks like a charming sorbet before the onset (onslaught) of the next season.

See, she can read too! Try THAT, Lily Cole!

See, she can read too! Try THAT, Lily Cole!

The Un-Blushing Bridesmaid

The Unblushing Bridesmaid
The Unblushing Bridesmaid

Lily Allen has always been known as the “Dirt with angelic face” singer, and it’s nice to see she comes by it honestly. This is what her sister chose to wear to Lily’s wedding yesterday, keeping up the standard of class, but of unspecified altitude.

Then again, maybe she had the dress fitted before she got the boobs fitted. And serve her right if she couldn’t breathe all night.

I dunno about you, but I definitely feel in need of something strong to wash that out of my mind’s eye. I recommend the Nuptial Cocktail and some gossip links.

Palin Poetry: the Palinleaks Haikus. America gets the Japanese poetic forms it deserves, as Sarah Palin’s emails get put through the Haiku Finder. Art really IS everywhere! (raincoaster)

Who needs the tooth fairy? Who needs Food Porn? We’ve got the Magic Rum Fairy! (ManoloFood)

Emma Watson is back in the harness. Gee, I didn’t know there was a new Matrix movie in the works. Still, this will come in handy for her battles with arch-enemy Fat Bastard. (Ayyyy)

Harrison Ford IS Errand Runner! I’d like to take a look at his Furby, if you know what I mean and I think you do! (Lolebrity)

Debbie Reynolds is selling off her children’s inheritance and YOU CAN BUY IT! Yes, it’s the celebrity crap auction of the year, and open for business! Someone call Harrison Ford, quick! (Crasstalk)

Starfuckery failure: pro edition. ScarJo needs to go study at the scabby, callused knees of Courtney Love. (AgentBedhead)

It’s time to draw the line! Catherine, Duchess of Whatever, the Artist Formerly Known as Kate Middleton, needs an eyeliner intervention, people. (BusyBeeBlogger)

Gary Dourdan is brought to your police department by the Letter E. Unlike the last time, when he was brought to your police station by the letters DUI. (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Mazel tov, kids. Now, can the world please forget about Lily Allen? (CelebritySmack)

Who are the 10 best actors in Hollywood? Other than the “I didn’t hook up with him” Kardashians? (CelebVIPLounge)

JWoww kisses a dog. So things are looking up for her in the romance department. (CityRag)

Ladies and gentlemen, start your gingham! Jessica Simpson, superchic fashion powerhouse, is cloning herself. (DailyStab)

Taylor Momsen…remember her? Well, it looks like she’s hooking up with an electrician now. (FitFabCeleb)

Paparazzis pap’d! Six celebrities spying on you. (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jessica Alba’s kid is going to be VERY popular with the tabloids! Nothing like leaking on your mom in front of a row of reporters. (HaveUHeard)

Conan O’Brien enters the Greatest Commencement Speech Sweepstakes. Will he take it from Steve Jobs? It’s Team Coco vs Apple Fanboys in the final round: Dartmouth vs Stanford. (HollywoodHiccups)

I’ll take “let them get the damn picture instead of crashing the car with your children in it” for a hundred, Alex! On the other hand, how desperate must a pap be to try to get a picture of Tori Spelling? (INeedMyFix)

Prince Hot Ginge in his undershirt. It doesn’t matter what I type here; you’re not reading it anyway. (SwoonWorthy)

People still date Lindsay Lohan’s castoffs? In other news, Demi Lovato is apparently capable of making good decisions again. (TheSkinnyChic)

 

What does a legend become most?

PeeWee for your consideration

PeeWee for your consideration

That’s right: A self-parody.

Well, hell, if it worked for Melissa Leo, more power to PeeWee! Let’s toast his Tony chances with a pink Pom Champagne Cocktail and some gossip links.

The Masked Bandit of Chinatown a tragidramedary in three parts. Is one sexy masked Cary Elwes lookalike too much to ask, O Cruel Universe? IS IT, MOTHERFUCKER??? (raincoaster)

Social media trainer overcome by uncontrollable urge to self-promote in celebrity gossip roundup LAST CHANCE TO REGISTER FOR TOMORROW’S SOCIAL MEDIA WORKSHOP MOTHERFUCKERS! (raincoastermedia)

Mystery Sockster REVEALED! Did you guess the holey celebrity correctly? and no, I am not going to use the word motherfucker this time. Oh, damn. (Ayyyy)

DUCK AND UNCOVER: the Holy Hand Grenade Cocktail! Complete with 1200 words, several pictures, some cheap jokes, a YouTube of Bert from Sesame Street doing a Travis Bickle impersonation, and one recipe. (Manolofood)

DON’T TEXT WITH TEXAS or something like that. Remember when Lawrence Fishburne stopped King Lear dead and bawled out someone in the audience whose phone was going off? Yeah, this is like that. In Texas. (Crasstalk)

The HOFFSICKLE, BITCHES! I’d have to wash my own mouth out with soap if I put this in there. In related news, can you get chlamydia in your mouth? No reason I ask. (AgentBedhead)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE NAVARRO. He’s going to celebrate by marrying two lesbian strippers and starting a trend to smoke heroin from a corncob pipe while riding a tricycle. (BusyBeeBlogger)

Bimbo got back! Royal In-Law got second place. And EVERYBODY’s got too much eyeliner lately. Get offa my lawn. (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Brigitte Neilson still ticking at minute 17 of her celebrity. Congratulations on your new I BOINKED THE SPERMINATOR newsworthyness after all this time. (CelebritySmack)

Coming soon: Jason Mraz engaged to James Franco. And ALSO probably confessing affair with Ahnold. (CelebVIPLounge)

Honest to blog, I thought this said Nicholas Cage’s son was hospitalized for Mental Evacuation. WAY funnier that way. (DailyStab)

Morning television just got a little nippier, thanks to Khloe Kardashian. Like, MANHOLE COVER levels of nippier. (EarSucker)

David Beckham WANTS Justin Bieber. I…I…uh… (FitFabCeleb)

Celebrities wearing the “Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey Chapeau.” MAIS OUI! Vieux Chapeaux sont le Dernier Cri et le Nouvelle Vague et c’est tout de mon Francais que je can remembre? BON! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Weiner eats crow, Fallon-style. This is NOT a gay porno, I promise! (HaveUHeard)

The hottest metal band you would never believe ROCK OUT! No, seriously, that’s actually them! (HelloGiggles)

My mother always used to say when you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas. In other news, SOMEBODY BOINKED A KARDASHIAN again. (HollywoodHiccups)

This headline makes it totally sound like  zombie porn. Would YOU see zombie porn? I so totally would watch the hell out of a dirty version of Carnival of Souls. In unrelated news, where’d I put that DVD? (INeedMyFix)

Who cares if there’s no story here, it’s a picture of GERARD BUTLER SURFING, PEOPLE! (MathewGuiver)

The decorative and doubtless charming and erudite Matt Bomer gives me a LADY BOMER if you know what I mean and hey, I think you do. Yes, this is what I do for a living. Mother would be so proud. (SwoonWorthy)

A Champagne company sponsored an event where there were hot polo players and Hugh Jackman and DIDN’T INVITE ME??? That’s it, my publicist is fired! (TheSkinnyChic)

Selah.

Jesus Speaks!

Oh, snap! Isn’t it easier to just order the collection from Amazon? And on that happy, life-saving note, let’s have a Golden Girls CockTea and share some gossip links. Roll up your caftan sleeves, because this is juicy.

Golden Girls CockTeas

Golden Girls CockTeas. Thank you for being a bartender!

Some people are too smart to fall for Nickelback. Like these Irish folk dancing PhD candidates. (raincoaster)

To serve man. With appropriate wines and side dishes. No really, this is a how-to article (ManoloFood)

Brad, Pitts. I liked Colin Farrell’s look better on Colin Farrell, did you? (Ayyyy)

My boyfriend wrote a book about me and here is my review of it. Oh, this should be juicy! (Crasstalk)

When duckfaces collide! Kim Kardashian and Snooki prepare to ruin popular entertainment for a generation. (AgentBedhead)

Teach me how to Dougie. Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over. (BusyBeeBlogger)

Dude looks like a lady…in the right light, if you squint a bit, so another dude said Sure, why not? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Oh come ON! That’s Arnold in drag, you’re not fooling anyone. (CelebritySmack)

Kirk Cameron needs to adjust his medication. I don’t think Stephen Hawking ever did heroin. (CelebVIPLounge)

It’s Lady Gaga’s world. We just read magazines in it. Magazines that tell us it’s her world. (DailyStab)

Happy Birthday, Trent. My Future Husband is looking good! Nice of his current wife to warm him up for me (DippedInCream)

Eva’s revenge: ZsaZsa in a coma! Magda still dead. (EarSucker)

Vanessa Hudgens gives up on dreams of acting, joins Glee. She’ll be opening for Nickelback soon. (FitFabCeleb)

Fergie, Duchess of Pork, butters up the mealticket. God knows she’s unemployable (GirlsTalkinSmack)

and Liza and Halston were there, too! The world says good-bye to Oprah. (HaveUHeard)

Two and a half men. Your guess whether it’s Cryer, Kutcher or Jones who’s the half. (HollywoodHiccups)

I’m sorry but this is no Robert Redford. Or Nick the Narrator, for that matter. Not even a passable Sam Waterston. (INeedMyFix)

Tori Spelling doesn’t look a day over 45. No seriously, check this out. But bring your eyebleach. (MathewGuiver)

ABSNEY! Britney’s getting her body back, bitches! (PoorBritney)

Colin Firth soaking wet. Bubble bath. Wine. What are you still doing reading this? (Swoonworthy)

This is not the dress with which to wear a novelty bra, darling! Reality stars: You can dress them up…wait, no, you can’t. (TheSkinny)

Lady Gaga guards the mouth of Hell. This explains a great deal, if you really think about it. (TheSkinnyChic)

Selah.

Guess the Celebrity Mom Results

You remember our darling Mystery Mother’s Day celebrity and her mom? We’ve got a winner:

Mystery Mommy and Me

Mystery Mommy and Me

Jo
May 10, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Dietrich!

YES! At last we have a Guess the Celeb contest that goes longer than one day! Congratulations to the sharp-eyed Jo: congratulations and imaginary swag. For our new champeen, we have the very Dietrich-worthy backless sequined silk-chiffon gown by Ashish.

Teri Hatcher’s reverting to type

Surely I’m not the only one who sees this.
Teri Hatcher's Forehead of DoomIs there a new Star Trek in the pipeline?

Some people will do ANYTHING to get a part, I’m telling you. Playing politics is a big part of Hollywood, I guess.

Obama has Osama’s paperwork (raincoaster)

We need a decision: which of these classic beauties wore it better (Ayyyy)

Karl Lagerfeld brings the chocolate…if not the taste (ManoloFood)

Mission Accomplished 2.0 (Lolebrity)

Can we get Hamlet updated for bodybuilders? Yes, yes we can. (AgentBedhead)

Can Obama protect us from Charlie Sheen, Free Agent? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Can he get us a good, cheap date? Or do we have to stoop to this date-bidding site? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

PARDON RICK SPRINGFIELD!!! (CelebritySmack)

Can Obama provide a DNA sample? We’re trying to figure out who fathered January Jones’ child (CelebVIPLounge)

Bieber safety: an international concern. Should we take it to the UN? (DailyStab)

Declare Beckam’s Birthday a national holiday! (DippedinCream)

SAVE JENNIFER HUDSON! She is headed for oblivion! (EarSucker)

Can Obama get Miley Cyrus to keep it in her pants? (FitFabCeleb)

Ban the ballcap! Celebrities can afford better, surely? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Can Obama capture the Canadian terrorist Justin Bieber (HaveUHeard)

In the name of all that is holy, STOP THE CELEBRITY NEPOTISM (HollywoodHiccups)

Can Obama save little Jaden Smith from a life of child labour? (INeedMyFix)

Can he get me an invitation to Goldie Hawn’s ranch, too? (MathewGuiver)

Will he appoint Britney Ambassador? (PoorBritney)

Can we lock Lohan up and throw away the key? (PopBytes)

America needs heroes like these! (SwoonWorthy)

Fight hunger! Feed the celebrities! (TheSkinny)

 

Somehow this is Prince Harry’s fault

The Royal Wedding entrance like none other. My shameful past as a Prince Andrew fangirl with full-on subscriptions to Majesty AND The Royals comes out as I say the Princess Ann and Camilla lookalikes are really startlingly good, but the emo cynic within me comes out when I note that even the fake Prince Harry has way more fun than the fake Prince William, who has way more fun than either of the real ones.

Now, let’s toast these glorious ersatzii with (what else?) a Buck’s Fizz and some common gossip links.

Tee Many Martoonis (ManoloFood)

Spa No Go? Oh. (raincoaster)

Marilyn Monroe conquers the world! (Ayyyy)

Is this how the Spears family started? (Lolebrity)

Tom Cruise sees red (AgentBedhead)

And it turns out he’s not even related to Viggo! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Evan Rachel Wood lives up to his name (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Vanessa Hudgens in tampon chain fashion tragedy (CelebritySmack)

And then Trump asked for its birth certificate (CelebVIPLounge)

Joey Ramone lives on. On white trash (CityRag)

NPH has double trouble (DailyStab)

How many celebutards does it take to dance on the head of a mushroom? (DippedInCream)

Oh, Aniston, it’s SO mutual (EarSucker)

Mike Tyson is serious about this yoga thing, too (FitFabCeleb)

Elizabeth Hurley will never age. STOP IT ALREADY, BITCH! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Let me get this straight…If you sleep under Miley Cyrus’ armpits, you will never have nightmares? (HaveUHeard)

JSimp wigs out (HollywoodHiccups)

Shack up with Glee! (INeedMyFix)

Royal Wedding rehearsal shocker! (MathewGuiver)

Nicki Minaj drops the dildo for Britney (PoorBritney)

Fergie drops the “D-List Bomb” on the TSA (PopBytes)

Huh? Seriously? Kirstie Alley was onstage at the same time? (Swoonworthy)

Miley Cyrus appears to have a shin cellulite problem??? (TheSkinny)

 

Mystery Flapper Links!

Yes, it’s another round of “Guess the Celebrity(and let’s see if it takes you more than fifteen minutes this time).”

Mystery Flapper

Mystery Flapper is where Karl Lagerfeld stole his fan?

Guesses in the comments, and while you’re pondering, I suggest you enjoy a tasty and nutritious Strawberry Flapper and some gossip links:

The most epic post in the history of epicosity! (raincoaster)

Brando prepares for his greatest role (ManoloFood)

Lindsay Lohan SANS FARDS (Ayyyy)

Harry Potter and the Slash of Fandom (Lolebrity)

Nicole Kidman’s been swallowed by a python (AgentBedhead)

And her baby is all, “Wasn’t SATC ten years ago? Whatever, Mom.” (BusyBeeBlogger)

So does three quarters of Louisiana, but that won’t make it happen (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Xtina has the hiccups (CelebDirtyLaundry)

OH MY GOD I AM SUDDENLY SO HAPPY AND DUMB. AND HAPPY!!!1!! (DailyStab)

Won’t you spare a thought for the poor reality show millionaires? (EarSucker)

What Beaker Saw (cannot be unseen, I warned you!) (FitFabCeleb)

No, Justin, that’s not what she meant by the Burning Bush (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Kirstie Alley not immune to gravity (HaveUHeard)

L. Ron Jr is five! (HollywoodHiccups)

Amy Winehouse put a ring on it (INeedMyFix)

The Oddest Couple (MathewGuiver)

Then she took some gigolo to Disneyland (PoorBritney)

Garey Busey almost gets Meatloafed (PopBytes)

I don’t know who this is, but I want it (SwoonWorthy)

Tara Reid still clinging to life, relevance (TheSkinny)

On the other hand, how much do most 90-year-olds make? (TheSkinnyChic)

 

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