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The Return of Lilo!

Lindsay Lohan would like to inquire as to what, specifically, Willis is discussing.

Lindsay Lohan would like to inquire as to what, specifically, Willis is discussing.

It’s great to see gossip blog stalwart Lindsay Lohan climbing back into that cover girl saddle and debuting a radical new look at her latest probation hearing. Ayyyy would like to extend to Ms. Lohan our congratulations on Black and Blue Steel.

Somehow this is Prince Harry’s fault

The Royal Wedding entrance like none other. My shameful past as a Prince Andrew fangirl with full-on subscriptions to Majesty AND The Royals comes out as I say the Princess Ann and Camilla lookalikes are really startlingly good, but the emo cynic within me comes out when I note that even the fake Prince Harry has way more fun than the fake Prince William, who has way more fun than either of the real ones.

Now, let’s toast these glorious ersatzii with (what else?) a Buck’s Fizz and some common gossip links.

Tee Many Martoonis (ManoloFood)

Spa No Go? Oh. (raincoaster)

Marilyn Monroe conquers the world! (Ayyyy)

Is this how the Spears family started? (Lolebrity)

Tom Cruise sees red (AgentBedhead)

And it turns out he’s not even related to Viggo! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Evan Rachel Wood lives up to his name (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Vanessa Hudgens in tampon chain fashion tragedy (CelebritySmack)

And then Trump asked for its birth certificate (CelebVIPLounge)

Joey Ramone lives on. On white trash (CityRag)

NPH has double trouble (DailyStab)

How many celebutards does it take to dance on the head of a mushroom? (DippedInCream)

Oh, Aniston, it’s SO mutual (EarSucker)

Mike Tyson is serious about this yoga thing, too (FitFabCeleb)

Elizabeth Hurley will never age. STOP IT ALREADY, BITCH! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Let me get this straight…If you sleep under Miley Cyrus’ armpits, you will never have nightmares? (HaveUHeard)

JSimp wigs out (HollywoodHiccups)

Shack up with Glee! (INeedMyFix)

Royal Wedding rehearsal shocker! (MathewGuiver)

Nicki Minaj drops the dildo for Britney (PoorBritney)

Fergie drops the “D-List Bomb” on the TSA (PopBytes)

Huh? Seriously? Kirstie Alley was onstage at the same time? (Swoonworthy)

Miley Cyrus appears to have a shin cellulite problem??? (TheSkinny)

 

Arsenic and Old Leather and Lace

Lois Aldrin rocks the bedazzled Canadian Tuxedo

Lois Aldrin rocks the bedazzled Canadian Tuxedo

Yay! Look everybody: it’s Ayyyy favorite Lois Aldrin, with her trophy husband, Buzz. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, even if the eyes are getting farther and farther apart.

Toast Lois and her boytoy with a few Leather and Lace shooters. Lois would do a tray of these entirely hands-free, you know she would.

I’d be the filling in a Steve Jobs/Jeff Goldblum sandwich (Lolebrity)

The Lord of the Kingdom of the Undead does not approve of this floozy (Ayyyy)

Roundup of news from Japan (raincoaster)

Matthew McConaughey is turning into a greyhound before our eyes (AgentBedhead)

Joan Jett is better than RedBull (BusyBeeBlogger)

Olivia Wilde thinks she can upgrade from an Italian prince (CelebDirtyLaundry)

She looks like Crispin Glover in an Edith Prickley costume (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay Lohan will stop at nothing (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Charlie Sheen, Celebrity Chef? (DailyStab)

Disney is REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel (EarSucker)

They may be immortal, but they’re still not taking any chances (FitFabCeleb)

Scary clownceleb faces (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Celebrities care! Or at least fake it plausibly! (HaveUHeard)

The latest in celebrity injustices (HollywoodHiccups)

Tony Dunzo (INeedMyFix)

Justin Timberlake has a new plus one (MathewGuiver)

Martha Stewart is a surrogramma (TheSkinny)

 

 

Tiger Blood Cocktail Links

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Are you WINNING? Diddy sure is, and PWNING too. BOOM!

RIP OD (CelebritySmack)

REM RT (CelebrityVIPLounge)

WINNING! photoshops (CityRag)

SO FAR, Demi. So far… (DailyStab)

Adele is pro-gossip (DippedInCream)

Everybody but me has a book deal and a sex tape (EarSucker)

Three planets that size make a solar plexus system (FitFabCeleb)

Remember Lily Allen? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

One gets Africa, one gets New York? (HaveUHeard)

Aw man, don’t bling that thing! (HollywoodHiccups)

They have country music in Belgium? (INeedMyFix)

Roseanne Barr and Charlie Sheen? (MathewGuiver)

KFed/FedX Xpands (PoorBritney)

“Country Music’s newest star” (PopBytes)

TURBAN SIGHTING!!! (TheSkinny)

Bikini baby bump (TheSkinnyChic)

 

 

Dirty Martini Links

CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 23: Actress Linda Marraccini (Dirty Martini) attends the Palme d'Or Award Closing Ceremony held at the Palais des Festivals during the 63rd Annual Cannes Film Festival on May 23, 2010 in Cannes, France. (Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

Sari about that: renowned ecdysiast Dirty Martini models perhaps the only example of a bondage sari in existence.

Here are your Dirty Martini emo links. Why am I so emo today? Read the last post and then mix a pitcher of Black Widows for yourself and me.

Underemployed Jedi single dad starts drinking early (Lolebrity)
Brian Atene is at the Nembutal and self-doubt again (raincoaster)
Brian Atene invented Superman Vodka, he’ll have you know (raincoaster media)
Here are two decorative, talented men as a sort of unicorn chaser (TeenyManolo)
This mystery man is filthy (ManoloMen)
Blohan blew it (AgentBedhead)
More Don Draper! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Paris Hilton says “Marriott? I wish I’d thought of buying it! I love Pocahontas!” (CeleBitchy)
As if the world didn’t have enough stupid things that make you want to die in it (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Hey Gaga, Scotch is fattening! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Well, alcohol IS a preservative (CelebritySmack)
Dita, NEVER get between me and the Cointreau (CojoStyle)
My god, what were they ON when they greenlighted this? (DailyStab)
THIS man is intoxicating! (DListed)
This is the only man perhaps more perfect than Jon Hamm (EvilBeet)
Hallelujah and pass the Jesus Juice! (GabbyBabble)
I thought what happened in Vegas stayed there? Is that too much to ask? (HaveUHeard)
Where was SuperHamm when THIS happened? (INeedMyFix)
What’s wrong with Drink, Bitch, Sulk? (JustJared)
Can even Jodie Foster’s might save Mel? (PerezHilton)
If Pink is a drunk I love her even more (PoorBritney)

and now, your cheer-em-up unicorn chaser featuring OK Go and Puppehs!

Chop, chop, Scarlett!

Scarlett Johannsson has two things going for her after that haircut

Scarlett Johannsson knows the worse the hair, the lower the neckline should be

Oh my. Oh my. At least she’s still got two things going for her.

Cameron Diaz is slick! (Shoeblogs)
Nicole Richie is too sexy for her hat (Lolebrity)
Dot dot dot (TeenyManolo)
Start the day off RIGHT! (ManoloBig)
Going in circles looking for wallpaper? (ManoloHome)
Tux and cover! (ManoloBrides)
Dustin Hoffman did it first, boys (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan is pulling a Klinger to get out of jail (BusyBeeBlogger)
You’ll pry her heels from her cold, dead hands (CeleBitchy)
Paris Hilton is a natural woman of parts (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Ozzy Osbourne is poison! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
so is raincoaster (raincoaster)
World’s two most famous lesbians together at last! (CojoStyle)
ScarJo has two things going for her (CityRag)
St. Angelina wears nose cone falsies (DailyStab)
Johnny Depp fears nothing, not even Penelope Cruz! (HaveUHeard)
I don’t see Emma Peel (INeedMyFix)
Oliver Stone identifies with Hitler (MovieLine)
The hardest-working B-Listers at Comic Con! (SeriouslyOMG)

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The Fashion Police are Playing Rough (links)

Whoa, they aren’t messing around anymore! I’d like to know who down at Headquarters okayed that hiring decision.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

What Would Neil Patrick Harris Do? (Lolebrity)
World’s cutest octopus (raincoaster)
These boots were made for stalking (Shoeblogs)
Why dress well? (ManoloBig)
This is a pervy poultry fancier’s dream come true (TeenyManolo)
Stacked! (ManoloHome)
New Dork Times (ManoloBrides)
Bill Murray previews Amy Winehouse’s retirement plan (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan’s lesbian prison chixploitation script writes itself (BestWeekEver)
Jennifer Aniston raises a stink in London (BricksAndStones)
I’d do that all the time if I were a Lohan (BusyBeeBlogger)
Whoopi brought her friend Harvey on the View (CeleBitchy)
A heaping hunk of himbos (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Ben Affleck’s Batcave (CelebrityMound)
Katy Perry gives a generation of fanboys diabetes (CelebritySmack)
Foxy Brown performs her version of “New Moon” (Crunk+Disorderly)
I could make a tart joke but I’ll just say “bun in the oven” (DailyStab)
Twit o’ the Day: LindsayInJail (Twitter)
Is this the long-awaited Hilton sister porno? (DanasDirt)
Some people will do ANYTHING to be like their favorite star (EvilBeet)
Forget Zardoz: Hail ZDROK! (FourFour)
Beauty and the Geeks (GabbyBabble)
STOP! In the name of fug! (GoFugYourself)
Kim Kardashian ->Victoria Beckham? (HollywoodBackwash)
Hey LOTR nerds! It’s BloomsDay! (HollywoodRag)
The Big Babeh Bummer (INeedMyFix)
Leo lays it out (HaveUHeard)
The strangest strap-on I have ever seen (IBBB)
16-year-old learns to dress herself (JustJared)
Situation Normal…rest of them AFU (MaterialBitch)
Britney Spears is team LAY OFF ME (PerezHilton)
Natalie Portman’s swan song (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Katie Price is so not G-A-Y (UKPopSugar)
We’ve lost her (PopBytes)
V for…vajayjay? (SeriouslyOMG)

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Lindsay Lohan’s perp walk of fabulousness

Lindsay Lohan's glitter perp walk of fabulosity

I bet the jail rolled out a red carpet, too. Wet with the blood of the innocents

via: cvxn:worstfuckingideas:whydoihaveablog:

Oh Lindsay, leave it to you to have a perp walk attended by a glitter-tossing entourage. Or, wait, maybe this was that crazy Brazilian religious nut who would shake her head and throw off drifts of solid gold dandruff. And then you’d be prison lovers, and then you’d be released and forget her but remember the name of her good coke contact. That would be so you.

Lindsay Lohan: what a mug! (Lolebrity)
Nicole Dobernig haz a flamewar! (raincoaster)
Lin Yu Chun cheated by plastic doll! (Shoeblogs)
Ransom note art (ManoloHome)
Truck that, chef! (ManoloFood)
Ask Auntie Plumcake (ManoloBig)
A lil drinkie-poo? (TeenyManolo)
I’m at a loss for a compost metaphor here (ManoloBrides)
A hem! (ManoloMen)
Elvis, now with 75% more Awesome (AgentBedhead)
Brad Pitt’s moneyballs (BusyBeeBlogger)
Taste the Gaga! (CeleBitchy)
Glamour model goes too far down the alphabet (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Happy Restraining Order Day! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
There’s something about Zac (CojoStyle)
Inflation on the Jersey Shore (HaveUHeard)
Wino is regressing to fetal (INeedMyFix)
The Brostitute (Movieline)
Guess the guns (PopBytes)
Phoebie Cates is still 18 (SeriouslyOMG)

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