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Jake Gyllenhaal | Ayyyy! - Part 3
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Hammock and Sangria Links

Ex-Mayor of London begins new, more literal-minded career (Lolebrity)

Kiefer needs soap on a rope! (AgentBedhead)

The Family Panettiere pulls a Spears (CeleBitchy)

Britney finally gets some support (CelebritySmack)

Anne Hathaway nose what she’s doing (DailyStab)

The Royal Ronsons (EvilBeet)

A shirtless, long-haired Jake GyllenwhatwasIsaying? (JustJared)

The greatest movie trailer in the entirety of recorded human history (Defamer)

Hollywood is CURSED! (Gawker)

Angelyne is ageless! (DListed)

The real queens of child beauty pageants (FourFour)

Kelly Osbourne, cradle-robber! (DanasDirt)

Oasis frontman requires intervention for assoholism (GabbyBabble)

Things we didn’t need to see: Tara Reid’s stomach on Lil’ Kim’s body (POTP)

Seth Green, sex machine (SeriouslyOMG)

Bono sans shades!!! The end of the universe approaches! (CandyKirby)

Forget the Montauk Monster: it’s the Montag Monster! (IBBB)

Britney’s VMAs Mulligans (PopSugar)

Protest? That’s retarded! (Websters)

Pre-Independence Day Links

Ashley Kaufman can has dysfunctional famlee, recording contract? (Lolebrity)

Heidi Fleiss, failed madam, successful reality show star (WOWReport)

A-Rod behaving like a free agent (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Is this a musical which I see before me,
The Beckhams the subject? Come, David, let me clutch thee;
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still
. (SeriouslyOMG)

Jake Gyllenhaal is a swordsman (ASL)

The pregnant woman/man gives birth (LilSugar)

England hates America: REVOLT! (Radar)

Jay-Z keeps slaves? (PerezHilton)

Chris Martin: a boob saved by boobies (Mollygood)

Anderson Cooper is in the Advocate and he doesn’t care who knows it (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Jack Black stole his mom’s stash (ImNotObsessed)

Chace Crawford hearts the cougars (JustJared)

What not to wear…LIVE! (GoFugYourself)

Relive the Rave! (FourFour)

Christie Brinkley will soon be free of that creep (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan beats the odds, makes it to 22 (Defamer)

Matt Damon no longer sexiest man alive (DailyStab)

Coming soon: a mysterious poisoning in Afghanistan (Crunk&Disorderly)

Shockingly, Katie Holmes fails to sell more than a million dollars in tickets (AgentBedhead)

Links Across the Border

Matt Damon ar Canoodlian? (Lolebrity)

Brit Naomi Campbell represents Africa (AgentBedhead)

Mary-Kate Olsen brings, wears, the kimono and kiltie-based Wackness (CelebritySmack)

Brangelina donates $1million to help children of war (Websters)

Amy Winehouse downsizes the party (DListed)

Sigourney in space? (DailyStab)

Ben Affleck talks about the Congo (ImNotObsessed)

Barack Obama loses the bimbo vote! (CandyKirby)

Cruise Beckham (CelebDirtyLaundry)

GyllenSpooning (JustJared)

Five dumbest reality show gimmicks (Mollygood)

Gayest movie robots (Radar)

Prince Harry, rump roast inspector (UKPopsugar)

Mario Lopez ChestHairGate! (Defamer)

Tim McGraw boots an attacker (CeleBitchy)

I didn’t know Ashanti was in Ice Capades (GoFugYourself)

Oprah’s is the biggest I’ve ever seen! (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Kanye’s mother’s Doctor Death no longer Doctor, DUI’d for good measure (PerezHilton)

Well, what do you know? You CAN be too thin! (ParkAvenuePeerage)

March Linkness

Japan goes insane for baseball-playing koala (WithMalice)

Martha Stewarts booze all-stars (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper recovering from cancer surgery (Gawker)

Scandal in the Heath Ledger estate (DailyStab)

Twenty-five most whipped men in the world (Style.com)

The exploitation of Daniel Radcliffe’s bum! Daniel Radcliffe’s Bum! (AgentBedhead)

You can never un-see this, so click at own risk (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend gave her a ring. And not on the phone (Celebitchy)

Madonna still wearing hers, surprisingly (ImNotObsessed)

Cha-cha not the only thing going down on Dancing with the Stars (CelebritySmack)

When bad makeup happens to good C-Listers (DerekHail)

Colin Farrell celebrates his third Sober St Pat’s (ICYDK)

Jen/Owen/Kate/fake triangle fake drama (popbytes)

Shia LaBeouf is on the lam! (CelebNewsWire)

Things white people like: Dinner Parties! (ThingsWhitePeopleLike)

Jenna Jameson to star in Zombie Strippers? Documentary, perhaps? (CircusHour)

The pulling power of celebrity: someone still wants Carrot Top (Craigslist)

Amy Winehouse really could use that infamous red bra right about now (NSFW!!!) (POTP)

Is this the most disappointingly misleading headline ever? (Cityrag)

Halle Berry covers her baby’s bases. Planning a move to Gaza? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Steve Jobs = Cthulhu (Raincoaster)

President’s Links

The Divine Miss M rises from the dead, returns to play Vegas (disembedded)

These boobs were made for Walken (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan vs Marilyn Monroe: duelling nekkids (CelebritySmack)

Mr. Amy Winehouse OD’s in prison again (Celebitchy)

Joan Collins, home on the range (TheMeatScale)

Chez Suri: The TomKat love nest (Derober)

Heather Mills stands by her man, whether he likes it or not (Dlisted)

Aretha fails to get respect from PETA (Bossip)

Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Kirsten Dunst for being Drunkst (Yeeeeah)

Jakey gets a makeover (PopSugar)

Kathleen Turner made of stone, not romancing (HollywoodRag)

Russell Crowe cast in new Austin Powers flick? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Lily Allen, stripper chauffeuse (ImNotObsessed)

Poll: Who’s the hottest American President? (HolyCandy)

Travis Barker dates up, Paris Hilton dates down (DailyStab)

Heath Ledger: Saint or Sinner?  (Defamer)

Do women want gossip that hates women? (Jezebel)

Celebrity toplessness reaches critical levels: McConaughey alert! (Gawker)

The Britney and Xenu Variety Show

Britney Spears’ GurneyGate 2.0 : the timeline (Defamer)

GurneyGate 2.0: The starfuckers speak! (CelebritySmack)

GurneyGate 2.0 was a plot? (ASocialitesLife)

Britney Spears is NOT full of it (CelebWarship)

Justin Chambers is keeping Britney company on the psych ward (TMZ)

Ryan Secrest is a Victoria’s Secret angel (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity day jobs (Cityrag)

Katie Holmes rebels! (Celebitchy)

Xenu strikes back; Scientology centers evacuated (Dlisted)

Jessica Simpson has a well-padded torso (DailyStab)

Speaking of which: quiz: who’s your celebrity boob twin? (raincoaster)

Elijah Wood: hot or not? (POTP)

Rachel Bilson IS the Eighties (GoFugYourself)

Jake Gyllenhaal was stayin’ alive (NinjaDude)

Billy Bush lays the smackdown on Mary Hart over exploitative Heath Ledger video (HolyCandy)

George Clooney is serious, perfect (Popsugar)

Teri Hatcher is a bag carrier (ImNotObsessed)

Behind the masks: Michael Jackson’s children have faces. White faces (Mollygood)

JK Rowling and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat (TheMeatScale)

Pete Doherty at no risk of babydaddyhood (PerezHilton)

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