Ayyyy!

Seriously, two Strongbows and I was down for the count. My liver’s gotten soft during the dry spell. As a proud Irish-Canuck, I’m mortified. But, of course, as a proud Canuck, I can always get another liver for free.

Trent Reznor is nervous (AgentBedhead)

Instead of watching television, you could just watch really, really stupid people all the time (AmyGrindhouse)

Lohan banned (BusyBeeBlogger)

Rihanna recovers from apparent temporary brain injury (CeleBitchy)

Bruno is out (CelebritySmack)

Blog commenters have more sex (Gawker)

Which reminds me, have you commented in the caption contest yet? (TeenyManolo)

or the Celebrity Dad Faceoff? (TeenyManolo)

Johnny Depp saves lives? (EvilBeet)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is legal! (DListed)

U2’s latest charity case (CelebuWreck)

Kylie is an unnatural beauty (GabbyBabble)

Getting it too right (GoFugYourself)

Robert Pattinson a dick at Dicks on Dicks (INO)

Ashton Kutcher topless and…and who cares what else? (JustJared)

Announcing the best chest in the world (raincoaster)

Hollywood’s golden couple reunites (SeriouslyOMG)

The Jade Goody retrospective (UKPopSugar)

Why has Jamie Oliver got it in for Bob Geldof? (HolyMoly)

Kristen Stewart talks about some howlers (TenGossip)

Seth Rogen will make the little babies cry (Websters)

Hot Tom and Jerry is actually a noxious drink, but it has a place in the canon if only because of its supporting role in Damon Runyan’s immortal Dancing Dan’s Christmas.

Bill Murray, 24 hour party person (AgentBedhead)

The Gossip Girl gossip (AmyGrindhouse)

Suri and Katie have the same stylist (BricksAndStones)

Sesame Street goes to Gitmo? (CeleBitchy)

Another Viggo? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

The latest Crazy Spears Family rumour (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

No, THIS is the latest Crazy Spears Family rumour (DailyStab)

Nobody wins when you play Russian Roulette (CelebritySmack)

Carrie Fisher comes full circle (Defamer)

As does Christina Aguilera (GabbyBabble)

Kim Basinger, however, is eternal (Websters)

Maverick’s Crackberry AWOL (DListed)

Who is this woman and what has she done with Audrina Patridge? (EvilBeet)

Middle-aged spinster displays desperation (CandyKirby)

Joel McHale gives the un-royal wave (IBBB)

Because if you can’t afford a fireplace the next best thing is a pot of smoky Russian Caravan and a book of ghost stories on a cold night. Or Trent Reznor. Trent Reznor is good on a cold night…or so I’ve heard!

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Clark Gable vs Jimmy Stewart (TeenyManolo)

ScarJo rocks the Mother Of The Bride look (Websters)

Amy Winehouse is back to the salt mines (SocialiteLife)

Boy George really DID want to hurt him (CeleBitchy)

Search for the real killers interrupted for next 33 years (SeriouslyOMG)

Justice for Cate Blanchett (PopBytes)

Anna Wintour still destroying the dreams of America’s best and brightest (WizBangPop)

George Clooney, Socialite for Africa (UKPopSugar)

Queen Oprah crowned (PerezHilton)

Nicole Kidman is stuck on Sunday (ImNotObsessed)

Full House refilled (IBBB)

Clay Aiken does not <3 Kathy Griffin (CandyKirby)

Jamie Lynn Spears’s doctor sucks (GabbyBabble)

The reports of the death of the gossip blogosphere have been greatly exaggerated (EvilBeet)

Yet another reason to hate Katherine Heigl (Defamer)

Bettie Page had a heart attack! (CelebritySmack)

Pete=Pete?!?!?!?! (AgentBedhead)

The Vampire’s Kiss has no cure, but if Gatorade came in Garlic flavour it would be pretty close.

The lights are on but nobody’s home at the Playboy Mansion (BusyBeeBlogger)

Lindsay and Sam are mole people (CelebWarship)

Hugh Grant is working his way down the romcom co-star list (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Marilyn Manson doesn’t even try anymore (AgentBedhead)

Celebrities who don’t need masks to terrify (CelebritySmack)

Does Kate Hudson have a new victim? (DailyStab)

Heidi Klum is a goddess! (DListed)

They don’t make Bond girls like they used to (Defamer)

Punchline of the day (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld was in costume yesterday too (FakeKarl)

HalloWEENs (FourFour)

Colin Farrell is a bad boy (GabbyBabble)

For Juliette Lewis, every day is Halloween (GoFugYourself)

The gargoyles 0f NYC (CityRag)

The gargoyles of the A List (Worth1000)

Kate Moss without makeup (IDLYITW)

An interview with Satan (HolyCandy)

Grover works the red carpet (IBBB)

Let them eat cupcakes then! (CandyKirby)

THIS is reality tv? Polo??? (Mollygood)

Katherine Heigl goes green? (PopSugar)

What a dog that Jennifer Garner is (SeriouslyOMG)

Finally! Jamie Lynn has a job! (Websters)

Well it kinda rhymes! Besides, who doesn’t like a good sipping grog and some crispy-fried frog’s legs to dunk?

Steve Carell is Mister Smooth (Lolebrity)

Someone nail those Spears fallopian tubes shut! (AgentBedhead)

Gerard Butler goes all Spartan on a pap (CeleBitchy)

Travis Barker has second sight! (CelebritySmack)

Pamela Anderson vs Cate Blanchett? (Defamer)

Lauren Bacall does not fear the wrath of Xenu (DListed)

Old King Karl was a merry, somewhat addled old soul (FakeKarl)

Get your That One t-shirts here! (EvilBeet)

Real Paris Hilton gets real political with Fake POTUS (GabbyBabble)

Weird Al is BACK, BITCHES! (SeriouslyOMG)

Aubrey O’Day must be a Republican (GoFugYourself)

The least wanted celebrity sex tape in history (CandyKirby)

MySpace fun with Lindsay Lohan fans (IBBB)

Spaghetti Cat strikes back! (MollyGood)

and then Madonna banned the Pope, Rasputin, Ethelred the Unready, and Howard the Duck (Websters)

Princes William and Harry are biker brothers (UKPopSugar)

The Cruise’s e-meter gets hooked up to the internet (CelebrityDirt)

Oprah puts Tom Cruise’s foot in her mouth (AgentBedhead)

Air Sex CSI? (CandyKirby)

The secret shame of Michael Phelps (DListed)

Phoebie Price wins one! (CeleBitchy)

Shanna Moakler speaks out about the plane crash (CelebritySmack)

Meet the LizardMan! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The award for best pop video of all time goes to… (DailyStab)

Richest Congressmen (Jossip)

Does Simon Cowell make you randy, baby? (ImNotObsessed)

Top five Emmy quotes (PopSugar)

Gwyneth Paltrow cooks all her own food, employs macrobiotic chef presumably just to keep him off welfare (JustJared)

Josh Groban: laughingstock or genius? (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper’s secret drag show cabaret shame (Gawker)

ZOMG Perez Hilton has a ghostwriter??? (EvilBeet)

The Jamie Lynn Spears porn investigation is NOT what you think (CelebrityBabyScoop)

VOTE CLORIS!!!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

Jeremy Piven bites the hand that feeds (GabbyBabble)

The David Beckham Beefcake Calendar for 2009! (PopBytes)

Yes, I know I’ve used that joke before. What can I say? I’m just stale because I’m out of gin.

Sir Elton John will snort Lily Allen under the table (Websters)

John Mayer’s drunken wish for POTUS (CelebrityDirt)

The US dodged a bullet with this one (GabbyBabble)

Chelsea’s getting an assist from a pornstar Lately (CelebuWreck)

Alexa Ray Joel: It’s Just Fugly to Me (CandyKirby)

Henry Rollins has even creepier penpals than I do! (AgentBedhead)

Dave Letterman can afford to be gracious (CelebritySmack)

It’s Hot Britney, bitch! (CelebWarship)

It’s Britney at the VMA’s again, bitch! (EvilBeet)

Keira Knightly isn’t sarcastic at all! (DailyStab)

Miranda Grosvenor’s blog? (CelebritiesAndTelephones)

Formerly pregnant teen sends pregnant teen a present; it’s not news, it’s US politics (CeleBitchy)

Play the Joker Lookalike Contest! (Defamer)

Jason Priestly has a beard just like John Travolta! (DListed)

Will has grace (ImNotObsessed)

Kate Moss, working girl (Radar)

The Republicans hate Palin (Mollygood)

Mullets for ‘Merica! (CityRag)

Xena’s rock ‘n roll roolz (Lolebrity)

Rainbow Killer’s parade rained on (Websters)

The Ebony and Ivory ticket (TheBosh)

Bright Lights, Big Shitty (Radar)

Barbie’s rod attracts…- no, I’m a responsible parenting blogger. I can’t go there! (WizbangPop)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Ewan McGregor vs Blair Underwood (TeenyManolo)

Selling your sis out to the tabloids! (Mollygood)

Kate “Marlboro” Moss isn’t anorexic (ImNotObsessed)

Jennifer Aniston dresses like San Fernando Valley Barbie for a trip to the Met (PopSugar)

White people are funny (CandyKirby)

The most low-rent bust in history (DListed)

Sabrina, the teen-age mom? (JustJared)

The practical wedding dress (GoFugYourself)

Miley Cyrus is Sweet Sexteen! (Defamer)

Anna Faris is a proud Stonette (DailyStab)

Bad Bedhead Britney (CelebritySmack)

That’s gotta hurt, Amy Winehouse! (AgentBedhead)

Teenage single mom moves in with Mom to recoup from cheating babydaddy (CeleBitchy)

Pete Wentz wants YOU! To fetch him a taco! (Lolebrity)

Evander Holyfield pays child support after legal battle (BlackCelebrityKids)

Carla Bruni’s chansons d’amour leave 7/G8 cold (AgentBedhead)

JonBenet’s family cleared (CeleBitchy)

Ma Brady speaks out! (CelebritySmack)

Lisa Bonet doesn’t let being born 40 years too late stop her from rocking the hippie look (CelebrityBabyScoop)

David Lee Roth is nuts (TorontoSun)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is OK! (DailyStab)

Miley Cyrus is being all Miley Cyrus (DanasDirt)

Tom Cruise in: The Village People! (Defamer)

The Gawker Glossary (Gawker)

Matthew McConaughey rents the kid out for a snotload of cashola (DListed)

Christian Bale…you may commence drooling prior to clicking on the link (Websters)

Michael Jackson’s got some new wheels! (SeriouslyOMG)

Mary-Kate Trollsen is back to rehab (ASL)

Sarah Jessica Parker: The Bitter Bitten! (PopSugar)

John Mayer loves Isaac (Mollygood)

Naomi Campbell, trash collector (CandyKirby)

da hedlynz. dey rite demselvz (Lolebrity)

Omarosa makes The Bitch Switch (DirtyDirtDirt)

Breaking: Reality tv has standards! (CelebWarship)

Calum takes his Best shot at Lindsay Lohan (GabbyBabble)

50 Cent gives Taco Bell his two cents (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse is down for the count (CelebritySmack)

Hathaway hath a haircut (DailyStab)

Shia Labeouf sets off alarms (ImNotObsessed)

No love for the Love Guru (CeleBitchy)

Michael Jackson’s kids photographed (CityRag)

Tom Selleck’s driving down these days (AllieIsWired)

Kelly Ripa is a Tippi Hedren impersonator (DanasDirt)

Jaden Smith takes after his dad (Websters)

My Little Celebrity Pony? (BuzzSugar)

Helen Hunt and the wonders of Photoshop (CelebSlam)

Mandy Moore is NOT dating the elderly Canuck (PopSugar)

A Spears in college? Never! (IBBB)

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker are cruel to their son (DListed)

Paris Hilton and The Pope star in: The Odd Couple (AgentBedhead)(link challenger)

Steve Guttenberg ar not haz-bean! (Lolebrity)

Marcrida Patterson in When Underwear Attacks! (CelebritySmack)

Taco Bell presents 50 Cent in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (DailyStab)

Desperate Craigslister in Bringing Up Baby (CandyKirby)

Eddie Murphy in Daddy Daycare! Oh, he already was? (ImNotObsessed)

Will Smith in…WHAT????? (SeriouslyOMG)

Amy Winehouse in The Hospital (Mollygood)

Meg Ryan in The Time Machine (IBBB)

My Fair Fugly (GoFugYourself)

Jamie-Lynn Spears in Labour Pains! (Websters)

Jamie-Lynn’s babydaddy in Pun Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (PerezHilton)

David Beckham in The Illusionist (Yeeeeah)

The five unsexiest movies about sex (Spout)

Charlotte Church in The Club (CelebWarship)

Piers Morgan in Gold Diggers of 2008 (CeleBitchy)

Britney Spears(?) and David Hasselhoff in Bosom Buddies (GenosWorld)

The Good Soldier: Link challenge accepted (AgentBedhead)

NHL/Hollywood doppelgangers (Defamer)

Hey, big spender! TomKat blows $100,000 on Suri’s birthday party (GabbyBabble)

Smelling a trend: Julia Roberts is “naturally fragrant” (Ecorazzi)

Kelly Clarkson is a naturist (TheBlemish)

Paris Hilton doesn’t stay at the Moscow Hilton, got banned from Moscow Hyatt (TheRadReport)

Spears Family a living example of laissez-faire divinity (WendyWayrad)

A waiting world salivates: OJ Simpson vs Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice! (AgentBedhead)

Harriet Carter and the penis leaker? (IBBB)

Laurie Anderson finally makes an honest man of Lou Reed (CelebWarship)

Miley Cyrus, literatus? (People)

Will Ferrell still willing to work with children (DailyStab)

The Revenge of Grace Jones: hot male celebs who look like lesbians (CityRag)

That’s so Orlando Brown: star goes missing (BittenAndBound)

Also missing: Lake Bell’s neck (WebstersIsMyBitch)

MarkeyMarkMarkIII (ImNotObsessed)

Mariah Carey not a breeder: call from Alicia Keys on line #1? (CelebritySmack)

Elijah Wood in: Sex and the Spaghetti (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse is British youth’s top heroin heroine (NewMusicExpress)

Kumar goes to U Penn without Harold! (Celebitchy)

Rachel McAdams is a Genius Barfly (JustJared)

Michelle Williams is haunted by the ghost of Heath Ledger? (Mollygood)

American Idol, kiss, KISS (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Tila Tequila has a series and Paris Hilton doesn’t: justice? (Dlisted)