Yes, I know I’ve used that joke before. What can I say? I’m just stale because I’m out of gin.

Sir Elton John will snort Lily Allen under the table (Websters)

John Mayer’s drunken wish for POTUS (CelebrityDirt)

The US dodged a bullet with this one (GabbyBabble)

Chelsea’s getting an assist from a pornstar Lately (CelebuWreck)

Alexa Ray Joel: It’s Just Fugly to Me (CandyKirby)

Henry Rollins has even creepier penpals than I do! (AgentBedhead)

Dave Letterman can afford to be gracious (CelebritySmack)

It’s Hot Britney, bitch! (CelebWarship)

It’s Britney at the VMA’s again, bitch! (EvilBeet)

Keira Knightly isn’t sarcastic at all! (DailyStab)

Miranda Grosvenor’s blog? (CelebritiesAndTelephones)

Formerly pregnant teen sends pregnant teen a present; it’s not news, it’s US politics (CeleBitchy)

Play the Joker Lookalike Contest! (Defamer)

Jason Priestly has a beard just like John Travolta! (DListed)

Will has grace (ImNotObsessed)

Kate Moss, working girl (Radar)

The Republicans hate Palin (Mollygood)

Mullets for ‘Merica! (CityRag)

Xena’s rock ‘n roll roolz (Lolebrity)

Rainbow Killer’s parade rained on (Websters)

The Ebony and Ivory ticket (TheBosh)

Bright Lights, Big Shitty (Radar)

Barbie’s rod attracts…- no, I’m a responsible parenting blogger. I can’t go there! (WizbangPop)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Ewan McGregor vs Blair Underwood (TeenyManolo)

Selling your sis out to the tabloids! (Mollygood)

Kate “Marlboro” Moss isn’t anorexic (ImNotObsessed)

Jennifer Aniston dresses like San Fernando Valley Barbie for a trip to the Met (PopSugar)

White people are funny (CandyKirby)

The most low-rent bust in history (DListed)

Sabrina, the teen-age mom? (JustJared)

The practical wedding dress (GoFugYourself)

Miley Cyrus is Sweet Sexteen! (Defamer)

Anna Faris is a proud Stonette (DailyStab)

Bad Bedhead Britney (CelebritySmack)

That’s gotta hurt, Amy Winehouse! (AgentBedhead)

Teenage single mom moves in with Mom to recoup from cheating babydaddy (CeleBitchy)

Pete Wentz wants YOU! To fetch him a taco! (Lolebrity)

Evander Holyfield pays child support after legal battle (BlackCelebrityKids)

Carla Bruni’s chansons d’amour leave 7/G8 cold (AgentBedhead)

JonBenet’s family cleared (CeleBitchy)

Ma Brady speaks out! (CelebritySmack)

Lisa Bonet doesn’t let being born 40 years too late stop her from rocking the hippie look (CelebrityBabyScoop)

David Lee Roth is nuts (TorontoSun)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is OK! (DailyStab)

Miley Cyrus is being all Miley Cyrus (DanasDirt)

Tom Cruise in: The Village People! (Defamer)

The Gawker Glossary (Gawker)

Matthew McConaughey rents the kid out for a snotload of cashola (DListed)

Christian Bale…you may commence drooling prior to clicking on the link (Websters)

Michael Jackson’s got some new wheels! (SeriouslyOMG)

Mary-Kate Trollsen is back to rehab (ASL)

Sarah Jessica Parker: The Bitter Bitten! (PopSugar)

John Mayer loves Isaac (Mollygood)

Naomi Campbell, trash collector (CandyKirby)

da hedlynz. dey rite demselvz (Lolebrity)

Omarosa makes The Bitch Switch (DirtyDirtDirt)

Breaking: Reality tv has standards! (CelebWarship)

Calum takes his Best shot at Lindsay Lohan (GabbyBabble)

50 Cent gives Taco Bell his two cents (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse is down for the count (CelebritySmack)

Hathaway hath a haircut (DailyStab)

Shia Labeouf sets off alarms (ImNotObsessed)

No love for the Love Guru (CeleBitchy)

Michael Jackson’s kids photographed (CityRag)

Tom Selleck’s driving down these days (AllieIsWired)

Kelly Ripa is a Tippi Hedren impersonator (DanasDirt)

Jaden Smith takes after his dad (Websters)

My Little Celebrity Pony? (BuzzSugar)

Helen Hunt and the wonders of Photoshop (CelebSlam)

Mandy Moore is NOT dating the elderly Canuck (PopSugar)

A Spears in college? Never! (IBBB)

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker are cruel to their son (DListed)

Paris Hilton and The Pope star in: The Odd Couple (AgentBedhead)(link challenger)

Steve Guttenberg ar not haz-bean! (Lolebrity)

Marcrida Patterson in When Underwear Attacks! (CelebritySmack)

Taco Bell presents 50 Cent in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (DailyStab)

Desperate Craigslister in Bringing Up Baby (CandyKirby)

Eddie Murphy in Daddy Daycare! Oh, he already was? (ImNotObsessed)

Will Smith in…WHAT????? (SeriouslyOMG)

Amy Winehouse in The Hospital (Mollygood)

Meg Ryan in The Time Machine (IBBB)

My Fair Fugly (GoFugYourself)

Jamie-Lynn Spears in Labour Pains! (Websters)

Jamie-Lynn’s babydaddy in Pun Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (PerezHilton)

David Beckham in The Illusionist (Yeeeeah)

The five unsexiest movies about sex (Spout)

Charlotte Church in The Club (CelebWarship)

Piers Morgan in Gold Diggers of 2008 (CeleBitchy)

Britney Spears(?) and David Hasselhoff in Bosom Buddies (GenosWorld)

The Good Soldier: Link challenge accepted (AgentBedhead)

NHL/Hollywood doppelgangers (Defamer)

Hey, big spender! TomKat blows $100,000 on Suri’s birthday party (GabbyBabble)

Smelling a trend: Julia Roberts is “naturally fragrant” (Ecorazzi)

Kelly Clarkson is a naturist (TheBlemish)

Paris Hilton doesn’t stay at the Moscow Hilton, got banned from Moscow Hyatt (TheRadReport)

Spears Family a living example of laissez-faire divinity (WendyWayrad)

A waiting world salivates: OJ Simpson vs Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice! (AgentBedhead)

Harriet Carter and the penis leaker? (IBBB)

Laurie Anderson finally makes an honest man of Lou Reed (CelebWarship)

Miley Cyrus, literatus? (People)

Will Ferrell still willing to work with children (DailyStab)

The Revenge of Grace Jones: hot male celebs who look like lesbians (CityRag)

That’s so Orlando Brown: star goes missing (BittenAndBound)

Also missing: Lake Bell’s neck (WebstersIsMyBitch)

MarkeyMarkMarkIII (ImNotObsessed)

Mariah Carey not a breeder: call from Alicia Keys on line #1? (CelebritySmack)

Elijah Wood in: Sex and the Spaghetti (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse is British youth’s top heroin heroine (NewMusicExpress)

Kumar goes to U Penn without Harold! (Celebitchy)

Rachel McAdams is a Genius Barfly (JustJared)

Michelle Williams is haunted by the ghost of Heath Ledger? (Mollygood)

American Idol, kiss, KISS (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Tila Tequila has a series and Paris Hilton doesn’t: justice? (Dlisted)

Robert Downey Jr is a cunning linguist (Jossip)

Amy Winehouse doesn’t have a leg to stand on, almost (WendyWayrad)

NKOTB are miracle workers! (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan parties with fellow leggings abuser (DailyStab)

Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest’s Tryst night (DListed)

Ellen Page (1 nomination, 0 Oscars) severely disses Jane Fonda (6 nominations, 2 Oscars) (Defamer)

Courtney Love’s purse pharmacy (Yeeeeah)

Jeri Ryan Seacrest, Pamela Anderson Cooper, and Boy George Bush (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Disney Superstar goes naked Down Under (CircusHour)

74 reasons to hate TMZ (Gawker)

More than you needed to know about Roseanne Barr’s ladyparts (CelebritySmack)

Doogie Howser hates Britney Spears (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jamie-Lynn Spears hurt in drunken brawl (CeleBitchy)

Gangland rumbles reach new low: nursery school (Bossip)

Aging Canadian surgical curiosity and sex cougar invited to White House (ICYDK)

Simon Cowell haunts Maternity wards to bathe his skin in life-giving placenta (HollywoodRag)

Halle Berry is a golf fanatic? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Your dose of downer: Celebrity incomes (HuffPo)

Posh Spice and the Adams family (JustJared)

The Ozzfather: Survivor Micronesia recap (RealityTV)

Margaret Cho is a tour guide in the Tunnel of Love (AgentBedhead)

Quentin Crisps (FrontierFormerEditor)

Pete Doherty stole Paula Abdul’s gloves (Dlisted)

Anonymous vs Scientology, round n+1: Operation Reconnect (1stepbeond)

Cult Friction, Scientology decoded (RadarOnline)

Jerry Seinfeld flips out (Derober)

Lindsay Lohan loses a zero, finds the role of a lifetime (CelebritySmack)

Justin Timberlake was a little bit country when he was only a little bit, himself (AllieIsWired)

Angelina Jolie before she had Brad and rhinoplasty (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Naomi Campbell behaves Naomi Campbellianly again (CelebWarship)

New pic of JLo’s twins: r not so cute akshuly (TeenyManolo)

Larry Campbell behaves Larry Campbellianly at Little League (Bumpshack)

OK what? Suri Cruise returns to Earth; celebrity mags, not so much (OK)

Anne Hathaway’s boytoy arrested for blowing through others’ cash like it was…blow? (WendyWayrad)

Baby wants her back back: entire Beckham family stuffs their jeans (TheRadReport)

Steve Jobs takes on the Big Apple (Wired)

Celebrity moose knuckle (Cityrag)

Happy birthday, Britney! (CircusHour)

Happy birthday, Jamie-Lynn (CelebrityBabyScoop)

George Clooney’s not-so-secret bromance (Celebitchy)

Claudia Schiffer hits the slopes with Mini-Her (JustJared)

Tomorrow NKOTB on Today! (DailyStab)