Ayyyy!

At last we learn the backstory to the shot herd ’round the world. Oh Snoop, we’ve all been there.

Claire Danes knows how to work a trenchcoat (Lolebrity)

Celebrities! They’re not like us! They can walk in these shoes! (CelebToast)

The best 404 message online (AgentBedhead)

Om Nom Nom WHA???? (AllieIsWired)

Brittany Murphy, Casey Johnson, Basic Health Rules laid to rest (AmyGrindhouse)

Demon in sheep’s clothing (BWE)

Anne Hathaway flips the bird (BricksAndStones)

Alexis for Alexis! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ooh La Little Girl Lingerie? (LaughingStork)

Kate, I think you dropped something (HolyMoly)

Sandra Bullock will cut a bitch (LitelySalted)

Forget Mischa Barton, try Carole Channing! (LaineyGossip)

Kristen Stewart in court for prostitution (TMZ)

Ralph Lauren snubs in public! (CelebrityMound)

Ellen for President? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Tom Brady’s 2-month-old can run??? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Oooh, ACDC MUST DIE!!!! (CeleBitchy)

Jay-Qui? (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Possibly the most terrifying headline I’ve ever read (CelebritySmack)

Kanye survives horrifying ordeal (CelebSlam)

Bublé’s bongo bowl (CityRag)

Dennis Quaid’s farmer’s tan (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The Real BabyMamas of Atlanta (Crunk+Disorderly)

Brangelina lives! (DailyStab)

Paris has gone to the dogs (DanasDirt)

Nicknames of the literati (Gawker)

The return of PuppyBowl (DListed)

Betty White is terrifying (EvilBeet)

Small Wonder it was cancelled (FourFour)

Janet Jackson is a Janet Jackson impersonator (GabbyBabble)

Best Dressed/Worst Dressed at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)

Snooki’s makeover (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Qween no longer on Scene (INeedMyFix)

How Hugh Jackman rolls (HaveUHeard)

World’s most expensive benchwarmers (HollywoodBackwash)

Flack pointedly does NOT deny Paris Hilton is dumb (HollywoodRag)

Sniff Beyonce for $50 (HollywoodTuna)

KFat achieves self-awareness (ImNotObsessed)

Leif Garrett busted NOT A FLASHBACK TO 1975 (Janet CharltonsHollywood)

Virgins versus Texting! (JustJared)

PETA vs Avatar (Movieline)

Jessica Biel definitely not Jewish (FitCeleb)

Frances Bean taking singing lessons (PerezHilton)

Stock Anderson Cooper Adorable Story (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Russell Brand shoots, scores (UKPopSugar)

Jamaican Bobsled Team not so cool (WizBangPop)

Orlando Bloom is all wet (PopBytes)

Kelly Clarkson in flamewar (RadarOnline)

Re-Enchanted (SeriouslyOMG)

Tila says the butler didn’t do it (ASocialiteLife)

Conan O’Brien’s Valentine to Britney (SquareEyes)

Saffy, darling, are you slumming in this movie? (TenGossip)

John Mayer needs to take off the Wayfarers (TheBosh)

Mischa Barton wins Best Supporting Hose (TheSkinny)

You know that blooming tea stuff? It looks strangely familiar…

Jennifer Aniston attempts to make up for lost time? (GabbyBabble)

Remember, Remember the 5th of November (GuidoFawkes)

Biggest casting against type since Darryl Hannah played an astrophysicist in Roxanne (AgentBedhead)

Not Gut! Steve Guttenberg is a flasher (CelebritySmack)

The fats of life: Janet Jackson’s diet book cancelled (HolyMoly)

Blaaaaaaaake, Incarcerated…in rehab (DailyStab)

Fun with celebrity holograms! (BestWeekEver)

Hologram-O-rama (Defamer)

RIP Michael Crichton (MomLogic)

Marilyn Manson is single again, girls! (DListed)

Matthew McConaughey is singlehandedly bringing trailer trash back (CeleBitchy)

Paris Hilton would overdress for the opening of an envelope (CelebWarship)

The world is ending, but the afterparty has begun! (IBBB)

Ashlee Simpson is Chuck Barry’s dream girl? (CandyKirby)

Anna Wintour birthday fanfic (GoFugYourself)

Prince Harry, charity hottie (UKPopSugar)

What did Vegas do to deserve this? (Websters)

Ryan Seacrest takes his best shot (SeriouslyOMG)

How does it go? It’s the rusty nail that gets the free refill? Well it SHOULD go that way, dammit!

Gossip blogger blogs about being interviewed about gossip blogging on blog (EvilBeet)

Malkovich? Malkovich. Malkovich! is on teh internets (AgentBedhead)

Bono ar in ur latte, savin da werld (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ahnold will not terminate marriage equality (CelebrityDirt)

Cougartown! (GenosWorld)

I, Guy Richie, vow to love, honour, and obey these 36 line items in the marriage contract… (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Diddy is a daddy, and a hella good cook! (CelebWarship)

The Madonna List (TheRadReport)

Gwen Stefani bucks trend, releases baby pix for free! (PopBytes)

Kevin Smith is the scourge of plumbing fixtures everywhere (CeleBitchy)

Janet Jackson on tour, now with 30% less obscenity (CelebritySmack)

The Trollson Twins clean up well as Vargas Girls (DailyStab)

Russell Band inspires unlikely labour activism at the Beeb (HolyMoly)

Cloris has her own reality show! My prayers have been answered! (Defamer)

Mariah Carey’s Halloween style crumbles (Websters)

Don’t you HATE it when someone shows up in the same dress as you? (DListed)

Bloody Hell! Endometriosis is catching??? (GabbyBabble)

Katherine Heigl is playing games with us (CandyKirby)

The View from the bottom of the barrel (IBBB)

Nicolette Sheridan goes down on her handlers (SeriouslyOMG)

Roger Ebert’s Rules of Order (Gawker)

Britney pushes the boundaries of SFW with her new vid (BusyBeeBlogger)

The Indiana Jones gang bang thang (AgentBedhead)

Britney is a womanizer (CelebritySmack)

Colin Farrell fesses up to his demented past (DailyStab)

Kim Kardashian is surgery-free! Great pumpkin expected any day! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The 105-year-old virgin (CandyKirby)

Full House’s magical healing powers (IBBB)

Janet Jackson beds down with Tyra (Mollygood)

Sarah Palin to impersonate Sarah Palin impersonator on SNL? (Defamer)

“The number of porn movies currently being shot with Joe Biden lookalikes is alarming.” You don’t say. (Gawker)

Colin Farrell will melt your MIND! (ImNotObsessed)

Vanessa Hudgens stole Christmas! (JustJared)

Whose buns? (PopSugar)

Charity T&A suffers (Radar)

Palin Power: it’s a bad thing (GabbyBabble)

Robert Downey Jr is Starbuck Chaplin (DListed)

The Nugent Doctrine (CeleBitchy)

The sadly out of fashion Monkey Gland is not as naughty as it sounds. Ditto panko mango.

Salma Hayek shows off (Lolebrity)

Sweatin’ to the Oldies with Britney Spears! (CelebrityDirt)

Jennifer Aniston goes back to her roots (BusyBeeBlogger)

Janet Jackson unable to perform because of old U2 song (CelebuWreck)

Kanye West’s sitcom goes south (AgentBedhead)

Minnie Driver end-runs the tabloids, releases baby pix on MySpace (CeleBitchy)

Can somebody loan Lindsay Lohan 5k? It’s for a good cause! (CelebritySmack)

Joe Biden’s botox bombshell? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Britney continues her ongoing attempt to crack the professional go-kart circuit (IBBB)

Captain Jack Sparrow’s treasure chest is worth $54 million (Defamer)

The cult of Tina Fey (Gawker)

Robert Downey Jr doesn’t need your abuse; he’ll abuse himself! (CandyKirby)

Karl Lagerfeld in: Green Acres! (FakeKarl)

Sarah Palin for Covergirl (GOTA)

CROCS ATTACK THE CHOSEN ONE! (PopSugar)

Kingston Rossdale upstages his has-been entourage (SeriouslyOMG)

I have the sad duty of reporting that the “hot buttered gin” experiment was a total failure. In the absence of further information we are blaming the cloves.

Is it real or is it Photoshop? Only TV Guide knows for sure (Websters)

Clitt can’t split!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

Kate Moss’s ex wants to sperminate her (CeleBitchy)

Leighton Meester goes from rags to riches, or at least from jail to stardom (WhatWouldTylerDurdenDo)

Claymates not adapting well to the latest news (Defamer)

More on Claynation in mourning (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse experiences difficulty holding down a job (ImNotObsessed)

Drew Barrymore not too picky to settle for a fanny-pack wearing Vanilla Ice impersonator (DListed)

The perfect gift…for your worst enemy (AgentBedhead)

The Battling Lohans are at it again (CelebritySmack)

Oasis is SO not getting invited to Balmoral (DailyStab)

I am cancelling laundry “to focus on the economy” (Radar)

Janet Jackson is an International Woman of Mystery (IBBB)

Rilo Kiley is all about the pottymouth (CelebrityDirt)

It’s Janet Jackson vs Laa-Laa the Teletubby in the Battle of the Baby-Voiced Yellow-Suited Alien Beings!  One is famous for their erotic songs, the other for their idiotic songs. 

I like to have a Martini
I like three, at most
After three I’m under the table
After four, I’m under the host!
Dorothy Parker

Sienna Miller, superhero! (Lolebrity)

Janet Jackson appears to believe she’s one as well (JustJared)

It’s Pink Shirt Day! (TeenyManolo)

Mischa Mouse debuts as designer (CelebuWreck)

This Brit makes an ass of herself (AgentBedhead)

Congratulations to Miss Tara Reid on her engagement (CelebritySmack)

Congratulations to Miss Samantha Ronson on her engagement (HolyMoly)

Petra Nemcova congratulates Kelly Osbourne on her skirt made entirely of disco shirts (DailyStab)

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt reunited? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica Alba’s BDSM PSA (EvilBeet)

Harriet Carter lingerie day, yay! (IBBB)

Katy Perry, novelty stripper in a toddler costume (Websters)

Ashton Kutcher on the bathroom habits of the billionaires (POTP)

Is it hot in here or is it just me? (AprilWinchell)

Betsey Johnson is SO STOKED for Talk Like A Pirate Day (GoFugYourself)

La WHA? (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Bears invade LA! (CandyKirby)

The secret history of the Obama pig (Defamer)

Anne Hathaway is no longer a receiver of stolen goods (TheSmokingGun)

When you’ve struck out everywhere else… (SeriouslyOMG)

The Brohawk, in its native environment (Radar)