Getting into the Holiday Spirit, we present for your amusement and delectation the fashion faceoff between the coordinated and subdued Mister Jay-Z (known as “Jay Zed” in Canuckistan):

Beyonce made him do it

…going up against the effortless cool of Mister Snoop Dogg.

Snoop Dogg DARES you to say something.

Quote of the day: Jackie O would not have camel toe.
Tim Gunn

Apparently, looking like a hermaphroditic Moroccan bellhop is going to be big in 2011. And camel toe.

Everybody looks fab in go-go boots (Lolebrity)
Bill Gates’ Manhunt profile (raincoaster)
Tony Blair’s criminal mind (TheShebeenClub)
Ben Afflecks’ red carpet reign of terror (AgentBedhead)
Miley Cyrus’s grunge stripper look (AmyGrindhouse)
Caption Hamfleck! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Brad no longer Pitted? (CelebCosmeticSurgery)
Lou Reed snubs Susan Boyle (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Dream couple to reunite? (CeleBitchy)
Julia Roberts graded C (CelebritySmack)
Celebrity mug shots (CityRag)
Diane Krueger wins another fashion award (CojoStyle)
Tom Brady’s crackup (DailyStab)
Everybody loves a man in uniform! (DListed)
Look who has a record deal and you don’t (GabbyBabble)
Who wants to see Goopy yodel for two hours? (HaveUHeard)
Karl is laughing at Diane too (INeedMyFix)
Jon Hamm discussing porn and … you’re not still reading this are you? (JustJared)
Tacky press release of the day (MovieLine)
Megan Fox takes over Ben Affleck’s role in Dogma (PerezHilton)
Britney’s bodyguards bio’d (PoorBritney)
PUT THE MAKEUP BACK ON!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

And defy the fashion history of the last three years.

Normally, I’d say the Gladiator look is completely finito (and not a moment too soon), but for some reason I just can’t place I’m rather inclined to let this particular iteration go. No, wait; I’ve reconsidered. It must all come off right! now!

Hail our Capitalist Tool overlords! (TrueSlant)

Jay-Z is NOT amused (Lolebrity)

EVERYBODY POLKA!!! (TheManolo)

It runs in the family (TeenyManolo)

That does NOT say “cojones” (ManoloHome)

Balls! (ManoloBrides)

How. To. Wear. Shoes. (ManoloBig)

Hail our porn vampire overlords! (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan has a cunning plan… (AmyGrindhouse)

Sex and the City and the supporting cast (BusyBeeBlogger)

They sent them back to the volcano (CeleBitchy)

Fergie, Ghetto Duchess (CelebrityBeehive)

Nicole Kidman’s new shirt stuffers (CelebCosmeticSurgery)

Paula Abdul can’t count? Imagine! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

25 Cent (CelebritySmack)

Liza with a line! (DailyStab)

So THAT’s why Sonoma is popular for weekends away (DListed)

Hail our big-butted overlords! (Gawker)

Hail our Adderall-crazed overlord! (HaveUHeard)

Ol’ Googly Eyes and his Moll from Outer Space at a premiere (INeedMyFix)

Lindsay Lohan in Night Court! (IBBB)

Wait, someone put WRITERS on camera??? (MovieLine)

Jake Gyllenhaal whips out his big sword for the cameras (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

ZOMG Ginny is taller than Harry! (UKPopSugar)

At last we learn the backstory to the shot herd ’round the world. Oh Snoop, we’ve all been there.

Claire Danes knows how to work a trenchcoat (Lolebrity)

Celebrities! They’re not like us! They can walk in these shoes! (CelebToast)

The best 404 message online (AgentBedhead)

Om Nom Nom WHA???? (AllieIsWired)

Brittany Murphy, Casey Johnson, Basic Health Rules laid to rest (AmyGrindhouse)

Demon in sheep’s clothing (BWE)

Anne Hathaway flips the bird (BricksAndStones)

Alexis for Alexis! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ooh La Little Girl Lingerie? (LaughingStork)

Kate, I think you dropped something (HolyMoly)

Sandra Bullock will cut a bitch (LitelySalted)

Forget Mischa Barton, try Carole Channing! (LaineyGossip)

Kristen Stewart in court for prostitution (TMZ)

Ralph Lauren snubs in public! (CelebrityMound)

Ellen for President? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Tom Brady’s 2-month-old can run??? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Oooh, ACDC MUST DIE!!!! (CeleBitchy)

Jay-Qui? (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Possibly the most terrifying headline I’ve ever read (CelebritySmack)

Kanye survives horrifying ordeal (CelebSlam)

Bublé‘s bongo bowl (CityRag)

Dennis Quaid’s farmer’s tan (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The Real BabyMamas of Atlanta (Crunk+Disorderly)

Brangelina lives! (DailyStab)

Paris has gone to the dogs (DanasDirt)

Nicknames of the literati (Gawker)

The return of PuppyBowl (DListed)

Betty White is terrifying (EvilBeet)

Small Wonder it was cancelled (FourFour)

Janet Jackson is a Janet Jackson impersonator (GabbyBabble)

Best Dressed/Worst Dressed at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)

Snooki’s makeover (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Qween no longer on Scene (INeedMyFix)

How Hugh Jackman rolls (HaveUHeard)

World’s most expensive benchwarmers (HollywoodBackwash)

Flack pointedly does NOT deny Paris Hilton is dumb (HollywoodRag)

Sniff Beyonce for $50 (HollywoodTuna)

KFat achieves self-awareness (ImNotObsessed)

Leif Garrett busted NOT A FLASHBACK TO 1975 (Janet CharltonsHollywood)

Virgins versus Texting! (JustJared)

PETA vs Avatar (Movieline)

Jessica Biel definitely not Jewish (FitCeleb)

Frances Bean taking singing lessons (PerezHilton)

Stock Anderson Cooper Adorable Story (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Russell Brand shoots, scores (UKPopSugar)

Jamaican Bobsled Team not so cool (WizBangPop)

Orlando Bloom is all wet (PopBytes)

Kelly Clarkson in flamewar (RadarOnline)

Re-Enchanted (SeriouslyOMG)

Tila says the butler didn’t do it (ASocialiteLife)

Conan O’Brien’s Valentine to Britney (SquareEyes)

Saffy, darling, are you slumming in this movie? (TenGossip)

John Mayer needs to take off the Wayfarers (TheBosh)

Mischa Barton wins Best Supporting Hose (TheSkinny)

Pete Doherty demonstrates oral hygiene, a heart, mendacity (AgentBedhead)

Vince Vaughn needs braiiiiiiiinssssss (Websters)

Suzanne Summers shows you the graveyard of Alan Thicke’s hopes and dreams (SeriouslyOMG)

Pete Doherty will win Kate Moss back with Diamond of Death! (CeleBitchy)

David Beckham prefers the back door (UKPopSugar)

PerezHilton hater suing him for making her look bad (MollyGood)

Beelzebub Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller an item (JustJared)

Celebrity spawn for fun and profit (ImNotObsessed)

Racist, sexist or just plain defamatory: you decide! (CandyKirby)

Aubrey O’Day fill-in fug (GoFugYourself)

Sex Zombie King Hugh Hefner and his posse of victims (DailyStab)

The Dark Knight is our shining hope (CelebritySmack)

Gwyneth Paltrow must have sold her soul (Defamer)

Lisa Bonet’s AngelHeart past catches up with her (Crunk&Disorderly)

Speaking of “parent issues:” Michael Jackson Comeback Threat Alert Red (CelebSlam)

Gwyneth Paltrow is only ever Gwyneth Paltrow, even when it costs other people a fortune (CeleBitchy)

Gwyneth Paltrow pulls a Miley Cyrus, twenty years later (NOTW)

Amy Poehler will be a good Baby Mama (Derober)

Why Miley Cyrus’ overexposure is all Annie Leibovitz’s fault (Gawker)

TR Knight brings GLAAD tidings politicians don’t want to hear (E!)

Celebrity beverages. Must be of legal age or, presumably, on an Annie Leibovitz shoot (Jossip)

Annie Leibovitz is sorry we all misunderstood the naked fifteen-year-old “art” (WendyWayrad)

Battle of the B-Movie Directors (AgentBedhead)

Miley Cyrus just wants to make you happy (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Kirk Douglas defends the olds (Defamer)

John Travolta sez: looking like a porn star is not just for kids anymore! (Yeeeeah)

In sexually-exploited-former-child-star news: Britney sane enough to reprise HIMYM role (Dlisted)

Slash’s kids keep their clothes and their attitude ON, baby! (SeriouslyOMG)

Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are so money, yet lack cabfare? (PopSugar)

Beyonce and Jay-Z have good old-fashioned values (HolyMoly)

Meanwhile, 15-year-old with longest odds actually turning out classy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Miley Cyrus is a budding Annie Leibovitz herself (CelebritySmack)

Pamela Anderson works hard for PETA, does not know what you mean by “cognitive dissonance” (PopBytes)

Is the Hoff old enough to be dating EVE HERSELF??? (ImNotObsessed)

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

Every day, every one, is exactly the same to Karl Lagerfeld (Gawker)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

The line begins to blur: Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare  (Metaquotes)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jessica Simpson’s ringfinger/finger ringer? (IBBB)

Guns ‘n Roses’ terrible (eternal) lie (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Connor Cruise doesn’t bite the hand that feeds (JustJared)

Head has, like, a hole: The Hoff has eye surgery (HolyMoly)

The honeymoon is over for Beyonce and Jay-Z (Yeeeeah)

Debbie Gibson has a scary Spanish stalker (WhizbangPop)

CNN reporter in speed bust (CeleBitchy)

Celebrities celebrate 420 (CityRag)

A narrow escape for a cinematic classic: Tom Cruise as Edward Scissorhands? (HolyMoly)

Jude Law morphing into your creepy, manorexic uncle (SplashNews)

Heath Ledger may have taken The Method too far (Gabsmash)

Pete Doherty’s credit is good? (TheRadReport)

The incredible Tony Romo impregnation juggernaut? (CelebrityDirt)

Gary Busey soon to be as homeless as he appears! (CelebritySmack)

TomKat is the very picture of marital bliss (DailyStab)

Happy Birthday, Suri! (CircusHour)

Fundie fashion fun (Mollygood)

Evan Rachel Wood is over Marilyn Manson (or at least her face is) (JustJared)

Mariah Carey walks out on her fans (PerezHilton)

A demon speaks! (CelebritySmack)

We need a silver bullet for this one (GabbyBabble)

Even Amy’s trash needs bodyguards (Celebslam)

Sir Paul McCartney feels Mariah Carey’s hot breath on the back of his neck (Dlisted)

Madonna, Bono caught in downdraft as Jay-Z passes them (Radar)

If this guy is straight, he’s got the best job in the whole world (TheBastardly)

Robin Williams is dating a blonde less than half his age (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Madonna sleeps with electronic doodads! (Mollygood)

Lindsay checks her stash (Yeeeeah)

Team Sutherland UNITE! (AgentBedhead)

Kiefer’s mystery fashionista (JustJared)

Shakira is a team playa (Defamer)

Dita von Teese has a shameful past as porn actress, Eighties hair wearer (PopOnThePop)

TMZ hits a new low for the gossip industry (Gawker)

Billy Joel rolls with a nearly-indistinguishable posse of daughter and wife (CircusHour)

Yeah, I’d rather die than live knowing I had sex with this guy, too (TheRadReport)

Keanu Reeves still alive, still hot (DailyStab)

Robert Redford still alive, still hot (Websters)

Jimmy Kimmel moves on from Ben Affleck (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Jay-Z is accursed, in bed with slave traders (Gawker)

The Real Housewives of New York is unreal! (Jezebel)

It’s called the casting crouch nowadays (Defamer)

Could YOU be Jamie-Lynn Spears’s babydaddy? (Celebitchy)

Christina Aguilera’s boobs are one veiny, lopsided mess (ImNotObsessed)

Ali Lohan wants to be just like her big sister. Only without the mug shots and dry spells (JustJared)

Amy Winehouse has Estee Lauder running scared, yew betcha (Dlisted)

The blogosphere takes a scalp (DeusExMalcontent)

Secrets of Celebrity Swag (Forbes)

The twins have landed (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Owen Wilson to spend another Night at the Museum, six months at my place (MTVMoviesBlog)

Owen Wilson apparently looking up his old dealer (AllHeadlineNews)

Britney went cold turkey for four hours today (Mollygood)

If Jessica McClintock passed out on a Monet… (GoFugYourself)

Tom Cruise is the most popular freak in the circus (CircusHour)

A man who dresses like Perez Hilton should NOT be hating on the Anna Piaggi (PerezHilton)

Keira Knightly is soulless, miserable about it. So are we, actually (AgentBedhead)

Mischa Barton charged on four counts (EvilBeet)

Valerie Bertinelli has a damn good excuse: she was wasted! (CelebritySmack)