Adrien Brody's prayers were answered when he made Hump Day Hunk

There’s just something about this skeevy bastard that I like. Maybe it’s that he’s a winning rally driver. Maybe it’s that he looks so intellectual, and dresses so Pool Shark. Maybe it’s that hell, it’s been a long time and … but there, I’ve said too much. And besides, I can’t run Prince Harry every week, can I?

Let’s toast to Adrien’s dream come true with a spirited round of Pool Shark, the Drinking Game and some gossip links.

Wine A-Z; the ultimate Go Cup! A jogging bra/wine skin combo? Why the hell not, my camelbak imbues my Sauv Blanc with aromas of Gatorade as it is. (Manolofood)

Van Gogh and Orcas Unicorn Chaser. Make your hump day a little smoother with soothing pictures of swirling stars and wild whales in Downtown Vangroover. Yes, orcas belong in a gossip roundup. I’m Canadian, dammit.  (raincoaster)

Top That! Princess Beatrice’s amazing Hat of Hideousness (+10) is for sale on eBay to benefit children, if not onlookers (Ayyyy)

George Clooney chickens out. The television remake of Men Who Stare At Goats was disappointingly downscaled. (Lolebrity)

Life, Death, Violence, Barbie, and extremely mixed messages. I’m not exactly sure where the war crimes tribunal comes into it, but apparently it does, somewhere. Also: Ken is a draft dodger? (Crasstalk)

Dear God, Johnny Depp is a kinky beast. Taking a page from Chuck Berry, he made Penelope Cruz dress up as a … no, I can’t even say it. Seriously, nobody would put Salma Hayek through that. (AgentBedhead)

Is House getting evicted? Hugh Laurie has a great big, leaky mouth. There, take THAT image into your Bertie/Jeeves slash-thinking mind. (BusyBeeBlogger)

Yet another Jagger kid poses nekkid. Surely I thought we’d run out of these potato-faced wonders by now, but apparently not. Is “Club Kid” really a career choice? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

This is perhaps the most terrifying headline of all time, until you smack yourself in the head and say “IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU PERVERT” and move on. But still. (CelebritySmack)

Oh, Will Smith. It’s not the size: it’s how you use it! And using it to annoy an entire neighborhood is just Letting the Thetans Win. (CelebVIPLounge)

Bristol Palin, now surgically enhanced! But not improved: it wasn’t brain surgery, after all. (DailyStab)

Taylor Swift will out a bitch! This girl doesn’t exist off the record, and if you’re dating her, neither do you (EarSucker)

Lady Gaga is Asian? Golly, she MUST have had some serious work done; she doesn’t look it. (FitFabCeleb)

Owen Freaking Wilson and yeah, like, a bunch of other celebs in Cannes, but who gives a rat’s ass about them? Eh? OWEN WILSON! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jennifer Aniston’s steamy banana handling. Look ma, no hands! No desperation, either…that is so NOT the sound of faint weeping I hear. Nosiree Bob. (HaveUHeard)

L’innocent sentenced to live in mansion next door to coke connection. Poor thing. That’ll teach HER! (HollywoodHiccups)

Who’s the $100 million man? The one going around spreading herpes? Yeah, “That one who dated Paris Hilton” doesn’t really narrow it down any. (INeedMyFix)

Joan Rivers better watch her back: Kermit the Frog is after her job. The Red Carpet just got a little greener and a LOT cuter (PopBytes)

Adorable Prince Harry and adorable puppy being adorable. Adorbz! What are you still doing here? CLICKY CLICK CLICK! (Swoonworthy)

Caption the Gouvernator and his ex. I’m thinking something Harry Potter related. She reminds me of Emma Thompson’s character, the Divinology professor. (RightCelebrity)

Stop! In the name of ... all that is holy

The Fake and Bake is strong with this one.

Let’s all have a glass of Bolli fortified with Stoli and a good hard look at ourselves in the mirror (are we really turning into our mothers?) and a few celebrity gossip links with a Mother’s Day theme.

The great Hillary Clinton cover-up (raincoaster)

Mother’s Day food porn (ManoloFood)

Guess the celebrity and her mom (Ayyyy)

Norman Bates LOVES his mommy (Lolebrity)

Rock on: Mother’s Day ditty from Dwayne Johnson (AgentBedhead)

Sheryl Crow’s building her own Partridge Family (BusyBeeBlogger)

That’s it, Bieber! Go to your room! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Sean Penn, you listen to your mother! YOU COME BACK HERE YOUNG MAN!!! (CelebritySmack)

It’s okay, Kate, don’t be jealous. Mom always liked you best (CelebVIPLounge)

Is this woman the fiercest mom on the planet? (CityRag)

Baby Beckham is already colour-coordinated (DailyStab)

Mommy had better get out of rehab soon (EarSucker)

Uh, is this some kind of bizarre Hollywood fertility rite? (FitFabCeleb)

Celebs and their moms on Mother’s Day (HaveUHeard)

Sparklepants and the world’s most famous unwed mother pose (HollywoodHiccups)

Mom Julia Roberts wants to save millions of moms’s lives (INeedMyFix)

Xtina shows off her babyfeed silos (MathewGuiver)

Teen mom Jamie Lynn is scaring me (PoorBritney)

Saluting Sophia Loren, about 40 years late (PopBytes)

Happy mother’s day from Roseanne (SeriouslyOMG)

In certain circles George Clooney’s birthday was also a holiday (SwoonWorthy)

World’s most famous barren womb indulges in Salvation Armani (TheSkinny)

The torch is passed: Madonna’s girl-child releases a single (TheSkinnyChic)

The Royal Wedding entrance like none other. My shameful past as a Prince Andrew fangirl with full-on subscriptions to Majesty AND The Royals comes out as I say the Princess Ann and Camilla lookalikes are really startlingly good, but the emo cynic within me comes out when I note that even the fake Prince Harry has way more fun than the fake Prince William, who has way more fun than either of the real ones.

Now, let’s toast these glorious ersatzii with (what else?) a Buck’s Fizz and some common gossip links.

Tee Many Martoonis (ManoloFood)

Spa No Go? Oh. (raincoaster)

Marilyn Monroe conquers the world! (Ayyyy)

Is this how the Spears family started? (Lolebrity)

Tom Cruise sees red (AgentBedhead)

And it turns out he’s not even related to Viggo! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Evan Rachel Wood lives up to his name (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Vanessa Hudgens in tampon chain fashion tragedy (CelebritySmack)

And then Trump asked for its birth certificate (CelebVIPLounge)

Joey Ramone lives on. On white trash (CityRag)

NPH has double trouble (DailyStab)

How many celebutards does it take to dance on the head of a mushroom? (DippedInCream)

Oh, Aniston, it’s SO mutual (EarSucker)

Mike Tyson is serious about this yoga thing, too (FitFabCeleb)

Elizabeth Hurley will never age. STOP IT ALREADY, BITCH! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Let me get this straight…If you sleep under Miley Cyrus’ armpits, you will never have nightmares? (HaveUHeard)

JSimp wigs out (HollywoodHiccups)

Shack up with Glee! (INeedMyFix)

Royal Wedding rehearsal shocker! (MathewGuiver)

Nicki Minaj drops the dildo for Britney (PoorBritney)

Fergie drops the “D-List Bomb” on the TSA (PopBytes)

Huh? Seriously? Kirstie Alley was onstage at the same time? (Swoonworthy)

Miley Cyrus appears to have a shin cellulite problem??? (TheSkinny)

 

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Are you WINNING? Diddy sure is, and PWNING too. BOOM!

RIP OD (CelebritySmack)

REM RT (CelebrityVIPLounge)

WINNING! photoshops (CityRag)

SO FAR, Demi. So far… (DailyStab)

Adele is pro-gossip (DippedInCream)

Everybody but me has a book deal and a sex tape (EarSucker)

Three planets that size make a solar plexus system (FitFabCeleb)

Remember Lily Allen? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

One gets Africa, one gets New York? (HaveUHeard)

Aw man, don’t bling that thing! (HollywoodHiccups)

They have country music in Belgium? (INeedMyFix)

Roseanne Barr and Charlie Sheen? (MathewGuiver)

KFed/FedX Xpands (PoorBritney)

“Country Music’s newest star” (PopBytes)

TURBAN SIGHTING!!! (TheSkinny)

Bikini baby bump (TheSkinnyChic)

I’m sorry, people, do we really have to go over this after all this time?

Charo cannot be upstaged. It cannot be done. Stop trying.

And now, it’s time for our Sexy Links. Enjoy them with a sexy cocktail like the Big Blue Sexy:

Sextradited! Julian Assange is going to Sweden! (raincoaster)

and how much do they make busking in that lobby anyway? (Ayyyy)

Dinner with Julian could get sexy! (Manolofood)

Steve Martin is a spammer! (raincoastermedia)

Marlon Brando is rollin’ dirty! (Lolebrity)

The King must be hard up (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan can afford a car? (BusyBeeBlogger)

How to Kreate a Kardashian (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Let them eat Paris Hilton’s birthday cake! (CelebritySmack)

Champagne wishes and caviar … nails? (CelebVIPLounge)

Making money this way is still more respectable than doing Glitter (CeleBitchy)

EVERYBODY’s a Material Girl (DailyStab)

Buy some Bieber! (Earsucker)

It’s a living, eh Natalie? (FitFabCeleb)

Kiki Drunkst spent her allowance on eyeliner (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Rosie O’Donnell is gonna have to get a job now! (HaveUHeard)

Also, she was trying to auction off her Plus One (INeedMyFix)

Is there MONEY in being an internet troll? (PoorBritney)

The Donald is just pissed Rihanna is richer than him (PopBytes)

and for this she gets $5million a picture (SeriouslyOMG)

I’d pay good money to have seen this live (TheSkinny)

Congrats to the cute couple

Awww, isn’t that cute? The Duchess of Alba and her boytoy Alfonso Díez are making it legal. Living proof, if any were needed, that an aggressive nose job that results in you breathing out of two large pores in the middle of your face is never a wasted expense, if it allows one to attract men known to society paper readers everywhere as “and Unnamed Friend”.

In honour of the lovely couple, let’s toast them with a classic Champagne cocktail fortified with a little Spanish brandy, and read some sexy gossip links:

inside raincoaster (raincoaster)

Ryan Reynolds has a sexy fra…what was I saying? (Ayyyy)

Kate Spade’s sexy movie (ManoloFood)

Fred and George Weasley KNOW they’ve got it (Lolebrity)

Sir Elton has some words for our generation’s biggest a$$ (AgentBedhead)

Chris Isaak’s steamy new video (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tila Tequila’s sex tape means we’ll never be rid of her (CelebDirtyLaundry)

WHAT is Gaga doing to herself in bed? (CelebritySmack)

ScarJo doesn’t let cobwebs grow on her ladybits (CelebVIPLounge)

VD Stars! (CityRag)

OMG Tila Tequila and Jennifer Aniston appear in sketchy video together (DailyStab)

Michelle Trachtenberg loves her body and tells you ALL about it (FitFabCeleb)

They get wet (GirlsTalkinSmack)

J Hud talks about her new body (HaveUHeard)

Anderson Cooper is NOT into beatings! (INeedMyFix)

Britney’s got yogabutt! (PoorBritney)

What’s Lady Gaga’s sex name? (PopBytes)

Forget the body: what has Nicole Richie done to her face? (TheSkinny)

Chuck Berry on line one… (SeriouslyOMG)

Sigh. George, what went wrong?

That’s my boy. Very few people know that back in ’92 and ’93 I was actually a founding member of the George Stephanopoulos Fan Club, and a contributor to their monthly newsletter, the Stephanopouletter. My copy of The War Room has nearly worn out from being watched every 4th of July. I saw him in person at the Vancouver Summit, where I looked up from my glamorous work unloading the coffee for Starbucks, saw him, and froze. It’s not too often I’ve had my breath taken away, but that was one of those times. An American Secret Service agent who’d no doubt seen this happen to dozens of hapless women walked over and said, “That’s George Stephanopoulos. But he’s not old enough to date.”

Le Sigh.

Where was I? Oh, right. In the spirit of bipartisanship I’ll try to remember to feature a picture of Young John McCain at some point in the future, or you can just cheat and click through for that.

And now, the gossip links!

Julian Assange’s new do (raincoaster)

Shut UP, Emma Watson (Lolebrity)

Guess the gap-toothed guy (Ayyyy)

Our WORLD EXCLUSIVE lasted exactly one day (ManoloFood)

Stayin’ Alive? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! (AgentBedhead)

The baby’s first word was “rhinoplasty” (BusyBeeBlogger)

Jimmy Buffetted! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Have YOU ever been upstaged by your own dress? (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton shows you her puppies (CityRag)

But which one is MegaShark and which is Gatoroid? (DailyStab)

Never before has spandex restrained so much for so little purpose (FitFabCeleb)

Gag (GirlsTalkinSmack)

So she was single in the sense that nobody would be seen with her? (HaveUHeard)

Jon Cryer is no different from anybody else (INeedMyFix)

Sad, gender-confused Britney (PoorBritney)

The CougarTown drinking game! (SeriouslyOMG)

Related articles

• Bipartisanship Ho? John McCain Tells Stephanopoulos ‘We Can Work With This’ (mediaite.com)

Yes, that's a vagina sweater

Thanks to our pal DemiCouture, we were made aware of this … remarkable … sweater from Topshop. Perchance is it Brazilian?

Definitely your go-to choice if you’re either “professionally companionable” or dating a guy who drives a Hummer.

Saint Bill of Murray (Lolebrity)

Michael Douglas photobomb! (raincoaster)

Julian Assange is the greatest photoshop opportunity of our time (Ayyyy)

Cheese it! That’s too expensive! (Manolofood)

Katie Holmes and the World’s Ugliest Pants (AgentBedhead)

But did he put it on her FINGER? (AmyGrindhouse)

Are We There Yet contest (BusyBeeBlogger)

Jennifer Aniston pulls a Bridget Jones (CeleBitchy)

Palin putting it around? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

I see dumb people. They don’t know they’re dumb (CelebritySmack)

Annalynne McCord gives a puppy a helping hand (CityRag)

This choice of Catwoman is nuts! (DailyStab)

You can get arrested for just acting weird? (FitFabCeleb)

Xtina is X-ed out in someone else’s bed (GirlsTalkinSmack)

P!nk is F!!!ing Perfect (HaveUHeard)

Rachel Zoe is unapologetically elasticized (INeedMyFix)

Spears for Sears? (PoorBritney)

Prince + Madonna = Tru Luv 4 eva (PopBytes)

David Spade is OLD: FACT of life (SeriouslyOMG)