Ayyyy!

Let’s start the week right with some eye candy, shall we? Presenting Prince Hot Ginge:

As Borat would say, “verrrrry niiiiiiiiice!” The great thing about uniforms is, if they look bad the entire country complains about them until they get fixed; in a way, it’s sort of crowdsourcing design. Yes, there are practical considerations to which one must Iraqiesce. Sure, it may never be as sleek as if Hedi Slimane got his hands on it, but on the plus side, most of the recruits would be able to fit into the uniforms without contracting cosmetic tuberculosis first.

Sami Salo’s Internet Celebrity Takes Balls (True/Slant)

Nicole Kidman can’t exorcise the ghost of Tom Cruise (Lolebrity)

Red Sole Diaries (TheManolo)

The Death of Cute (TheBigGirls)

Jennifer Aniston’s baby food consequences (TeenyManolo)

These crazy kids! (ManoloHome)

Happy Mother of the Bride Day (ManoloBrides)

Henry Rollins is outed! (AgentBedhead)

RIP Lena Horne (AmyGrindhouse)

Betty White OWNs Saturday Night (BusyBeeBlogger)

Heidi Klum wants into your closet! (CeleBitchy)

You’re the man now, Chaz! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Jessica Simpson is wrapped like a Mother’s Day pressie (CelebritySmack)

World’s crispiest hair spotted in New York (DailyStab)

Old Person wins Gaga fight (Gawker)

Kristen Stewart goes through Elle (HaveUHeard)

Minnie Driver’s baby will KILL YOU (INeedMyFix)

Bristols for Babies! I mean against! Oh it’s so hard to keep track! (IBBB)

I…I don’t think I want to KNOW what a “Pob” is, let alone watch one (UKPopSugar)

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Lee Meriweather knows how to work a real eye patch!
(yes, I know Hump Day is for pix of pretty mens, but I heart Catwoman, the eye patch is topical and besides, I’m still rather hungover, so deal.

Betty White knows why it’s called a “reception” (Lolebrity)
Everybody Lin Yu Chun tonight! (CelebrityBeehive)
Demivision! (TheManolo)
Framed! (ManoloHome)
Vacuum coffee makers are teh suck? (ManoloFood)
Get tight at your wedding (ManoloBrides)
Zoolander Jr (TeenyManolo)
JSimp is semi-filthy (AmyGrindhouse
E Hassel’s semi-believable snivelfest (DippedInCream)
Adam Sandler, Nicole Kidman, and Jennifer Aniston were reportedly “at it” yesterday (BusyBeeBlogger)
Ooooh, Lady Gaga is going DOWN (CeleBitchy)
KDash has Bieber Fever? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Julia Oopsie-Dreyfus (CelebritySmack)
Never mind that: Miley Cyrus can’t be believed! (DailyStab)
Betty White parties hearty! (INeedMyFix)
Goop 4 poop! (Movieline)
RPattz and KStew are frequent co-flyers (UKPopSugar)

Let’s give it up for the hardest-working man in no business: the virtually unemployable yet always indomitable David Hasselhoff! Yes, the look may say “ageing gangster gigolo” but it’s a look to which I’ve been partial ever since that Star Trek episode where they went back to the Twenties. The shoes! The hats! The loud, loud suits!

Jennifer Aniston has the hardest-working plumbing in showbusiness (Lolebrity)

Lin Yu Chun and William Shatner completely work over Total Eclipse of the Heart (raincoaster)

Hardest-working Pratt in PR (AmyGrindhouse)

Hard labour in Hollywood (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ebert’s wife is the hardest-working spouse in tv (CeleBitchy)
Want to work hard for internet glory? (CelebrityBeehive)
Jessica Simpson too lazy for basic hygiene (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The hardest-working gossipeuse on Ustream (CelebritySmack)
Work hard for immortal mayhem! (Virgin)
It’s hard work, burying your soon-to-be-ex-husband alive (CelebToast)
Scott Baio works hard at being a twit (CityRag)
Jennifer Lopez just doesn’t work hard enough at Teh Fab (CojoStyle)
The hardest-working broodmare in the reality tv stable (DailyStab)
Do you want to work for Glee? Or just plain old money? (FirstClassFashionista)
Brenda wants to struggle! (FourFour)
JSimp shows off the hardest-working Spanx in fashion (GabbyBabble)
Peaches is the hardest-working junkie Scientologist celebuspawn starfarker in Coachella (Gawker)
Jennifer Hudson is working something out (GoFugYourself)
Rihanna’s Rib Recovers from exhaustion at hospital (HaveUHeard)
American Idiots spend hard-earned dollars on tickets to Broadway shows calling them idiots; how stupid is that? (INeedMyFix)
A Britney blogger’s work is never done (PoorBritney)
After all that work, you need your rest (IBBB)
It’s hard out here for a pimp (LitelySalted)
Busey wants you to WORK, lazy grocery imps! (Manolo)
James Cameron has been working WAY too hard (Movieline)
Glee does its Madonna homework (work) (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Who’s been working hard? (UKPopSugar)
It’s cruel to put Zombie Bea Arthur to work! (PopBytes)
Secretariat has some guns! (SeriouslyOMG)
The Heat is On…Jake Gyllenhaal (TenGossip)

Matthew Lewis, better-known as the hapless Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter movies, cleans up quite nicely. And who doesn’t love a boy who overdoes it in the balloon bouquet department?

Sandra Bullock’s sex tape (raincoaster)

Why Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy really broke up (Lolebrity)

Bai Ling is back in the USSR Song Dynasty (AgentBedhead)

OK! Cancel my subscription if this really works! (AmyGrindhouse)

Madonna drops a brick in Malawi (BusyBeeBlogger)

Hold the cheeseburgerphone! (CeleBitchy)

The Sandra Bullock blackmail backlash (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Ferris cannot be tempted by your tawdry tassels! (CelebritySmack)

Duggar baby digs out (DailyStab)

Matt Damon dumped! (INeedMyFix)

Steve Carrell on a date (JustJared)

Roll over, John Lennon! (MovieLine)

Thanks to a malfunction at Picapp, I’m not sure exactly who these people are, but given the news about Wayne Newton’s financial troubles (see farther down this post) I can only assume they’re some sort of Wayniac fund-raising team, perhaps busking on the street for pennies and francs to pay off creditors. All that fabulousness doesn’t come cheap!

Bums in Seats: the dollar value of celebrity bottoms (True/Slant)

The United States of Jay-Z (Lolebrity)

The Return of Reznor (AgentBedhead)

Diane Krueger has a past (LitelySalted)

Lady Gaga dares you to cross the line (AmyGrindhouse)

Hold the phone! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Nic Cage needs more than a tax shelter (CelebritySmack)

Dr Who homeless? (HolyMoly)

Betty White won’t do the casting couch (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Hot men: all you can eat! (CeleBitchy)

Nude jogging: doesn’t that hurt? (CrazyDays&Nights)

All About Eve 2.0 Nicole vs Selena (EvilBeet)

Sean Penn is such a charmer (GabbyBabble)

Bumpits hit the red carpet (GoFugYourself)

Demi Moore is immortal (INeedMyFix)

Jennifer Aniston is a total pro (IBBB)

Rihanna has found her perfect man (JustJared)

Jon Stewart gets lucky on Chatroulette (Movieline)

Johnny Depp? Or Keanu Reeves? (AccidentalSexiness)

Rootin’ Tootin’ Wayne Newton needs you, Wayniacs! (PerezHilton)

Green Lantern 3D (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Kate Moss vs Sienna Miller (UKPopSugar)

Charlie Sheen is rejected (RadarOnline)

Mickey Rourke overshare! (SeriouslyOMG)

Who the heck is Nikki Yanofsky? (TenGossip)

Overshare roundup (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

This? This is genius. And no doubt about to be a best-seller with single girls, who are up to their ears in articles on how to date hot men who bore them senseless (anything rather than be single!): just get him one of these super-turtlenecks and voila! Problem solved, and so much less stressful than just telling him to shut up.

M is for Muffle It, Heidi (AgentBedhead)

Shut Your Mouth! Elijah Wood is 29 (AmyGrindhouse)

Mad Man murdered by silence (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ben wants Jen to STFU (CeleBitchy)

Siskel shushes Ebert (Movieline)

Cows take Kiefer for a ride (PopEater)

Tina Turner is HOW old? Shut up! (CelebritySmack)

Say What? (DailyStab)

Monjack seeks to gag WarnerBrothers (DListed)

Amy Winehouse erases Blake (HolyMoly)

Things Jennifer Aniston DIDN’T say (PopBytes)

Denise Van Outen speaks in code (UKPopSugar)

Mariah’s dress covers her hidden charms (CityRag)

Hugh Jackman speaks! (LitelySalted)

Diddy did? I’m speechless (LaughingStork)

Clare Danes speaks for the autistic (INeedMyFix)

Pete Doherty continues to be unspeakable (CrazyDays&Nights)

Jay Leno hasn’t spoken to Conan (EvilBeet)

Ugly Betty silenced (GabbyBabble)

Alicia Keys has no comment (INO)

NBC slides Conan some hush money? (JustJared)

Zelda Rubenstein has gone dark (Movieline)

Jon Voight wants you to STFU HATERZ (PerezHilton)

Mariah shouldn’t talk! (ASL)

Lance Bass is quietly emo (TenGossip)

Chris Matthews puts his foot in his mouth (Gawker)

Shut up, Kanye (Lolebrity)

How can this be anything but WIN, unless you’re RPattz’s parents, that is?

Rachel vs House (Lolebrity)

Australia versus Versace (News)

“Pneumonia” is the new “exhaustion” (INO)

Vampires and the swine flu (JustJared)

Will Sandra Bullock take over the whole world? (Movieline)

Behold the sexiest man alive! (UKPopSugar)

Is this whole month a DON’T? (GraziaFashion)

Behind closed doors with Tom Cruise (PopBytes)

Too much to hope for? Miley Cyrus’ Last Song (SeriouslyOMG)

Ten’s Ten Sexiest Men (TenGossip)

Lindsay Lohan, grab bag lady (LitelySalted)

New Moon underwear wars (AgentBedhead)

Levi without his Levis (DailyStab)

Rachel Maddow <3 Sarah Palin (Gawker)

CourSem sez SamRo somethingorother LiLo (EvilBeet)

Harry Connick Jr has the filthiest look at a Christmas concert (GabbyBabble)

The Shoehan blog (Shoehans)

What Karl hates (CeleBitchy)

Taylor Lautner still hot, not legal (BusyBeeBlogger)

And this is why Canada rules hockey (BWE)

Stevie Wonder’s on Twitter! (CelebritySmack)

And we don’t even have an affiliate deal with Barefoot Wines. Still. Num.

Join the Bloggerati (TeenyManolo)

Parisian snobbery (AgentBedhead)

Mean Girl is mean (AmyGrindhouse)

Bill Gates is no Steve Jobs (BWE)

Steve Jobs is no Bill Gates (Stanford.Edu)

Even Jennifer Aniston finds Jennifer Aniston’s lovelife laughable (BBB)

Pantyhose for Twilight freaks (LaughingStork)

Party for the Congo! (CeleBitchy)

John Mayer stages publicity stunt for dude who REALLY needs publicity (CelebritySmack)

Nikki Cox Mohr or Less (CelebuWreck)

St. Brangelina strikes again (DailyStab)

Meet NYC’s first married gays (Gawker)

Uncle Karl prowls the depths of Hell (DListed)

Happy Pre-Celebrity Father’s Day (EvilBeet)

Who (the Hell)’s That Girl? (GoFugYourself)

British Beef=Mad Cow Disease? (GabbyBabble)

Russell Brand is a hairy situation (INO)

Curb your enthusiasm (JJ)

Royals on parade (UKPopSugar)

Pushing Daisies goes six feet under (SeriouslyOMG)

RPattz’s new moon (TenGossip)