Ayyyy!

Knut the Polar Bear is a fanged, clawed psychopath. O RLY? (DailyMail)

Perez Hilton forms a foundation for premature babies. Awwww. (TeenyManolo)

Simon Cowell is a LOT friendlier than we thought (EvilBeet)

Kathleen Turner is STILL big. It’s the romcoms that got small! (AgentBedhead)

Ben Affleck has still got it, but alas is sharing it with Jennifer Garner (DailyStab)

Is Angelina Jolie pregnant with twins? (X17)

Tori Spelling is an unstoppable baby-making machine (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse is in rehab. Check back every ten minutes for updates, though (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney Spears tries to pick out some new children (US)

Clay Aiken haiku (Mollygood)

Star Jones makes sense? Wha??? (HuffPo)

False gods of celebrityhood (Cityrag)

Agent99 lives! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Steve Buscemi 2.0 (Websters)

Drug dealer to the stars selling more than weed (Defamer)

Doris Lessing, blogger-h8er, Nobel Laureate, feels sorry for chick-lit stars (Gawker)

John Travolta is a klass act (CelebritySmack)

Simon Cowell’s smelly balls (Defamer)

Whacko Jacko did not force man to have cosmetic surgery (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Brad Renfro, RIP (Gawker)

The Blogger Pete Doherty (AgentBedhead)

Skinny Gwynnie hospitalized (DailyStab)

Matthew McConaughey somebody’s babydaddy (Celebitchy)

Joel Madden, babydaddy, blogger (EvilBeet)

Mark Ronson is a full-service music producer (ASocialitesLife)

Ten least sexy nude scenes of all time (BestWeekEver)

Fabio will, like, fuck you up (Mollygood)

Diane Keaton will do it right on GMA (Jossip)

Lilo looks for leggings (ImNotObsessed)

Nicole Richie’s baby? What a looker! (PlanetHiltron)

Johnny Depp donates, performs Jack Sparrow panto at a children’s hospital (HolyMoly)

Annie Lennox, dumped! (ICYDK)

Purse dogs? Katie Holmes has a purse husband! (GoFugYourself)

Jennifer Garner dodged a bullet (HolyCandy)

Just another day in crazy town for Britney (GabbyBabble)

Lindsay Lohan incognito at traffic school (TMZ)

Zac Efron is de-appendixed (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Britney’s kids have already forgotten her (CelebWarship)

Johnny Depp still believes in Santa! (AgentBedhead)

Ashton Kutcher IS Santa (raincoaster)

Get into Mel Gibson’s pants, make somebody’s dreams come true (Defamer)

Party with Michael Jackson (CelebSlam)

Tony Parker is suing, not screwing (CelebritySmack)

Kiefer Christmasing in jail (CityRag)

Borat and AliG killed! (DailyStab)

Jamie-Lynn Spears has the Facts of Life going for her! (CelebrityMound)

Jamie-Lynn is afraid of Britney’s temper (IDLYITW)

Shane McGowan, who Pete Doherty wants to be when he grows up (Dlisted)

Why you should have heard of Shane McGowan (YouTube)

Oprah oppressing Obama! (EvilBeet)

Rupert Everett lays the smackdown on Jodie Foster, may need UN protection (GabbyBabble)

Lily Allen, her smokes, her pregnancy, and her new tv show (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Cutest Celebuspawn of 2007 (GoFugYourself)

Zac Efron wigs out (HolyCandy)

Britney Spears flashing figurine (PopOnThePop)

On the Fifth Day of Britmas… (DoodleWhore)

Carleton scores a porn star! All the ladies love a man with smooth moves (CeleBitchy)

The ongoing saga of PerezHilton vs YouTube; advantage: Perez (PerezHilton)

Brangelina on a bike and a trike (INF)

Jen vs Angie onstage! (ImNotObsessed)

Naomi Campbell IS Brenda Starr! (Mollygood)

Amy Winehouse primps. Can’t fault the girl for trying (TheMeatScale)

Scarlett Johannson channels Anna Nicole Smith (Websters)

Britney Spears give her kids toxic playthings of death (WendyWayrad)

Paris Hilton’s new movie has Oscar buzz. I kid! (Yeeeeah)

Rhys Meyers pops a frosty (WOWReport)

Kevin Bacon is Sincere (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Eva Longoria loves the weiners (Celebslam)

Xtina flashes the birthin’ hole (CeleBitchy)

the littlest Winehouse, the biggest beehive (TheMeatScale)

Amy Winehouse stores her leftovers (HolyCandy)

Celine Dion hates Halifax (PerezHilton)

Kate Moss gets her midday drink on (PopSugar)

Beyonce’s beauty blooper (Popbytes)

Jennifer Garner puts an elf on the shelf (ImNotObsessed)

Owen Wilson’s new girlfriend is named after Seventies classic Le Car (DerekHail)

Zahara’s birth mother is NOT suing (EvilBeet)

Nobody shits on the Shat! (Defamer)

Janice Dickinson needs a plastic surgery intervention (CelebritySmack)

Sesame Street, Taxi Driver…who can tell the difference? (AgentBedhead)

PRINCE HARRY IS SINGLE AGAIN!!!!! (USMagazine) (ed note: don’t we have a bigger font for this?)

The first rule of writing about Tom Cruise is: you don’t write about Tom Cruise. Oh crap! (CeleBizzy)

MI6 announces the new Bond Girl. Pretty, sexy, completely unknown as per usual (MI6News)

Tats for Cash: the LeBron James/Nike deal (TheClothezline)

Workin’ it old-skool: the 1977 JC Penney catalog (15-minute lunch)

Angelina is a perfectionist who can’t get anything right (WebstersIsMyBitch)

But Brad Pitt’s got her back(side) (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Saint Bob adopts other people’s children, changes their names. Where’d he get that idea? (AgentBedhead)

24: the unaired pilot! (CollegeHumor)

Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton breed! (CelebritySmack)

Courtney Thorne-Smith also sperminated, but prettier, nicer and younger (CelebrityBabyScoop)

How to make yourself look hot: be photographed between two Amy Winehouse impersonators (Bastardly)

Heather Mills is a one-legged bitch and illegal wiretapper (Dlisted)

RIP Donda West; prayers for Kanye (Gabsmash)

How Father Time stole Teri Hatcher (BringingBloggingBack)

Amy Winehouse’s enabler arrested. This is why heroin addicts are never secret agents. (Yeeeeah)

Kate Hudson gives up on Owen, picks Heath Ledger as substitute blond (CelebWarship)

Jennifer Garner’s prick (ASocialite’sLife)

Justin Timberlake makes sure his is still there (HolyCandy)

Reese Witherspoon’s son has career aspirations just like yours! (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney Spears style alert: Defcon 1! (TheMeatScale)

The latest OJ Simpson trial starts (IDLYITW)

Halle Berry’s boobs at BAFTAs (Egotastic)

Liz Taylor may be past her sell-by date (Mollygood)

Heather Mills vs Stella McCartney, the smackdown (Yeeeah)

Dina Lohan vs Riley Boytoy (what IS his name again?) (DListed)

Paris Hilton scares rats (AgentBedhead)

Pete Doherty off the wagon, on the smack (Sun)

Prince is the Prince of Digital Darkness (CelebritySmack)

Everybody loves Jennifer Garner (DailyStab)

Hilary Duff, private dancer (GabbyBabble)

KFed does the Big O (StupidCelebrities)

Beyonce’s granny girdle (TheMeatScale)

Jessica Simpson: not the steadiest tugboat on the seas (MollyGood)

Sarah Michelle Gellar, stick insect (TheSkinnyWebsite)

Rihanna: oh yes, I DI’ID! (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

Kim Cattrall sez: I’m only in it for the money (PerezHilton)

Angelina signs an “Adopt me Angelina” tee (JustJared)

Britney, artificially aged (HollywoodBackwash)

Patti Labelle rocks the Laura Ashley (GoFugYourself)

There’s one less Osmond in the world (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Britney Spears beaten by pensioners (HolyCandy)

LeeLee Sobieski’s boobs at literary gala tribute (I’mNotObsessed)

Madonna’s son to visit his birth father again (HolyMoly)

Switching Places: Old Rock Dude Edition (AgentBedhead)

Claridge’s hates Courtney Love (CeleBitchy)

Keith Richards may not be as immortal as previously thought (Divine)

Owen Wilson’s MySpace interview (Defamer)

Jeri Ryan is pregnant, pretty, political (EvilBeet)

Trick or Treat or TomKat (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Violet Affleck and Jennifer Garner ticklefight in Central Park (I’mNotObsessed)

Teri Hatcher is a Halloween Queen (InCaseYouDidn’tKnow)

Orlando Bloom wearing prison stripes but not going to prison (PopSugar)

Harry Potter, the Half-Blood Prince, and Dumbledore’s “beard protector” (JustJared)

Fox anchor or Pornstar? Take the quiz (BestWeekEver)

Fun with Amy Winehouse! (CelebritySmack)

William! Shatner! Not! In! New! Trek! (Jossip)

Please let it be Prince Harry (Dlisted)

Angelina Jolie needs a telethon of her own! (Dana’s Dirt)

Jerry Seinfeld, fashion critic; Renee Zellweger, straight man (GoFugYourself)

Jessica Alba has a clone! (HollywoodOffender)

Paris Hilton’s foreign pornshop rampage (HolyCandy)

Shaquille O’Neil, deadbeat? (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

‘Nother Naomi Campbell freakout (DerekHail)

Ryan Gosling is the new Winona Ryder? (WendyWayrad)

Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley together again (DailyMail)

Demi Moore’s 2000 pounds of silicone (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jessica Biel is womanhandled (HolyCandy)

Mischa Barton shows her Sapphic side, too (DailyStab)

Britney loses visitation rights (TMZ)

Owen Wilson off the smack, on the Patron Silver (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay’s got a ring on her finger! (EvilBeet)

RIP Deborah Kerr: An Actress to Remember (GabbyBabble)

Norwegian wouldn’t: Amy Winehouse arrested in Bergen (HolyMoly)

The Michael Jackson/Teri Hatcher convertible Halloween mask (Defamer)

Joely Richardson makes Karen Carpenter look chubby (DailyMail)

Uma Thurman steals Britney’s look (HollywoodTuna)

Ben Affleck is gone, baby, gone (Mollygood)

Celebrity Moms on Parade: Jennifer Garner, Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Julianne Moore, Maggie Gyllenhaal (yes, that’s her!!) and Kate Winslet (I’mNotObsessed)

Alice Evans in costume as The Widow Cobain (GoFugYourself)

David Beckham is ready to play the field (ASocialite’sLife)

Last remaining Rat Packer packs it in (WOWReport)